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December 17, 2003 Washington, DC. SEA Roundtable Report
After much provocation combined with ample doses of admiration and disrespect, your humble lowlife, sleazeball, ho-hopping reporter respectfully submits this report of the events of the evening of December 9, 2003.
Arrived at Archie's 25 minutes late in a panic even after lucking out with an A-1 parking spot right in front. I walked up and down the room repeatedly, not looking at the lovelies on stage, and only at the patrons. Probably freaked out a few of them who thought I might be a private dick working for one of their wives. No LL. Doorman had no knowledge of secret password ("The birds, they fly south in the winter."). Fuck!!! So, I sat at the bar and tried to act inconspicuous. The bar tender finally found me and I had to buy something or else I'd be ejected, and it was too damn cold to wait on the sidewalk. $7.95 for a bottle of water gentlemen, plus a $2.00 tip. Even if it comes tarted up in cobalt blue glass, it's still just fucking water. I tried to negotiate with her, that I'd just sit and tip her instead of drinking, but that one didn't fly. I waited and enjoyed the scorchingly hot lithe and lovely lady on the center stage Finally, I spied LL harumphing up and down the narrow aisle, shouldering aside any and all that impeded his progress like a linebacker marching through foam. At last! LL introduced me to Hondo and we tried to read each other's lips as we stood next to the blaring juke box. Scorpio had been waiting at the other end of the bar and presumably drooling into his drink. Archie's is a great place to drool gents, but don't touch! What the fuck's the point in that? Just a place for wannabe badboys. At last, we were four.
The short walk to Clicks in relative quite allowed us an opportunity to chat about our exploits a bit. Hondo regaled me with his innocent tales of overpaying for SW's while I kept my own council. LL & Scorp recounted their Thai tastes and visits, and gave me pointers on my planed trip to the region.
The events at Clicks deserve some elaboration. The self-proclaimed "American Wh#re" what warmed my hands and lap is probably in her late 30's and has more miles on her than your average over the road tractor trailer rig. She plopped down on me after deciding my hands were cold and that I should warm them an her arse, as Hondo reported. Wide ass, short skirt, loud mouth (which she claimed would give the best bj we'd ever had). While older providers often bring years of experience in their craft, this one seemed to be more of the "hurry up and cum or pay me more money" variety. One of the other patrons of Clicks asked her if she was the lot lizard he'd seen at the truck stop in Jessup. She did the kind of double-take that can only indicate surprise at being found out. Fellows, she is that type, jagged around the edges, herpes sores on her face, sandpaper in her pussy. Claimed to be down from NJ visiting her friend, a younger clone of her, who was entertaining another gent at the bar. She bent over and mooned her pussy at us by raising her skirt and giving us a peak through her panty hose. Hose on hos. Didn't take a closer look, but she seems like the type that tears a hole in the front for easy access when she's working. As Scorpio might exclaim, she was real horror show.
But the question on all of your lips must be, "But would you fucker her Robux?" Definitely, if only to shut her up for a while by putting my dick in her mouth, and to verify her claims to being fabulous at it. But not for the $60 she started negotiating for. LL had it about right, beginning with the price of her $6 drink. I'd have given her $20 up front and boxed her in for the rest as a tip if her service was as good as she claimed. I'd have gone $30 tops and fucked her friend, too, for another $30, but I'm afraid they'd have creased my car's sheet metal and damaged my suspension when I fucked them across the hood since neither of them would have fit in the back seat. Hell, it's my MongerMobile(TM), so I don't really care about that. Still, I'm sure I've had better for less. But alas, on this particular evening I was, as LL called me, Nobux. Boo hoo hoo.
When it came time to leave Clicks I thought it would be my time to depart, but the gang convinced me to come up and see the line up, and I'm very glad I did. The events occurred much as you have read them as posted by Scorp, Hondo and LL. While waiting for the last line up with Scorp after LL got underway with his lady, I spied Mimi. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! She was giggly in the lineup as she stood next to Kelli and my jaw must have bounced off the floor three or 4 times. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! (this bears repeating) Gents, I will definitely save up my loose change and sell those empty beer cans to the recycler so I have enough cash to sample that lovely!
