"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

So I am my desktop at work searching on SA and I happen to be checking my email on my smartphone and opened up SA on it. To my surprise I see ladies on there that are not showing up on my desktop. A fresh reset on both yields the same thing. At least 10 more members on showing up online than on my desktop. Its been 30 minutes and new ones keep popping up on my smartphone while the first ones still haven't come up yet on the pc. So I am guessing I am tapped into a different server and they don't refresh at the same rate.

[QUOTE=JustLonely;3063716]So I am my desktop at work searching on SA and I happen to be checking my email on my smartphone and opened up SA on it. To my surprise I see ladies on there that are not showing up on my desktop. A fresh reset on both yields the same thing. At least 10 more members on showing up online than on my desktop. Its been 30 minutes and new ones keep popping up on my smartphone while the first ones still haven't come up yet on the pc. So I am guessing I am tapped into a different server and they don't refresh at the same rate.[/QUOTE]You shouldn't do that at work for starters.

[QUOTE=JustLonely;3063716]So I am my desktop at work searching on SA and I happen to be checking my email on my smartphone and opened up SA on it. To my surprise I see ladies on there that are not showing up on my desktop. A fresh reset on both yields the same thing. At least 10 more members on showing up online than on my desktop. Its been 30 minutes and new ones keep popping up on my smartphone while the first ones still haven't come up yet on the pc. So I am guessing I am tapped into a different server and they don't refresh at the same rate.[/QUOTE]By default phone works off GPS location. Desktop works off the profile location. Unless you're standing in the center of the town you gave it, they won't necessarily hit the exact same area. Also desktop and phone don't have the same 'presets' for distance included in search.

[QUOTE=Tc9869;3064407]By default phone works off GPS location. Desktop works off the profile location. Unless you're standing in the center of the town you gave it, they won't necessarily hit the exact same area. Also desktop and phone don't have the same 'presets' for distance included in search.[/QUOTE]You are right! I changed my preset location on SA and now both show 1438 members in my search radius. Some days I am in the office all by myself so that is when I waste too much time chasing pussy! Nobody comes to the office except UPS around 345 pm so its goof off time some days like today. One business phone call in the last 4 hours.

[QUOTE=NiceGuy804;3063275]Surprise, surprise, surprise! Watch out for LM on SA. Got taken for a G in a blackmail scam. My own stupid fault.[/QUOTE]Did she get your true identity?

So I got thrown for a loop when talking with a friend of mine said that he would check IDs of 18/19 years olds because of the "strict liability"even if they were on a site that was designed for 18+, if they're not you're still liable. [URL]http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2007/08/but-her-profile-said-she-was-18-jail-cell-judge-rules/[/URL].

So I found a great 19 year old, she's always claimed she's 19. My understanding in like the Chris Hansen videos, the girls definitely say they're underage. Again after reading other law blogs, the question comes down to "any reasonable person would have known she was a minor".

Plus I live on the border and I always wonder how the Mann act goes into effect for simply crossing a river.

How have you guys gotten around this issue?

Please feel to PM me for more details and thoughts.

J.

I may have missed it, but was anyone able to figure out if OneVanulla is go or no-go on SA?

[QUOTE=Assaholic;3065697]I may have missed it, but was anyone able to figure out if OneVanulla is go or no-go on SA?[/QUOTE]I literally upgraded just today. I got nothing to work and started emailing to all the payment vendors I had receipts from in the past. W8 tech, PaymentWall, etc. I got some helpful person who was able to take all the info off the card and submit the charge, and it went through. The only qualifier was that it charges as SeekingArr, but I said I didn't care as it was a prepaid. My card had $75 on it. They also said they are having beaucoup problems with US members using prepaid cards and they expect to have a solution shortly (but that does no good today).

Just be sure never to use a card you have used for SA with other charges that could be directly linked to you (cell phone service, for example, if you aren't using a burner). I always just get $75.

Thanks FarFar, I appreciate it. I don't have an SO and my security requirements are minimal, so I don't care if things get charged on the same bill. I just don't want my real CC or PayPal # in their database in case of another AM fiasco, or in case one day they decide to auto-renew without my wanting it. I guess I'll just wait until they sort this out before I dip my toes in.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3065783]I literally upgraded just today. I got nothing to work and started emailing to all the payment vendors I had receipts from in the past. W8 tech, PaymentWall, etc. I got some helpful person who was able to take all the info off the card and submit the charge, and it went through. The only qualifier was that it charges as SeekingArr, but I said I didn't care as it was a prepaid. My card had $75 on it. They also said they are having beaucoup problems with US members using prepaid cards and they expect to have a solution shortly (but that does no good today).

