"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

I have been reading all your observations and advice to our friend Nando, and, in addition to feeling they are also directed at me, I'd like to offer yet another perspective for group consideration. I realize I am speaking from Nando's side of the fence on this point, but why should he sublimate his feelings and expectations in regards to his ATF's treatment of him if it bothers him?

I have made a career out of making deals of one sort or another, and I have developed a simple philosophy: anyone can envision and embrace the "upside" of a deal, namely that we get the whished-for positive outcome. When we are successful in this manner, we think we have power over the situation. I have observed over the years that it is only when we examine the "downside" of the deal, ie the negative outcome, and are ok with that, that we are in a true position of power. We can't be made to do anything for which we are not prepared.

Using Nando's, or my, situation as a real life example, if we are willing to accept that our babies might bolt on us, there is no harm in making our feelings, or in this case Nando's irritations, known. In my particular case, I had a frank talk with my ATF about her strange "aloofness" and we sorted it out and now things are golden again. I wonder if I had not had that talk with her, but rather kept it to myself for fear of ruining things, if it might not have had a negative effect on our relationship in that I would have behaved differently towards her, she would have sensed it and reacted, and so on downwards.

In the end, I guess, we are all looking for a connection, at times some deeper than others. "Honesty" is a word that gets used a lot in the SB world, which on one hand is ironic given the forum in which we are operating, but on the other hand is something that many of these little fish are obviously not getting elsewhere. Could it be that they view honesty as power? An interesting idea to ponder.

In any event, keep up the good work, gentlemen.

I know I am not alone when I say that I await some salacious reports.

All the best,

Scott

[Spitfire]

Perhaps I should just enjoy the ride and not worry about others. In effect back my emotions down a bit if that is possible.

I am going to confront her and see what she says about it. Perhaps she is taking my $$$ thousands for granted and I will spend them somewhere else. I can not stand Greed.

Hernando,

Just enjoy the ride and maintain friendly relations if you can hold your emotions in check. It's hard, but we have to accept that these gems are not seeking deep emotional attachment or a lasting relationship. In essence they are seeking $ without feeling like they are having sex for $. Confrontation is a bad idea. Just decide if you can handle it. If not, move on to the next one. It's all you can do. No sense getting hurt in this game. No offense intended!

[F Scott]

I have been communicating with a SB for two weeks now without meeting for the first time yet. I have already gotten the picture of her life, and while it doesn't seem all that bad, no drug problem as I can tell etc. She is down on her luck and the relationship with her family is bad. Now I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress and this all of the sudden emotional attachment has me in quite the quandry, I want to help her instead of fuck her. I have enough emotional attachment at home, don't need to go find more. Not sure if any of this makes sense to other people, Not sure the SD route is my ticket just yet.

Buck,

Keep at it, my brother! It took me over a month to land my first baby, but things magically got easier after that. It's like learning any new skill, motivation alone is not enough to get the little fish in the net. You have to practice, and learn from what works and what doesn't work. I actually had a seasoned baby walk me through my text line by line and tell me where the red flags, turn-offs and stupid lines were, as well as what was working. I don't quite know why she did this, since we had already met and did not feel the spark, so it was not because she was hot to get into my pants, LOL.
Oddly, after I had landed my first baby, I started getting regular hits. It's like I had gotten in the groove, so to speak. You need to look at all aspects of your game: profile text, first contact text, second contact text, first meeting approach, second meeting approach, and so on. Also, keep in mind that a baby that did not rise to your presentation the first time might just bite the second time around. A lot of them just bide their time in their holding spots, waiting to see what hits the water.

This is a hobby for the patient man who enjoys the pursuit almost as much as the netting. It's not like dialing a number and getting laid by any means, but the babies are so much finer. As for their personal lives, as long as it's not like an episode of Teen Moms or whatever that show is, don't let yourself get deterred. We all have baggage, and ups and downs of fortune. That's just life. Keep your eye on the prize, though, which is fucking her. You can feel compassion, help her out of a jam, and so on, but the goal is to bed her.

Keep up the good work, my friends, and don't forget to write.

Best,

Scott

[Varoom]

I just found my HYB HCB SO back on the SB site, so it is obvious that she is looking for more than I am giving her. .

Who knows? Maybe more $$, maybe more regular companionship, maybe both.

Maybe she is just doing what she does. Isn't this how you met her, right? On SD site. Maybe nothing new at all here.

