"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Mr Strict]

I think you're overestimating the degree of willingness to strive for as much as they can get among those in that segment of the male population that do this sort of thing. Sure, most may hope for more than arm-candy, but many of them don't have the confidence, or risk tolerance, to pursue more. I don't want to harp on strip clubs, but I've watched a lot of customers in those clubs pay a lot of money to do nothing but sit and talk with these women, including women who I know from direct experience are willing to do a lot more than talk. These same men will often either become upset at the suggestion that their favorite girl is a thinly disguised prostitute, or be unwilling to take the next step in availing themselves of those services for a number of reasons, whether that be fear of spousal reprisal, contracting disease, law enforcement, social stigmata, etc.

The set of men who go to strip clubs for sex is not, in my experience, very representative of the set of men who go to strip clubs regularly. It seems well within the realm of possibility, not far-fetched at all, that the same factor applies to sugar daddies.

/z

Possibly, but I don't think so. I just think the strip club experience is a much different animal when compared to the sd / sb experience. I feel that it is a different type of need that is being fulfilled at the club that has little to do with actually having sex with the strippers. Using myself as an example, and I admit I did not frequent the clubs on a regular basis, I never had the desire, past the fantasy stage, to bed a stripper. And it wasn't for fear of rejection or for any social or legal issues. I just didn't feel the need. The club for me was a place to hang with the guys, drink, smoke, talk shit and have a great time while looking at naked women. Nothing more. Now, if little Miss Fuck-Me-Pumps asked me into the back room for some nasty time, I would go in a heart beat. But look for it? No.

And I can't imagine anybody putting in the time and effort it takes to meet a decent pool of potential sb's and then pay cash, in some cases a huge amount, to just "hang out". There are anomalies in every group and I think these guys are the anomalies in the sd pool. And, IMO, are very few and very far between. But a girl can dream, I guess.

Thanks Mr. Z for your thoughts. I always enjoy reading your posts. As always, this is just my opinion and counts for no more or no less than anyone else.

Stay Safe.

Strict

[FeelGoodMd]

I just start this SD hobby. I was trying out craglist which is all bot and no ready lady. Was wondering if anyone would like to help me out where to look for a good SB. Thank you ahead of time.

Majest,

Welcome to the Bowl. What I (and many of the other members of this site, I'm sure) did was start here (

http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/sh...or-Not/page150

And read forward. You will get a lot of great information, inspiration, and entertainment (often simultaneously, for that matter).

That's my prescription for the newbie in the Bowl.

Dr. Feelgood

[Majest]

I just start this SD hobby. I was trying out craglist which is all bot and no ready lady. Was wondering if anyone would like to help me out where to look for a good SB. Thank you ahead of time.

[HollywoodGuy]

After having interviewed hundreds of girls on the sugar daddy sites. All the girls agree on one thing. The direct approach is always best. Tell the girl exactly what it is you are looking for and exactly how much you are willing to pay. I get turned down a lot as I am on a tight budget. But after years of doing this I also have a few regulars and see about one random girl a week.

Most girls on a sugar daddy site don't really know what they want other than they want to have good chemistry for what ever it is they consider fair compensation. And this is where really talking to a lot of girls pays off. On the one extreme you have average looking girls asking for way too much. And on the other you have beautiful looking girls willing to take far less if you can show them a good time in bed, show some patience and understanding, and can offer some good conversation and advice.

There is also a contingent of girls under 25 that only want men over 50. Sometimes its more of a sexual fantasy and sometimes its more for the stability and maturity only an older guy can offer. Sorry, but most guys under 35 don't think the same as someone over lets say 55. I never would have imagined that I would be at the peak of my desirability at 58.

All I know is the demand from the girls far outstrips the supply of what I have to offer. Oh poor me. LOL. Once the girls have been out in the sugar world for any length of time they realize the odds are against them as there is so much competition. Part of that is living in los angeles. Where every decent looking girl in the world moves thinking they are going to break into hollywood one way or another.

But conversely in the more out of the way places its almost worse for the girls as the number of sugar daddies is much more far and in between. All I know is that neither the guys nor the girls need to settle for what they don't really want as there is ample enough supply on both sides. If you put in the time. To make everyone happy.

Typically they all have one friend that introduces them to this or they saw a show on tyra or where ever. And some do come straight out of the box and get lucky. But most do not. So if you are a good guy, are willing to be a little patient and not bs these girls too much. You will eventually find what you are looking for and for the amount you can afford.

