-
Additions to the list
[QUOTE=Donntee;2401794]Originally Posted in San Diego.
Quote Originally Posted by Bwetfan.
I'm starting to think that just about anybody that says "down to earth" is going to suck (in a bad sense, not a using their mouth sense).
On the same note, long ago when I started the hobby, I was doing a little research and had stumbled upon a write up somewhere and I had saved it. I still use it for reference. Helps me decode the ads better.
Apologies in advance for the long ass post.
Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.
To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, [URL]myredbook.com[/URL]'s pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:
BBW = fat.
Voluptuous = fat.
Curvy = fat.
Curvaceous = fat.
Thick = fat.
Rubenesque = fat.
Womanly = fat.
Hourglass = fat.
Supersized = fat.
Pic of face only? = fat.
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.
Gives bra size only? = fat.
Busty = either saggy or fat.
Naturally busty = saggy and fat.
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.
Slim = no boobs.
Svelte = no boobs.
Slender = no boobs.
Dancer's body = no boobs.
Runner = no boobs.
Spinner = no boobs.
Yoga = no boobs.
Bombshell = fake boobs.
Baywatch = fake boobs.
Playboy = fake boobs.
Model = fake boobs.
Brazilian = black.
Butterscotch = black.
Caramel = black.
Chocolate = black.
Creole = black.
Cuban = black.
Dominican = black.
Ebony = black.
Egyptian = black.
Eritrean = black.
Ethiopian = black.
Exotic = black.
Hawaiian = black.
Mahogany = black.
Mocha = black.
Mulatto = black.
Nubian = black.
Mixed = black.
Mature = old.
Courtesan = old.
Gracious = old.
Refined = old.
Elegant = old.
Classic = old.
Conservative = old.
Original = old.
Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's.
Just turned 18 = mid 20's.
19 = possible jailbait.
21 = late 20's.
28 = late 30's.
Intelligent = brunette.
Sorority Girl = blonde.
Selective = overpriced.
Exclusive = very overpriced.
Classy = can't afford lingerie.
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.
Nasty = doesn't shower at all.
Upscale = snooty personality.
All American = all trailer trash.
Princess = I have an attitude problem.
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.
On fire = active herpes outbreak.
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.
Coed = plain looking with acne problem.
Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.
Energetic = methamphetamine addict.
Down to earth = boring.
College graduate = sleeps with professors.
Open minded = openly accepts tips.
Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.
New to business = changed name.
New to area = changed name and moved across bay.
Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.
Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your I'd.
Discrete = I can't spell.
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.
Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.
Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.
Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.
Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.
AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.
You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.
You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.
CMT = good massage, bad sex.
FBSM = bad massage, good sex.
What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:
Unless specified, you can assume:
Hair color = brown.
Hair length = to shoulder.
Eye color = brown.
Age = mature.
Height = short.
Weight = heavy.
Cup size = small.
Measurements = large.[/QUOTE]Not a clock watcher = you're out of here as soon as you pop.
Unforgettable experience = you're getting ripped off.
Unforgettable experience = LEO creates ad, lifetime record.
Pics are real or recent = just not of me.
-
BP Translation Guide
What a great start to my day! I needed that laugh for sure. Thanks for sharing.
[QUOTE=Donntee;2401794]Originally Posted in San Diego.
Quote Originally Posted by Bwetfan.
I'm starting to think that just about anybody that says "down to earth" is going to suck (in a bad sense, not a using their mouth sense).
On the same note, long ago when I started the hobby, I was doing a little research and had stumbled upon a write up somewhere and I had saved it. I still use it for reference. Helps me decode the ads better.
Apologies in advance for the long ass post.
Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.
To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, [URL]myredbook.com[/URL]'s pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:
BBW = fat.
Voluptuous = fat.
Curvy = fat.
Curvaceous = fat.
Thick = fat.
Rubenesque = fat.
Womanly = fat.
Hourglass = fat.
Supersized = fat.
Pic of face only? = fat.
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.
Gives bra size only? = fat.
Busty = either saggy or fat.
Naturally busty = saggy and fat.
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.
Slim = no boobs.
Svelte = no boobs.
Slender = no boobs.
Dancer's body = no boobs.
Runner = no boobs.
Spinner = no boobs.
Yoga = no boobs.
Bombshell = fake boobs.
Baywatch = fake boobs.
Playboy = fake boobs.
Model = fake boobs.
Brazilian = black.
Butterscotch = black.
Caramel = black.
Chocolate = black.
Creole = black.
Cuban = black.
Dominican = black.
Ebony = black.
Egyptian = black.
Eritrean = black.
Ethiopian = black.
Exotic = black.
Hawaiian = black.
Mahogany = black.
Mocha = black.
Mulatto = black.
Nubian = black.
