"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[John G Smith]

Pot #2 sent me some pics today using GV. I had the option selected to forward texts to email and it did and I could view the pics there. Downside was I got 50 emails (one for each text she sent me during a long conversation.

Sprint and a few other carriers are slowly supporting GV MMS. So if your SB uses Sprint, she'll be able to send you pictures directly to your GV number and it will appear as an email attachment to your associated gmail address. But otherwise, yes you have to tell them to email the pictures instead. It does make things cumbersome sometimes and trying to explain why your phone can't accept pictures. But on the other hand if you're using a burner phone, it's also not wise to keep suggestive pics of girls on your phone lest your SO discovers your burner. So I prefer to keep my phones pic-free and always have the pics flow-through anonymous email.

As for texting with GV, if you're near a computer, just use the GV website to text. It's much faster than using a phone and probably will draw less attention. Obviously just don't leave the browser window open if you walk away.

[Dsprdo]

The biggest issue with GV is that you can't send or receive pics. So many want to send pics thru text instead of email.

Pot #2 sent me some pics today using GV. I had the option selected to forward texts to email and it did and I could view the pics there. Downside was I got 50 emails (one for each text she sent me during a long conversation.

[Spitfire]

I've been on SA for about a week now and am making some progress. I am away from my home turf for a few months for work, so my original purpose was to see if I could find a SB here for a short term arrangement. I put 10-12 lines in the water. I have a couple of nibbles that may not turn out to be anything. However I have two good leads that I hope are going to work out.

Pot #1 I mentioned in another post is a 33 year old MILF, divorced and lonely. She was seemingly unfamiliar with the whole SD / SB relationship, and in my first contact told me she was canceling her profile, but did give me her email address. In her first email she ased me what I was looking for on the site and I sent back a polite thoughtful note about wanting to meet someone and enjoy there company, even if it was not a traditional relationship. Whatever I said struck a chord. We emailed back and forth a few times and then I gave her my number. We have been texting daily and are set to meet Tuesday evening. I originally thought that I was just flirting with her and this would go nowhere, but based on the temperature of a few of her texts, I am up to over 60% confidence. I will keep you posted.

Pot #2 is actually from my home area and contacted me first. I wasn't going to start looking for anyone there until I was closer to the end of this project and ready to go home, but I responded to her. She is a 27 year old AA hardbody, employed, graduate degree. Again, slow start via email and then when I gave her a number to text, it has taken off. We have had long conversations about interests, philosophy, travel and the nature of these relationships. AA is not my usual choice, but I am intrigued as she is beautiful and seems very smart. We have agreed to meet for drinks when I get home. I think that if we click and if the allowance expectations are not unreasonable, she is 80% in the bag and could be a keeper. My only worry is that she may turn out to be afflicted with GPS, as she is obviously bright. We haven't touched on finance yet. Won't be able to close the deal on this one for a couple of months.

My key observation from these two ladies of this is that use of texting is vital. I think in the future I am going to implement a suggestion I saw here earlier and just include the number on the second or third email. I have always had a burner phone, just setup a google voice number. I like the ability to use my smartphone, a little uneasy with the fact that in google's server my actual phone number is linked to my new play number. The anonymity of the burner phone is nice. Texting through GV is also a little slower than normal. I am going to experiment with this, haven't decided if I will stick with GV or not.

The biggest issue with GV is that you can't send or receive pics. So many want to send pics thru text instead of email.

[Dsprdo]

I've been on SA for about a week now and am making some progress. I am away from my home turf for a few months for work, so my original purpose was to see if I could find a SB here for a short term arrangement. I put 10-12 lines in the water. I have a couple of nibbles that may not turn out to be anything. However I have two good leads that I hope are going to work out.

Pot #1 I mentioned in another post is a 33 year old MILF, divorced and lonely. She was seemingly unfamiliar with the whole SD / SB relationship, and in my first contact told me she was canceling her profile, but did give me her email address. In her first email she ased me what I was looking for on the site and I sent back a polite thoughtful note about wanting to meet someone and enjoy there company, even if it was not a traditional relationship. Whatever I said struck a chord. We emailed back and forth a few times and then I gave her my number. We have been texting daily and are set to meet Tuesday evening. I originally thought that I was just flirting with her and this would go nowhere, but based on the temperature of a few of her texts, I am up to over 60% confidence. I will keep you posted.

