Massage Parlor Reports

[QUOTE=Sleazebum]I just stop off somewhere and get a bag or box of clementines or oranges for them. Doesn't cost much and they seem to really appreciate the thought. Or - get something else they can all share to eat.
[/QUOTE]

In another town and in another time I was a regular at Tampa spa. This place didn't open until early afternoon on Sundays. I asked why and the girls told me that on Sunday they would often go to a Westshore Ave restaurant for brunch. Since that was the only time they really had "off" when they were working, they liked doing that.

Well, the light bulb came on in my big head (as well as in my little head) and I offered to treat the girls to brunch next time they wanted to go. They agreed! I was their hero.

But before we could make that happen, LE made one of their "inspections" and in the wake of that several of the girls quickly left town as they didn't have the required licenses.

Oh well...

The worst thing I have done. Takes some thought for sure. Probably would be bad gas. I had been away for several months and decided my yellow fever needed some attention. Well I had forgotten I had ice cream after lunch that day. Ice cream (I think it's the dairy. Not too sure) gives me deadly gas. Silent but very strong.

That evening I enjoyed a few beverages, had dinner, decided to ride to get the fever checked out. Well on my ride I squeesed a few out. In the shower I was trying to figure out if I could squeeze one out, silently with little fanfare. No luck. I was too relaxed. Next on to the room, she starts massaging my back and totally by accident I let one go. Well, she wasn't very happy with me at this point. We finished quickly and I left. A week or two later, I returned and apoligized to her and brought her some clememtines. She seemed happy and all was forgotten.

Too bad the place closed on black Wednesday and never reopened. Anyway, happy hunting. Be safe out there.

Cabbie

[QUOTE=Cabdriver52]The worst thing I have done. Takes some thought for sure. Probably would be bad gas. I had been away for several months and decided my yellow fever needed some attention. Well I had forgotten I had ice cream after lunch that day. Ice cream (I think it's the dairy. Not too sure) gives me deadly gas. Silent but very strong.


Cabbie[/QUOTE]

WHoa Cabbie, you brought the memory banks alive with that one....Heck yeah I have broken wind many a time when the girl would be walking on my back etc. Although the girls always brushed it off, it generally ruled out the potential of visit to the asian rim (since the potential that I may not be any longer clean as a whistle from the shower I suppose).

I generally always ask to hit the john before the shower hoping that all farts get out and I piss dry before all activity.

On another note, I also used to give fruit, flowers, candy, even had the flowers delivered to my favorite spas and or to my favorite lady(s) at the spa(s). Trust me, you think it currys favor but for me I dont think it gets you any further than as if you broke wind. They will talk a good game with you making you feel that what you did was appreciated, but the only thing that mattters is greenbacks.
Just my wooden nickel.

Monger on
clix

Cabbie and Clixxx:

Thanks for sharing that with us guys...NOT!

Now can we return to our regularly scheduled channels?

SMWSLT

Lax

I have taken them as gifts to the spas, too. I guess we have more than mongering in common!

Hi Guys,

Thanks for the information and research. Allow me to give my credentials up front, since Newbie slamming seems to be an art form here.

I lived in DC for about 10 years but had not discovered the spa scene until moving to Boston. Since then I make it to DC about a half dozen times a year and usually try to get some relaxation while in town. Although I have tried a few over the years, I finally settled into DT because it is near where I stay, plus I like to warm up in Archibalds. Plus, and this is a big plus, I have never been ripped off at DT. Never been ripped off anywhere, but that is a frequent concern of taking my clothes off in a foreign land. Also, I knew DT had a TS, and I love that.

More credentials. I am a strip club guy and post frequently on alt.sex.strip.clubs, including fs and other fun activities. Years ago I posted on a now defunct tampa board, and I believe that Drew Park was a regular there. Either that or I recognize his handle from *********. Got a lot of early spa recon from ********* by the way.

Anyway. Headed to Sun based on the consensus of this board. For first timers, it is a bit hard to find. It is actually slightly around the corner and there is no street number, but there is the telltale doorbell.

Walked up the stairs, ugly mamasan. Seemed to be only one therapist on duty at 10:00 pm. Couldn't tell. Her name was "Honey", naturally. Lovely girl , some english. Standard fare, standard price. TS was very attentive to all the good parts, and frankly I love that. Wish that more therapists would understand how important that is.

Back to the room, very complimentary of everything I had to offer, mediocre massage, good body to body massage, good preliminary attention to detail. Lovely FS, was over very quickly, with her in a crouch above me.

All in all, a typical good experience. I was surprised at one reviewer who said they had fixed the place up. Seemed pretty dingy to me. I actually would love to find someplace that actually was clean and bright and modern and looked legit. There was a nonasian place near boston that tried to look legit (Matrix), but no TS. One other comment. She disappeared with the donation for something like 5 minutes or more. Kind of killed a lot of the build up she had worked so hard on (heh heh, he said hard on).