[Zomby]

I fixed that for you. A legitimate goal? Sure. A realistic goal? Not so much. I would classify this with finding Bigfoot:"We are pretty sure he's real because we've read about him on the internet". These POTs are lazy and looking to be paid for hanging around and breathing, nothing more. And isn't "a compensated non-sexual relationship" called marriage?

I think you're overestimating the degree of willingness to strive for as much as they can get among those in that segment of the male population that do this sort of thing. Sure, most may hope for more than arm-candy, but many of them don't have the confidence, or risk tolerance, to pursue more. I don't want to harp on strip clubs, but I've watched a lot of customers in those clubs pay a lot of money to do nothing but sit and talk with these women, including women who I know from direct experience are willing to do a lot more than talk. These same men will often either become upset at the suggestion that their favorite girl is a thinly disguised prostitute, or be unwilling to take the next step in availing themselves of those services for a number of reasons, whether that be fear of spousal reprisal, contracting disease, law enforcement, social stigmata, etc.

The set of men who go to strip clubs for sex is not, in my experience, very representative of the set of men who go to strip clubs regularly. It seems well within the realm of possibility, not far-fetched at all, that the same factor applies to sugar daddies.

/z

[Hercules78]

I have been reading this forum, joined the site and already had 2 back at my apartment. Both 25 years and model quality. Damage was $$ and $$$ for each. Vey hot women, both gave bbbjcimws and spent 4-5 hrs. I'm really happy with the progress so far. Have two dates lined up today.

[Hernando]

'you're talking about borderline, if not outright, illegal stuff. you just don't talk except face to face, and often, after both are already naked. (:'

zomby brought up a good point that frequently is the elephant in the room. those of us have enjoyed the escort side have overtly flirted with danger risking fame, fortune, and reputation in the event of a sting. one of the many things i like about sd life is the relative safety from le attention. many of our membership have suggested ways to couch the need we have for sex in return for sugar."intimate time together " tops the list, so something needs to be said ahead of time to serve notice to the interviewee that we mean business so that we don't waste time and energy. le would have to be motivated to set up a sting to catch sugar daddies in action and i don't see this being on the radar. they seem to sting high volume pros like sws or escorts in a hotel room where multiple johns can be netted at one time. we do need to be aware of the **** sting which le will pursue one john. i'm sure none of us would knowingly pursue an admitted **** girl but i think many of the 18 to 21 yr olds could be lying about their age to get in the game. so we should check ids in any iffy situation.

sa i browsed sa in dc and there are boat loads of gps girls. does anyone know of guys who pay $5000 plus? i'm working a 19 yr old now who wants $600 / visit and i had to give her a lecture. she is just an escort unfortunately because she is really cute. i told her to be an escort, get a website and charge $250 a pop and she could probably make 2000 / day. but don't pretend to be a sb.

[Mr Strict]

I don't think it's completely fair to say that everyone's time is wasted. It absolutely is a waste of your time, and would be of mine if I was yet in search mode on this one. However, a compensated non-sexual relationship is certainly a legitimate goal, and there is a guy out there who wants exactly that, however ludicrous most, if not all, the posters on this particular forum would find such a thing.

I fixed that for you. A legitimate goal? Sure. A realistic goal? Not so much. I would classify this with finding Bigfoot:"We are pretty sure he's real because we've read about him on the internet". These POTs are lazy and looking to be paid for hanging around and breathing, nothing more. And isn't "a compensated non-sexual relationship" called marriage?

I do suspect, though not of experience in the Sugar Bowl, that M&Gs are, at some stage, a necessary component of verifying a POT's intentions with any certainty. Others might feel differently, I believe John G Smith does, but since what most of us want is essentially illegal in most places in this country, setting forth conditions in email, text, or even over the phone seems like a somewhat less than prudent course of action. Hell, even after all this time, my SB and I don't mention sex or money in our texts, though we do sometimes do some sexy talk on the phone. In my case, this is a holdover from dealing with strippers, but I think it applies in any area where you're talking about borderline, if not outright, illegal stuff. You just don't talk except face to face, and often, after both are already naked. (:

Verifying a POT's intentions and looks! How often has someone reported on the forum that the potential sb shows up 20 lbs heavier or 10 years older that the pic's she sends? The small blond 19 yo country girl turns out to be the chunky. 27 yo black haired goth."I just haven't updated my pic's lately." IMO, one can only go so far with text, email and phone calls. M&G's have there place. I personally want a face-to-face confirmation before moving forward and if all it costs me is the price of a drink or coffee, small price to pay. And who wants to be front page news when LE decides that this is the next big crime wave they must stop. Especially during the election season.

