Escort Reports

[DVelvet69]

Frequently, an escort uses code-words to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.

To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, the pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:

Build:

BBW = fat.

Voluptuous = fat.

Curvy = fat.

Curvaceous = fat.

Thick = fat.

Rubenesque = fat.

Womanly = fat.

Hourglass = fat.

Supersized = fat.

Pic of face only? = fat.

Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.

Gives bra size only? = fat.

Busty = either saggy or fat.

Naturally busty = saggy and fat.

Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.

Slim = no boobs.

Svelte = no boobs.

Slender = no boobs.

Dancer's body = no boobs.

Runner = no boobs.

Spinner = no boobs.

Yoga = no boobs.

Bombshell = fake boobs.

Baywatch = fake boobs.

Playboy = fake boobs.

Model = fake boobs.

ETHNICITY:

Brazilian = black.

Butterscotch = black.

Caramel = black.

Chocolate = black.

Creole = black.

Cuban = black.

Dominican = black.

Ebony = black.

Egyptian = black.

Eritrean = black.

Ethiopian = black.

Exotic = black.

Hawaiian = black.

Mahogany = black.

Mocha = black.

Mulatto = black.

Nubian = black.

Mixed = black.

AGE:

Mature = old.

Courtesan = old.

Gracious = old.

Refined = old.

Elegant = old.

Classic = old.

Conservative = old.

Original = old.

Regarding age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:

College Student = late 20's.

Just turned 18 = mid 20's.

19 = possible jailbait.

21 = late 20's.

28 = late 30's.

Personal traits:

Intelligent = brunette.

Sorority Girl = blonde.

Selective = overpriced.

Exclusive = very overpriced.

Classy = can't afford lingerie.

Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.

Nasty = doesn't shower at all.

Upscale = snooty personality.

All American = all trailer trash.

Princess = I have an attitude problem.

Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.

On fire = active herpes outbreak.

Coed = plain looking with acne problem.

Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.

Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.

Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.

Energetic = methamphetamine addict.

Down to earth = boring.

College graduate = sleeps with professors.

Other features:

Open minded = openly accepts tips.

Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.

New to business = changed name.

New to area = changed name and moved across the state.

Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.

Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.

Deposit Required = I'm running a scam.

Accept Gift Cards Only = I'm running a scam.

Face Pic Required = I may want to blackmail you at some point.

Discreet = I check your I'd.

Discrete = I can't spell.

Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.

Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.

Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.

Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.

I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.

Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.

Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.

Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.

AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.

AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.

You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.

You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.

CMT = good massage, bad sex.

FBSM = bad massage, good sex.

UNWRITTEN clues:

What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:

Unless specified differently, you can assume:

Hair color = brown.

Hair length = to shoulder.

Eye color = brown.

Age = mature.

Height = short.

Weight = heavy.

Cup size = small.

Measurements = large.

Good Luck!

[EsGarcea]

Guys I can't say enough positive about her best in the Lou for sometime! Sexy funny and very open minded w a great sense of humor.

Time.

But what are the rates? Please PM if needed. Thanks!

[OldMongrel]

Sparkle? Something like that.

Sparkle is right. I couldn't come up with it myself though. She's been around a long time, on & off.

[ReefGlue]

Sparkle? Something like that.

Don't recall the name but she sure looks familiar.

https://escortalligator.com.listcraw...ouis/41590673/

[Member #6067]

Megan is attractive with a great body. Definitely not GFE, no kissing, no daty / o, BJ was covered. But she was nice.

I'd like to know about chocolate.

Megan is good but no GFE or even close but good looking great body and good service.

Hope to hear about chocolate.

[Member #6067]

She didn't move and is available.

Guys I can't say enough positive about her best in the Lou for sometime! Sexy funny and very open minded w a great sense of humor.

Time.

[Little Richard]

I got there and she blew me off. Smh.

I feel your pain, pretty soon she will have as many ncns reviews good reviews.

Beauty doesn't necessarily mean class.

[Altec269]

Anyone have experience with either of these ladies? Am planning to meet with both but damn, the butterfly lips on the first girl. The second seems to be sweet and pretty. Have a thing for those ebony ladies.

https://escortbabylon.net/posts_view...700/3149260481

https://escortbabylon.net/posts_view...828/3149008565

Megan is attractive with a great body. Definitely not GFE, no kissing, no daty / o, BJ was covered. But she was nice.

[Missery]

Don't recall the name but she sure looks familiar.

https://escortalligator.com.listcraw...ouis/41590673/

[Biznessnunya]

Anyone have experience with either of these ladies? Am planning to meet with both but damn, the butterfly lips on the first girl. The second seems to be sweet and pretty. Have a thing for those ebony ladies.

https://escortbabylon.net/posts_view...700/3149260481

https://escortbabylon.net/posts_view...828/3149008565

[EsGarcea]

She didn't move and is available.

What are her donations?

[LeaveMWet]

I've seen her twice. Never had any ghosting issues with her, but the second time we agreed on FS and she said she didn't have any condoms when the time came. She's a sweet woman with a great body and some skills but something is definitely off about her.

Sticking with a true and reliable instead. Wanted to expand my selections, plus she is really close to my place. But flaking, not good. Her loss. Donation went to someone else.

[BlahBlahbLegh]

Can I get some recommendations for CFS and fetish friendly providers please?

[An349]

Saw Piper today, and overall it was a great first visit. Set up the appointment a few hours beforehand, and she was responsive and kept in touch until I got to her incall. After a quick LE check, we chatted as the clothes came off. She was friendly and down to earth. Started with some light kissing, and then she told me to lie down and relax while she gave me a BBBJ. She definitely has some mouth skills, and it was one of the better ones that I've had. She put the cover on, and we went through a variety of very enjoyable positions before the big finish. Cleaned up and talked more as we got dressed. She said that she works 9-5, and doesn't like meeting in the evenings. She is young, cute, has a nice body, and doesn't seem to suffer from the bullshit and drama that a lot of the other girls put us through. As always, YMMV, but I will be repeating.

You can get her number and rates here, and she does look like her pictures:

https://escortbabylon.net/posts_list/3146190004/1

[Stl26]

She didn't move and is available.

I got there and she blew me off. Smh.