Now, LL, "I do like it rough", and you are a "wimp" for pampering yourself every time you get a case of yellow fever, but that's beside the point. To clarify Hondo's presumption of my cost/value breakdown, let's do the math. With FS from my average date ranging from $30 to $40 for a 5 to 8 (real world) compared to what you spend ($150) to get laid once by a 10 (if you're lucky) at an AMP, please refer to the following chart:
#of Dates____Unit Price____Ext. Price____Unit Quality____Ext. Quality
____1________$150________$150_________10____________10
____5__________30_________150__________5____________25
____4__________40_________160__________7____________28
Without even taking into account any other benefits, this chart makes it plain that I come out with considerably more quality in aggregate for my money, even if individual providers are not stellar performers. Wait, who the fuck am I kidding? Even if I had the money I'd still be a bottom feeder. I just like it rough! "Attention K-Mart shoppers!!!"
Upon leaving Downtown, I did stop back at Clicks to take a leak. No, I didn't tell WES where you guys had gone, even though he tried repeatedly. I told them you hadn't given me permission to disclose that information. Seems he had an idea anyway.
The evenings awards go as follows: The "Big Balls" trophy definitely goes to LL for taking his warden on a mongering trip to the Land of Smiles. Attaboy!!!! Scorp gets the "Soooper Stud" trophy for his off-site mongering with multiple AMP girls from the same AMP. Honda's reputation for long-running performance earns him the JD Powers Award for Reliability for going two full rounds after midnight with Jennifer. These guys are hard core, and I am humbled and honored to call them brothers in mongering.
Robux
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Damn sawbux,
I write this with tears in my eyes - from laughing my ass off. Excellent prose and the wit is worthy of the best of reports.
Highly interesting cost value analysis. Proves numbers can prove damn near anything... Still, let me plug in the numbers:
#of Dates____Unit Price____Ext. Price____Unit Quality____Ext. Quality
____6________$25________$150_________10____________60 :D
Just as I thought, Thailand has the USA beat when you consider either your system or Hondo's...
LoveLOS
PS: Despite the numbers, Mimi is my next target, beware ;)
PISS: Happie, read back about three weeks and you will see a report by Hondo Lane about a Blk Girl that meets that criteria. He provides a website. Another is Nikki Tender www.nikkitender.com
PSSS: While looking up the website for Mr Smiles, I note that a girl named Kelly @ Olympic that got a great review, and a note that there are two other hotties seen on premisis. Maybe a new Kelly is my next targert ;)
SHit; two targets, too few nights... anybody want to hang with ole LL on a two-spa trip that is sure to rock your pathetic little world... :D Thats what PMs are for, but beware [b]Robux will add you to his wimp list[/b] for pampering yourself! -LL
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Nogreyhairexpresso,
The DC strip scene is all look and no touch, which, IMHO, makes the action a touch hard to negotiate. Of course, anybody is better than me in this department since I don't have the patience to put up with the all-tease/no-please shit that is the specialty of stripper girls.
If you plug in the numbers into anybody's cost value analysis, it comes up pretty shitty:
#of Dates____Unit Price____Ext. Price____Unit Quality____Ext. Quality
____.10________$150________$150_________10____________1*
*Based on getting lucky 1 out of 5 times that you spend $300 at a strip club...
Have fun and good fucking luck,
LoveLOS
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Mongers,
Recently visited Downtown, where I had a satisfactory experience with "Jacki". Upon entrance, I was escorted to the small industrial waiting room, while waiting for a room to be readied. Only a few minutes lapsed before I was greeted by Jacki. While she was attractive, about 5'6'' with an enhanced top, there was not that connection that I was hoping for. Started with the usual shower with appropriate attention paid to the right places. This was followed by a quick visit to the dry sauna. All the while, questions of my prior visit, who I was with etc., clearly to establish my privious history. This was followed by a rather long massage, which I had to interrupt with signs that other activities would be appreciated. Once understood, things proceeded nicely, with all bases being covered. I never felt that "click", in fact ended by hand, which was a first, but YRMV.
