Not sure where to put this, or if it will be well received. Thanks!
I have been mongering since a very young age while living overseas. It's been a life long passion. However, I am challenging myself to call it quits. I am still urged to go hunting every day. I want my career to have meant something though, so, please allow me to pass on what I know.
I have tried almost everything from every continent, 1 k date porn stars, backpage, seeking arrangements, massage parlors, brothels, swinger clubs, strip clubs. I will speak entirely of the scene here in the US.
As in any career, a vet looks back at when he was a rookie, and has some keen realizations.
1) Making Videos.
I was never into making them at fist anyway, and the technology really wasnt there, but I've been into them lately and it's easy with HD cell phone gonzo style recording.
Now I realize, if you come off as considerate, caring, a bit entertaining, and are a repeat customer, then a pro girl will do almost anything for you. Let me emphasize that this takes time to establish, 2-3 sessions minimum usually. Sometimes you can do BBFS + gonzo vid on a first encounter, but it is rare. Also emphasize that this is not most girls, you have to vibe right with them and what not.
So, retrospectively, I wish I made more videos. I got a hard drive full of stuff I've been trying to talk myself into deleting, but it's my trophy case.
My opinion: Videos are fun to make and keep and it's way easier than you would think to get a girl to make porn quality videos with you. Massage girls, streetwalkers, classifieds, doesn't matter. No one talks about videos on this site and I don't know why, I'm assuming you guys think like rookie-me and think the girls won't agree to it.
2) BB FTW!
BB is the way to do it! And to my surprise it's on most girls menu, given your relationship with them and their risk tolerance. Rookie-me thought providers would never do BB, rookie-me never asked for BB, veteran-me knows they all do BB, the only question is with how many guys. Veteran-me always.
Insists upon BBBJ at a minimum.
/ STD talk /.
Looking back on it, I never ever caught any serious STDs. When I first started, I was absolutely terrified of STDs, still mongered just did so anxiously. I Covered everything all the time. I got STD tested bi-weekly. Anxious as all hell at first.
My opinion: If you're going to monger, do it to the max! Just be clean and smart as possible, but enjoy yourself and let go of all anxiety.
Protip: (I'm not a doctor but, seems to have done well for me).
ALWAYS WASH YOURSELF BEFORE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY AFTER. Even if at a strip club, or even if doing a car date, run / drive to the nearest bathroom. I don't care if it's a public restroom I will whip my Johnson out over the sink and wash it down with soap several times, then use the air dryer. It gets you a few looks but guys almost always just run away and don't say jack. It's a personal health and safety thing don't be shy fellas. If it's a hotel thing or wherever I always make it clear to the girl I have to shower before and after or no go.
/ STD talk /.
3) False Love.
Remember any relationships you make will not be real. Don' t let yourself get taken advantage of. It actually took me a long time to realize this. So, save yourself some time and heartache, go into this hobby with no expectations of companionship.
Girls are either working for a pimp. Their real lover, or are doing so for drugs. There is no such thing as a stripper working her way through college.
Addicts may not love themselves, and by extension not be able to love you, that said they are rather genuine for the most part.
Some girls work just for the money. These you want to stay away from the most, purely materialistic and lack a soul.
The exception to this is foreign girls, particularly Asians, In China for example, a rural girl with no education can work a menial job for 10 dollars a day. She can do that or make 1000 a day over here. If I could multiply my income by 100 by doing what they do I would. I find nothing morally egregious with their decision. These days I would say 90%+ of these girls are not doing this against their will, it's their choice.
In my experience relationships I've had with foreign Asian girls and domestic working girl addicts have been the "realest". All of those stories you hear about a massage girl running off and getting married?
Most are true. Is that a good idea? No, horrible, but I can understand these relationships feeling the "realest".
Oh, the other notable yet rare exception are girls that were pimped or abused in some harsh way at a young age, and they really don't know anything different. Most have a drug problem, some don't, and they do the work because they don't know anything else and it pays well compared to their other options. These girls are just messed up in the head though, and while your relationship may be able to develop into something real. Stay away. I gave up on my old captain save a ho job. You rookies out.
There. Don't try and save any girl out there, There are two outcomes:
1) she / you fail and you wasted your time / money / heart.
2) she blossoms and leaves your ass once she gets herself together.
4) Lying / misleading activity of fellow mongers.
At first, I always took reviews and stories to be true. Rookies beware. Some posters are just liars, for no good reason, no bad reason, they just like to makeup stories, they like to create an online persona. I will not name names or give examples.
Other posters exaggerate, a little bit, or a lot. No malicious intent here I believe, just bragging too hard or whatever.
