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Let me reiterate what apparently everyone else knew... NEVER type in the URL apppearing on any HC picture. I have been running every anti virus, Ad-aware, cclearner, etc, and STILL crappy pop ups appear and my computer runs like molassas.
May I also reiterate: If you post images with a URL on them, do us all a favor and obliterate them before you post so us novices don't make my mistake...
Anyway: see if you like these humorous pix I found on a site that does NOT trash my computer...
Giani
Let's face it, peeing just isn't that funny. Farts on the other hand are hilarious. And what goes along with farts better than...... you got it, taking a dump
The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Caesarian Dump Pain!
That's what this dump and childbirth have in common. Its simply a case of too much dump trying to go through too small a hole, and there's no obstetrician to help.
The Beer Dump
Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.
The Chili Dump
Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.
The Cable Dump
Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone co-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You notice it has three rest rings encircling it. You wonder admiringly, "DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?" You leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.
The Latrine Dump
In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.
The Mona Lisa Dump
This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make daVinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.
The Empty Roll Dump
You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say "Where are the curtains?" Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face...Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.
The Splash Back Dump
You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet and embarrassed. Tip: Blot instead of wiping.
The Aborted Dump
You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do.
The Alfresco Dump
Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of brownies or a patch of poison ivy.
The Childbirth Dump
This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.
The Tijuana Trot Dump
The phrase "Shit Happens" really applies here in a big way. When the ice in your tainted margarita makes contact with your lower intestinal tract, the fun begins. For the next 72 hours you'd be better off if you carried your own portable toilet with you because you will spend most of that time on the pot and the rest of the time in a fetal position. Now you realize why Mexico never
had a navy.
Giani, I had a downloader virus on my computer that was one of those that downloads ad pop up crap, and it was made so that when I ran Ad-aware it would close Ad-aware and make my computer restart. I tried everything from Spysweeper, searching continual forums looking for answers and thought I'd never get it off there. A friend of mine told me about AVG Antispyware and recommened it to me. I put it on my computer as it gives you a free 30 day trial. It not only cleaned all the crap that downloader put on my computer but it allowed me to delete it as well. I would recommend AVG for whatever problem you can't get rid of as it might help you as it helped me, it can be found at grisoft dot com.
You can also try the SUPERAntiSpyware. My folks had the super trojan virus that sent up all kinds of crap on their system and this was the only thing that got rid of it.
Only in America
Happy 4th of July!
However, she's still a merchandiser.
I can tell in the first minute or two of a job interview if the applicant is right for the job!
[QUOTE=Common Man]Humorous photos, we all need a daily laugh.[/QUOTE]
CM: Where did you find that picture of me???
(I'd better clarify that, I'm not talking about the cartoon in the same posting!)
Seriously, we love all the stuff you dig up.
As we always want out partner to say...
Keep it coming!
That gorgeous babe in the black and red bikini is the one and only Dixie Bubbles. Google her for more info. She's retired now (I think?), but back in the olden days, she was HOT!
She's pretty. Not sure why she is in the Humorous Photos section, but I like her anyway.
Who's really in control of the TV remote
The Doc has a heart on.
[QUOTE=Common Man]Head first now that is funny, keep up the great work.[/QUOTE]
The soccer mom is pretty much useless unless you are into fisting.
Gang Bang of One