All in all, an ok experience, but would not repeat with this one.
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NoHair,
You're better off driving 45 minutes or so to Baltimore's Block where you can easily get any and all action you want either in the clubs or outside them.
When I was a young man and the DC strip clubs were all along 14th street it was the same in DC but those days are long gone.
If you are a high roller and want to spend the time and money, you can "date" some of the DC girls but not many and you're gonna pay through the ass. Better off simply going the escort route in DC which is excellent
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Ho Ho Ho,
This humble narator has been busy this past week hooking up with one of the local strippers [off her work premise] for a change of scenary [uhh...actually more like a change of flavor in the punnie tang] from the usual DC's Korean poons to our red blood American white stripper. Note to LL: White meats can be delicious as well if they are fresh, sizzling, and less than 25 yo. I guess I sometimes have that 'Creamy Withdrawl Syndrome' similar to your 'Yellow Fever', huh? Like I have mentioned sometimes ago, I monger to help reduce the 'racial gap' among all the hot looking snatches, and I don't mind suffering for my art. Too bad about that little Kelli at Downtown being on her 'vacation', huh? I need to be tied up and skinned alive [roll around in salt] for not serving her my exclusive recipe of Scorpio's 'LoveCheese', huh? BTW, 'Shit Eating Grin to be exact' is correct sir. Heck, I was eating that little Mimi's chocolate starfish for a good while, I apologize for my face looking like a 'Glazed Donut' when you saw me walking down the road after my wall-to-wall session with her. Yo, I might be down for a dose of stranger's poon next week [if I can get away from my woman at home]. I will PM you later.
Kimmosab:
No need to compete my monger brotha! There are plenty of young and gullible foreign ladies to hustle from around here if you play your card right. The thing is to get them to pay for your time and companionship when they are off premises. It takes a real sleaze to be a sleaze hustling on these lovelies' vulnerabilities and insecurities. Fuck trying to be their 'sugar daddy' man. We already provide them with gratuities at their workshops, so when they are not working [ho-ing], they should spend some of their good benjamins for my time in return, right? But, yeah, digits are good to collect and give out for off premise nookies. Just don't be one of them 'sugar daddies' though, unless you like to empty out your wallet to show off to these girls [but then that's your choice].
Robux:
Man, your report cracked me up. You are a true perv and I was glad to accept the brotherhood of mongering honor from you bro. Oh yeah, run and serve Mimi at Downtown this month [she told me she will probably take her vacation in January] and give her rough spanking [or she would do it to her own ass if you neglect to give her some, dig?]. Don't forget to do a 'reverse cowgirl' in front of the mirror either. I sure did and it was a nice porno style view [make sure you pay attention to her facial expression while she is getting porked because it is priceless like a MasterCard TV ad]. BTW, you, LL, and Hondo should go check out either Dupont [aka Supra] or CPHC also. These two fine dining establishments have several tasty Korean dishes that true AMP fiends like you mongers must try. I surely did and they have been good hunting ground for the so-called 'young & gullible' lovelies, if you will.
Still Kickin' It,
Scorpio Rising
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I come to DC on business and just read a number of reports on the Downtown Spa. Could someone give me an address and tell me where it is? Which AMP's are the best there? And what to expect to pay? And if there are other places I should consider? I will be in DC in January. Thanks
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Dear Fore10 - directions to Downtown Spa plus some comments:
1) I posted detailed directions to Downtown Spa back on Nov. 22, 2002. Since it's now been over a year since that post and since their location is a little tricky, I think it's time to repost them:
Directions: the Downtown Spa is located on the 4th floor of an old building at 1018 Vermont Ave, N.W. Washington, DC, 20005-4973, between K and L, and between 14th and 15th Streets, on the west side of Vermont.