A small percentage of posters are basically advertisers, they get free or discounted service from providers, or don't actually see girls at all and just take a fee / commission for advertising.
I figured all of the above to be true from getting to actually know lots of girls and businesses and cross referencing the posts with what actually goes down. Yes girls can lie too but eventually the truth becomes evident.
Part 2.
Now. Here are concerns I have had and I know other rookies have. I will discuss each scenario at length and advise on how to avoid problems and have a good time.
1) Getting robbed.
This has happened to me numerous times, non-verified escorts (backpage for example), streetwalkers, massage parlor girls.
1st things first. Don't be drunk or high on anything while mongering. You are likely to be a victim of a pick pocket at the very least. Also, girls don't like guys drunk or high, they don't finish quickly and are usually rude or obnoxious, so the service may be bad and they have even more reason to fleece you.
2nd thing, be aware of your possessions the entire time, try to not leave your possessions out of sight, and check on your possessions from time to time before you leave.
3rd thing, never enter any situation with any possession you are not willing to lose. Cell phone? Guess what, you should be using a burner prepaid for this activity anyway, no data on there should be worth.
Worrying about. Wedding ring? Any bling bling? Don't bring it with you. Passport? Don't bring it with you. Wallet? Don't bring it with you. Cards? They are ok as you can submit a claim and get your money back. Cash? ONLY BRING DISPOSABLE INCOME.
Scenario (no weapon involved): Strange dude comes out of no where and walks in on you before / after you gave up money or before / after you're naked and vulnerable.
Common scam, "What are you doing with my wife" / "Hey babe who the * is this guy".
In my opinion, said scammers most likely wouldn't ever get violent, you could probably get out of the situation with your money if you want to fight over it That said, I've always given it up, 1st time it happened I was scared and felt robbed. 2nd time I just laughed at the guy and walked out, stress free.
This happens in hotels or apartments, for me it was equally distributed, I don't feel going to a girls apartment is any more dangerous. Actually those make for some of the best encounters. To avoid this scam I would follow my 3 rules above, to minimize your loses. That said, to totally avoid this, do your research, don't just call up any ad and walk in any door, doing that crap is how these situations happen.
Tineye / google reverse image all the pics you see in an ad. Google the phone number. Another trick I would do is have two or four phone numbers, Using apps (e. G. Talkatone) and the prepaid phone. I would call / text at different times throughout the day to the same girl, I would ask questions that would indicate to me certain things. Examples are "Do you offer bareback", "What are your rates" ,"Do you like to party", "Do you offer 2 girl specials, any specials". If a girl discusses particular acts of service, you have an idea what level she is on. If she clearly states she offers bb services, you know what level she's on, if she likes to party, two girls, etc etc. You can also negotiate rates much easier this way. If the girl has a habit, or in general is desperate, you can tell that if she lowers her price later at night, or on a slow Tuesday night. When you're on the phone listen for dudes in the background, a loud tv (hotel room), a car driving (she has a driver and / or pimp). Long story short, the more research you do, the more suspect you are of each and every girl, the safer every encounter you have will be.
Scenario with weapon: Crazy girl pulls a knife on you:
So this only happened to me with street walkers. Either 1 of 3 things, either she planned it the whole time and isn't really a pro street walker, OR she is a crazy desperate fiend and you didn't realize it quick enough OR she expected something from you which she did not receive, in my case this was my fault in part for being a bit unclear, but you have to remember a lot of these girls aren't that bright, your transaction has to be completely 100% clear up front or else she will get pissed off if her expectations aren't met.
How to avoid this? Street sense, an awareness of what a street walker looks like, sounds like, smells like, and acts like. Be extremely careful of a girl that is obviously tweaking or sick looking, do not pick them up, if you do, and don't realize it until she's in your car and the door closes, then you have two options 1) be extremely aggressive and blunt and tell her to immediately GTFO or 2) immediately make up some excuse, wife texted you, or you mistook the girl for someone else, whatever, give her 5.
Dollars or a few ciggs to get out.
Protip: When doing street dates, bring small change, lots of 5's and 10's, giving a girl 25 for head vs.
20 can sometimes be a big different level of service you receive. Also, I don't smoke, but I bring a pack of Newports with me when street mongering. They always seem to gain me brownie points and cost very little, they are nice gestures to street girls.
The other thing you must do, in order to avoid this scenario, is NEVER take directions from the girl, ESPECIALLY if you don't know the area. She may very well be leading you into a trap. IF you don't know the area, and you end up driving in circles, and she is complaining, you offer to drop her back off or she can keep waiting until you find a spot you deem safe.
