Massage Parlor Reports

Jodi in New Hope had the BEST massage skills around. Haven't been able to make contact in a while. I sure miss her.

[QUOTE=Tyler8675;3279485]Honestly I'd agree she's mechanical. That's why I stick to my AMP.[/QUOTE]Tried to PM but your box is full. Any info on current AMP would be appreciated.

[QUOTE=BigBamaFan;3287592]Jodi in New Hope had the BEST massage skills around. Haven't been able to make contact in a while. I sure miss her.[/QUOTE]Is there an ad?

[QUOTE=Twilighter;3289652]Is there an ad?[/QUOTE]Have not seen or heard about her in some time. Took me a couple visits to get her to loosen up. She was a decent value.

[QUOTE=ComTech42;3290295]Have not seen or heard about her in some time. Took me a couple visits to get her to loosen up. She was a decent value.[/QUOTE]The last time I saw her she had gained a ton of weight and seemed out of it. Time was cut short and was a huge disappointment compared to 2 previous great experiences. I would not even think of trying her again without confirmation from reliable posters that she is at least trying to do a good job.

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along.

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing Neon signs with words like "massage", "bodyrub" or "fellatio barn". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know degenerates like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a handjob = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending, if I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a handjob (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied babysacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

HA!

[QUOTE=SteveStone123;3291346]Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along....


8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.
....[/QUOTE]Every once in a while I'll search the yellow pages for promising massage parlors looking for some of these signs. There is one place called "knot happening" though and I always think that name tells you there will be no HE LOL.

[QUOTE=IsThatVelvet;3292508]Every once in a while I'll search the yellow pages for promising massage parlors looking for some of these signs. There is one place called "knot happening" though and I always think that name tells you there will be no HE LOL.[/QUOTE]Have you toftt?

[QUOTE=CountryBoi3575;3295155]Have you toftt?[/QUOTE]Not at that one because it screams "legit" (regular hours, etc). I have tried a few that I thought were promising. Got the best massage I ever got at a place called "heavenly touch" a couple years back but no extras after multiple visits.

[QUOTE=IsThatVelvet;3297761]Not at that one because it screams "legit" (regular hours, etc). I have tried a few that I thought were promising. Got the best massage I ever got at a place called "heavenly touch" a couple years back but no extras after multiple visits.[/QUOTE]Where is Heavenly Touch? Is it A topless bar? One day while drivivg going to Huntsville from New Hope I saw A Gentlemans Club to the right off Hwy 72 called Heavenly something didn't get the last name; haven't been back that way to check it out.

[QUOTE=Gabbb;3298456]Where is Heavenly Touch? Is it A topless bar? One day while drivivg going to Huntsville from New Hope I saw A Gentlemans Club to the right off Hwy 72 called Heavenly something didn't get the last name; haven't been back that way to check it out.[/QUOTE]This is not a gentlemen's club. It's a totally legit LMT business. I will be happy to answer questions about it thru PM out of respect to the owner But there were NO, I repeat NO extras available.

Anyone gone to Heavenly touch relaxation.

[QUOTE=IsThatVelvet;3299408]This is not a gentlemen's club. It's a totally legit LMT business. I will be happy to answer questions about it thru PM out of respect to the owner But there were NO, I repeat NO extras available.[/QUOTE]Thats funny. This is the same provider and phone number. Reports were that she is an ex porn star.

[URL]http://huntsville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/classy-beautiful-blonde/17538737[/URL]

[QUOTE=SpaTrucker;3314352]Thats funny. This is the same provider and phone number. Reports were that she is an ex porn star.

[URL]http://huntsville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/classy-beautiful-blonde/17538737[/URL][/QUOTE]Last year she had multiple ads. One was a legit Massage place off of South parkway and rates were I believe 70 or 80 hr. Then she had ads where she worked from her home that had rates of 120-200.

Contacted by phone after reading her ad on backpage. Set up was easy. Typical two call system. When I arrived she was smoking while waiting for me to arrive in her driveway to insure I could park in the proper place. She is an attractive MILF. If you want a good medium pressure massage and are in her area you will enjoy your time and leave happy.

[QUOTE=KBrowne;3304669]Anyone gone to Heavenly touch relaxation.[/QUOTE]Yes. She has a clean apartment. She is clean. Does a great job. Leave happy. Ask about VIP.