The 43 yr old profile is especially funny, and I doubt she will get much response to such an ad. I don't know what she is thinking and maybe she could have gotten away with a profile like that 20 yrs ago, but I really doubt it now.

I was around 20 yrs ago. That ad won't work now, wouldn't have work then and would never work! Jesus would have thought she was a total cvnt!

Stay Safe.

Strict

[Zomby]

P. S. I have broken my own rules and become E involved with my ATF. I will now stand and take my grade.

I don't think it's possible to avoid this over the long haul. Human males seem to be hardwired to morph sexual attraction into a certain affection, at the very least, over time. It's not something over which you can exert much in the way of conscious control. The best you can do is be careful about paying attention to the signs that it's happening.

After three years, I'm not even going to pretend that there's not a fairly significant degree of affection on my part for my SB. Is it love? If anyone has ever successfully defined that emotion, let me know. I'm sure some would call it that. I'm certainly not going to leave my wife for her, but there's quite a bit else I would do.

As for the other direction, I'm sure there's some, but she doesn't let it get in her way. (: Women don't seem to suffer from this problem to the same degree as men. (:

Though I'd be interested in hearing what the resident sugar baby has to offer on that issue.

/z

[Zomby]

Bear in mind that these comments are from one who's experience in this is limited to one person, albeit over a longer period of time. So take that for what it's worth.

When they start the "I'm seeking something non-sexual" line, I've learned to tell them politely but directly that they don't grasp how this works, they're wasting my and every other SD's time and to find some other way to try to make money. They seldom seem to get the hint, but let's face it. There's a certain level of selfishness in everyone who does this on both sides of the sexual divide, so it's to be expected.

I don't think it's completely fair to say that everyone's time is wasted. It absolutely is a waste of your time, and would be of mine if I was yet in search mode on this one. However, a compensated non-sexual relationship is certainly a legitimate goal, and there are guys out there who want exactly that, however ludicrous most, if not all, the posters on this particular forum would find such a thing.

SubCmdr has some good guidelines in his response to this one; if the significant sugar doesn't flow until her sugar flows, it's less likely that these "platonic" types will take you for more than, as he suggests, coffee or drinks.

I do suspect, though not of experience in the Sugar Bowl, that M&Gs are, at some stage, a necessary component of verifying a POT's intentions with any certainty. Others might feel differently, I believe John G Smith does, but since what most of us want is essentially illegal in most places in this country, setting forth conditions in email, text, or even over the phone seems like a somewhat less than prudent course of action. Hell, even after all this time, my SB and I don't mention sex or money in our texts, though we do sometimes do some sexy talk on the phone. In my case, this is a holdover from dealing with strippers, but I think it applies in any area where you're talking about borderline, if not outright, illegal stuff. You just don't talk except face to face, and often, after both are already naked. (:

/z

[Dog Rice]

Woow. 40+ GPS.

I experienced 3 40+ GPS. Not sure what they are thinking. One of them requested me to provide my work information before M&G because she does not feel safe.

[ILikeHotWomen]

Did these "babies" have the same profiles before you met up with them? All the "friendship" first, but I still want cash sounds like they are trying to tease and get paid, which I have to admit is smart on their part in getting more $$ out of people. It does seem like a lot of them give the impression that you are going to have to pay awhile first before you get anything. The 43 yr old profile is especially funny, and I doubt she will get much response to such an ad. I don't know what she is thinking and maybe she could have gotten away with a profile like that 20 yrs ago, but I really doubt it now. As for the sb profile I have for entertainment / educational purposes, I have now had about 40 emails, mostly from married types, and nothing out of the expected except for the one I posted earlier.

Having been burned by several of these "no sex" types, I've learned to read the signs a bit.

Lately, any girl under 25 or so seems to be a candidate; the word seems to have gotten out on the areas where young women congregate that they can find men willing to pay them just to be arm candy. Any girl that talks about "just having fun" is somewhat suspect. A lot of these youngsters define "fun" as clubbing / dancing / out-on-the-town, and don't grasp that (at least here) there's generally more stigma than benefit in a 50-something guy being seen by his peers in public with a girl half his age. But the #1 tell with this type seems to be when they say something to the affect of,"I'm brand new at this and don't really know what to expect." One girl admitted to me that she had read on a SB board that such a line was a safe way to lead into a non-sexual connection, and their attitude seems to be that at a minimum they get a free meal out of it so it's no skin off their nose. A couple have said things like,"any relationship takes time to get to intimacy!" (to which I remind them that this is *not* a relationship, it's an arrangement. We're seeking one thing, and sugar is a shortcut past the time, work and drama of getting to that one thing; if they're not fully on board with that, they have no business in the sugar bowl.) And while almost all are young, not all are; I had one mid-40's lady give me that dance.