Thanks guys.

[QUOTE=Bseeks]Hi Guys,

Thanks for the information and research. Allow me to give my credentials up front, since Newbie slamming seems to be an art form here.[/QUOTE]

We only slam newb who do not contribute and ask dumb questions that could be answered by RTFF. You have obviously done your homework and gained the benfit of the collective intel of this board. Good first effort!

Welcome to the DC board!

Lax

[QUOTE=Bseeks]Thanks for the information and research. Allow me to give my credentials up front, since Newbie slamming seems to be an art form here.
[/QUOTE]ROTFLMAO,

You have got a point. NoVa, DC and Balmer have developed the keyboard as an effective replacemnt for the sword like few other boards. The good news is we generally only pick on newbies who are uable to read, think they superior to the lowlives that haunt this mansion, or those who get all bent out of shape if someone does fuck with them on a "virtual" basis.

OTOH, your first post, being an excellent trip report, adding accurate details, and acknowedging proper use of the forum (you read it) garners the opposite reation: WELCOME to DC, please feel free to play in the sandbox anytime!

Honey is a hard-workin little bee...

Trip report Part 1:

BB doesn't post, but his "fictional" presence as LL's wingman is pretty famous. Another running mate may actually sign up RSN. We have selected his screen to be something like Field Tech. FT has been around for a while, mostly on the sidelines, but a notable fluke is he was present at Trashman's retirement party, so he is inner circle by default...

A local boys-night-out and we got to talkin about our favorite subject. Then we got to thinking we could pull this off. And a wild hair later, we are on the road north. Readers must understand the characters here is historical context. LL is an absolute PIG when it comes to drinking, partying, and fucking women. While those with me generally have a hell of a good time, there are times when BB has gotten the short end of the stick:
[post=415372]BB gets sleeping beauty while LL scores Uber-Waif[/post]
[post=415590]Nogales, when BB took one for the team - Cloaudia[/post]
[post=480934]Atlanta, LL got the pick of the AMP[/post]
[post=488227]LL gets served his ATF, BB gets a hottie pulled from him[/post]
The rat bastard remineded me of all of these "incidents" while driving up. He had also drawn designated driver staus on this evening, so I think he was just bitchin... But he still had his heart set on Bebe LoveLOS and since friendship is thicker than pussy juice, I told mamasan to serve my man my fave girl. That was hard, but my concience is clear.

Bebe was there, but Miko and Young are gone. FT drew Honey and reported high marks. Two new girls replacing Young and Miko are Gina and Lily. Gina is young and very very hot looking, small tits. Look is all LL could do, he drew Lily. Lily is somewhere in her thirties, at least I think, and her body is quite exquisite. Tall with dark hair, nips that stick out on B cups, flat tummy, small tight looking ass and neatly trimmed snatch.

She didn't take to LL at all, and seemed nervous about him in the room waiting for the TS. Finally she asked mamasan about LL and came bouncing back into the shower room singing to herself "he issss Ohhh Kay..." I had to laugh, but things did improve.

Still, she had a routine, and would not could not vary from it. No DATY, no breast fest... She administered the treatment and LL was really not allowed to play any reindeer games... A finger up the ass during reverse CG did solve get her job done, or so she must have thought. She seemed not to want to do the massage and took a break before she got around to that. Massage was OK. She was able to read LL was not completely satisfied and apologized profusely. As I said, YMMV, but I didn't have a lot of fun and with the quality of the rest of the stable, I won't repeat.

Lars data:
Face 7
Body 8
TS 7
'tude 5
Sex 5
Overall Lars 5
Please note an AMP newbie would probably rate this one a lot higher. YMMV but this one did not do it for LL. It occurs to me a contributing factor to my less than great experience is the brooding knowledge that BB was having his way with my girl...

Round two is required. We took a break at [post=492490]TBWNN[/post]

Part II:

Refreshed from our break, the twin pigs BB and LL wanted more kimchi. FT dropped out of play for lack of funds. We were ensconced into the kitchen while waiting for our requested ladies. BB had reported wonderful things in his first round, and LL needed to refocus Bebe on who she loves most... :p And BB was energized by FT's wonderful comments about Honey, as well as [post=479145]LL's fanatsy fullfilled, in part[/post] by Honey and chose that dish.

Niether hog was dissapointed.

Bebe was pleased with my Korean language studies, thanks to Sarang Haeyo for his choice of screen name. She really bounced when I confirmed her ATF status... Our escapades are definately YMMV status by this time, suffice to say the wedding will be soon and BB wants to be best man.

Lars data:
Face 8
Body 9+
TS 9
'tude 10
Sex 11
Overall: Private stock keeper.

BB and LL melted back down the stairs, collected our Field Technician from the streets of Chinatown and journeyed back to the land of Virgins, completely contented.