Another pro-tip: If you know the area well, park up far away from drug corners. Obvious reason being uncle LEO activity. The other reason is the girl has much less incentive to rip you off or give you bad service if she is far from her dealer. If she knows you're willing to take her back to the track after your date then she already has an incentive to do her job (AND without a "tip". That's a whole other section, but screw tips). This also may be obvious, but NEVER pay the girl before the date is done and you are away from the track, otherwise she may very well just leave and get her drugs without a date.
Scenario with weapon: Guy comes out of no where with knife and demands all you got.
In my opinion, this is a hobby you do with disposable income, keyword is disposable. In these situations I just let the money go. The only time it ever happened I was pissed about it, but thought it over, and gave it up willingly. All of my adventures I've never had a gun pulled on me though, so, yeah that's a good thing I guess. I believe the knife is there just to scare but you never know.
2) Getting blackmailed.
This can happen with a girl you have a relationship established already, say she is desperate and needs extra cash or you piss her off somehow whatever.
How to avoid this? Prepaid phone, can't stress this enough, 40 $ a month is a drop in the bucket for a hobbyist. And never let her see your driver license, if for some reason you need to get verified for an escort, use your passport, no address. And obviously don't do outcalls to your house, sometimes hotels are okay, a seasoned girl will want to call the hotel and check you're there, but there are ways around that too.
In summary, keep your identity safe.
The other scenario, is just a scam, I've had this happen once before where I already paid and started a date with one girl in a hotel and a 2nd girl popped out of the bathroom, started taping on her phone (retrospectively I think she was just using a flash light app on her phone, to intimidate me, not actually recording, I don't think cheap phones record video with flash, could be mistaken though) and said how she was going to post it xyz place and everyone would see it blah blah.
How to avoid this? Like I said above, do your research before going to see a girl. Remember, once that hotel door or apartment door closes, you're in their world, they have the upper hand.
3) Getting upsold.
Avoid this by having a clear and understood agreement with the girl before handing over money and initiating service. Prior to this you want to get comfortable, maybe do the friendly LEO dick / titty grab check.
You are paying x for why services and z amount of time.
Simple. If you don't express you want GFE deep kissing, and in the middle of the session you go for it, you want it really bad. And she says no, or worse she says that's extra. You're going to be pissed off but it's your fault.
4) Getting bad service.
This comes down to:
A) doing your research AND.
B) having an agreed upon contract AND.
C) some people reading skills AND.
D) tact, being a "gentleman".
People reading skills are important. For example: You walk into a hotel room, your eyes should be everywhere, your nose should be working, all of your senses have to be alert. Do you see a male brand deodorant in the bathroom? Is the closet door shut? Do you smell smoke? (not 100% indicative, but most drug users smoke, and an uneducated person is more likely to smoke than an educated person) Do you see any signs of needles or baggies of anything? Is the place clean? Is the girl happy? Is she preoccupied? Is she tired?
If you get bad service from a girl you failed at one or all of the above.
5) Getting arrested.
I'm not a lawyer, but I've gotten girls lawyers, and heard lots of stories from lots of different girls – this topic is almost too much to cover. Me personally I've never been arrested, in any country, anywhere.
The closer you are to drugs, like with street walkers, that carries the greatest risk. Want to be very cautious? Drive around the track at the same time of day 5 times, without picking up any girls, wait until you see one that you recognize was walking earlier, you know she is legit.
Other tips: look for "the eye" from a girl, if you make eye contact she wants to talk to you.
Once you pick the girl up, do the cop check and drive a few blocks away from the pickup area to discuss service.
NEVER DO A DATE IN THE CAR. Trying to save a few dollars? 10 dollar crackhead flop spots or get hotel room, it's worth it. You will run into problems eventually the more you keep doing car dates.
Now regarding massage parlors and hotels. Massage parlor there isn't anything you can do, if you get caught up in that, you're just one unlucky SOB. That said, it's rare, very rare, and typically the cops are after the owner / girls and not you, and they won't get anything on you so I don't think anything will stick on you. I've never seen a parlor in the states that has cameras in the room, obviously because they are a liability. Owners are more worried about legal liability than cheap voyeurism or girl management.
Hotel stings happen frequently, and there really isn't a cop check or anything you can do, once they got you on the phone agreeing to pay for play services, and you show up, they arrest you once you knock on the door. The secret here? Do not discuss services over the phone. Ever. Most guys aren't careful, and girls try to not have their time wasted and choose to talk about stuff over the phone even though it's not safe. So, this is what I do, use a VOIP number or a different number, call the girl up, discuss what you want at no risk to you, then call her back on a different number and say you want a date and will be there shortly. Do not discuss services.