Mixed = black.
Mature = old.
Courtesan = old.
Gracious = old.
Refined = old.
Elegant = old.
Classic = old.
Conservative = old.
Original = old.
Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's.
Just turned 18 = mid 20's.
19 = possible jailbait.
21 = late 20's.
28 = late 30's.
Intelligent = brunette.
Sorority Girl = blonde.
Selective = overpriced.
Exclusive = very overpriced.
Classy = can't afford lingerie.
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.
Nasty = doesn't shower at all.
Upscale = snooty personality.
All American = all trailer trash.
Princess = I have an attitude problem.
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.
On fire = active herpes outbreak.
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.
Coed = plain looking with acne problem.
Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.
Energetic = methamphetamine addict.
Down to earth = boring.
College graduate = sleeps with professors.
Open minded = openly accepts tips.
Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.
New to business = changed name.
New to area = changed name and moved across bay.
Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.
Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your I'd.
Discrete = I can't spell.
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.
Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.
Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.
Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.
Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.
AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.
You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.
You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.
CMT = good massage, bad sex.
FBSM = bad massage, good sex.
What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:
Unless specified, you can assume:
Hair color = brown.
Hair length = to shoulder.
Eye color = brown.
Age = mature.
Height = short.
Weight = heavy.
Cup size = small.
Measurements = large.[/QUOTE]
-
Natalie
[QUOTE=ChewDog57;2397269][URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/BodyRubs/let-me-help-you-unwind/18241555[/URL]
I haven't seen anyone else mention it, so I thought I would. It's not the same pic that Panacea uses, although this girl makes quite an attempt to duplicate it. I called she said her name is Rachel and works at Royal Touch. I've never seen Natalie, so I can't say for sure the pic isn't her, but maybe someone else that has can say for sure. I do see old reviews for a masseuse named Rachel so perhaps this is her? Just wanted to clear this up for anyone that calls thinking it's Natalie based on what LoveMassage posted (like I did).[/QUOTE]Definitely two different ladies. Saw Natalie at Panacea last week, she has a stud in her lower right lip and one in her, well, ummmmm, down there where I could feel it through the panties.
-
Tina
Had a dream of Tina awhile back and thought I would share it with everyone. Let me preface by saying that I have an affinity towards real redheads and I am not a spinner kind of guy.
In my dream, Tina met me at her new quiet location and I thoroughly excited she was a real and very pretty redhead. She greeted me with nice lingerie and a clean house. Her roommate smokes but you can hardly tell so no worry about smoke residue on clothes. She was an absolute dream to work with and performed everything I had asked. Tina is everything that her reviews here say and I would add that my experience was better. She was clean and smelled fantastic. If you are a DATY kind of guy, she is perfect. Very responsive and kept my interest the entire visit. A real gem!
I will be dreaming of her again.
[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/new-location-new-pix-mins-from-131-n-96-100-satisfaction-guaranteed/14808833[/URL]
-
Awesome
[QUOTE=Shawtren;2402337]What a great start to my day! I needed that laugh for sure. Thanks for sharing.[/QUOTE]That WAS funny as hell.
-
Stay Away
[QUOTE=Akinbacon;2402577]That WAS funny as hell.[/QUOTE]And this is why I don't frequent BP anymore. BTW, this applies to all BP's everywhere!
-
Egyptian Goddess
Anyone have any info on this lovely goddess?
[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/egyptian-goddess-ivy/18490409[/URL]
If not I might have to take one for the team. I check the photos and nothing came up.
-
Pacific 28th??
Any recent visits there. I have not seen any in a long time??
-
Egyptian Goddess Ivy
Grandrapids. [URL]backpage.com[/URL]/ FemaleEscorts / egyptian-goddess-ivy /18490409.
I was going to ask if this one was TGTBT because obviously it is. But I was curious and texted her and she said it was her. So I decided to call her bluff. It is her as pictured and the pics could have been taken yesterday. Needless to say, I went into shock and did whatever she told me to. $80.00 for an hour massage, strip and lay on an air mattress on the floor. She got completely naked to give the massage. Perfect body. No tattoos or blemishes. She climbs on top, throws on too much oil, and proceeds to give the crappiest massage in history. But who really cares! She could carry a decent conversation and has been all over the world. After 10 minutes of moving oil around my back, she asks me to flip. She dumped on anther quart of oil and did an amazing job of teasing me and allowed me a little roaming. I did not push or ask for anything more. When I asked to play with her ass, she sat on my chest and went to town. She is beautiful. I left 40 because I left after 25 minutes. The place is an apartment used by another girl and a dude. Seniors my PM but don't feel slighted if I don't answer because I am busy and I have told you all.