I couldn't find reviews so guess I TOFTT. Was expecting a younger girl as seen in pics. So I arrived at apartments and greeted by a lady probably late 50's. (Think may have had a stroke or some kind of brain injury in past) walks with a limp and slow speaking, and hard to understand. I continued because was really out of options and was a pretty good drive to her location. Walk in and another lady sitting on couch (her boss, as she put it) get in room and shoves my hand down her pants for quick LEO check. Opted for half hour, she takes donation and immediately open the door to give her "boss" half.

I get comfortable laying face down across bed. She said.

Completely disrobes, hairy kitty okay breast for her age. Anyhow massage was okay other than her finger nails scratching me and the point she was about to use dark tanning lotion. I made her find some else which was still greasy. I flipped after 20 minutes and she take oil and lubes her lips and begins BBBJ / HJ combo. The fact that she had no teeth actually keep it interesting and ended up blowing on her breasts.

Best part, the brown paper towels come out (like you find in a commercial establishment) that barley dry your hands much less wipe my load. She proceeded to take some and wet them in attempt to get that greasy shit off me.

[QUOTE=Kirito1015;3322057]Yes. She has a clean apartment. She is clean. Does a great job. Leave happy. Ask about VIP.[/QUOTE]Thank you!

[QUOTE=Kirito1015;3322057]Yes. She has a clean apartment. She is clean. Does a great job. Leave happy. Ask about VIP.[/QUOTE]What's VIP.

Dude,

There was no part of that, that seemed remotely fun. Tanning lotion? That's a new one. Please tell me you didn't spend more than $20 for that, LOL.

[QUOTE=TideLover;3325397]I couldn't find reviews so guess I TOFTT. Was expecting a younger girl as seen in pics. So I arrived at apartments and greeted by a lady probably late 50's. (Think may have had a stroke or some kind of brain injury in past) walks with a limp and slow speaking, and hard to understand. I continued because was really out of options and was a pretty good drive to her location. Walk in and another lady sitting on couch (her boss, as she put it) get in room and shoves my hand down her pants for quick LEO check. Opted for half hour, she takes donation and immediately open the door to give her "boss" half.

I get comfortable laying face down across bed. She said.

Completely disrobes, hairy kitty okay breast for her age. Anyhow massage was okay other than her finger nails scratching me and the point she was about to use dark tanning lotion. I made her find some else which was still greasy. I flipped after 20 minutes and she take oil and lubes her lips and begins BBBJ / HJ combo. The fact that she had no teeth actually keep it interesting and ended up blowing on her breasts.

Best part, the brown paper towels come out (like you find in a commercial establishment) that barley dry your hands much less wipe my load. She proceeded to take some and wet them in attempt to get that greasy shit off me.[/QUOTE]

[URL]http://huntsville.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/open-til-7-pm-m-sun-relaxing-therapeutic-massage-by-kelly-b/14643934[/URL] so, she's offering patio massages now hmmm this should be interesting.

[QUOTE=CountryBoi3575;3332330][URL]http://huntsville.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/open-til-7-pm-m-sun-relaxing-therapeutic-massage-by-kelly-b/14643934[/URL] so, she's offering patio massages now hmmm this should be interesting.[/QUOTE]Alright who's going to be the 1st to try the patio.

I can't believe we don't have a table shower within a 100 miles. When I travel that's the 1st place I hit up especially ATL they've got 5 on 1 street.

[QUOTE=CountryBoi3575;3358342]I can't believe we don't have a table shower within a 100 miles. When I travel that's the 1st place I hit up especially ATL they've got 5 on 1 street.[/QUOTE]I'm with you on that. I love AMPs and to not have one at all is rough. Someone could make some serious money starting one here in town! Can we make a gofundme for one LOL!

[QUOTE=Jet007;3359713]I'm with you on that. I love AMPs and to not have one at all is rough. Someone could make some serious money starting one here in town! Can we make a gofundme for one LOL![/QUOTE]At the moment all we have is Kelly at least that I know of. Which she wouldn't be bad of she got more into the release she makes no noises doesn't egg you on or nothing most of the time has her eyes closed has anyone else experienced this? But she dose get the job done. Just something about a Asian tugging you with broken English asking for your baby batter. And then they say oh my oh wow feel better now.

[QUOTE=CountryBoi3575;3360034]At the moment all we have is Kelly at least that I know of. Which she wouldn't be bad of she got more into the release she makes no noises doesn't egg you on or nothing most of the time has her eyes closed has anyone else experienced this? But she dose get the job done. Just something about a Asian tugging you with broken English asking for your baby batter. And then they say oh my oh wow feel better now.[/QUOTE]Yeah it is a shame how far the whole scene in Huntsville has declined.

So desperate that even Royal seems like a good dream now.

