General Reports

**Jethrow1** · 09-16-11 06:43

I visited a friend in NYC once and he took me to a French restaurant for dinner.

We had 6 courses and when it came to the last course I said to the mait-are-dee I'm stuffed.

But he and my friend insisted that I try the house specialty.

So out comes this cute little gal with a bowl of peaches, she sits on the edge of a chair and the the maitradee forks a peach slice then lifts the skirt of this gal and swabs it around in her pussy then places it on my plate.

Outraged I said "do you expect me to eat that peach"

The maitradee says no missur you eat the Pussay

**Mystical0945** · 09-16-11 01:22

Check out the sign the guy is holding up, all of those damn women turn around I can only guess what kind of hell he is in for. LOL

**Marc70** · 09-16-11 00:19

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl [View Original Post]

Baby that was to fucking funny.

Yes it was.

Marc

**Mystical0945** · 09-15-11 21:51

Originally Posted by Austins66 [View Original Post]

Three Mice.

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says,"When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams each glass into the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse.

The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two,"I don't have time for this bullshit. I got to go home and fuck the cat."

Austin

I am still laughing. Glad to see other folks are having fun on here as well. LOL.

XOXOXOXO

**JerseyGirl** · 09-15-11 19:25

Originally Posted by Austins66 [View Original Post]

Three Mice.

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says,"When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams each glass into the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse.

The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two,"I don't have time for this bullshit. I got to go home and fuck the cat."

Austin

Baby that was to fucking funny.

**Austins66** · 09-15-11 19:07

Three Mice.

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says,"When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams each glass into the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse.

The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two,"I don't have time for this bullshit. I got to go home and fuck the cat."

Austin

**Member #4450** · 09-15-11 14:59

A long time ago I saw this girl on I drive, we had a great time and when I looked for her I never found another ad. Can anyone tell me what happened to her? I loved her sexy outfit (in our visit) and she was very fun. Would like to see her again if anyone knows. Thnks.

http://eroticservices.vibe.com/escor...=view&p=669733

**ThatOneChick** · 09-14-11 23:44

Originally Posted by Banny Boyle [View Original Post]

Thanks for coming over. I enjoyed your company. Andy from Aka

I enjoyed yours as well!

Hopefully, we can do it again soon?

Ashley Z

**Marc70** · 09-14-11 22:35

Originally Posted by Mystical0945 [View Original Post]

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!","I don't care, open it now!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples?","DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back."That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says,"See honey. Its not that hard."

LOL, LOL, LOL

Ashley,

Where in the hell are you getting all of these. I agree this is the best yet.

Marc70

**Austins66** · 09-14-11 20:32

Originally Posted by OriginalSin [View Original Post]

I always wondered if there was such a thing, like a forum, blog or something to that nature, that would have discussions about this topic. Low and behold!

Hey everyone, just want to introduce myself, I am OriginalSin, I am a total newbie at this and I'm glad I found this place. In fact, I am so new, you could even call me a "virgin!" LOL! (not literally). I have not been with any service provider YET! Anyway, I've been contemplating this lifestyle for awhile now and I have not yet pulled the trigger, primarily for fear of getting arrested. Also did not want to go through the headache of being scammed or robbed. I'm sure all of you share my sentiment.

I am also kinda picky and don't want to be with just ANY provider. I like quality GFE types, that don't charge an arm and a leg. LOL.

So, with that being said, I want to thank you all in advance for any advice or tips and for all your reviews.

Welcome OriginalSin. I would like to start out with the first piece of advice. Most everyone here has heard it when first joining our little community. RTFF = Read the Fucking Forum. This as a newbie is your requirement. It is in a sense your homework. There is a wealth of information to be had. There are many great people here and with some patience and a little research you will really enjoy this site. Have fun.

Be safe.

Austin

**OriginalSin** · 09-14-11 17:57

I always wondered if there was such a thing, like a forum, blog or something to that nature, that would have discussions about this topic. Low and behold!

Hey everyone, just want to introduce myself, I am OriginalSin, I am a total newbie at this and I'm glad I found this place. In fact, I am so new, you could even call me a "virgin!" LOL! (not literally). I have not been with any service provider YET! Anyway, I've been contemplating this lifestyle for awhile now and I have not yet pulled the trigger, primarily for fear of getting arrested. Also did not want to go through the headache of being scammed or robbed. I'm sure all of you share my sentiment.

I am also kinda picky and don't want to be with just ANY provider. I like quality GFE types, that don't charge an arm and a leg. LOL.

So, with that being said, I want to thank you all in advance for any advice or tips and for all your reviews.

**Eelectri** · 09-14-11 17:52

Ashley! Your jokes are great and would like to keep reading and cracking up every time I read them

Please keep them coming! You are great.

Ee

**Mystical0945** · 09-14-11 14:33

Originally Posted by Luckycowboy58 [View Original Post]

A man took his wife to the zoo. It was a late fall day in the northeast and a slight chill in the air so she wore a light top coat to protect herself. They approached the cage with the gorilla. The gorilla took one look at her and began to jump up and down and pound his chest. He was excited! The husband quickly noted and told his wife how excited the gorilla was to see her. He then suggested she open the coat flip up he top and flash her tits. She obliged. The gorilla went ballistic! Same routine jumping screaming and chest pounding. Of course next the husband wanted the gorilla to see the kitty. She slips out of everything except the coat flashed the gorilla and all hell broke loose. Sounded like the whole jungle erupted! Gorilla had totally lost it. Husband grabbed wife by arm, opened cage door threw her in and said "now. Tell him you have a headache"

I love this one, I am so glad you posted it!

**Luckycowboy58** · 09-14-11 13:38

A man took his wife to the zoo. It was a late fall day in the northeast and a slight chill in the air so she wore a light top coat to protect herself. They approached the cage with the gorilla. The gorilla took one look at her and began to jump up and down and pound his chest. He was excited! The husband quickly noted and told his wife how excited the gorilla was to see her. He then suggested she open the coat flip up he top and flash her tits. She obliged. The gorilla went ballistic! Same routine jumping screaming and chest pounding. Of course next the husband wanted the gorilla to see the kitty. She slips out of everything except the coat flashed the gorilla and all hell broke loose. Sounded like the whole jungle erupted! Gorilla had totally lost it. Husband grabbed wife by arm, opened cage door threw her in and said "now. Tell him you have a headache"

**Scarvnl** · 09-14-11 13:02

http://orlando.backpage.com/FemaleEs...you-22/5155408

Any info on this cutie? Haven't seen her anywhere before and don't want to make a "rookie" mistake.