When they start the "I'm seeking something non-sexual" line, I've learned to tell them politely but directly that they don't grasp how this works, they're wasting my and every other SD's time and to find some other way to try to make money. They seldom seem to get the hint, but let's face it. There's a certain level of selfishness in everyone who does this on both sides of the sexual divide, so it's to be expected.

Here's a few SA member #'s that I've personally confirmed of that type:

1213926.

1209679.

1198801.

1187973.

1132844

[CantWinLosin]

And then there is this:

1187973.

LOL! I talked to this one. Typical redneck princess, thinks her sh! T is rainbow colored and her puss made of gold. She's been on the site for at least 6 months, and admits in her profile she's met only one "loser". My guess is that she's too stupid to figure out why she's getting no interest.

[F Scott]

P. S. I have broken my own rules and become E involved with my ATF. I will now stand and take my grade.

Sub,

As I see it, you have two choices at this point - pull back and hope to avoid heartache down the line, but possibly at the expense of some really fantastic times, or damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! As one who knows, the pain is intense when the end finally comes, but it does diminish with time. An old heart breaks into more pieces than a younger one, apparently, but it can still be mended.

As has been said, may the god of the Sugar Bowl have mercy.

Scott

[Mr Strict]

All questions about what is expected is met with the response "We are both adults here. And I am looking for adult companionship." Straight up! You don't have to say it. The implication that the arrangement involves intimacy and without intimacy there is no sugar. If they need time to develop intimacy tell them to get on a regular dating site. If you don't give them anything useful up front (like a nice dinner out) then the M & G becomes what is should be: A job interview. Or you can look at it another way: It is the pot SB's job to convince you their pussy is the pussy for you. As a SD you have limited time and sugar. I do not allow fake SB's to waste my time or my sugar.

I'm the bank. They want a loan. All loans require collateral. Their pussy is just a invitation for me to return to make another loan. If they don't keep the banker happy then their line of credit is cut off.

This. I cannot agree more with the Commander. They are interviewing for a position, period. And they should be made aware of that and proceed accordingly. I do not and will not pay someone to interview them. If they are looking for payment at the first M&G, beyond a drink or coffee, what does that say for how any arrangement would be handled? And all of our time is valuable and in short supply, so, don't give me that excuse. Would she say that to the bank if she were getting a car loan? Highly doubt it. Now, this doesn't mean one should not conduct themselves like a gentleman. Not at all. But when the talk turns to "payment by the minute", I immediately give the "Good luck" and she is kicked into the heap. If she changes her mind later, we can talk. But I move on immediately.

Having said all of that, YMMV most definitely. I'd be a little wary of ignoring a pot SB completely because someone here posts their profile I'd. Sometimes a girl may be "no-sex" with one SD but will be willing to go to the FC with another. Your game, your physical appearance / hygiene, and your allowance offer can all play a part if a SB is willing to be intimate with you. Remember we're also being evaluated, and some SBs may make the determination they may only be willing to be your arm candy because you didn't present yourself well. In other cases, if they click well with you, they'll be willing to be intimate and accept a more realistic allowance. I know this is the case because I've had several SBs tell me they do this and I've experienced it first hand.

I agree with this but suggest taking it a step further. Just because something didn't work out is one thing. Let the next guy give it a shot. It's the scams, flakes, no-shows and total train wrecks that we should post, in my somewhat humble opinion. And then there is this:

1187973.

Wow. Honestly, would any in the brotherhood want to get wrapped up in this? Lives in BF Virginia, is at least 50 (listed 43, so, add at least 8) , you ain't getting laid because she's not a "WH@RE"", a total nando-1 with stretch marks and comes across as a total cvnt in her post! It would be like paying by the minute to be with my ex-wife. *shudder*

SubCmdr out.

P. S. I have broken my own rules and become E involved with my ATF. I will now stand and take my grade.

You poor bastard. May the god of Sugar have mercy on your soul.

Stay safe.

Strict