Seeking Arrangement

Just like the title says, talk about Seeking Arrangement and other sugar daddy dating website.

I am wondering whether most of you members who are SA advocates are single or have an SO. Recognizing that success using SA is more about taking the time to cultivate relationships and going on actual dates, rather than angling for the quickest wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, I would like to hear from those members who are already in a relationship -- how do you manage and explain the time spent away from your SO?

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3663364]I am wondering whether most of you members who are SA advocates are single or have an SO. Recognizing that success using SA is more about taking the time to cultivate relationships and going on actual dates, rather than angling for the quickest wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, I would like to hear from those members who are already in a relationship -- how do you manage and explain the time spent away from your SO?[/QUOTE]I was wondering the same thing, actually, do the SA girls prefer single, or do they not care if you're married.

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3663364]I am wondering whether most of you members who are SA advocates are single or have an SO. Recognizing that success using SA is more about taking the time to cultivate relationships and going on actual dates, rather than angling for the quickest wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, I would like to hear from those members who are already in a relationship -- how do you manage and explain the time spent away from your SO?[/QUOTE]The girls prefer that the profile reflect your status as single. If they inquire, just tell them that you have a situation that's 'complicated'. That usually ends further inquiry on their part.

There is no need to go on an actual "date". As deep as you eed to go is an initial "coffee date" at starbucks. Firm up the price per "date" and make your arrangements to meet them at a hotel. Most can; t hosr as they don't have their own place. They live with mom or roommates.

[QUOTE=JoeDocks11;3663487]The girls prefer that the profile reflect your status as single. If they inquire, just tell them that you have a situation that's 'complicated'. That usually ends further inquiry on their part.

There is no need to go on an actual "date". As deep as you eed to go is an initial "coffee date" at starbucks. Firm up the price per "date" and make your arrangements to meet them at a hotel. Most can; t hosr as they don't have their own place. They live with mom or roommates.[/QUOTE]I'm honest about my marital status and it doesn't appear to limit the field too much. I agree that a coffee or lunch date is the most that is needed for them to feel "safe. " Many go straight to hotel.

[QUOTE=JoeDocks11;3663487]The girls prefer that the profile reflect your status as single. If they inquire, just tell them that you have a situation that's 'complicated'. That usually ends further inquiry on their part.

There is no need to go on an actual "date". As deep as you eed to go is an initial "coffee date" at starbucks. Firm up the price per "date" and make your arrangements to meet them at a hotel. Most can; t hosr as they don't have their own place. They live with mom or roommates.[/QUOTE]The first girl meet from the meet me at a bar by my house and had one drink and she said let's go do this.

[QUOTE=LohnDog;3663660]The first girl meet from the meet me at a bar by my house and had one drink and she said let's go do this.[/QUOTE]That's very common. Some ask right up front, "Are we going to have fun after the drinks". Most don't want to go straight to the hotel for the first meeting because they view themselves as good girls just making a few extra bucks.

Sorry Drews4, I clicked on delete post by mistake.

Yes you can use a pre-paid Visa gift card. You don't have to use your real name when joining the site.

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3663364]I am wondering whether most of you members who are SA advocates are single or have an SO.[/QUOTE]I'm going to say most guys have a SO.

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3663364]Recognizing that success using SA is more about taking the time to cultivate relationships and going on actual dates, rather than angling for the quickest wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.[/QUOTE]I disagree, IMO half the women on SA are undercover hookers.

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3663364]I would like to hear from those members who are already in a relationship -- how do you manage and explain the time spent away from your SO?[/QUOTE]Poker. This also explains why I come home broke LOL.

[QUOTE=HoldenCaul;3663366]I was wondering the same thing, actually, do the SA girls prefer single, or do they not care if you're married.[/QUOTE]They prefer money.

[QUOTE=JoeDocks11;3663487]The girls prefer that the profile reflect your status as single. If they inquire, just tell them that you have a situation that's 'complicated'. That usually ends further inquiry on their part.