LoveLOS

[QUOTE=Bseeks]Years ago I posted on a now defunct tampa board, and I believe that Drew Park was a regular there. Either that or I recognize his handle from *********. Got a lot of early spa recon from ********* by the way.[/QUOTE]

Yep, it's me! The one and only. My company moved me from Tampa to DC two years ago. Feel free to PM me, if you like...

Drew

Recently LoveLOS and others on this board have posted on AMP providers and experiences and given LARS™ ratings. In the interest of giving newer members a heads up, the following is reposted.


Originally Posted by Laxman #2
With the Winter Olympics upon us, it strikes me that we need to address the problem of subjective scoring. I would like to propose a standard scoring system for the DC AMP scene that I have named the Lax AMP Rating System (“LARS”™) as follows:

0 – I’m going to slit my wrists
1 – Worst ever
2 – I wouldn’t f**k her with ****’s dick
3 – Really bad
4 – Not recommended, avoid
5 – Adequate, standard fare
6 – Good, above average
7 – Superior
8 – Highly recommended, must see
9 – OMFG, best ever
10 – So good I’m keeping this one for myself


Peace and love

Lax

[QUOTE=Laxman #2]

2 – I wouldn’t f**k her with [b]****[/b]’s dick

[/QUOTE]

there are five *'s in Robux.

[QUOTE=lax]2 – I wouldn’t f**k her with ****’s dick

[QUOTE=Loop]there are five *'s in Robux.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

While there are four *'s in "Loop", you may be right about that anyway--Robie is about the only guy I know who would fuck a "2" with his own dick...

LL

[QUOTE=Laxman #2]Recently LoveLOS and others on this board have posted on AMP providers and experiences and given LARS™ ratings. In the interest of giving newer members a heads up, the following is reposted.

Originally Posted by Laxman #2
With the Winter Olympics upon us, it strikes me that we need to address the problem of subjective scoring. I would like to propose a standard scoring system for the DC AMP scene that I have named the Lax AMP Rating System (“LARS”™) as follows:

0 – I’m going to slit my wrists
1 – Worst ever
2 – I wouldn’t f**k her with ****’s dick
3 – Really bad
4 – Not recommended, avoid
5 – Adequate, standard fare
6 – Good, above average
7 – Superior
8 – Highly recommended, must see
9 – OMFG, best ever
10 – So good I’m keeping this one for myself

Peace and love

Lax[/QUOTE]Hey Laxman great work:

I also proposed a Big Red SW Looks Rating System.

I have re-printed a portion of that post from 12/5/06.and 1/3/07.

Listed below are samples of stats and several questions for the learned senior members. Or am I making this to complicate. After several years of mongering they all seem to run together, except those exceptional ladies that mind f**k you so you never forget!

Sample Stats
Looks/body/attitude/service
8/9/9/8

Question for senior members:
• Should we standardize statistics, for escorts and SW?
• Should the evaluation criterion be different for escorts and SW?
• Should there be standards for points given? For example:

Now Laxman your excellent LARS™ ratings, in my Professional Mongering opinion, falls in the overall service category.

Big Red’s SW Looks Rating System:

1. Fugly no teeth, hair or skin, scabs only
2. Robux or Curtis Bay Ugly don’t let your friend f**k her
3. Regular ugly not f**ckable unless stoned
4. Minor ugly ok to f**k if drunk
5. Average ok to f**k any time (this is where Big Red tries to draw the line)
6. Pretty and well groomed
7. Attractive face and appearance
8. Hot and sexy looking
9. Model Material
10. Goddess perfect in every way

First let me state I have never picked up a 10 SW so don’t worry about that one. I usually try to set the bar at a five; however in the past when my judgment was compromised, by alcohol or controlled substances I have woken up with 3’s and 4’s much to my own chagrin. Typically we judge people by our own standards; so here goes:

If they are Robux ugly they must be a 2 for Robux to pass, I picked up a 2 at a bar once, she was so excited to have a drunk man of my caliber, she was dragging me out of the bar to have her way with me. I was saved by a friend who did not have beer goggles or mongervision. Since I have never sunken to a 2, It is conjecture on my part that Robux, the fine gentleman(I use that term loosely) that he is applies a similar standard.

Just trying to set the bar

Big Red

As a less complicated alternate I have re-posted a portion of Oriole Mon’s post from 1/3/07

My scale is quite simple when mongering:

N - No good
Y - Pick up, get some, drop off

[QUOTE=Drew Park]Yep, it's me! The one and only. My company moved me from Tampa to DC two years ago. Feel free to PM me, if you like...

Drew[/QUOTE]

YOu ever get laid in one of those famous Tampa strip clubs?

That is so GAY. LOL

All the girls want is something call Benjamin Franklins. Anything else is just not that important. For the fruit bearers on the board, please give us a break on this GAY thing you're doing. Before long, your going to bring them Tampax or Massengales.

PC out