Just be sure never to use a card you have used for SA with other charges that could be directly linked to you (cell phone service, for example, if you aren't using a burner). I always just get $75.[/QUOTE]

While I know all woman are like that, do all woman lie and say they have never met anyone on SA before? I've heard it enough to think it's true, maybe 10% of contacts admit to meeting someone before. Maybe it's my area. Some girls have been on a few months some a year. Just seems crazy with how frequently they are online. Do these guys end up trying to impress through how romantic they are and end up being pen pals?

[QUOTE=Moohk;3066909]While I know all woman are like that, do all woman lie and say they have never met anyone on SA before? I've heard it enough to think it's true, maybe 10% of contacts admit to meeting someone before. Maybe it's my area. Some girls have been on a few months some a year. Just seems crazy with how frequently they are online. Do these guys end up trying to impress through how romantic they are and end up being pen pals?[/QUOTE]I think there is something about the way the female mind is wired that causes them to downplay any hint of promiscuity or related floozy-shame. I say "wired" because it's beyond just learned cultural expectations, it seems to go deeper than that. Many of them try to address it with a reverse-strategy (I. E. Playfully flaunting their sexuality for shock value), but that's usually just a cover up to a larger insecurity.

But in this case I'm not sure it applies, because I find that very few of these girls consider being an SB to be anything to be ashamed of, it's like it's not even in the same category as the promiscuity-shame mentioned above. At least that's the case with most of the girls I've met.

I'd say most of the ones I've met tell me they've had an SD (or at least something close, a significantly older boyfriend that helped them in some way). But then I tend to not pry too much about it, I usually tell them a little about my own background and what my arrangements were like in the past and they will usually do the same. Are they telling me everything? Hell no.

Maybe I put off a vibe that makes them feel they won't be judged, by laying out my own story first? Who knows.

[QUOTE=Moohk;3066909]While I know all woman are like that, do all woman lie and say they have never met anyone on SA before? I've heard it enough to think it's true, maybe 10% of contacts admit to meeting someone before. Maybe it's my area. Some girls have been on a few months some a year. Just seems crazy with how frequently they are online. Do these guys end up trying to impress through how romantic they are and end up being pen pals?[/QUOTE]Lots of women have told me they have met men and that they are all creeps, cheap or don't live up to promises, no doubt to discourage more of the same and to bolster their own standing as being picky to meet anyone going forward.

[QUOTE=Moohk;3066909]While I know all woman are like that, do all woman lie and say they have never met anyone on SA before? I've heard it enough to think it's true, maybe 10% of contacts admit to meeting someone before. Maybe it's my area. Some girls have been on a few months some a year. Just seems crazy with how frequently they are online. Do these guys end up trying to impress through how romantic they are and end up being pen pals?[/QUOTE]I had one that I saw from June of last year message me at my new user name on SA recently saying she was new to this and wanted to see an older man as her first time as a sugar baby. Almost the same thing she wrote me last year. So I wrote back I would see her if she wore the same red dress she wore last time we went out. Got a one word "sorry" as her reply.

As for myself I only say I have had two successful arrangements and a few that just ended at dinner. Most never ask me to to tell more them about it.

I went back into the highlights and found post #2643 about how to keep your identity secret in a hotel room w / a SB. This is imperative. I had an experience a few years ago with a CL girl, not a SB, that curdled the blood. I made many mistakes here, first not asking for a photo before, relying on her honesty. She showed up at the door and I could see through the peephole she was large. I foolishly invited her in and she excused herself to the bathroom. We discussed matters for a few minutes and I suggested she wasn't really my type and I would give her half the agreed amount and she could just leave. She became irate (mock), etc. Etc. I am guessing she had played this game before. She then stated she had hacked my computer with her iPad while we were sitting there and she knew who I was and was going to be calling my SO unless I gave her the agreed-upon amount. Not true, what she had really done is look at my business card that I had left in my TSA-approved liquids bag that was in the bathroom. REALLY dumb on my part. I ended up giving her literally every bill I had, and still she emailed me for 2-3 days saying she needed to go shopping, etc. I lived in fear for quite some time afterward.

For those of you who see SBs when traveling on business (which I will be doing shortly), any other pointers on what not to do? I don't see specifics on the thread.

Well to add to what's been said about some women, here is mine. Just met one today, after trying to meet this one or to get any attention from her for several months. I wanted to taste some asian pussy, since haven't had any for long time, NOVA spas and the Tysons once spent so much there, had several once, but not lately. So I have been itching to get some. This girl is in her late 30's it is very unusual for me to see some one that old. Anyway, she is tiny and in every way, not so hot but thinks of herself to be all that!! She wants a very handsome, fit and rich guy and has too many picky things she lists out. I am so glad I just spent 10 dollars on her that is even too much. Don't think she is going to putout. So glad to cross one out. This is not normal for me met many of the young once go straight to the FC. Waiting for really hot mixed 19 yr old taking her to FC next week, could have done it today, it is that time of the month and she keeps feeding me with hot pics.