There is no need to go on an actual "date". As deep as you eed to go is an initial "coffee date" at starbucks. Firm up the price per "date" and make your arrangements to meet them at a hotel. Most can; t hosr as they don't have their own place. They live with mom or roommates.[/QUOTE]I like to meet at a hotel with a bar in it. One drink and then some small talk, if we click off we go. Meeting at the hotel bar sets the tone for what I want to do.

[QUOTE=LohnDog;3663660]The first girl meet from the meet me at a bar by my house and had one drink and she said let's go do this.[/QUOTE]Was it the 29th and rent was due on the 30th LOL.

[QUOTE=FCooper;3663498]I'm honest about my marital status and it doesn't appear to limit the field too much. I agree that a coffee or lunch date is the most that is needed for them to feel "safe. " Many go straight to hotel.[/QUOTE]Nice first post FCooper, I hope you share more. .

[QUOTE=JoeDocks11;3663761]That's very common. Some ask right up front, "Are we going to have fun after the drinks". Most don't want to go straight to the hotel for the first meeting because they view themselves as good girls just making a few extra bucks.[/QUOTE]So true. In their minds its not hooking.

[QUOTE=LohnDog;3662793]It's great already meet up with two young clean not drugged out sexy girls.[/QUOTE]How much and how much time did you spend with them?

I have arranged a few decent females from mocospace com mostly a black homosexual site now, but there are plenty of serious young black females that are single, available and looking for some sort of relationship. Some will just chat, or go out for dinner, or hang out to drink / smoke. Some would be very happy to have a good friend with benefits. Some would meet a definition of a car girl using P2 P in conversation and possibly after establishing trust will goto a paid dinner, concert or sleepover. Some are difficult females either not actively dating, men haters, or jaded. Many are not 100% female on moco but typically identify with ts in their name. There are some cut and dry, right or wrong views, but most blur the line regarding what P2 P means. A young urban female can establish status with family or friends by using survivor style maneuvers to improve who they date and who they can call in favors from. I've seen this in mail order bride sites, but the ladies are just miles away.

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3663364]I am wondering whether most of you members who are SA advocates are single or have an SO. Recognizing that sucs using SA is more about taking the time to cultivate relationships and going on actual dates, rather than angling for the quickest wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, I would like to hear from those members who are already in a relationship -- how do you manage and explain the time spent away from your SO?[/QUOTE]I list my status as married, and even sometimes ask the girl if she's ok chatting with a married guy. Some don't realize it at first. I don't use SA as a replacement for BP, I like to build a little relationship with the girls. That's worked out well I'd say, since out of 4 girls I've been with from the site, 3 I did not pay a dime. I say I don't get anything at home and need more, all of which is true, and in most cases the girls feel bad for me and like to help.

It all depends what you're going into it looking for. You can find the girl that will fuck for $100 or spend a little time and got a hot 19 year old maybe for free or worst case for a few hundred you can see her a few times a month.

In terms of finding time, that's where being honest helps. Since I'm married, I say I can only meet during lunch. If they're still talking to you, you know they're already okay with the married thing anyway.

It's amazing how horny these girls are, and submissive. I might have posted this before, but one girl said she wanted to get better at giving head. So she gave it to me and I gave her pointers. All it cost was a room at a shitty motel.

My case is a little different, we have been swingers for a few years and now have an open relationship. So, I can do what I want when I want. My wife doesn't like me building relationships with girls though, just hook up and move along. Girls get clingy. Anyway, I'm always honest with them and it's a good conversation started since it's not a "normal" behavior or arrangement that people come across too often.

I found a couple good ones on SA but never met up with either of them yet. Both were pay per play, slightly more expensive than BP chicks but also about 10 x more normal and not on drugs.

[QUOTE=Nnapmas;3664462]I list my status as married, and even sometimes ask the girl if she's ok chatting with a married guy. Some don't realize it at first. I don't use SA as a replacement for BP, I like to build a little relationship with the girls. That's worked out well I'd say, since out of 4 girls I've been with from the site, 3 I did not pay a dime. I say I don't get anything at home and need more, all of which is true, and in most cases the girls feel bad for me and like to help.

It all depends what you're going into it looking for. You can find the girl that will fuck for $100 or spend a little time and got a hot 19 year old maybe for free or worst case for a few hundred you can see her a few times a month.

