"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Dolato]

As I am new to the sugar bowl and each aspect of this area evolves, I am encountering new "issues" here and there. The latest, my first SB, age 20, girl who has experienced life beyond what most girls her age have experienced. The Ex abusive boyfriend, a few bad boys, one kid at age 18 and so on. She views me as the first guy ever in her life who has treated her right and with respect, etc. (that's just in my nature I guess) so the other night she dumps on me that she is "falling' for me and wants a true relationship with me. Now this girl is super sweet and sensitive. She is a solid 7 in the looks department, with the girl next door thing going on. I came back with the excuse of our age differences and tried explaining we just both needed to enjoy each while the ride lasted. She got all sappy and starting crying and said she was really into me and such.

Now for some reason this scares the bee gees out of me as I'm sure you all can fill in some of the blanks. I like the girl and in another life, I might entertain and true relationship with her. She's the kind of girl that you might call a keeper. But this is just not going to happen. Any ideas how to let her down easy and escape any drama here?

Thanks!

Whether in the bowl or civie dating, you have to be aware of the damaged ones. The emotions for you can be advantages in the short term, but can be much more costly in the long run. The sugar bowl is no different from other modes of our hobby. The money we leave is not just for the sex but for some peace of mind. If she has no real info on you, it's as easy a break as she allows. Worst case scenario you can just disappear from her life. But it'll be tough if she does have any connecting information and decides to make it difficult for you and you'd need to leave on good terms. Maybe using the limited funds excuse or saying you got caught by a SO.

[HollywoodGuy]

As I am new to the sugar bowl and each aspect of this area evolves, I am encountering new "issues" here and there. The latest, my first SB, age 20, girl who has experienced life beyond what most girls her age have experienced. The Ex abusive boyfriend, a few bad boys, one kid at age 18 and so on. She views me as the first guy ever in her life who has treated her right and with respect, etc. (that's just in my nature I guess) so the other night she dumps on me that she is "falling' for me and wants a true relationship with me. Now this girl is super sweet and sensitive. She is a solid 7 in the looks department, with the girl next door thing going on. I came back with the excuse of our age differences and tried explaining we just both needed to enjoy each while the ride lasted. She got all sappy and starting crying and said she was really into me and such.

Now for some reason this scares the bee gees out of me as I'm sure you all can fill in some of the blanks. I like the girl and in another life, I might entertain and true relationship with her. She's the kind of girl that you might call a keeper. But this is just not going to happen. Any ideas how to let her down easy and escape any drama here?

Thanks!

I say offer her $ per visit. Tell her 8 visits a month to get aquainted for a couple months.

[JZLizard]

As I am new to the sugar bowl and each aspect of this area evolves, I am encountering new "issues" here and there. The latest, my first SB, age 20, girl who has experienced life beyond what most girls her age have experienced. The Ex abusive boyfriend, a few bad boys, one kid at age 18 and so on. She views me as the first guy ever in her life who has treated her right and with respect, etc. (that's just in my nature I guess) so the other night she dumps on me that she is "falling' for me and wants a true relationship with me. Now this girl is super sweet and sensitive. She is a solid 7 in the looks department, with the girl next door thing going on. I came back with the excuse of our age differences and tried explaining we just both needed to enjoy each while the ride lasted. She got all sappy and starting crying and said she was really into me and such.

Now for some reason this scares the bee gees out of me as I'm sure you all can fill in some of the blanks. I like the girl and in another life, I might entertain and true relationship with her. She's the kind of girl that you might call a keeper. But this is just not going to happen. Any ideas how to let her down easy and escape any drama here?

Thanks!

Tell her that your expectations for a "real" relationship are very different than SB / SD and that if things work out between you, you'd expect her to go dutch on everything including paying half the rent if she moves in with you. Sit back and enjoy the instant radio silence.