Pot #2 is actually from my home area and contacted me first. I wasn't going to start looking for anyone there until I was closer to the end of this project and ready to go home, but I responded to her. She is a 27 year old AA hardbody, employed, graduate degree. Again, slow start via email and then when I gave her a number to text, it has taken off. We have had long conversations about interests, philosophy, travel and the nature of these relationships. AA is not my usual choice, but I am intrigued as she is beautiful and seems very smart. We have agreed to meet for drinks when I get home. I think that if we click and if the allowance expectations are not unreasonable, she is 80% in the bag and could be a keeper. My only worry is that she may turn out to be afflicted with GPS, as she is obviously bright. We haven't touched on finance yet. Won't be able to close the deal on this one for a couple of months.

My key observation from these two ladies of this is that use of texting is vital. I think in the future I am going to implement a suggestion I saw here earlier and just include the number on the second or third email. I have always had a burner phone, just setup a google voice number. I like the ability to use my smartphone, a little uneasy with the fact that in google's server my actual phone number is linked to my new play number. The anonymity of the burner phone is nice. Texting through GV is also a little slower than normal. I am going to experiment with this, haven't decided if I will stick with GV or not.

[F Scott]

Sometimes I wonder if the hobby isn't a way for frustrated spies to live out the excitement of maintaining a double identity and carrying out secret missions.

Bunk,

I often think this as well. It adds to the thrill of it all. Well, that, and the sex with 20 somethings!

Scott

[BigTigger]

I was in her area the other morning. I got a room and called her up on her way to work. Told her the hotel and room number and said I'm here waiting for you. She seemed caught off guard for a second, then got herself together. She took a detour on the way to work at was at the room in 20 minutes. When she walked in, I was sitting on the chair completely naked. She laughed and said "you ok", I said,"yep, just waiting on you". As she walked over to give me a kiss, I guided her face between my legs and she was off to the races.

So here she is, in her business attire, fresh out of the shower, on her knees slobbing away. Before it was over, we did multiple positions on multiple pieces of furniture. I pretty much man-handled her the entire time. This was a bit of a departure from our first few times together. She came 3 times in less than 40 minutes. We rested, she showered, took some calls and headed in to work with a smile on her face and with her legs still trembling some. She called me later and just raved at how she loves a man that knows what he wants and takes charge. The more I led her around, gave her instruction the wetter she got. Not quite Dom / Sub, just a woman who like an assertive man.

Next time we met she had a gift for me that cost almost $300. Wow, I was impressed and still marveling at my luck. Again, I have no idea how she ended up on a SD site, but I'm glad I found her.

We are averaging once a week and we are scheduled for 2 overnights next week. I'm paying for 1/2 and she's paying for 1/2.

BigTigg.

Good report, hold on to her as long as you can, I've had a few over the years that fit this description that I bailed on after awhile for one reason or another. Though they didn't come from / through the sugar world, in your case as long as she doesn't try to put you on "boyfriend / faithful / exclusive" status ride it as long as you can, haha.

[BigTigger]

Took the words out of my mouth.

My $.02, can't speak for Tig. An app appears on your phone, anyone can click on it and see your mail as the app typically stores your password (or at the very least you get asked "why do you have a mail app I've never heard of on your phone")?

Also. Be careful with having your phone or computer auto-save passwords. If she sees a. Dotwhatever email address and goes to that site and your username / password are already auto-filled, you are toast.

And for you apple iPhone users, be careful about software upgrades and iMessage if you text on your iPhone (even if its to bs with your buddies, not talk to a SM). Sometimes those upgrades will automatically turn on iMessage, then anyone on your apple I'd can see your texts.

[Bunker Buster]

I've posted about this before, but now seems like a good time to re-cap. Here's what I have done, in terms of a secret identity:

So far, in three years, the above has served me well. I fully recognize that I, myself, am the weak link in this whole chain, so I try to follow my "procedures" with absolute rigor. There have been some noteable, and blood-freezing lapses on my part, however. An unused condom in my dop kit when I've come back from a road trip; leaving my batphone in my coat pocket, turned on! ; leaving a list of contacted babies on a slip of paper on my dresser (fortunately my dresser is covered with slips of paper, but still, yikes). The only baby who, I think, knew my real identity was my former ATF, and honestly at that point I think I may have wanted to get caught, so we could finally spend our lives together for ever and ever like I knew we both wanted LOL! Well, we all know where that ended up. My brothers, try not to lose touch with reality, even though you may desire the fantasy. The Bowl, for most of us, is make-believe, with both parties agreeing to play their respective parts.