In terms of finding time, that's where being honest helps. Since I'm married, I say I can only meet during lunch. If they're still talking to you, you know they're already okay with the married thing anyway.

It's amazing how horny these girls are, and submissive. I might have posted this before, but one girl said she wanted to get better at giving head. So she gave it to me and I gave her pointers. All it cost was a room at a shitty motel.[/QUOTE]This is the response I was looking for, this and the one from Checkers123; and apologies for my inexact phrasing of my question. Yes, I was more interested in hearing how the married guys explain their whereabouts to their wives; not so much how they explain their marital status to young women on SA. I kind of figured SA girls don't really care whether we are married or single. I was expecting the time investment in a girl from SA would be much greater and also less convenient than with a typical SP. My former ATF, for example, knew all about my situation and worked with me to stay unnoticed; but she was also near enough that I could visit her on my way home from work, or see her early on weekends. I am not so hopeful that the college girls on SA would be so conveniently located or accommodating, so I welcome stories from members that enlighten me.

One aspect confused me -- one poster says there is an $80 per month membership fee, and another said it is all free -- so which is true?

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3665025]

One aspect confused me -- one poster says there is an $80 per month membership fee, and another said it is all free -- so which is true?[/QUOTE]The $80 is for premium membership. Standard (free) membership only allows you 10 messages and then only if you have a public photo. Further, SA says they monitor those messages to make sure you don't communicate contact info. Also, I don't think you can read incoming messages. I get the premium membership only when I need to replenish my rotation. You should only have to get the premium membership for one month unless you want to constantly see new people.

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3665025]This is the response I was looking for, this and the one from Checkers123; and apologies for my inexact phrasing of my question. Yes, I was more interested in hearing how the married guys explain their whereabouts to their wives; not so much how they explain their marital status to young women on SA. I kind of figured SA girls don't really care whether we are married or single. I was expecting the time investment in a girl from SA would be much greater and also less convenient than with a typical SP. My former ATF, for example, knew all about my situation and worked with me to stay unnoticed; but she was also near enough that I could visit her on my way home from work, or see her early on weekends. I am not so hopeful that the college girls on SA would be so conveniently located or accommodating, so I welcome stories from members that enlighten me.

One aspect confused me -- one poster says there is an $80 per month membership fee, and another said it is all free -- so which is true?[/QUOTE]You have to be a premium member to send messages or read messages from girls, and that's $80 for 30 days. The shitty thing is you can't even read old messages you've received once the 30 days are up. So if a girl sends you her number in a message, make you record it somewhere else.

[QUOTE=Nnapmas;3665183]You have to be a premium member to send messages or read messages from girls, and that's $80 for 30 days. The shitty thing is you can't even read old messages you've received once the 30 days are up. So if a girl sends you her number in a message, make you record it somewhere else.[/QUOTE]I second that. I've had limited success on SA and use it along with all the other venues. Once you click with a girl on SA, get a number, or pay another 80 per month to keep talking via the SA message system.

Also, be honest in your profile. These girls know what the game is, just be honest and not a creeper and you will get to bang a hotter class chick than you would on BP or CL.

[QUOTE=Nnapmas;3665183]You have to be a premium member to send messages or read messages from girls, and that's $80 for 30 days. The shitty thing is you can't even read old messages you've received once the 30 days are up. So if a girl sends you her number in a message, make you record it somewhere else.[/QUOTE]Try Whats Your Price. I've had good luck there. You can buy a shit ton of credits for about 150. Once yoi agree to a date price with a girl, the cost to unlock the messages is 20% of the date price. So a 100 date would be 20 credits. There is not a huge amount of traffic on the site, so you've got to be patient and check in regularly. I also use it for out of town dates and that has worked well. I tell them up front. It's pay for play. Most are down for it and at a reasonable rate.

My approach to contacting women on SA has generally been to avoid anyone that indicates "Moderate" or higher lifestyle expectation. I've occasionally had conversations with women with those expectations when they contact me first, but nothing has ever come of it. I have often wondered if I'm limiting things too much by taking those profile labels too seriously. Perhaps these are women who would accept a reasonable donation, but have put these expectations on their profile hoping to get lucky. Has anyone had any luck with the higher lifestyle expectations. Bringing them in at a reasonable ppm rate?