Lastly, odd things do happen, and you just got to be cool and calm. Driving and get pulled over? Yes this will happen very frequently. Always have your I'd and papers in order and a clean car before going on a hunt. If the girl is with you, get her name, address, and how you met real quick before the cop comes to the window. Friend of friend? Be specific, "my friend bob is my mechanic and he introduced us a few months ago" "her name is cindy smith she lives around _ we meet up for dinner sometimes".
They separate you both and ask you questions separately. They will say "she said you gave her 100 for sex" or something like that. Did she say that? No. They are trying to trick you, don't believe anything they say and stick to your guns.
I even had cops come in on a hotel backpage date once, right after the date was over, it was quite a surprise. Apparently she got the room under her name and had some sort of warrant on her. No time to get stories straight, so they knew for sure what was going on. If you're stuck like that, NEVER ADMIT LIABILITY. NEVER NEVER ADMIT LIABILITY. But if they know what's going on, be cordial, smile, try and get the officer to laugh. The minute you see an officer crack a smile you're good. They really don't care about busting people over this crap, they got better stuff to do. But if you insult their intelligence or act like a know-it-all lawyer they will get pissed off and bust your balls extra hard.
In summary. Be careful and there is almost no chance you get arrested.
6) Getting caught by partner.
Prepaid phone. I've covered this. Delete browser cache. Leave no evidence. Share finances? Get a prepaid debit card and make a slush fund. Lover wants you to send pics of yourself or follow you with GPS on your phone? Call forwarding, also there are apps for remotely accessing your primary phone if you want to leave it somewhere. Crazy wife puts a gps tracker on your car? They are hard to spot, if you're super paranoid get a GPS / Cell Jammer shipped from abroad. I have no experience dealing with a lady that persistent and nutty, but I do know the RISK of getting caught is part of the fun. Getting caught absolutely sucks though, so whatever it takes, don't get caught.
You can get hide all physical evidence, but eventually your lady is going to know based on your decreased sex drive plus your time away from her. My advice? If you're a monger being a hornball is in your nature, so, if you have to, think about one of your ATFs when you need to get it on. Lastly, get a hobby, and back it up. Golf and shooting work for me. All year round they are good excuses. Never say a "bar" or "a friends" to "watch the game". Anything typically associated with cheating is a bad excuse to come up with.
7) Being / Becoming a pay for play addict.
As a rookie, this isn't something you think can happen. It's like alcoholism, where it sneaks up on you, and everyone has a different definition of how many drinks makes an alcoholic.
At some point you will think about it, my advice, as long as it isn't hurting our current relationship. Or prohibiting you from having one (that you want) - then it's ok. The other is financial - "It's ain't.
Tricking if you got it" - if you have the money it's ok. Also, if you start to think "WHAT YOU WANT 600 DOLLARS TO FIX MY CAR! That's crazy, I could get 4 massages with lingling and get my ass massaged with her tongue" you got a problem when you denominate your purchases with mongering activity.
8) Negotiating prices, finding the best value.
Negotiating is negotiating, takes skill and practice, whether it's a car or a girl.
1) Target girls who lack negotiating skills, girls who just aren't good at it or who are new to the game. Also target girls without pimps or drivers, any hand in her pocket is a hand in yours!
2) Be willing to walk away. Once you're there, the pressure is on her, not you. She has to close the sale. You have all of the bargaining power. After you see her, talk to her, and discuss services, in your head create a "walk-away" price. She will say how much it is, you will counter with the market minimum. Do your research, different cities, different services, different types of girls have different minimums.
Protip: challenge these minimums, AND NEVER OVER PAY YOU RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE ELSE AND LET YOURSELF GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF IN THE PROCESS. For example, Currently 60 dollars seems to be the minimum for a short stay on backpage. Try 40 - with a smile. Never say "it's all I have" or "I have to get my kid braces"; it insults their intelligence and it makes you look like a bum and not able to make regular payments and visits. If you see a girl you like, set the bar low, never raise the bar, never pay more. On the 4th visit she gives you BBFS and the best lay ever? Do not tip, you are setting yourself up for failure. Your repeat business in and of itself is a tip and it is the way you show your appreciation. Repeat business is the lifeline of a girls income, and a way for her to measure her skills in the business.
When you make your counter. Smile - tell her you will throw in a massage or give her an extra good review. Be nice but firm.
For example: One of my all time favorites, super hot, amazing service, she was independent but she wasn't a good negotiator, sweet heart sorta girl, in the business because it was all she knew. First session talked her into 1 hour 100 for BBBJ / covered anal. Saw her countless times after that, 100 was always the standard donation, services always got better, time together longer, donation always the same. If I had gave her the 250 she asked for and kept paying that I would be out thousands of.
Dollars.