[DirtyDeeds38]

As I am new to the sugar bowl and each aspect of this area evolves, I am encountering new "issues" here and there. The latest, my first SB, age 20, girl who has experienced life beyond what most girls her age have experienced. The Ex abusive boyfriend, a few bad boys, one kid at age 18 and so on. She views me as the first guy ever in her life who has treated her right and with respect, etc. (that's just in my nature I guess) so the other night she dumps on me that she is "falling' for me and wants a true relationship with me. Now this girl is super sweet and sensitive. She is a solid 7 in the looks department, with the girl next door thing going on. I came back with the excuse of our age differences and tried explaining we just both needed to enjoy each while the ride lasted. She got all sappy and starting crying and said she was really into me and such.

Now for some reason this scares the bee gees out of me as I'm sure you all can fill in some of the blanks. I like the girl and in another life, I might entertain and true relationship with her. She's the kind of girl that you might call a keeper. But this is just not going to happen. Any ideas how to let her down easy and escape any drama here?

Thanks!

[FotoGuy1970]

Has anyone else experienced the beta of the new look and layout of SA? I absolutely hate it.

[FotoGuy1970]

Does it seem legit for a SB to never ask for a picture?

My first ever genuine SB did not send a picture (though to be fair, I didn't ask for one), nor did she ask for one of myself. But I was not at all disappointed with her.

On the other hand, as I have progressed in my sugar career, it has become a red flag if a SB does not ask for a picture or want to know any basic details about myself. I've passed on more than one girl who didn't feel the need to see a pic or ask for basic info about me.

[CaneBay]

I have been fishing on SDT and WYP sites. Current line up: VASB - 25 great communicator has 2 kids and a on / off live in BF. We meet once a week (sometimes more) for 3-5 hours in a hotel. Lots of fun and is in the #1 spot right now (SDT). KYSB / POT have met once, thought this was going to be a hit and quit, but she is turning out to be a great communicator and sending pics wanting a return. She is 33 two kids no SO. Will meet about 1 a month till I find something else in KY (WYP). CHATSB. Good for a low cost BJ - 19 only call for a call date while driving through (SDT). KNOXSB - 20 aaCB. Very low cost and lots of fun. Large rack, great with car dates. She is too close to my hometown to be seen out together. See about 1/ week (SDT). Meeting a new POT in Chatt tomorrow - 20 looks great (WYP). RodeoSB disappeared after 3 dates (WYP) ATLCBSB. After 4 dates she went way NANDO1 - I no longer call but wow she was really good in bed with great looks mixed race (SDT). PEACHESSB ATL - 21 CB, going through some issues not sure if she will stick around. Not into drama (WYP).

Still looking for a solid SB in Altanta area and Chatt area. Looks like I get about a 40% return rate after my contact email. Out of that 40% about 50% meet. 85% of meets end up in the FC. I pay around 100-200 per date plus cover all expenses when we are together. I travel with work so my hotel and meals are expensed most of the time. (two hotels in a day and I cover one of them.).

I spend 0 on SDT and about $50 every 4-6 weeks on WYP and stay as busy as I can. I try to have 2-3 FC visits a week. Because of my job and traveling I have a lot more freedom then some of you guys and can keep my costs down. Let me know if I can help anyone. A good idea for someone just getting started, try to find a mentor to bounce idea off of. Will save you a lot of headache!

[DirtyDeeds38]

First was a totally innocent 18 year old I had been communicating for weeks with online. She was the type always making excuses about exams, study and such, but somehow we always found each other texting again. Finally she agreed to meet and through a huge series of texts, she assured me, although "not tonight" she would be up for sex. We met for dinner, as I was hungry and I had a midnight meeting with a sure FC girl (more on that later) but I figured if the dinner date somehow lead to the FC I would forgo the other.