[QUOTE=NgjMan1;3360984]Yeah it is a shame how far the whole scene in Huntsville has declined.[/QUOTE]

Alright guys, I'm going to do all of you a solid. Last week I found a great little AMP, mid-level neighborhood, cute girls, none over 30 and looked 25, not FS but shy and eager to please. No 50 yr old Korean hookers at this place. No TS but I got great massage, lots of teasing, she took matters into her own hands after the flip and let my hands roam under her shirt with no complaints. $60 for one hour and I gave her a $40 tip. It's a little drive from here, just off US98 in PC Fla. Well worth the drive.

[QUOTE=SpaTrucker;3362065]Alright guys, I'm going to do all of you a solid. Last week I found a great little AMP, mid-level neighborhood, cute girls, none over 30 and looked 25, not FS but shy and eager to please. No 50 yr old Korean hookers at this place. No TS but I got great massage, lots of teasing, she took matters into her own hands after the flip and let my hands roam under her shirt with no complaints. $60 for one hour and I gave her a $40 tip. It's a little drive from here, just off US98 in PC Fla. Well worth the drive.[/QUOTE][URL]http://panamacity.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/new-new-new-real-picture-850-625-0828/10354164[/URL]

[QUOTE=GrittyB;3364422][URL]http://panamacity.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/new-new-new-real-picture-850-625-0828/10354164[/URL][/QUOTE]This is Huntsville not PCB.

[QUOTE=CountryBoi3575;3364461]This is Huntsville not PCB.[/QUOTE]I'm aware I'm posting in the Huntsville section. If you read the previous post the poster identified a spot and Panama City Beach and I was trying to verify.

[QUOTE=SpaTrucker;3362065]Alright guys, I'm going to do all of you a solid. Last week I found a great little AMP, mid-level neighborhood, cute girls, none over 30 and looked 25, not FS but shy and eager to please. No 50 yr old Korean hookers at this place. No TS but I got great massage, lots of teasing, she took matters into her own hands after the flip and let my hands roam under her shirt with no complaints. $60 for one hour and I gave her a $40 tip. It's a little drive from here, just off US98 in PC Fla. Well worth the drive.[/QUOTE]Panama City is more than 6 hours drive time, not so short.

I head down to Destin on a regular basis so this will be a nice rest stop. You hit all the right points in an AMP. Young, attractive, Asian women with a happy ending. I'll be dropping by. Thanks for the heads up.

I'm headed to ATL this weekend to see what's available. I'll report back on travels and dreams.

[QUOTE=SpaTrucker;3362065]Alright guys, I'm going to do all of you a solid. Last week I found a great little AMP, mid-level neighborhood, cute girls, none over 30 and looked 25, not FS but shy and eager to please. No 50 yr old Korean hookers at this place. No TS but I got great massage, lots of teasing, she took matters into her own hands after the flip and let my hands roam under her shirt with no complaints. $60 for one hour and I gave her a $40 tip. It's a little drive from here, just off US98 in PC Fla. Well worth the drive.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=CountryBoi3575;3360034]At the moment all we have is Kelly at least that I know of. Which she wouldn't be bad of she got more into the release she makes no noises doesn't egg you on or nothing most of the time has her eyes closed has anyone else experienced this? But she dose get the job done. Just something about a Asian tugging you with broken English asking for your baby batter. And then they say oh my oh wow feel better now.[/QUOTE]What about Adrianna?

[QUOTE=Freek;3365660]What about Adrianna?[/QUOTE]What about her?

[QUOTE=Freek;3365660]What about Adrianna?[/QUOTE]We once had Mya / Lisa she was a real value and the real deal. Wonder where she is now.

[QUOTE=CountryBoi3575;3365866]What about her?[/QUOTE]Was wondering how she compared to Kelly, or if anyone ever dreamed of her.

[QUOTE=Freek;3366522]Was wondering how she compared to Kelly, or if anyone ever dreamed of her.[/QUOTE]I've never saw her but it doesn't take much to be better than Kelly. As I've stated Kelly is very mechanical. With me she doesn't make any noises her eyes are always closed nothing sensual about the release but in a pinch she will get the job done. On the up side nice clean incall very great location no drama and that can be relaxing YMMV.

Does anyone have A word on the Illusions Spa that closed on South Parkway in Lacy's Spring? Maybe opened under A different name?

[QUOTE=Gabbb;3369430]Does anyone have A word on the Illusions Spa that closed on South Parkway in Lacy's Spring? Maybe opened under A different name?[/QUOTE]I sent you a PM with more details. But the short answer is "no it isn't".