As has been said many times, never, ever, ever reveal your true self. There will only be tears and heartache ahead. Rather, fully understand that there are two of you, the Sugar you, and the IRL you, and the two should never meet, nor ever know the other one exists. You need to be able to vanish at a moment's notice.

Peace,

Scott

And what undercover operatives do. The compartments, deceptions, and protocols are identical. Sometimes I wonder if the hobby isn't a way for frustrated spies to live out the excitement of maintaining a double identity and carrying out secret missions.

[FredMoore]

PF HCB

Is gone. She was not loving, romantic, or a good sex provider so it is all for the best. She was a sure thing though.

3 Pots

SDFM #1 GPS fired. Too pecuniary talking about money for gas, for sitters, and for pussy. A Nando 1.

SDFM #2 flaked M&G earlier this week. Young HCG 7/7/8 very doable, super loving personality. Never called back in spite of reassuring words and actions. Go figure? I guess she is out for free meals. Why feed me a line of BS after the meal if I wasn't her type?

SA #1 M&G today 9/9/7 AA HCB She is a SB virgin and was very nervous. She had plans with her friends after a midafternoon meet and said she might call for later. We will see. She is very hot! I hope she works out but I give it a 30 % chance of a call back.

SA Pot #2 I texted back and forth. She is interested but is a polyamorist. She has a live_in with an open relationship and is seeking another couple of guys. She said she doesn't believe in Monogamy. If I wanted a prostitute I would get one.

Speaking of : I saw one of my favorite working girls for some maintenance and it was lovely. I think I might go back to my old standard.

AM #1 Is fading. She lives too far away and has an incredibly impossible schedule for the two of us.

And finally,

AM #2 Is fading as well for the same reasons.

So unless this AA HCG gives me a call back I am back to the drawing board.

[CantWinLosin]

I'll be around here, tho' I don't really see me playing in the bowl again. I'm too much of a hound to ever stop the occasional casual escort hookup, but I'm pretty thoroughly convinced that trying to do the ongoing sugar engagement while in a committed relationship is, for me, too fraught with peril. It really does require a level of commitment to security that I'm not confident I can maintain on a daily basis. If the lady in my life wasn't both sexy and highly sexual, I might look at it differently.

This game we all play isn't binary, and it isn't zero-sum. The reasons we do it, what things we're comfortable with and the levels to which we each will go to participate are a constantly-changing continuum. Simply, the LOE / ROI calculation has changed for me. But if the shit hits the fan, I'll probably be back.

[Literal2]

I've posted about this before, but now seems like a good time to re-cap. Here's what I have done, in terms of a secret identity:

1. I use a cheap burner phone paid for with cash, minutes added via cash. Untraceable, I believe. Tigg's comment about ease of texting is a good one, I have to admit. Mine is a flip phone, and so texting is laborious, but with the young babies, it is critical. I stash it in the same place every time, except for when I forget, and then I am panicked until I can find it again. This is my one weak spot. Oh well.

2. I have a dedicated Sugar email, with an address that is a play on my SA name, so it seems legit. Needless to say, neither is even remotely close to my real name.

3. I created a facebook profile, with no photo, that contains both my burner phone # and my Sugar email, so if the babies google either one, they will get an FB profile that is only what I want them to see. Most of the details are really me, so I don't have to remember every little thing, but they are also true of thousands of other dudes out there, so no possibility of tracking the Real Me down. Funny thing about FB, once I posted my fake profile there, I started getting friend requests from people I didn't know, and who clearly didn't know me, since I didn't exist. I accepted them all, thereby adding layers of "truth" to my fake page. Also, I friend-requested my email contacts from my Sugar email, and a surprising number of them accepted, thereby increasing the "legit" look of my profile. Crazy, huh? It is heavily weighted towards 20-something females, however. Would some of you like to friend me to even the balance?

4. I send out a picture if requested, but it is one that I took myself with my iphone, and I only use it as a Sugar photo, so it can't be googled back to anywhere else. It astonishes me how many babies use pics that can be found elsewhere, thus revealing their real names, identities, etc.

