"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

**F Scott** · 12-16-11 20:51

Gentlemen,

I am out of town on business, and have been behaving myself, but I was really hoping to log in tonight and read about somebody doing something!

Let's get busy out there, my brothers! The holidays are fast approaching, and I am guessing we will all pull in our horns a bit, so this is really the last weekend to cut loose. Get those babies into bed, pronto!

I'll be checking back later, and I'm sure I'm not alone in saying I'd love to read some posts before bedtime.

All the best,

Scott

**Madaboutmax** · 12-13-11 18:47

Originally Posted by Hernando [View Original Post]

Holy S*t Max! I have to echo Scott's adulation re: your Sextual virtuosity. Kudos to you and your Nympho SB

And I have to introduce some scepticism about your purported abilities. I know many men are multiorgasmic but even by porn standards I wonder if your success is not exagerated somewhat? Please do not take offense but I read enough about male physiology to know that 4-5 O's / session is WAAAAY above the norm.

The other issue that I encountered with many ladies I have had the fortune to bed over the years is that few have staying power for a multifucking session. The pussy cat just gets tired out after a while and they are ready to get 'er done. You two seem to be made for each other.

I can appreciate the skepticism. I don't want to get off topic or start a debate, but I'm surprised (if not giddy) about it myself. I had a 5 round evening in college once, but I only lasted a couple minutes (if that) each round. I still need recovery time and the 4-5 rounds is spread out over 8+ hours. I'm in my mid-40's and don't use supplements. Yes, we have had to use lubricants. I think this is more about her. She is very attractive and willing to work to get me started. She is a freak and I am good with that.

**Varoom** · 12-13-11 11:55

Originally Posted by F Scott [View Original Post]

Varoom, no need to apologize about sounding preachy, although I do have one question to ask: were you trying to make me cry? ("What I didn't see mentioned is maybe she has met someone else.") Just kidding.

I was trying to be as "kid gloved" as possible there Scott. But it is tough and no easy way to break this possible news to a grown man. LOL.

Glad that the day hasn't come. But just know that it will, some day. Try to keep shit into perspective so "when that happens" it doesn't drop you like a 10 yr old kid losing his first puppy love. But frankly my friend, I have my concerns about you. You are in way too deep for these comments to do any good, but in the spirit of fulfilling my duty as a no-nonsense sounding board here, I have to state the obvious as I have above. Enjoy your HYB while it lasts. But diversify your efforts for your own protection. OK, I won't say it again my brother. You're a big boy and can handle your business. All the best to you in your SB endeavors.

**Hernando** · 12-13-11 10:49

Holy S*t Max! I have to echo Scott's adulation re: your Sextual virtuosity. Kudos to you and your Nympho SB

And I have to introduce some scepticism about your purported abilities. I know many men are multiorgasmic but even by porn standards I wonder if your success is not exagerated somewhat? Please do not take offense but I read enough about male physiology to know that 4-5 O's / session is WAAAAY above the norm.

The other issue that I encountered with many ladies I have had the fortune to bed over the years is that few have staying power for a multifucking session. The pussy cat just gets tired out after a while and they are ready to get 'er done. You two seem to be made for each other.

**F Scott** · 12-12-11 19:49

Originally Posted by Madaboutmax [View Original Post]

Its been less than two weeks, but we've already had 5 overnights. We've had a minimum of 4 rounds every night with her initiating most of them. Looking at the sugar / round, I may have one of the best deals going. I don't know how long this will last, but I sure am enjoying the ride.

I've decided she needs a new acronym. HYN (Hot Young Nympho).

Good God, Max!

Four rounds per night! Your Viagra bill must be through the roof! Keep at it, my man, you are my hero.

Seriously, though, isn't the sugar / round rate ultimately far better than any other route? Sure it takes more work, sure we delve into their, and our, private shit a little too much from time to time, and sure there are misses and spit hooks as well as hits and landings, but isn't it so worth it in the end?

I realize I am speaking as a man who has just set his world back in order, and so may be wearing an unusually rosy shade of eyeglasses at the moment, but the truth is still the truth. This is a sport for those who love the pursuit as much as the prize. Fly fishing vs bait casting. It's not for all anglers, but for those who have tried and been successful, I believe there is no turning back.

Scott

**Hernando** · 12-12-11 18:35

It must be the season brothers.

I just found my HYB HCB SO back on the SB site, so it is obvious that she is looking for more than I am giving her. Who knows? Maybe more $$, maybe more regular companionship, maybe both. As Varoom so eloquently said, perhaps she needs a HYD to escape from the HOSD. Perhaps one or more of you guys will soon be enjoying this same treasure that I have been so enamored with. One SD' s ex is someone else's current SB.