Well I am not sure how we can ask some these women to show their I'd's when all of involved are trying to be discreet and keep their true identity secret. The best thing is to avoid the once who look like they may be under 18, I had asked a girl one time if she really was 19 as she claimed since she said she does not drive and lives with her parents, well she got mad and blocked me!!

Now some of us talked about a profile on here several months ago, we came across from W'burg. Her posted pics looked so young and hope to god no one really got her meet, eventually profile is gone now. There was another one in F'burg similar type with very young looking pics as well, avoid them all together. Some of thees girls are from broken families and done really care how to get some attention! All in all I think it is up to the adults to adults weed carefully.

Stay careful.

S2568.

[QUOTE=Jayb20;3065639]So I got thrown for a loop when talking with a friend of mine said that he would check IDs of 18/19 years olds because of the "strict liability"even if they were on a site that was designed for 18+, if they're not you're still liable. [URL]http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2007/08/but-her-profile-said-she-was-18-jail-cell-judge-rules/[/URL].

So I found a great 19 year old, she's always claimed she's 19. My understanding in like the Chris Hansen videos, the girls definitely say they're underage. Again after reading other law blogs, the question comes down to "any reasonable person would have known she was a minor".

Plus I live on the border and I always wonder how the Mann act goes into effect for simply crossing a river.

How have you guys gotten around this issue?

Please feel to PM me for more details and thoughts.

J.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3067913]I went back into the highlights and found post #2643 about how to keep your identity secret in a hotel room w / a SB. This is imperative. I had an experience a few years ago with a CL girl, not a SB, that curdled the blood. I made many mistakes here, first not asking for a photo before, relying on her honesty. She showed up at the door and I could see through the peephole she was large. I foolishly invited her in and she excused herself to the bathroom. We discussed matters for a few minutes and I suggested she wasn't really my type and I would give her half the agreed amount and she could just leave. She became irate (mock), etc. Etc. I am guessing she had played this game before. She then stated she had hacked my computer with her iPad while we were sitting there and she knew who I was and was going to be calling my SO unless I gave her the agreed-upon amount. Not true, what she had really done is look at my business card that I had left in my TSA-approved liquids bag that was in the bathroom. REALLY dumb on my part. I ended up giving her literally every bill I had, and still she emailed me for 2-3 days saying she needed to go shopping, etc. I lived in fear for quite some time afterward.

For those of you who see SBs when traveling on business (which I will be doing shortly), any other pointers on what not to do? I don't see specifics on the thread.[/QUOTE]Perhaps obvious after your example, but lock away anything with your identity on it. Just a briefcase with a lock on it usually works. Things I commonly make a mental note to tuck away somewhere else are things like registration / insurance info that would normally be in my glove box if its my vehicle, or the paperwork if its a rental. When possible I try to book at hotels that have some sort of parking security, like a gate to enter the property, or a valet-guarded lot, etc. This is because its not uncommon for them (SBs or strippers etc) to follow me back to my place, and I want to prevent two things: 1) if things go horribly sideways I don't want the vehicle keyed or tires slashed. Not that likely, but 2) and much more common, I simply don't want them to see if I am in my room or not. For example I might have another date the next night and don't want the prior night's date showing up for an unexpected visit. Sometimes, especially in urban / downtown / walkable areas, I can operate without them ever seeing my vehicle (I. E. Its parked in a garage and they take a cab to meet me at some place within walking distance to my hotel). That's ideal but not always possible.

I never let a girl come straight to my room for first meet. Meeting is always somewhere else. Main reason is because she may not look like her pics, but there are other benefits. With a recent SB M&G I was unusually pressed for time, needed to get up early and drive to another city the next morning, so I set up the meeting for a restaurant that was literally across the street from my hotel. I thought it would be nice if I could use that extra hour or so toward creative fucking rather than spend it inside the restaurant on useless small talk. So, I told her to meet me in the parking lot of the restaurant. The idea was to skip the time and expense of the dinner meet and just go back to my room, a risky move I don't normally attempt. I decided to play it by ear, going with instinct. So we met in the parking lot, I got out and hugged her, my intuition said go for it so I said "I'm so sorry but I'm running a little later than usual, do you mind if we make the best use of time and skip dinner"? Off to the room we go for some epic fucking, no drinks or dinner. Note the hug was key there, it would have been awkward without some physical contact and show of affection. Had she turned out to be different than her pics, I could have just gone inside, eaten dinner and called the night a loss, but it was a win that night.