[QUOTE=FCooper;3667073]My approach to contacting women on SA has generally been to avoid anyone that indicates "Moderate" or higher lifestyle expectation. I've occasionally had conversations with women with those expectations when they contact me first, but nothing has ever come of it. I have often wondered if I'm limiting things too much by taking those profile labels too seriously. Perhaps these are women who would accept a reasonable donation, but have put these expectations on their profile hoping to get lucky. Has anyone had any luck with the higher lifestyle expectations. Bringing them in at a reasonable ppm rate?[/QUOTE]I don't pay much attention to lifestyle expectation. There are some actually looking for 10 k a month, but I've found that to be pretty rare. And you'll know how serious they are pretty quick so it might be worth a few messages, especially if you are attracted to them. For 80 a month, you may as well message any women that catches your eye. The only exception for me is the "no physical" or "cyber only" accounts. I skip those altogether.

[QUOTE=FCooper;3667073]My approach to contacting women on SA has generally been to avoid anyone that indicates "Moderate" or higher lifestyle expectation. I've occasionally had conversations with women with those expectations when they contact me first, but nothing has ever come of it. I have often wondered if I'm limiting things too much by taking those profile labels too seriously. Perhaps these are women who would accept a reasonable donation, but have put these expectations on their profile hoping to get lucky. Has anyone had any luck with the higher lifestyle expectations. Bringing them in at a reasonable ppm rate?[/QUOTE]I didn't limit my search at all around that, I've got another fwb situation lined up in addition to my first one. Both had 5 k+ in their profiles. My cost is a bottle of wine or lunch or something and then hours of fun.

I haven't done ppm and don't have any reason to at the moment.

Someone asked about explaining absences, I'm divorced now but I would just say you're at work, you're at a buddies house, join a gym, etc.

I've also had much better success with the 25+ crowd, maybe it's just that I don't care to deal with the drama of a 20 year old but I prefer that there is some life experience there, hopefully a stable job, etc.

It makes for much less drama, much fewer calls / texts and no "I need rent money today" type situations.

[QUOTE=Acoustic53;3663364]I am wondering whether most of you members who are SA advocates are single or have an SO. Recognizing that success using SA is more about taking the time to cultivate relationships and going on actual dates, rather than angling for the quickest wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, I would like to hear from those members who are already in a relationship -- how do you manage and explain the time spent away from your SO?[/QUOTE]My "dates" have been 30 minutes for coffee, I have two more lined up this week. I see if I'm interested in continuing and then make a plan to move forward.

I'm debating on cancelling these as I'm sort of busy at work and I have 2 women now that meet all of my needs at the moment so I'm up in the air.

Most of the time cultivating these have been thru some text messages, I set an expectation up front that my time is limited and that I don't always reply for 24 hours or so and I don't expect they do either. This seems to free up a ton of pressure and expectation on these women being able to have their own life.

[QUOTE=EricTheReddit;3667813]I've also had much better success with the 25+ crowd, maybe it's just that I don't care to deal with the drama of a 20 year old but I prefer that there is some life experience there, hopefully a stable job, etc.

It makes for much less drama, much fewer calls / texts and no "I need rent money today" type situations.[/QUOTE]I've actually had a fair amount of success with both, but they are different. I notice quite a bit of difference between the 19-year-olds and the 25-year-olds. My arrangements with the older ones have been more satisfying in the friendship realm. They seem much more like peers (although I am in my 60's). I must say that in the four years or so I've been on SA, I've had the best sex of my life. I've had two arrangements that lasted over 1-1/2 years and a number that lasted several months. Others lasted 1 or 2 dates and just didn't seem to work out.

There was some discussion about how much time SA requires. I agree that it can be time-consuming developing the arrangement, but it's not unpleasant. I would spend less time, I imagine, if my central focus was to get someone in bed as quickly as possible and not really care if they are people I enjoy spending time with. But at my age, I need a fair amount of time in between bouts and I've met a lot of women that I actually enjoyed the downtime with, which I don't think is as true if I didn't spend time getting to know them first. I always intend and hope that arrangements will be ongoing, and they're more likely to be so with some work at the front end. Not everyone wants that, though.