She still treats me like $ Million and I quite honestly don't know what to do at this point. I am seriously emotionally involved so I can't stand the thought of me being one of several guys she is banging and treating to the same love and affection that I get, but I AM getting good service from her, although at a considerably higher price than I would normally spend for hobbying.

Perhaps I should just enjoy the ride and not worry about others.in effect back my emotions down a bit if that is possible.

I am going to confront her and see what she says about it. Perhaps she is taking my $$$ thousands for granted and I will spend them somewhere else. I can not stand Greed.

**F Scott** · 12-12-11 17:58

Gentlemen,

Please allow the King of Drama to bring his tale to a (happy) conclusion.

I had a very pleasant lunch with my ATF this afternoon, at which I strove to keep the mood light-hearted and fun, considered that she might have just been busy, or that she was a little freaked out by the intensity of what we had going on. I am pleased to report that things are back to normal. She is in the lead-up to finals, had an extremely awkward situation at work where one of her co-workers was crudely hitting on her (I will be killing him, of course) , and was fighting with her mom via email. She also did mention that this thing we have had gotten intense for her all of a sudden, and she needed to think about where she saw it going.

We had a short, light but frank discussion about what we both were looking for in this relationship, and find we are on the same page: long-term, stable and fun.

I now head out of town with a song in my heart and something to look forward to when I return. We have a room booked at this extremely well-reviewed restaurant that also has an inn component. Sounds like it was created for us SDs, doesn't it? Drock, I'll share the info with you if you want, it's in the Logan Square neighborhood.

Again, thank you all for your advice, some of which was a needed reality check, but all of which was supportive. Varoom, no need to apologize about sounding preachy, although I do have one question to ask: were you trying to make me cry? ("What I didn't see mentioned is maybe she has met someone else.") Just kidding.

Adios for a week, my brothers. Keep up the good work,

Scott

**Varoom** · 12-12-11 14:34

Others have mentioned possible fears on her part, of either your feelings or hers developing into something that becomes more cumbersome. Maybe, maybe not.

What I didn't see mentioned is maybe she has met someone else. Or decided that she needs to date someone else, maybe in her own age group and step away from being the SB. She may not be up for some of the intensity that the relationship has developed into. It does become less fun and more work, if one is not really into it naturally.

One of the risks of spending more time with the same lady, and especially overnighters, is that it violates the theme of "absense makes the heart grow fonder" and perpetuates that "familiarity breeds contempt". In fact, the latter is the reason why many seek a SB to begin with, as an escape. And the minute that you attempt to mold this hobby into something that it shouldn't, then the relationships take on all the trappings of the things we attempt to escape. Either for us or for our HYB's.

This whole thing works much better if you avoid making something out of these encounters that they are not meant to be. (not lecturing here, just re-stating the obvious). When these gigs attract baggage, then you need a HYB to escape from your HYB. Or our HYB needs a HYD to escape from HOSD.

I'd spend more time wondering why you intended or allowed for things to turn out in a much more intense relationship than most of these SD / SB are meant to be. Something is staring you right in the face, and I'd figure out what it is. Others here in the past (Golf, et al) have cautioned against getting to this point. (again, don't take this as lecturing, because I am not) , and it is almost a foregone conclusion that this will happen. You just need to recognize it for what it probably is, and prepare to move on. Hopefully w / o being wounded to badly. Definitely avoiding this detour in the future; or repeat the pains of the past.

**Hernando** · 12-12-11 12:18

Excellent advice from the brothers!

Scott, I suffer from the same emotionally charged POV with my baby. I can't imagine the shock and dismay that I would experience if my ATF HYB HCB SO became cool with me after so much emotion and loving. I have got it bad for my Baby I must admit.

Everyone on this and other boards confirms that we must keep it light to keep these youngsters happy and not feeling threatened, but I'll be darned if I can do it very well. The only thing I haven't done is tell my baby I am leaving my wife and moving her in .Yikes! My Baby will just not communicate much with me between visits which drives me crazy, but I try not to bug her for the very reason that you are going through what you are. PS- I do not blow her phone up.I might text a sweet nothing one liner every 1 to 2 days just to let her know I'm thinking about her.

I think your baby got frightened by the strength of her own feelings for you.and thus the reality of your age gap. Realistically. 20 yrs might be do-able marginally but 30 or 40 yrs (like mine) is simply ludicrous. Although I would not have any trouble with it myself. Her family and peers would go ape shit if she brought you / me home to mom and dad and friends. They'd probably call the cops for child abuse LOL.