She still treats me like $ Million and I quite honestly don't know what to do at this point. I am seriously emotionally involved so I can't stand the thought of me being one of several guys she is banging and treating to the same love and affection that I get, but I AM getting good service from her, although at a considerably higher price than I would normally spend for hobbying.

Hmmmmmm, I do think that you are getting exactly what you want. Except for the sharing part. But really, isn't that part of this whole SD / SB thing. The only thing that is now different is your perspective on this very relationship, not the hobby in and of itself. The only change is within Nando.

Perhaps I should just enjoy the ride and not worry about others.in effect back my emotions down a bit if that is possible.

Yep, yep, yep. Find a way to trim those emotions or else you risk running this gig over the cliff.

I am going to confront her and see what she says about it. Perhaps she is taking my $$$ thousands for granted and I will spend them somewhere else. I can not stand Greed.

Oh my. There goes the gig, right over the cliff; lock, stock and barrel."Greed is good", to quote Gordon Gecko.

I worry about Scott but I worry more about Nando

Well placed concerns, Golf.

[BuckDancer]

Thanks Golfcart for the words of wisdom, Said SB has not yet returned, and I'm ok with it as I don't want or need the drama. I am quite confused by the whole SB thing now though. I'm relatively younger early 40's and my motivation is purely for sex and the enjoyment of the female body. I have no problems with the impersonable straight up phyiscal release of being with a pro. But here's the thing, the pro's these days are skank's, at least 95% of the ones on BP with their tatoo's, drug habits, and big ass thieving pimp's. The decent pros come with a high price. Then of course there is uncle leo always around the next corner. That scares me, so I thought after reading this SB thread this was the way to go! I have been communicating with a SB for two weeks now without meeting for the first time yet. I have already gotten the picture of her life, and while it doesn't seem all that bad, no drug problem as I can tell etc. She is down on her luck and the relationship with her family is bad. Now I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress and this all of the sudden emotional attachment has me in quite the quandry, I want to help her instead of fuck her. I have enough emotional attachment at home, don't need to go find more. Not sure if any of this makes sense to other people, Not sure the SD route is my ticket just yet.

[Golfcart]

I worry about Scott but I worry more about Nando on account of stuff like this:

(Edit Delete) I do not blow her phone up. I might text a sweet nothing one liner every 1 to 2 days just to let her know I'm thinking about her. (Edit Delete)

What's important is does she want this attention during her day? How often does she text Nando in relation to how often he texts her? Replies don't count in the count. How often does she touch Nando's hand in the car in relation to Nando reaching for hers? It's about natural balance, natural imbalance.

And this:

I think your baby got frightened by the strength of her own feelings for you and thus the reality of your age gap. (Edit Delete)

They are both scared. Scott is scared what will happen will happen and she's scared Scott is getting too close which endangers her sugar 'cause Scott's off the natural path, but here I go again with the Mother Nature stuff.

And this:

I would suggest a light hearted discussion with her about your feelings about what happened. She needs to know that you noticed a big difference in her attitude and that while you do have strong feelings for her they are manageable in order for the relationship to go on. (Edit Delete)

Oh My Fucking God, Nando. Not when she does it but coming from us that is Pure Drama and certain death. At least if Scott plays the Drama Card the sooner this whole mess will be over. I need a beer and The Real Housewives of Atlanta where there is a some reality.

I love you guys.

[Golfcart]

I call it not pushing on a string.

Yes Mr. Scott, I followed your advice and my correspondence with my first baby off SA stayed very cordial and I left it with Have a great holiday and feel free to contact me if you decide you would like some company. She sent back a nice message as well. So whether or not she contacts me again I didn't do anything to shut the door. (Edit Delete)

Women need space. They get space by getting more time. A woman goes through a series of steps before reaching the big one, fucking for money, when she needs space like never before. BuckDancer's move removed the pressure to choose, to choose when she is ready, and to choose him when other suitors are pressuring her to get with the program. Let the others push on a string and see where that gets them. BuckDancer is sitting back and letting the smell of sugar do the hard work. It won't always work. When it doesn't nothing else will.

Women also need the security they can withdraw at any point, before, during and after the event or events without dangling participles following them home and troubling their lives. Compared to all the other suitors BuckDancer's move puts him in the safe category. Stay on this path.

We must be real no pressure, as in genuine. This is not something we can fake. Women can tell.

Not all genuine no pressure guys win. Wimps are genuine no pressure. Confident men usually win for a while.