You might ask them not to put a receipt under the door in the morning in case she ends up spending the night (something you often just don't know whether or not is going to happen at time of check-in). And if she does, try to get up early and check to intercept it.

I've actually had good luck overall with these girls not prying too much into that sort of thing.

[QUOTE=S2568;3068007]Well I am not sure how we can ask some these women to show their I'd's when all of involved are trying to be discreet and keep their true identity secret. The best thing is to avoid the once who look like they may be under 18, I had asked a girl one time if she really was 19 as she claimed since she said she does not drive and lives with her parents, [b]well she got mad and blocked me!![/b]

[/QUOTE]Whenever that happens I just laugh and thank my lucky stars! If she is going to blow up at you for such an innocent question, I can only imagine the drama that lies in waiting? So for me, much better to have her upset now and drop out rather than deal with it in public or the FC! LOL!

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3067913]I went back into the highlights and found post #2643 about how to keep your identity secret in a hotel room w / a SB. This is imperative. I had an experience a few years ago with a CL girl, not a SB, that curdled the blood. I made many mistakes here, first not asking for a photo before, relying on her honesty. She showed up at the door and I could see through the peephole she was large. I foolishly invited her in and she excused herself to the bathroom. We discussed matters for a few minutes and I suggested she wasn't really my type and I would give her half the agreed amount and she could just leave. She became irate (mock), etc. Etc. I am guessing she had played this game before. She then stated she had hacked my computer with her iPad while we were sitting there and she knew who I was and was going to be calling my SO unless I gave her the agreed-upon amount. Not true, what she had really done is look at my business card that I had left in my TSA-approved liquids bag that was in the bathroom. REALLY dumb on my part. I ended up giving her literally every bill I had, and still she emailed me for 2-3 days saying she needed to go shopping, etc. I lived in fear for quite some time afterward.

For those of you who see SBs when traveling on business (which I will be doing shortly), any other pointers on what not to do? I don't see specifics on the thread.[/QUOTE]That "con" only works as long as you let yourself be vulnerable. She is doing extortion or blackmail which I believe are felonies. "Dating" if something illegal was done, is a misdemeanor. So if you have to trade charges, she gets the heavy weight and you take a slap on the wrist. These girls work off of your fear. The more fear they can smell the harder they will push and keep pushing. But usually if you take a stand and push back you call their bluff!

If you really think she is going to call the SO, inoculate yourself by telling the SO a story about meeting a girl in a bar, conference, etc whatever and giving her your business card. Then next thing you know she is making up stories and threatening to call the SO. But hey, if she can go to the SO with texts from your personal number, emails from your personal account and pictures you sent her. Then you are cooked.

Get a burner number, and layer a GV number on it. Meet in public to size her up and come to an agreement. NEVER be unwilling, afraid or to horny to WALK AWAY if something doesn't feel right!

A lot of The Rules for BP Mongering are applicable to this situation. Have those down cold.

[QUOTE=CephlapodLove;3068856]That "con" only works as long as you let yourself be vulnerable. She is doing extortion or blackmail which I believe are felonies. "Dating" if something illegal was done, is a misdemeanor. So if you have to trade charges, she gets the heavy weight and you take a slap on the wrist. These girls work off of your fear. The more fear they can smell the harder they will push and keep pushing. But usually if you take a stand and push back you call their bluff!

If you really think she is going to call the SO, inoculate yourself by telling the SO a story about meeting a girl in a bar, conference, etc whatever and giving her your business card. Then next thing you know she is making up stories and threatening to call the SO. But hey, if she can go to the SO with texts from your personal number, emails from your personal account and pictures you sent her. Then you are cooked.

Get a burner number, and layer a GV number on it. Meet in public to size her up and come to an agreement. NEVER be unwilling, afraid or to horny to WALK AWAY if something doesn't feel right!

A lot of The Rules for BP Mongering are applicable to this situation. Have those down cold.[/QUOTE]At the time, I thought long and hard about some level of confession / prevarication with the SO about what went down. I decided to do nothing and wait (advice from a great friend, who had confessed to me his inability to stay away from a grad student in his department, long ago), and fortunately, she was bluffing so could not follow through on her threat. I did have essentially that explanation at the ready, provided by my more level-headed friend.

I am wondering if it is possible to do Skype with a POT without revealing any identity info. I have searched for info on the same (here and elsewhere) without success. Does using a proxy server do it? I found this info on Reddit: is it right, and if it is, can someone translate?

Hop on a VPN, create account (use mullvad vpn if you want), download Skype, route it over TOR socks proxy (see advor), now your account was created over VPN's, now you login to Skype over the TOR exit nodes, and when you hit new identity, your Skype will disconnect, and it'll reconnect once you are on a new tor exit node. Simple, simple to do. I do it all the time.