I would suggest a light hearted discussion with her about your feelings about what happened. She needs to know that you noticed a big difference in her attitude and that while you do have strong feelings for her they are manageable in order for the relationship to go on.

Good luck and keep us posted.

**F Scott** · 12-12-11 11:06

Originally Posted by Madaboutmax [View Original Post]

I'll add my 2 cents to the discussion. From the girls point of view, many of them are looking for an escape from the immature drama they may be experiencing with guys their own age. There is something safe about a relationship with a man 2 or more decades their senior. They quite often just want an escape from the jealousy and unpredictable emmotional reaction of younger men. I think it is very important to always keep a happy go lucky attitude with a sugar baby.

Scott's well planned out overnight may have scared his ATF into believing he is getting too serious or that she may start to experience unexpected emotions for him. In either case, I would be careful to keep it very light at this point and let her sort things out.

Max,

I think your approach, keep it light, is one I need to work on. We often say in our profiles that we are looking for "nsa, no drama" relationship, and yet here I am acting like a drama queen myself. I am having lunch with my ATF this afternoon before heading out of town, and I will keep your advice first and foremost in my head.

Again, thanks to all who weighed in on this one, and a shout out to my fellow angler here in Chicago: good luck to you, Drock. We should compare notes sometime. I had limited success on SD4M. Too much emailing and not enough action, but clearly you found the key.

Gentlemen, keep up the good work. I will be out of town for a week, and planning on being as celibate as a monk. A modern-day one, not from Chaucer's time!

Scott

**BuckDancer** · 12-12-11 09:42

Yes Mr. Scott, I followed your advice and my correspondence with my first baby off SA stayed very cordial and I left it with Have a great holiday and feel free to contact me if you decide you would like some company. She sent back a nice message as well. So whether or not she contacts me again I didn't do anything to shut the door.

As far as your ATF is concerned I would have to agree with win and fix, give her some time and space. By all your accounts here on this forum you are polite, gentlemenly, and considerate. Exams can be stressful and maybe she truly just would prefer not to think about your arrangement during this time. I'd be willing to bet as soon as exams are done she'll be ready for some quality time with you as soon as you can fit it in.

Good Luck!

**Drock1234** · 12-11-11 20:19

Hello everyone, it has been a while since I reported. I have been very successful with the sdfme site. Probably about a75% success rate. I have had 6 dates with 5 successes. It is time to chose my ATF because funds are running low. I have found the gamet of SB's on the site. Currently my ATF will be a 22 year old SB. She is in college and we have had the most dates and have a real connection.

Fscott, I'm out of Chicago also. Just moved here and love it. The amount of SB's available is unbelievable.

Thanks everyone for your donations to the forum. It has been a tremendous help.

Have fun and stay safe.

**Madaboutmax** · 12-11-11 14:29

I'll add my 2 cents to the discussion. From the girls point of view, many of them are looking for an escape from the immature drama they may be experiencing with guys their own age. There is something safe about a relationship with a man 2 or more decades their senior. They quite often just want an escape from the jealousy and unpredictable emmotional reaction of younger men. I think it is very important to always keep a happy go lucky attitude with a sugar baby.

I personally always try to keep things light and humorous. My compliments are always jokingly dramatic. I will give them a blank stare and slap myself out of my dayze. Check my pulse and say "good I'm still alive". Just smile and say "damn!". Grab my chest and ask if they know CPR. Anything too serious can scare them away.

Scott's well planned out overnight may have scared his ATF into believing he is getting too serious or that she may start to experience unexpected emotions for him. In either case, I would be careful to keep it very light at this point and let her sort things out.

**F Scott** · 12-11-11 13:57

Fix and Win,

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I had thought about the possibility that she too was affected by the intimacy and intensity of the overnight experience. As has been stated before, there is no long term future for this, if looked at objectively, and this could be scary and a little sad to both of us.

As counseled, I will stay cool and calm, and see what transpires.

This, if I may say, is what makes this thread so great.

With warm regards,

Scott

**CantWinLosin** · 12-11-11 10:19

Scott,

I agree that you should be patient. Consider how meaningful that overnight was to you. If you two have the sort of multi-layered connection you've described, it likely was meaningful for her as well... possibly enough to scare her at the depth of the event. It could also be that she saw how deeply it affected *you*, and that scared her some. Either way, if she perceives you becoming clingy, needy, blowing her phone up, etc, it will confirm her fears and ruin things. So be cool. Contact her at the same level and frequency as before, and give her the space to find her feet with respect to your relationship.

Good luck!