So this girl walks in, she's pretty, but a bit tall and very big boned for my taste. We meet at a steakhouse and she orders the most expense cut on the menu, some Rib-eye-Tbone cut. $48. WTF? As we talk, I knew right away she was not for me. She was picky about everything, but a nice girl. Physically not my type as well. She was not overweight, but she was a BIG framed girl, probably with a huge vava. LOL. We finished dinner and I start bringing up indicators about some action and first she tells me she is on her monthly, so I tell her we can kiss and fool around. ETC. So out comes another excuse about having to be to work at 5 am. Whatever, at this point I'm done, I have a midnight date with a bartender 80 miles away.

After dinner, she texts me asking why I did not offer her an allowance for coming out. I sat in my car and gave her a four page email about how this little hobby really works and set her straight. That kind of pissed me off. She was a total waist of time, monotone voice and personality, no flirting, all business, picky as fuck and excuse after excuse. She was hoping to get $300 for dinner. Grow up little girl and get a clue is all I could think.

So I drove the 80 mile drive to a girl I knew was not "innocent" We communicated for a week prior to meeting, sent photos and talked on the phone. Finally our schedules had aligned. Now this girl is really not what I would classify as a "SB" but she was to be an experience unlike any I had before. She was 28 and I tineyed her photos as I was sure there was no way they were real. I really had my doubts walking into the bar where we agreed to meet. During our communications, she indicated she was into bondage, dominating and also being submissive. She enjoyed all aspects of sex and play. She was soft spoken, well spoken and educated. She has a VERY dark and perverse side to her. It was hard for me to consider this given her soft, feminine and amazing model-like looks.

As I walked in the bar, I immediately spotted her. The girl was amazing. Dark hair, a face prettier than the last one I described who could not be any better, huge, upright tits with lots of cleavage in a black dress. Not a blemish on her milky white skin. I would say a solid 9 on a scale of 10. We sat and talked for two hours until the bar closed. We both were a bit drunk and stumbled to our hotel. Long story short, we had some serious intense sex. Some light biting, bondage from me to her and three rounds of fucking. When we first began playing, she spit in her hand and started giving me a HJ and got me rock hard. She looked up at me and said, "you want me to suck your cock don't you. " I grabbed the back of her hair and said, "yes I do" and she looked at me again and said, "If I do, I'll ruin head for you with ever other girl you're ever with" (it was that kind of communication between us) Well she went to work and she wasn't lying. I've never been given head the way she did. She used about every technique I've ever had in one ten minute round of oral. Gagging, deep throat and holding, spitting, you name it. So we had three rounds of sex, not mushy, passionate, movie scene sex, but "evil" intense, dark sex. Haha and I was good with it. A true kinky girl, into anything, with looks like hers, does not come along very often, so I went with it, even though she was not a true SB. It was a great night!

As for an allowance, I pushed her for week leading up to the event about how much and she kept saying it was entirely up to me. Even when we were leaving, she kept saying the same thing and even got bugged. She said whatever you want, or nothing at all. I gave her $ $ and she was quite happy with that.

[Expresso Jim]

I believe it was Big Tigger. Has been gone from this topic for about 6 months or so.

I feel bad about not remembering the name, but there was a fellow brother who recently left the hobby that had gotten a room as his dedicated FC.

I recall he got a room off CL and it was in a home owned by an elderly lady. She did not care what was done in the room as long as it stayed in the room and he took his SBs to it when the need came up.

[DirtyDeeds38]

I think if you're batting a 1. 000 for any extended period of time, you either have a real good strong game OR: 1) paying too much 2) dealing with serial SBs / utr / pros 3) have been getting real lucky.

In my past days working sales, if ALL my bids / estimates were converting into signed contracts then I had to take a good honest look as to why and how.