I'm in the exact same boat. After having paid subscription for some time I've collected more contacts and phone numbers that I could possibly handle for next few months. I did not renew my paid subscription. However, when I click the "Interests" button SA displays that I could 'send message' to SBs that have viewed me. I have sent messages to several such SBs with a simple message that I'm interested in their profile and encouraged them to text me directly. But I haven't received any text messages until now as an outcome of my messages. So I'm guessing it is just a gimmick by SA.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3062709]I don't have a paid membership right now. I got on briefly and favorited someone, and she favorited me back. I think she is a premium member. There was a message bar on her icon that said 'it's a match!' and 'send a message'. I clicked it and a messaging window opened up, so I was able to type something in there and apparently send it off. It included my email so I could communicate with her off the site. I haven't heard from her and wonder if anyone else has had similar experience. Do you think SA is holding up the message b / c it includes my email (that happened to me when I first joined the site, before I paid)? Or do you think I was mistaken that I could communicate with her even though I currently don't have a paid membership? My message is definitely not in my 'sent' box.[/QUOTE]

OhBabe1 25, cute blonde model wanted to be my sex buddy but I had to get Safe Sex I'd through AFF. Enter her user name and pay $30 for Gold membership.

[QUOTE=Lebruno;3069644]I'm in the exact same boat. After having paid subscription for some time I've collected more contacts and phone numbers that I could possibly handle for next few months. I did not renew my paid subscription. However, when I click the "Interests" button SA displays that I could 'send message' to SBs that have viewed me. I have sent messages to several such SBs with a simple message that I'm interested in their profile and encouraged them to text me directly. But I haven't received any text messages until now as an outcome of my messages. So I'm guessing it is just a gimmick by SA.[/QUOTE]I spoke with the woman in question and she never received either of the messages I sent this way (not the same as the regular portal), with and without my email.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3069639]I am wondering if it is possible to do Skype with a POT without revealing any identity info. I have searched for info on the same (here and elsewhere) without success. Does using a proxy server do it? I found this info on Reddit: is it right, and if it is, can someone translate?

Hop on a VPN, create account (use mullvad vpn if you want), download Skype, route it over TOR socks proxy (see advor), now your account was created over VPN's, now you login to Skype over the TOR exit nodes, and when you hit new identity, your Skype will disconnect, and it'll reconnect once you are on a new tor exit node. Simple, simple to do. I do it all the time.[/QUOTE]From a technical standpoint I don't see a real challenge, except that since Skype now operates with MS accounts, and MS accounts have some of the most stringent security in the business, you may run into issues with VPN locations unless you're diligent about using the same one. By that I mean if your VPN says you're in NYC, and you're really in Vegas, and you log into Skype with the VPN at noon then forget to login through the VPN (or your VPN provider switches locations) an hour later, automated security measures will likely pick up that it's not possible to be in two places at the same time and thus assume its unauthorized access, requiring you to go through sending a code via email or text to unlock your account. A minor inconvenience but it can be a pain.

The bigger concern that would give me pause is that even if she's not particularly technical, its easy for her to capture you in all your glory conversing with her for future evidence, blackmail, social media circulation, etc. A video of you sugaring is even more incriminating than phone calls or text, and impossible to deny its you. Not only that, but facial recognition is the new form of fingerprinting, so any sort of video chat could come back to haunt you later on and is probably a bad idea for married guys. I would say this risk outweighs IP traceability as a privacy issue by 100:1.

I had a similar situation once before I got into the Sugar World with a girl who threatened to tell my spouse.

Even though I was not yet divorced, I called her bluff and told her I was already divorced and she was welcome to try. I told her I was sure it would p*ss off my ex-wife, but I was okay with that. LOL.

She backed down and even asked to see me again months later. I reminder her that she tried to blackmail me and I didn't think it was a good idea. LOL.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3069627]At the time, I thought long and hard about some level of confession / prevarication with the SO about what went down. I decided to do nothing and wait (advice from a great friend, who had confessed to me his inability to stay away from a grad student in his department, long ago), and fortunately, she was bluffing so could not follow through on her threat. I did have essentially that explanation at the ready, provided by my more level-headed friend.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;3070045]From a technical standpoint I don't see a real challenge, except that since Skype now operates with MS accounts, and MS accounts have some of the most stringent security in the business, you may run into issues with VPN locations unless you're diligent about using the same one. By that I mean if your VPN says you're in NYC, and you're really in Vegas, and you log into Skype with the VPN at noon then forget to login through the VPN (or your VPN provider switches locations) an hour later, automated security measures will likely pick up that it's not possible to be in two places at the same time and thus assume its unauthorized access, requiring you to go through sending a code via email or text to unlock your account. A minor inconvenience but it can be a pain.