5. I always pay cash, unless I am booking a room on the web, in which case I use prepaid gift cards purchased through my bank, Chase, which I buy with cash as well. I guess there is a trail through the bank that would ferret me out if my SO instigated divorce proceedings, but for the average baby, there is no way to find the Real Me here.

6. I keep a clean car, with no receipts, registration or anything else that has my name on it anywhere accessible. I have it all in the wheel well in the back.

7. I describe my work as something close to what I actually do, so that I can chat about it with some kind of intelligence, but not so close that I could be googled.

So far, in three years, the above has served me well. I fully recognize that I, myself, am the weak link in this whole chain, so I try to follow my "procedures" with absolute rigor. There have been some noteable, and blood-freezing lapses on my part, however. An unused condom in my dop kit when I've come back from a road trip; leaving my batphone in my coat pocket, turned on! ; leaving a list of contacted babies on a slip of paper on my dresser (fortunately my dresser is covered with slips of paper, but still, yikes). The only baby who, I think, knew my real identity was my former ATF, and honestly at that point I think I may have wanted to get caught, so we could finally spend our lives together for ever and ever like I knew we both wanted LOL! Well, we all know where that ended up. My brothers, try not to lose touch with reality, even though you may desire the fantasy. The Bowl, for most of us, is make-believe, with both parties agreeing to play their respective parts.

I think this covers it for me, but if I remember any more tactics, I will post.

Keep up the good work,

Scott.

PS. When ordering coffees at an M&G at Starbucks, for example, I always give my Sugar name, since they call it out when your order is done, or when making a reservation at a restaurant. It took several times for my "name" to roll off my tongue with anything resembling ease, but now I can do it in my sleep. Think of yourselves as a spy under deep cover in a foreign land where they will shoot you if discovered. The essence of it, I guess, is that if you can establish a compartment in your mind where you can live and operate normally while under cover, it will be easier. I had to smile while watching the movie "Argo". It had so many parallels to my own life in the Bowl. As has been said many times, never, ever, ever reveal your true self. There will only be tears and heartache ahead. Rather, fully understand that there are two of you, the Sugar you, and the IRL you, and the two should never meet, nor ever know the other one exists. You need to be able to vanish at a moment's notice.

Peace,

Scott

This is very useful. Thanks.

[Member #4103]

Tig, what's the downfall of using an app to check email?

Also, for email, I suggest using hushmail or gmail. Yahoo mail is too easy to track a location using the IP address in the header.

My $.02, can't speak for Tig. An app appears on your phone, anyone can click on it and see your mail as the app typically stores your password (or at the very least you get asked "why do you have a mail app I've never heard of on your phone")?

Also. Be careful with having your phone or computer auto-save passwords. If she sees a. Dotwhatever email address and goes to that site and your username / password are already auto-filled, you are toast.

And for you apple iPhone users, be careful about software upgrades and iMessage if you text on your iPhone (even if its to bs with your buddies, not talk to a SM). Sometimes those upgrades will automatically turn on iMessage, then anyone on your apple I'd can see your texts.

[Spitfire]

Create a email, name that sounds real and buy a prepaid phone that you only use for this hobby. Get one that you can text easily with, don't go too cheap. Only use the email for these type of activities. Never use an app to check your email, always login via the web.

BigTigg.

Tig, what's the downfall of using an app to check email?

Also, for email, I suggest using hushmail or gmail. Yahoo mail is too easy to track a location using the IP address in the header.

[Literal2]

I agree with John G that GV is the way to go.

I've switched to GV from a burner phone with different sim cards. As it happens, after years of artful (I thought) hiding the burner, the drawer where I kept it was searched by the warden for unrelated reasons."Look what I found," she said, burner in hand. Since the device had made legit appearances on a couple of foreign trips several years ago, its discovery didn't set off any alarms. I kept the secret second sim card somewhere else so I retrieved it and cut it up. The event made my blood run cold for a few minutes.

Re Cantwin's dilemma. If it were me, I think I'd claim a security breach / hack / virus requires a change of phone # and email and just trash the old stuff. Or maybe a buried encrypted file for the old stuff.

[Hernando]

Congrats Cantwin.

It sounds like you can win after all. Relationships are so great, until they're not. Don't throw away your web contacts, you never know when you might need them again.

Perhaps you should share a smidgeon of your singles carousing with her so that any reemergence of unwanted attention would not be so hard to explain.

Best of luck! Will you be leaving the gang here?