Ok, to clarify, I went to the FC with the first seven girls who were willing to meet me. Overall, after last night, I'm batting 8 of 11. And as someone who is just recently a retired P4 P monger of probably 15 years and over 800 working girls, I know a pro from 800,000 miles away, they cannot hide it from me. Three of the 8, out of 11 I've met in person, I took to the FC were older than age 30, so that's a different league I think. Of the girls under age 25, I've only landed three. The other two were between 25-30 in age

I'm doing a second report here on yesterday's actions, it was the wildest night of all. And I'm in need of a week off from this as I feel the addiction aspects of this setting in heavy and a loss of control. Too many women, too many exciting experiences are grabbing me by the balls and I need to slow my pace. .

Last nights report to follow.

[JZLizard]

Thanks for the good responses to my previous post. Now one more question for the wise men of this thread. Does it seem legit for a SB to never ask for a picture?

Not in my opinion. A true SB will ask for a photos and screen you with the same techniques as if she were screening a potential boyfriend, but with a slightly different standard (I. E. Many won't care if you're married, won't care if you're twice or more her age, etc).

If they don't ask for pics, at least at some point I'd have to guess they're a pro / utr. Maybe there are some out there who are okay with meeting for lunch first or whatever? But if they start talking sex and have no idea what you look like, she's an escort.

[Norm Gerd]

Thanks for the good responses to my previous post. Now one more question for the wise men of this thread. Does it seem legit for a SB to never ask for a picture? I don't have one on any profile of mine, and I recently have begun corresponding with two POTs who have not yet asked for a picture. POT1 is very enthusiastic, and sent me her number to begin texting. Checking her number read directly to her real personal info, and she is definitely who her profile says she is. A college student. Which does not rule out her being a semi-pro or utr. But she is apparently in a relationship, and is also maybe a year younger than her profile says (which means really 20 not 21). POT2, 23 year old, looks smoking hot in the picture on her profile, and also seems very enthusiastic about meeting. However, she does not want to text until we have met (a different red flag. Makes me think I might get stood up, although she is a premium member of SD4M so not sure why she would spend the money just to play games).

Now I do have to say this happened once before many years ago when I first dabbled in SD / sb. The sb was a little scatterbrained, and I think she just forgot to ask for a pic. When she showed up she let out a little "whew" and said something like "thank goodness you're cute". Took me a while to bang her, but wow she was smoking hot, with a rocking bod. Sadly, she always seemed to have bad breath! LOL. She was late 20's though. My recent experience with the late teens early 20's' ladies is they ALWAYS want a pic. Curious as to everyone's thoughts on these two not asking for one.

Norm!

P.S. The 18 year old (and I think still in HS) POT has gone radio silent. Probably for the best.

[John G Smith]

Question for the group.

Would you pay a premium for a fuck pad over a Hotel? How much would you pay per use? Obvious advantages would be complete anonymity without check in, record keeping. Etc.

Occupancy would be by the minute / day / hour, whatever is needed. The lease holder could possibly make some money on a deal such as this.

I think once your hotel costs hit around 800-1000 per month and your SBs are mostly local, then it's probably a good idea to consider a Sugar Pad. The idea has been brought up here before but the problem often brought up is that you're leaving a pretty strong paper trail with the lease and credit report. You'll probably also need to spend some additional money just to furnish it modestly because a bare empty apartment doesn't exactly project "sugar daddy". Then you also have to avoid the temptation of letting a SB stay there temporarily because it may prove very difficult getting her out of there and you can't always monitor her behavior. And finally you're dealing with a fixed cost in a potentially year-long lease. Regardless of how your financials fluctuate or your luck with SBs in a given month, you'll have to pay the Apt rent.

And if you're sharing an apartment with several other SDs, you run the danger of drawing too much attention. Neighbors or the Super may think something is up if they see 3-4 different old men constantly bringing many different young women to the apartment every few days. It could draw the wrong attention. Plus if one guy screws up or has a psycho stalking the apartment, then it could ruin it and possibly expose it for everyone involved. IMO, it's probably best to keep a Sugar Pad a private individual enterprise.