The bigger concern that would give me pause is that even if she's not particularly technical, its easy for her to capture you in all your glory conversing with her for future evidence, blackmail, social media circulation, etc. A video of you sugaring is even more incriminating than phone calls or text, and impossible to deny its you. Not only that, but facial recognition is the new form of fingerprinting, so any sort of video chat could come back to haunt you later on and is probably a bad idea for married guys. I would say this risk outweighs IP traceability as a privacy issue by 100:1.[/QUOTE]As usual, I thank you for your insightful comments. This *did bring down a certain former congressman from NY.

The gal to which this? Pertains isn't the most savvy with sugaring practices, as she contacted me with her correct full name / email, and googling took me directly to her YouTube channel. No lie! - there, she expounds on sexual activities of young adults and misbehavior by men, while presenting herself in private emails as sexually adventurous. At least I know her photo is real. I have some time before I am in her city. We will see how the communication goes in the meantime.

[QUOTE=Madaboutmax;3070082]I had a similar situation once before I got into the Sugar World with a girl who threatened to tell my spouse.

Even though I was not yet divorced, I called her bluff and told her I was already divorced and she was welcome to try. I told her I was sure it would p*ss off my ex-wife, but I was okay with that. LOL.

She backed down and even asked to see me again months later. I reminder her that she tried to blackmail me and I didn't think it was a good idea. LOL.[/QUOTE]I just want to emphasize how important it is to have a plausible deniability / stonewalling approach to the SO, when confronted with suspicion or even evidence. There is nothing to be gained by coming clean, to be honest. There will be momentary relief I assume, followed by perennial suffering. This has been written about elsewhere on these threads earlier but bears repeating. SOs, particularly those that have some level of dependency on us (mostly emotional and / or financial) don't really want to face the reality of the loss of the relationship. They will sometimes rationalize that there really isn't proof, perhaps I am being unfair / too suspicious, etc. , helping us off the hook. The plausibility of the explanation is key to exploiting this weakness. Never, never, never admit to anything. Even when caught (happened to a brother recently), he remained silent and let his SO do the talking. She was most offended b / c the baby was 20 and their daughter was 27. Nothing he could do or say to fix that, so he didn't. A little like taking the 5th or using your Miranda rights.

[QUOTE=CephlapodLove;3068856]That "con" only works as long as you let yourself be vulnerable. She is doing extortion or blackmail which I believe are felonies. "Dating" if something illegal was done, is a misdemeanor. So if you have to trade charges, she gets the heavy weight and you take a slap on the wrist. These girls work off of your fear. The more fear they can smell the harder they will push and keep pushing. But usually if you take a stand and push back you call their bluff!

If you really think she is going to call the SO, inoculate yourself by telling the SO a story about meeting a girl in a bar, conference, etc whatever and giving her your business card. Then next thing you know she is making up stories and threatening to call the SO. But hey, if she can go to the SO with texts from your personal number, emails from your personal account and pictures you sent her. Then you are cooked.

Get a burner number, and layer a GV number on it. Meet in public to size her up and come to an agreement. NEVER be unwilling, afraid or to horny to WALK AWAY if something doesn't feel right!

A lot of The Rules for BP Mongering are applicable to this situation. Have those down cold.[/QUOTE]Something very similar happened to me in the early stages of my Sugar Life. I had a single off-site email exchange with a POT through my Sugar Email, and she informed me that she had hacked into my computer, discovered my real name and where I lived, and was going to send my SO a letter detailing our conversation if I didn't pay her $750 via Western Union. Of course my bowels turned to ice, but the more I thought about it, the less plausible her story became.

I too went on the offense, and replied that while cheating on one's wife is maybe not the nicest thing to do, it was not a crime, whereas blackmail, extortion and wire fraud, all of which she had committed and provided me proof of in the current email chain, are in fact felonies, and would involve the FBI coming looking for her, something they could do in 2 mouse clicks. I had no idea if any of that last part was true or not, but I heard nothing more from her.

To this day, I"m not at all sure she was even an SB. It could have been some Eastern European dude with fake pics. Her "profile" disappeared immediately, which is how I knew I was in the clear, but I have to be honest and admit that I spent several terrified days there! It obviously didn't stop me from this fantastic game, but it did make me a lot more cautious and to trust my gut more. If something feels wrong to me now, I just back away. There are always more little fish signing up every day!

Tall ho!

