No good way to say it, so I'm just going to say it
When I read a review that starts off with "I really needed a good therapeutic massage" I roll my eyes and head to the next post. None of you hounds go to these places to get a back rub! C'Mon. , man! If you read a review on here that ends with "no attention paid to the boys" suddenly your need for "therapy" declines.
When I decide to hit one of these places, I'm looking to get my boy massaged by the masseuse's sugar walls. If she happens to un-crick my neck, that's solely good fortune and happened on the way to my deposit.
Rant over. As you were.