Thread: Massage Parlor Reports
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08-24-19 20:24 #8956
Posts: 45Med, you were right. I went back by early in the evening. Good massage but that's it. No extras.
Originally Posted by MedJohnson [View Original Post]
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08-24-19 17:11 #8955
Posts: 525She's
Just the manager. They have a cute 20 something masseuse that I would tap in a second if I could. But she's not down. Covered massage.
Med.
Originally Posted by LPennington [View Original Post]
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08-24-19 16:17 #8954
Posts: 45New (?) Horizon
Stopped by on Saturday. They were not answering the phone so I stopped by seeing if I could get a late afternoon appointment. Was offered something in 30 minutes. The providers were old as dirt (even for AMP standards)! I politely declined.
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08-24-19 10:25 #8953
Posts: 525Jj
31 open. Same frumpster as before so assume same menu. Busy so I could not partake and went up the road for some healing spa time.
Med.
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08-23-19 08:21 #8952
Posts: 289Well, Damn.
This is absolutely the most entertaining review I have ever read. You ought to write a novel, I like your style!
TS24.
Originally Posted by Dasalt [View Original Post]
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08-22-19 20:13 #8951
Posts: 525New Horizon
Hit This place. Essentially legit and wanted a decent rub. No fun to be had but she did get me worked up. Hit a nearby fake Asian to scratch the yellow fever itch and had an excellent dream.
Med.
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08-22-19 17:22 #8950
Posts: 507Tell us
How you really feel! LOL Hilarious. Thanks for the heads up. You should unblock her just to see her responses! Oh and $130 is not bad. I've lost more than that in one fell swoop. "salt shaker" that's epic!
Originally Posted by Dasalt [View Original Post]
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08-22-19 15:17 #8949
Posts: 52Looks like timing is everything
Hey there XHippie.
Sorry to hear about the experience. Looks like timing is everything.
- Tork.
Originally Posted by XHippie [View Original Post]
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08-22-19 06:11 #8948
Posts: 1499Originally Posted by Pgrandis54 [View Original Post]
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08-22-19 01:46 #8947
Posts: 203Leesa aka Miss NJ Trailerpark Massage Queen of 1978
I actually saw this sawed off chunk of confusion in Fort Mill, SC a few weeks ago. Was there for a work thing and ended up with this crazy broad jerking my Salt shaker. Saw she was in town so I decided to warn my fellow RDU monger brothers.
And if you are reading this Leesa, good luck remembering your unlucky victims from three weeks ago. I have blocked your number so you don't need to call. Here is a hint: Tall, short gray hair, mustache, and you commented on the size of 'little Salt Shaker'.
https://escortalligator.com.raleigh....6575453/durham#.
https://sweetmaturity.wordpress.com/my-information/
Xxx-xxx-0606 Is the last four of the real phone number.
Xxx-xxx-4567 Is the last four of the fake phone number she has in the ads. You can search Listcrawler for that.
First, a passage from her oh so well designed Website.
" AT THIS STAGE IN MY LIFE, I HAVE EXPERIENCED SEVERAL EROTIC THINGS. MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT I WOULD. I'M OPENMINDED. I'M MATURE! I KNOW WHAT I ENJOY, WHAT I STILL DO AND WHAT I WON'T DO EVER AGAIN.
I ALSO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND MEN AND THEIR DESIRES. WILL I DISCUSS THINGS, TO AN EXTENT, YES.
I'M A LADY NOT A STUPID NAIVE YOUNG PROVIDER WHO DOESN'T REALIZE WHAT SAFETY MEANS.
A SMART AND SAFE PROVIDER DOES NOT OFFER SHORT SERVICES. ONLY HARD UP HOOKERS, SCAMMERS AND UNDERCOVER COPS DO THAT."
OK so I have weird taste. I am attracted to "Small BBW's with big knockers for titty fucking". And well, she was the first one to respond.
Going to Sergio Leone style on this one: Good, Bad and ugly!
Good: Easy to set appointment. But in retrospect that was likely due to the fact that she is unlikely to have a lot of repeat customers. Titties are large, firm, and she does not mind a good old Russian dressing applied to them.
Bad: Her face could stop a clock. Plain as homemade lye soap as my grandma used to say. The photos are a bit deceptive as they are nit current and are from flattering angles. She is a bit more 'dumpy' that curvy. When I commented on her sort of plain jane Wordpress site she told me she was also a professional web designer and that she only did massage to earn 'extra' money for her retirement. I feel so bad for her clients. Who wants a site with all those giant, very bossy comments. "THIS WEBSITE IS EXTREMELY INFORMATIVE". Made me think of the Daliks in Dr. Who. And the entire bloody page is in ALL CAPS!
Ugly: No BJ's. And was really snotty about it when I asked as she was about to drown my wang in lotion for Operation Bad Handjob. Oh BTW Wordpress Designer of the Day, that lotion is NOT scent free. Smelled like an old woman's handbag. And you need to do a better job of getting as much of it off at the end. My crotch was sort of red and itchy after that crap dried on my skin.
But truly the one thing that you could not avoid if you tried with this harlot they ran out of the trailer park js the goddamn incessant and insane talking. She talked about:
Her husbands.
Sister.
How any girl that would blow ya is a *****.
Her son.
His wife.
The time she went to California.
Living in Florida.
You could literally write anything in this list and you would have a good chance of her having discussed it.
And then the dirty talk while she was doing the greasy pole pull and then the titfuck. OMG. All over the place, no rhyme or reason, lots of talk about 'Imagine you are doing this to my sopping wet pussy' and that sort of thing. BUT all done at the same loud, annoying volume and tone of voice as the never ending psycho babble bipolar bullshit she has been carrying on for the last 45 minutes.
If you rub warm greasy tits up and down on my junk for long enough I will eventually ejaculate regardless of what you are talking about to me. So finally I spewed out a salted vanilla cream shot and that was that.
So in summary; a rude little NJ chunklet rubbed smelly lotion on me and gave me a half hearted Russian while talking too damn loud, too damn much, about too damn much bullshit. And I paid $130 for the privilege. Hey you can not win them all!
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08-21-19 21:40 #8946
Posts: 10Originally Posted by Pgrandis54 [View Original Post]Originally Posted by XHippie [View Original Post]
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08-21-19 18:38 #8945
Posts: 1499Originally Posted by KeyOfgMinor [View Original Post]
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08-21-19 16:20 #8944
Posts: 95Good massage only
Originally Posted by KeyOfgMinor [View Original Post]
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08-20-19 22:56 #8943
Posts: 10Non-HE, minimal draping massage?
Anyone know of a place that does non-HE massages but also allows you to be nude? I just want a nice full body massage without the risks associated with HE places.
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08-19-19 17:55 #8942
Posts: 289Jasmine
Mutual touch? Nursing of the twins?
Originally Posted by Sorinex [View Original Post]