[HollywoodGuy]

I think if you're batting a 1. 000 for any extended period of time, you either have a real good strong game OR: 1) paying too much 2) dealing with serial SBs / utr / pros 3) have been getting real lucky.

In my past days working sales, if ALL my bids / estimates were converting into signed contracts then I had to take a good honest look as to why and how.

Its a good confidence builder to start with some utr's. Once you get enough of them and hopefully a couple of real NP's along the way, your game is just naturally going to go up. I still love utr's in the mix while I am waiting for the next best thing. A hot and needy little 19 year old trying to act tough.

[John G Smith]

The way I see there are three levels of escape to allow hobby participation.

The first is a quick visit, usually with an easy excuse being suffice, allowing you to escape the clutches for a few hours. During this time, you might be running a few errands, or sneaking out, etc.

The second would be for an overnight, with or without cell phone contact and expected contact from the SO. If she checks in and expects a response, you are given leeway for time to respond back. Preferably 2-4 hours later, without setting off suspicions. Ideas for this?

The third level and probably most preferred, would be 1-3 nights away, with no expectation of contact from the SO. Meaning you get away for more then a day, without any suspicions from the SO when you don't check in, text back or answer the damn phone for more then an entire 24 hour period. I find this damn near impossible, but if other members might have some creative ideas, perhaps it is achievable. I mean even if you suddenly became an astronaut and were on a mission to Mars, she is likely still going to expect contact.

Now when I was married, I engage in all three, but not without huge fallout and serious fighting and explaining AFTER the fact. Trust me brothers, this method does not work. You need a convincing plan going in.

So lets share some ideas that you may have used in the past?

With my present circumstances, I wouldn't even attempt Level 3, LOL. Level 2 is possible, but very tricky. So I mostly stick to Level 1 Escapes these days.

Level 2 Escapes.

I attempted these more often earlier in my sugar career. You can say you're going to visit an old friend for a day or two. Preferably a friend who has no social media presence and someone your SO will never bump into. The escape plan is okay, but the problem is it could fall apart pretty easily if your SO decides to do some digging or asks for some verification or proof of your outing with your friend. I've used this escape plan a few times, mainly because I successfully put in place a rule that when my SO is with her friends, I don't text / call her. And when I'm with my friends, she doesn't text / call me. So it's like our mini-vacations from each other and it's what made this escape plan possible for me. But like I said, I haven't done it much lately because it became harder to remember all the stories I had to recreate for weekend long activities and I couldn't give concrete proof if the SO ever asked. So I'm in search of developing another escape plan for Level 2 that has less holes and weak points. If I could somehow incorporate regular business trips into my small business that would be ideal.

Level 1 Escapes.

These are the easiest for me and so far all my escapes this year have been level 1. During the work day I'm regularly out of contact for several hours. Also using the gym is another great way to extend "off-the-grid" time, particularly in the evening hours. I never bring my phone inside the gym, so it's not expected for me to answer calls / texts in there. The great thing about Level 1 Escapes, the great majority of the time the SO doesn't even know you were gone. She could think it's just a normal day you went to work and then the gym when in actuality you were banging a hot 20 year-old college coed at a nearby hotel. Also since I'm more less still in my local area, if there is an emergency, I can still get back in a reasonable amount of time without setting off alarms. I also randomly do errands and never do anything entirely on a fixed routine schedule. By making little random events normal which you can verify, then it's easier to explain small "off-the-grid" time if the SO gets curious.

I realize some guys here live in areas where SBs are pretty spread out and it requires driving several hours. But I just don't like driving more than 45 minutes to see a SB. From a car accident to heavy traffic, too many unexpected things can happen which can make things very difficult for you. If you have car trouble 2 hours away from home when you were suppose to be just 30 minutes way, then you're going to have big problems explaining the situation to the SO. It's why I generally try to stay within a 30 mile radius of where I'm suppose to be whether it's home or away. So if the unexpected happens, it's still somewhat explainable without raising serious flags.