Scott.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3070243]As usual, I thank you for your insightful comments. This *did bring down a certain former congressman from NY. The gal to which this? Pertains isn't the most savvy with sugaring practices, as she contacted me with her correct full name / email, and googling took me directly to her YouTube channel. No lie! - there, she expounds on sexual activities of young adults and misbehavior by men, while presenting herself in private emails as sexually adventurous. At least I know her photo is real. I have some time before I am in her city. We will see how the communication goes in the meantime.[/QUOTE]I find these girls immediately send me mail revealing their identity and / or main phone number fairly often. The few times I've even brought up the subject, they just say "I'm not doing anything wrong or illegal, why would I hide anything"? I usually don't mention it. When they do reveal it all up front, I interpret it as a good sign because it means #1 they are not a pro, and #2 they haven't yet been jaded by a stalker or a creeper that gave them reason to be afraid. There are also some girls who are far from pros and not jaded or experienced SBs that want anonymity as much as we do, simply because they have a BF or in some cases even hubby that they want to keep aside.

And yeah its insane how much many of them give up about their naughty escapades on social media. When I was young, we lashed out against authority by getting drunk and driving all over the place, screwing girls, getting in fights and other general mischief. I think these days the kids celebrate their youth more through irresponsible use of social media. They know its probably a bad idea and may have future consequences, but hey they're young and you only live once right?

I'm in the greater Chicago area, and the market here sucks. I've met quite a bit of crazy, and some from just even messaging back and forth with some of these girls. This really is weird, I get messages from girls asking me about my experiences in SA and they say it sucks but they themselves are flakes. I've seen so many deleted profiles too people who haven't had accountts forever after some conversation and an arrangement for meet and greet then poof. I may have to strongly consider expanding my search radius beyond 100 miles but that's rough that's really beyond my normal travel distance.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3070516]I just want to emphasize how important it is to have a plausible deniability / stonewalling approach to the SO, when confronted with suspicion or even evidence. There is nothing to be gained by coming clean, to be honest. There will be momentary relief I assume, followed by perennial suffering. This has been written about elsewhere on these threads earlier but bears repeating. SOs, particularly those that have some level of dependency on us (mostly emotional and / or financial) don't really want to face the reality of the loss of the relationship. They will sometimes rationalize that there really isn't proof, perhaps I am being unfair / too suspicious, etc. , helping us off the hook. The plausibility of the explanation is key to exploiting this weakness. Never, never, never admit to anything. Even when caught (happened to a brother recently), he remained silent and let his SO do the talking. She was most offended b / c the baby was 20 and their daughter was 27. Nothing he could do or say to fix that, so he didn't. A little like taking the 5th or using your Miranda rights.[/QUOTE][URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjPBMAmNH14[/URL]

"I know you did it, just admit it! It'll be ok!

[QUOTE=Moohk;3071526]I'm in the greater Chicago area, and the market here sucks. I've met quite a bit of crazy, and some from just even messaging back and forth with some of these girls. This really is weird, I get messages from girls asking me about my experiences in SA and they say it sucks but they themselves are flakes. I've seen so many deleted profiles too people who haven't had accountts forever after some conversation and an arrangement for meet and greet then poof. I may have to strongly consider expanding my search radius beyond 100 miles but that's rough that's really beyond my normal travel distance.[/QUOTE]Maybe review your approach. I just started a job in Chicago, and I hooked up with two beauties on my last visit. One tall latina (20) that loved wrapping her thin legs around me all night ($150 for an overnight), and one I'm not going to give details on yet. I'll just say she rivals my pediatric baby in looks but is way more open minded. We've already started discussing a minimal allowance as well as making travel plans.

A pond as big as Chicago is bound to have plenty of fish (no pun intended). If things aren't working, review your profile. Your pics, and your opening. Don't just say "hi how are you". Girls have shown me their accounts, and that's the opening that the vast majority of guys use. Look for something interesting in her profile, or say something funny. Be different.

[QUOTE=FScott;3071275]Something very similar happened to me in the early stages of my Sugar Life. I had a single off-site email exchange with a POT through my Sugar Email, and she informed me that she had hacked into my computer, discovered my real name and where I lived, and was going to send my SO a letter detailing our conversation if I didn't pay her $750 via Western Union. Of course my bowels turned to ice, but the more I thought about it, the less plausible her story became.

I too went on the offense, and replied that while cheating on one's wife is maybe not the nicest thing to do, it was not a crime, whereas blackmail, extortion and wire fraud, all of which she had committed and provided me proof of in the current email chain, are in fact felonies, and would involve the FBI coming looking for her, something they could do in 2 mouse clicks. I had no idea if any of that last part was true or not, but I heard nothing more from her.

To this day, I"m not at all sure she was even an SB. It could have been some Eastern European dude with fake pics. Her "profile" disappeared immediately, which is how I knew I was in the clear, but I have to be honest and admit that I spent several terrified days there! It obviously didn't stop me from this fantastic game, but it did make me a lot more cautious and to trust my gut more. If something feels wrong to me now, I just back away. There are always more little fish signing up every day!

Tall ho!