One other thing. I do not have a picture on the site. You can put private pictures on, but I didn't do that because I didn't want to get a lot of picture requests as the first contact that I had with someone, and I didn't want to sour a potential relationship by refusing to give access to my pictures until I decided that the situation was promising. So, I will send pictures on request after conversing a while. That also is a good way to get either their phone number or email. (Most of the girls that age use text rather than email. I used to express a strong preference for email over text, but then I found that many of them don't regularly check their emails.). I used to use a burner phone, but I didn't carry it or turn it on unless I was expecting a message, so I missed a lot of messages. Finally, I got a Hushed number on my cell phone. That's worked pretty well, but my wife never touches my phone. If your SO goes on your phone, she might wonder about the Hushed app.

[QUOTE=LoVecchio;3669487]I've actually had a fair amount of success with both, but they are different. I notice quite a bit of difference between the 19-year-olds and the 25-year-olds. My arrangements with the older ones have been more satisfying in the friendship realm. They seem much more like peers (although I am in my 60's). I must say that in the four years or so I've been on SA, I've had the best sex of my life. I've had two arrangements that lasted over 1-1/2 years and a number that lasted several months. Others lasted 1 or 2 dates and just didn't seem to work out.

There was some discussion about how much time SA requires. I agree that it can be time-consuming developing the arrangement, but it's not unpleasant. I would spend less time, I imagine, if my central focus was to get someone in bed as quickly as possible and not really care if they are people I enjoy spending time with. But at my age, I need a fair amount of time in between bouts and I've met a lot of women that I actually enjoyed the downtime with, which I don't think is as true if I didn't spend time getting to know them first. I always intend and hope that arrangements will be ongoing, and they're more likely to be so with some work at the front end. Not everyone wants that, though.

One other thing. I do not have a picture on the site. You can put private pictures on, but I didn't do that because I didn't want to get a lot of picture requests as the first contact that I had with someone, and I didn't want to sour a potential relationship by refusing to give access to my pictures until I decided that the situation was promising. So, I will send pictures on request after conversing a while. That also is a good way to get either their phone number or email. (Most of the girls that age use text rather than email. I used to express a strong preference for email over text, but then I found that many of them don't regularly check their emails.). I used to use a burner phone, but I didn't carry it or turn it on unless I was expecting a message, so I missed a lot of messages. Finally, I got a Hushed number on my cell phone. That's worked pretty well, but my wife never touches my phone. If your SO goes on your phone, she might wonder about the Hushed app.[/QUOTE]You and I seem similar in terms of our age and approach. I recently tried to count the number of women I've met on SA. It's a little over 30 I think. I've also had a few that lasted over a year (all late 20's), but right now I have 2 in rotation that are both awesome and under 25. A third, the best sex I've ever had, ended recently. She was also under 25. I discontinued using age as a filter awhile ago when I realized how many exceptions there are to any generalizations we make about age.

I also like to enjoy the down time and enjoy the initial time put into establishing an arrangement with the exception of the many times I've been stood up. In some arrangements I've had we actually start with about an hour of drinking wine and discussing our lives before getting into it.

I do have a private photo and you are right, it leads to many photo requests with no message.

It almost seems to good to be true!! I think I am going to take to plunge. Seems like there are a whole lot of lot prettier and cleaner than many of the BP girls.

[QUOTE=Drews4;3679100]It almost seems to good to be true!! I think I am going to take to plunge. Seems like there are a whole lot of lot prettier and cleaner than many of the BP girls.[/QUOTE]That is the understatement of the year.

I haven't even considered a BP or CL girl since I joined SA and I only spent a month on there.

[QUOTE=LoVecchio;3669487]I've actually had a fair amount of success with both, but they are different. I notice quite a bit of difference between the 19-year-olds and the 25-year-olds. My arrangements with the older ones have been more satisfying in the friendship realm. They seem much more like peers (although I am in my 60's). I must say that in the four years or so I've been on SA, I've had the best sex of my life. I've had two arrangements that lasted over 1-1/2 years and a number that lasted several months. Others lasted 1 or 2 dates and just didn't seem to work out.