[Golfcart]

I'll add my 2 cents to the discussion. From the girls’ point of view, many of them are looking for an escape from the immature drama they may be experiencing with guys their own age. There is something safe about a relationship with a man 2 or more decades their senior. They quite often just want an escape from the jealousy and unpredictable emotional reaction of younger men. (Edit Delete)

Disagree to the Max (no pun intended). In fact I couldn't disagree more. They don't have to do us to escape an immature or disloyal boyfriend. It's the sugar coming from Scott compared to her needs (evolving needs) (inflationary needs) and the sugar available from SOSD (Some Other Sugar Daddy). [Question: Is somebody keeping a list of these? ]

I think it is very important to always keep a happy go lucky attitude with a sugar baby. (Edit Delete)

Agree to the Max. I couldn't agree more.

Scott's well planned out overnight may have scared his ATF into believing he is getting too serious or that she may start to experience unexpected emotions for him. (Edit Delete)

Yes, it will happen sooner or later. By nature the relationship is limited to a certain period of time, secondary to her other opportunities. We can prolong that time by playing our cards right but even without other opportunities Mother Nature will win in the end. Mother Nature always wins.

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

Last night I opened an email whose two word message might have otherwise sent fear coursing through my veins,"get tested." I was not worried since it was from a baby that I had only briefly corresponded with, but had never met with. She just gave off a skanky vibe, and I drifted away. I am guessing that she sent out an email blast to everyone in her contacts list, as there were several other names besides mine in the "To" slot.

It did make me think, however, that it is easy in the SB world to become complacent, lulled by the sometimes false idea that these are all amateurs that we deal with, and thus are free from STDs. My take-away from this is to trust my spidey sense, and if something seems not quite right, walk away. There's another baby or two just around the corner.

Happy holidays to all my brothers out there, and remember to always play safely.

Best,

Scott.

PS. Drock and Dru, pm me for her info. I don't know if she is still on the SA site, but you don't want to accidentally run into her, I'm guessing

[F Scott]

If in her first message to you she addresses you with any of the following: sweetie, hun, babe, doll or handsome (this last especially if you have no public picture posted) , or if she uses the phrase "I'm so horneee".

Scott

[F Scott]

Yes Mr. Scott, I followed your advice and my correspondence with my first baby off SA stayed very cordial and I left it with Have a great holiday and feel free to contact me if you decide you would like some company. She sent back a nice message as well. So whether or not she contacts me again I didn't do anything to shut the door.

Hey Buck,

Has anything opened up for you, either with this baby or others? Inquiring minds want to know.

Scott

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

It has been a few days since I got back from my celibacy tour of the near south, and I am at work for a few days before the holiday. As anticipated, I spent a wonderful morning and early afternoon on Monday with my ATF at what is now our favorite trysting spot. A very interesting, high-design small inn, with a fantastic restaurant attached. I will share more later, but my evenings alone on the road gave me ample time to reminisce, and I wanted to share a tale with you that might help us all out.

I was on the road for business and had contacted some babies beforehand as usual, and had successfully landed a very sweet single mom in her late 20's the night before, (should that be its own acronym - HSM - "hot single mom"?) and was feeling smug and rosy about the current night's contact, a very attractive, thin HCB. As is my wont, I had gotten her cell number a few days before, and called her once I was done for the day so we could make plans to meet, and hopefully fuck.

Now here's where things start to go sideways, at least apparently. It was late, I had already had dinner, and was having trouble getting back to the hotel due to an accident on the highway. Long story short, the baby and I were talking off and on to update the situation. She seemed rational and coherent and non-threatening during all these calls, so much so that I suggested we skip drinks and just meet at my hotel room, a concept to which she readily agreed. I gave her the hotel and room number and signed off, a smile on my lips and a stiffie in my pants.

As I was nearing the hotel, I recalled her last few sentences, which went something like this: "I'm really glad you can meet me. I've had some really bad luck lately, some bounced checks, overdrawn accounts, I'm late with my rent, and I've lost about 20 pounds, so I really can use the help." Yikes, did I just invite a crack ho back to my room? What was I thinking, or more accurately, what was I thinking with? What if she shows up and is a wreck? How can I get rid of her without too much drama? Will there be a big, angry boyfriend waiting for me as well? These, and many more similarly-paranoid thoughts ran through my head, and I quickly found a bar, texted her that I had a change of plans and said I would like to meet her for a nightcap instead, got a table next to the bouncer and waited.