Scott.[/QUOTE]I was bombarded with phone calls on my burner while I was in a meeting a few months ago. I texted back saying I was in a meeting, and asked who it was. Finally after about 15 minutes of texting, the person at the other end goes. I know what you do. Knowing this was going through GV to my burner, I laughed and said ok what? They replied you meet women for sex. I nearly started to crack-up in a meeting, and replied back. Yup. As often as I can.

I never heard anything more. I suspect someone found my GV number from the AM dump, and was lamely trying to black mail me. Even if they had something (which they couldn't have), I wouldn't have cared. I'm fortunately in a position where there's very little (if any) down side to exposure.

[QUOTE=BikeRider;3071923]I was bombarded with phone calls on my burner while I was in a meeting a few months ago. I texted back saying I was in a meeting, and asked who it was. Finally after about 15 minutes of texting, the person at the other end goes. I know what you do. Knowing this was going through GV to my burner, I laughed and said ok what? They replied you meet women for sex. I nearly started to crack-up in a meeting, and replied back. Yup. As often as I can.

I never heard anything more. I suspect someone found my GV number from the AM dump, and was lamely trying to black mail me. Even if they had something (which they couldn't have), I wouldn't have cared. I'm fortunately in a position where there's very little (if any) down side to exposure.[/QUOTE]I'm pretty much in the same position. I would prefer not to have a SB show up at my front door and make a scene in front of my SO, but it would be far more in the "annoying inconvenience" category than a holy-shit moment. Females have an uncanny radar for male vulnerability -- the more you have to lose, the more they can smell blood on you, and while the reality is most of times it's just threat to give themselves leverage and feed their own needy for a feeling of power, sometimes the looming threat causes more stress than if they just followed through with it. However, since I'm not vulnerable, it's like they all know it, so any sort of evil thoughts along those lines never enter their mind.

The text you got could be an AM related scammer, but the first thought that would come to my mind is a disgruntled former SB or POT that didn't work out, someone that wanted to continue seeing you but you moved on to someone else. She could easily get a disposable number for a few bucks with something like Hushed. An AM scammer would probably have likely (IMO) used a different choice of words if they were hoping to extort, because they would only know you had a membership, not whether or not you actually followed through and met women. If they were even remotely skilled at scamming they would have played the stronger card of just saying they can prove your membership and out you to the SO.

[QUOTE=BikeRider;3071915]Maybe review your approach. I just started a job in Chicago, and I hooked up with two beauties on my last visit. One tall latina (20) that loved wrapping her thin legs around me all night ($150 for an overnight), and one I'm not going to give details on yet. I'll just say she rivals my pediatric baby in looks but is way more open minded. We've already started discussing a minimal allowance as well as making travel plans.

A pond as big as Chicago is bound to have plenty of fish (no pun intended). If things aren't working, review your profile. Your pics, and your opening. Don't just say "hi how are you". Girls have shown me their accounts, and that's the opening that the vast majority of guys use. Look for something interesting in her profile, or say something funny. Be different.[/QUOTE]I appreciate the response however, I do not have an issue with opening dialog. It's funny though because I do get girls that message me with hey or what's up? I don't open so generically, my experience in chicago itself has been pricey but may I should look more I'm in the area not in Chicago itself but I do have tons of colleges etc. Around me. I will continue to reevaluate my approach.

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;3071289] I think these days the kids celebrate their youth more through irresponsible use of social media. They know its probably a bad idea and may have future consequences, but hey they're young and you only live once right?[/QUOTE]Hey, no problem! Isn't the mantra of 20-somethings, "don't judge?

[QUOTE=CephlapodLove;3072775]Hey, no problem! Isn't the mantra of 20-somethings, "don't judge?[/QUOTE]I'm good with it, as long as they don't judge my gift amounts. I guess if I ever get accused of lowball gifting, I can always tell them that's her portion after I donated the bulk of it to starving and abused women in third world countries and still get a bonus hummer?

[QUOTE=Moohk;3072695]I appreciate the response however, I do not have an issue with opening dialog. It's funny though because I do get girls that message me with hey or what's up? I don't open so generically, my experience in chicago itself has been pricey but may I should look more I'm in the area not in Chicago itself but I do have tons of colleges etc. Around me. I will continue to reevaluate my approach.[/QUOTE]Hopefully you took my comments as an attempt to help out a brother.

My hits were in the burbs. Downtown could be, and probably is, an entirely different game.

[QUOTE=BikeRider;3072997]Hopefully you took my comments as an attempt to help out a brother.

My hits were in the burbs. Downtown could be, and probably is, an entirely different game.[/QUOTE]I did, and I appreciate it. I've not given up yet though I may let my account lapse as I had some potential meet and greets set up today and silence. It's all part of the game.