I noticed that a couple of WSG posters had complained about not being able to find the place. One reason why is that there is no sign anywhere for this place. Again, this AMP is located on the 4th floor of an old 4-story building crammed between two taller new office buildings. On the ground floor there is nothing except "1018" on the glass front door and some partially scaped-off gold leaf lettering for an "herb n spice" restaurant that is now closed. There is also a neon sign hanging inside the window to the left of the front door, but the front of the sign is missing and there's no writing on the sign to read. The ground floor lobby inside is also empty, except for a small mailbox that says "4th Floor" - that's the mailbox for the Downtown AMP.
Walking up the stairs is a surreal experience, as you feel as if you're in an abandoned building. There is nothing on the second floor landing except a boarded-up door. On the 3rd floor landing is the door to the herb n spice restaurant, but it is also padlocked and boarded-up. Finally you walk up the stairs to the 4th floor, where you find a wooden door with lots of little credit card stickers on it and a peephole, but no sign, nothing to indicate where you are. Ring the doorbell, and they'll let you in.
2) As you have probably noticed, there have been numerous reports here on WSG about Downtown Spa, which is one of the best AMPs in DC. The going rate is $60 house fee for an hour, plus $100 tip for a fun session with FS. I always pay for a full hour, not a half-hour.
Other spas with decent reports include CPHC, Olympic and 1818, among others. Your best bet is to consult the "DC AMP Summary" that senior WSG Member LoveLOS compiles every few months. There's lots of good info there. His last summary was posted on November 3rd, 2003 - you can find it around 11 pages back of this post.
3) Try this website for lots of good info on visiting an AMP: http://members.lycos.co.uk/ampdude/newpage.html
4) My personal advice:
a) always pay for an hour, NOT the 30 minute option. No point in having things rushed, also many spas won't include a table shower in the 30-minute option. Most spas charge $40 for 30 minutes and $60 for an hour, so the cost difference is not much.
b) always strip down as quickly as possible to totally nude, even if the mamasan hasn't left the room yet after taking the house fee from you. That way they'll know that you're not a cop (I've been told this more than once from both employees and owners of both MPs and AMPs).
c) treat the girl like a girl friend and not a piece of meat. I usually give a hug and kisses on the cheek as soon as I can, also give her a quick shoulder massage while she's standing there, sometimes a quick foot massage.
d) if you know that the place is a full service place (like Downtown), then a good time to leave the tip is right after the table shower, once you've come back to the room but before anything has started. That way the girl knows that you're serious.
e) Don't be cheap and try to nickle 'n dime the girl with your tip. For most AMPs (including Downtown) the expected tip for FS is $100.
f) most places will ask you if you've been there before. I always lie and say yes, unless the place has just opened recently. I usually read WSG ahead of time to research the name of a girl who received good reviews but is not longer there, then I quote that's girl's name by saying "Yes, last time I was with Coco, she was very nice"
g) last and most important, always read WSG ahead of time to acquaint yourself with the place you intend to patronize. That way, you'll not only learn some of the girls' names, but you'll get a good idea of what services are available, and whether the place is HJ-only or FS. Downtown Spa is definitely full service, and the roster of girls seems to change almost weekly there.
Hope that this helps.
Now, the old saying is that nothing is free, that there's no free lunch. As payment for these directions, I request that you post a full detailed report on your AMP session. Don't just say "Had a great time with Jennifer" or "Loved Coco's tits" - I want all the details. Thanks!
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Real good post MightyMan. Any newbies can definitely benefit by reading AND adhering to his advice
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Mighty,
I second the trash on your excellent synopses of how the muscular training establishments in DC operate. Also congrads on your 300th post. Unfortunately I must direct your attention to the last post I made...