There was some discussion about how much time SA requires. I agree that it can be time-consuming developing the arrangement, but it's not unpleasant. I would spend less time, I imagine, if my central focus was to get someone in bed as quickly as possible and not really care if they are people I enjoy spending time with. But at my age, I need a fair amount of time in between bouts and I've met a lot of women that I actually enjoyed the downtime with, which I don't think is as true if I didn't spend time getting to know them first. I always intend and hope that arrangements will be ongoing, and they're more likely to be so with some work at the front end. Not everyone wants that, though.

One other thing. I do not have a picture on the site. You can put private pictures on, but I didn't do that because I didn't want to get a lot of picture requests as the first contact that I had with someone, and I didn't want to sour a potential relationship by refusing to give access to my pictures until I decided that the situation was promising. So, I will send pictures on request after conversing a while. That also is a good way to get either their phone number or email. (Most of the girls that age use text rather than email. I used to express a strong preference for email over text, but then I found that many of them don't regularly check their emails.). I used to use a burner phone, but I didn't carry it or turn it on unless I was expecting a message, so I missed a lot of messages. Finally, I got a Hushed number on my cell phone. That's worked pretty well, but my wife never touches my phone. If your SO goes on your phone, she might wonder about the Hushed app.[/QUOTE]No one every touches my phone but there is a way to hide apps without them showing up on your home screen.

Have you experienced SBs pressuring you for the first meet? I just started using the site and made connections with a few SBs. A few that I said I would be interested in meeting up immediately wanted to meet that day or night. If I said I couldn't they ask for next day and so on. Got pretty annoying. How do you guys set up the first meet?

[QUOTE=PowerHouse1;3680576]Have you experienced SBs pressuring you for the first meet? I just started using the site and made connections with a few SBs. A few that I said I would be interested in meeting up immediately wanted to meet that day or night. If I said I couldn't they ask for next day and so on. Got pretty annoying. How do you guys set up the first meet?[/QUOTE]I think the ones that push for a meeting that day are the ones that see SA as a substitute for BP. They need money now and are putting that offer out to a lot of men. I just ignore those messages. I do try to arrange a meeting fairly quickly after a couple of messages because I don't want to get into endless messaging / texting. That usually means that I offer a day when I'm available. Usually a few days from the initial messages.

[QUOTE=FCooper;3680986]I think the ones that push for a meeting that day are the ones that see SA as a substitute for BP. They need money now and are putting that offer out to a lot of men. I just ignore those messages. I do try to arrange a meeting fairly quickly after a couple of messages because I don't want to get into endless messaging / texting. That usually means that I offer a day when I'm available. Usually a few days from the initial messages.[/QUOTE]Mine depends on the situation, one I met within 3 days of being on the site and another it took over a month because of schedules but she was worth the wait.

I do the same, "I'm free to meet for coffee on Tuesday between 10-12, does that work for you?" If not, they will tell me a time or move on. You can get a pretty good vibe thru text or a quick phone call as to who might be a good match for your parameters.

Completely agree on the ones demanding a meet, that happens on my schedule not theirs and they are likely doing just as FC says, just putting cash offers out for a lot of different guys. I turned one down because of distance and schedule issues, she responded with "how am I supposed to pay my bills next month?" lol

I bought a pre paid visa card to pay for the membership to be safe and I can't get it to take it!

[QUOTE=Drews4;3682601]I bought a pre paid visa card to pay for the membership to be safe and I can't get it to take it![/QUOTE]At least you can use the card for everyday expenses like groceries or gas. Maybe try a PayPal account?

I tried using PayPal to use the pre paid card. They still require your phone number and address?? Tried making one up and didn't work. To risky giving my number or address!

[QUOTE=Drews4;3685249]I tried using PayPal to use the pre paid card. They still require your phone number and address?? Tried making one up and didn't work. To risky giving my number or address![/QUOTE]Merchant processing systems commonly use that info to verify with banks that you are the cardholder and didn't steal the card.

Some only require a ZIP code but not all.