As it turned out, I needn't have feared. She was adorable, sweet, and funny; she just had had a string of bad luck. The bounced checks were her last two paychecks from a place that had suddenly gone out of business, and this obviously had put her in a tight spot. I bought her dinner and then took her back to the room for a truly astounding session. She was a tight, wet spinner of the first order, with a thin little body and tiny boobs that were a surprising turn-on for me, and very vocal and appreciative. As she left and I staggered back to the bed to collapse with fatigue, I laughed at my earlier concerns, but the next day the moral of the story hit me: never arrange to meet with any baby without an "interview" in a safe, open public place first, no matter how normal they seem on the phone. We do not want to end up on the local news.

On another note, I wish you all, my brothers, a happy holiday, whatever you may call it, and urge you to make the new year full of wonderful babies, and baby stories.

All the best,

Scott

[Golfcart]

Alias, welcome and keep us up to date.

[AliasSM]

I'm new to this forum but have been a contributor for some time in other Richmond forums. Sorry, but had to change my User I'd because it was too close to my email name and I don't want my current SB to recognize me. I've been lurking here for a long time and have learned a lot thanks to you all. I have been trying to get into the SB world and out of the escort world for some time now, with limited success until recently. Paid for the SDFM site for about 6 months but never really knew how to use it then. After reading some posts here and on the Baltimore site, decided to try the CL route for free. I am not yet found my ATF like some of you (definitely my goal) , but have had some recent success and am still learning.

I have posted on CL about 4 times now over a 2 month period. Most were not successful except for one particular add that got a half dozen or so good candidates.

-2 were BBW types that didn't interest me when we met up at all. But got a BBBJ from one of them on the first meeting after dinner and drinks at a local Applebees. Just not my type for a LTR.

-1 was a real looker around 30, divorced with small child. I met her at a bar and we had a good chat for a couple of hours. I could not get her to respond to my emails after that so must not have been her type. I'll try again in a month or so, but don't expect to hear from her again.

-1 was a BBW that went right to the "come to my place instead" response. I don't think she is a pro, but she certainly was interested in the cash more than anything else. Her place was a mess and she was not my type, but we did a quick 30 minute session and I got out of there. She contacted me a couple of times since but I'm not at all interested.

-The only long term candidate is a young lady around 30, currently going to VCU and waiting tables on the side. Although a bit on the heavy side, she is clean, well educated, pleasant to be around, and pretty good in bed She actually got cold feet before our first meeting and stood me up. Then we met first at a place she picked out and things went pretty well but no physical contact on that date. On the second date, I went all out and took her to one of the nicest places in town. I spent a bundle but still nothing physical. I was about ready to give up, but struck gold on the 3rd and 4th dates. She was a lot of fun, especially on the last date, and I will keep you all posted on how it goes from here.

I do not see her as a LTR at this point, but am certainly having fun. I plan to post new adds about once a month and eventually want that HYB or HCB that a few of you are so excited about. I'm not sure I have the patience, but am going to give it a hell of a try anyway.

Keep up the good posts.

Alias

[F Scott]

I was trying to be as "kid gloved" as possible there Scott. But it is tough and no easy way to break this possible news to a grown man. LOL.

Glad that the day hasn't come. But just know that it will, some day. Try to keep shit into perspective so "when that happens" it doesn't drop you like a 10 yr old kid losing his first puppy love.

Varoom,

You have given me food for thought. Honestly, when I first began my SB journey, my intention was to cut as many notches on my belt as possible, but then, unexpectedly, I ran into my ATF. Our first meeting, in a coffee shop, was magic, then the next, longer outing, a 2 hour bike ride along the lakefront, did nothing to turn my interest aside. Due to scheduling conflicts, we couldn't meet again for a few weeks, and I was able to slip a few other babies into my agenda, but then, as you all know, I had a conversion while pounding away at Bo Derek's hotter granddaughter.

I believe I am, at present, at a crossroads. Certainly down one path is committed monogamy, longish-term stability, but ultimate heartbreak. I know that. However, down the other path may lie repeated experiences of disillusionment and regret that I have, oddly,"cheated" on my HCB. So do I take my sorrow in one big lump, or spread it out? Just don't know, but it bears pondering. Fortunately, I have 12 hours of travel ahead of me tomorrow, and I may just put that question on the agenda.

As always, thanks for the advice and support.

Scott