-
Newb review
[QUOTE=TrevorSyne;2402550]Had a dream of Tina awhile back and thought I would share it with everyone. Let me preface by saying that I have an affinity towards real redheads and I am not a spinner kind of guy.
In my dream, Tina met me at her new quiet location and I thoroughly excited she was a real and very pretty redhead. She greeted me with nice lingerie and a clean house. Her roommate smokes but you can hardly tell so no worry about smoke residue on clothes. She was an absolute dream to work with and performed everything I had asked. Tina is everything that her reviews here say and I would add that my experience was better. She was clean and smelled fantastic. If you are a DATY kind of guy, she is perfect. Very responsive and kept my interest the entire visit. A real gem!
I will be dreaming of her again.
[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/new-location-new-pix-mins-from-131-n-96-100-satisfaction-guaranteed/14808833[/URL][/QUOTE]Am excellent review from a new guy. Since I am a favorite of Tinas I concur on every aspect of this report. Great report.
NBB.
-
Angel
[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/im-ready-to-relax-you/18637166[/URL]
Read a couple promising reviews so I decided to give her a go.
The Good:
- She is VERY nice. In fact nice enough that I started to wonder how she ended up living out of a hotel! LOL.
- She is attractive, but the pictures are a little optimistic.
- She is a performer! She gets an A+ for effort.
- Beautiful box for a woman with kids.
The Bad: (short list).
- Hotel was sub-par.
- Had roommate that would have gladly duo'ed but I passed.
- Smokes.
All in all I would give serious consideration to seeing her again. She isn't perfect but I would recommend.
Seniors can PM for details. Prior reviews by CAP are accurate.
O-Jo.
-
Meeya
Will be coming to town for a week, any intel on a girl named Meeya? Thank you.
-
[QUOTE=OrdinaryJo;2403052][URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/im-ready-to-relax-you/18637166[/URL]
Read a couple promising reviews so I decided to give her a go.
The Good:
- She is VERY nice. In fact nice enough that I started to wonder how she ended up living out of a hotel! LOL.
- She is attractive, but the pictures are a little optimistic.
- She is a performer! She gets an A+ for effort.
- Beautiful box for a woman with kids.
The Bad: (short list).
- Hotel was sub-par.
- Had roommate that would have gladly duo'ed but I passed.
- Smokes.
All in all I would give serious consideration to seeing her again. She isn't perfect but I would recommend.
Seniors can PM for details. Prior reviews by CAP are accurate.
O-Jo.[/QUOTE]I saw her as well this week and you beat me to the punch with your review.
I was not impressed with her looks, however I certainly wasn't repulsed either. Pics much better than in person. Boobs a little flat and saggy, but acceptable. Girlfriend stayed in the bathroom the whole time, actually the girlfriend appeared younger and more attractive. Also had a little yapper dog in the room as well, wasn't a big deal as it settled down after the party started. Hotel was ok, they definitely smoke in the room. I F'ing hate leaving smelling like an ashtray.
She gave a decent BJ, although after inspecting the tip of 4 Barry's and accepting my BJ request she upsold me for another Barry to CIM. Very nice person, and that is important, and very accommodating with above average French skills. Not out of this world, but acceptable. I would rate the overall experience a be-.
-
Angel, Alacart
[QUOTE=Benz1;2395052]I took Cap's advice, Toftt.
She is Real, Real nice too.
She has an alacart menu, pick what you like.
Covered ss BJ or FS. 5,. Hhr. 65,. 1 hr. 9.
BB services, ss Cim. 8, . Cip $ . Greek $. 2. . Hhr and 1 hr available.
Dacing for an extra. 1 and Kissing for. 2. (GFE with daty requires good hygiene).
The good. She is fun size, about 5' and flexable, cheerful and happy to please and be pleased. It looks like everything is on the menu but you will need to bring a calculator to add up everthing you want to do. You guys know me, I just went head first into the BBBJCIM.
She is in a hotel with a lounge and elevators, ok for me.
Pics are real, Real nice ass too. a couple stretch marks on belly.
Overall good time, this girl likes her gob. I will repeat.[/QUOTE]The first review on her, indicated it was an Alacart menu. Maybe Joiedv didn't see the menu that I posted.
Just trying to help.
The girl friend wasn't there during my visit. If she was there, I wouldnt have her sit in the bathroom, I would invite her watch.
-
[QUOTE=Benz1;2404231]The first review on her, indicated it was an Alacart menu. Maybe Joiedv didn't see the menu that I posted.
Just trying to help.
The girl friend wasn't there during my visit. If she was there, I wouldnt have her sit in the bathroom, I would invite her watch.[/QUOTE]I guess I missed the alacart menu post. I didn't think that I had enough money for both, but if I visit again I will have a few extra roses for the friend to watch or participate. Good call.