[url]http://www.wsgforum.com/vforum/showthread.php?s=&postid=153013&highlight=2029#post153013[/url]
I guess that makes you 75% loser! ;)
Happy hoidays everyone.
LoveLOS
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I was at Tyson's Corner last week and I saw Maya from Downtown shopping in the Mall. She had the short mamasan and her son with her. She saw me and kind of went another way. I think she had her boyfriend with her also. I knew it was her as she was wearing that necklace she always has on. She looked good with very little make up on. She has told me she had a son and lived in Annandale, VA I guess not a lie. Too bad Coco is not around I miss her. She gave the best asian I have ever had. I heard she was in Hawaii from Bebe. Who knows.
Good hunting.
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Greetings, Mongers!
One feels a bit redundant saying anything about Downtown, but I can report that a visit last month to Suzi was great, as usual (I am not from DC, alas). She is always warm and sexy and never seems distracted.
Any recent visits to Supra? Or any other places in the Dupont Circle area? This is convenient for quickies for me. Please advise!
Happy hunting.
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Thanks for description on how to get to Downtown Spearsman. I tried to find the place a few months back, but it was too difficult so I bailed for another place. Hopefully on my next campaign I will be able to locate it with your directions as I have been dying to get in a session there. I owe you a report when I do.
Report on the New World Spa (NWS) in NW DC. It’s located on the corner of 11th and F Street right next to the Popeye’s. The entrance to the spa is on 11th street and is located on the 3rd floor. Just ring the buzzer that reads New World Spa to be buzzed in through the locked door (during off peak hours, I have seen a doorman once who let me in). The door to the stairs will be on your right. Be warned, the smell in the stairwell isn’t the nicest.
I had Happy on my last visit to the NWS. She had a cute but plane face. She was not wearing too much makeup. Her body was average, she was slender with nice small breast probably b cups. She had a good attitude and was looking to please. Her English could have been a little better, but we were still able to communicate. This was my 1st time with her. The TS was nice, she spent a fair amount of time washing my bottom, bean bag, and the guest of honor (which was at full attention during most of the shower). She gave me a little massage with her hands as she soaped the rest of my body.
Back to the room, she gave an adequate massage with some teasing. She had this little dress on and would grind her crotch on my back and legs. She also gave a little reach around massaging my boys while lying on my stomach. While doing this she whispered in my ear what else I would like. I told her I was looking for a little boom boom, and proceeded to care of the financials. She started off by rubbing her boobs all over my back and legs, which lead to Asian, to cbj with lots of ball licking, and the rest of the classic AMP positions. This was one of my better sessions here and I recommend her as she aims to please. She is not a knock out, but more of a sweet girl, which I prefer. She looks like she is in her mid to late 20s and claimed to be 25.
A few tips on the NWS:
1. The mamasan’s name is Connie (or atleast that’s how I pronounce it). She is a very nice lady.
2. Connie will try to put you in the 1st room to the right if not occupied. I hate this room because it has a small bed that’s like 3 and a half feet of the ground. Dingman’s fat ass needs a bigger bed than this for kama gymnastics. Ask her for the room that has a bigger bed, which will be located on the left side of the hallway. It will have a small bed (for the massage) and a mattress on the ground (for boom boom).
3. If you need a previous girl to prove that this isn’t your virgin visit, tell Connie that you last saw Coco in early December (that’s the last time I saw her. Connie told me that Coco has just recently gone to Korea for 2 months).
Thanks again Spearsman. It might take me a few weeks to hit up Downtown, but a review will be posted.
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Love,
Remember, it's quality, not quantity that really counts in life.
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Tried CPHC for the first time. Best AMP experience I've had in a long time. Had Maria(?), on the slim side of chubby, but wonderful, long hand wash (almost to popping point). No massage to speak of, but a direct and extended visit to the pacific rim (as it were) so I wasn't complaining. Great long BJ too (usually quick and purely perfunctory at other establishments) befor covering up and doin the doggie. Very clean environment. At a total of a buck-forty, I'll be back.
Cruis
