Hahahaha, funny read but very nice of you to type all that
Reiteration-Do not drive Noob!
Buster is so on point. Waiting in the non-sentry line with a car no matter the time of day will be hours, Sunday is the worst. And good luck finding the sentry line as a first timer, no Spanish reading abilities. If you do drive into TJ, please record it to video so we can all laugh at your adventure.
[QUOTE=BusterHymen;6200378]Tips:
- RTFF completely.
- go to the sister site International Sex Guide (accessible via Front Page) and RTFF.
- Whatever you do, never drive into Mexico!
- Either park near the border, or use the park and ride lot in Chula Vista and ride trolley to the end. Cross border at the pedestrian crossing.
- Don't fuck with pesos. Dollars are accepted everywhere.
- You don't need any Spanish. All girls understand Fucky and sucky.
- As a first timer with no experience and no Spanish, you will overpay and likely get ripped off.
- If you use a paper passport, please recognize the Mexicans may stamp it. (Might have some splain to do back home)..[/QUOTE]
Thank you for your contributions!
[QUOTE=Nothing24;6203263]I got word one of my ATF's would be back at HK this week so made plans for a Friday afternoon trip since she mainly works during the day. She had taken off back home for the summer but it ended up being an extended trip as she had family issues to deal with. Got to the club around 3 pm and there was a lot more hot chicks than usual for this time of day. This is one of the best times of the year to visit TJ as a lot of girls are wanting to make money for the holiday season. Things start slowing down about a week or two before Christmas as a lot of them head back to their hometowns for Christmas and New Years.
Ran into my girl not long after arriving. Had some drinks as we talked about what's been going on in our lives since the last time we saw each other. We were off in a corner booth cuddling and kissing the entire time. After some drinks went upstairs to the hotel for a great session, full on GFE / BBFSCIP. Wanted me to return to see her asap. Told her I might swing by Sunday, but I also want to see a girl from the Chicago club I wrote about on here who I met on Halloween that ended up being a PSE. Decisions, decisions.[/QUOTE]Thank you so much, for taking the time and sharing your absolutely fantasy hot experiences you've been having down in TJ.
That Halloween Chicago Club girl story, has been in the back of my mind since you posted it, and will probably be the inspiration to make me to take an adventure and cross the border in the very near future!
Trip report October 22 Day 1
For L'Enfant Sauvage.
Once again it's been a while. Despite numerous requests from my fine amigos for reports on the few trips I've made since my last post; I've neglected to do so. Not only for the reasons I've stated prior, but also because frankly I'm tired of the sound of my own voice. I'm in the transit industry in Las Vegas, but my job detail is communications. When not doing reports or other documentation, I literally get paid primarily to talk all day every day. It gets old. Really. As a point of fact, I'm making a lateral move within my company after the first of the year to get away from that job function. I'm doing this trip report as a personal favor for my brother from another mother whom we'll heretofore refer to as "Los Padres" who sacrificed and made time for me on both my October trips despite serious obstacles. So, either thank him or scold him depending on how you feel about me and / or my reports. Love you bro, no homo (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'm going to to my best on this one even though it's been a week since I arrived in San Diego from Vegas, and also despite the fact that I brought back a nasty bug this time (feels like cold / flu) and am still feeling completely bricked. I knew I was fucked when I boarded for the flight to San Diego because it seemed everyone was coughing and / or sneezing. I remember telling my buddy "fuck, I wish I had brought my mask". The big brain struck once again, and I didn't think to ask the crew for one. So. I just put on some Obituary (will be seeing them here in Vegas in a week with Amon Amarth and Cattle Decapitation) and I'm going to try to bang these out. I was there 3 days, plan on me uploading three trip reports.
So what have I been doing since my last report? I came down to TJ in early June to meet up with a TJ Amigo from NorCal (whom I always seem to miss by a week or less on every trip. No bullshit). Fortunately, others stopped by as well, and I got to hang with a few old amigos and a new amigo I met at Tropical. You know who you are. I returned again in late July for my birthday. That was a solo trip and let's face it, those are never as fun as meeting up with fellow degenerate perverts. I also made another epic road trip with my dear amigo "Rockstar" from Vegas as a touch and go in TJ before seeing Meshuggah at the Hollywood Palladium in early October (see my May trip reports for more on the Rockstar). There was a full moon the night of the Meshuggah show that trip as well; I swear I am not making that up.
Time for some background on this trip. I've been rooming with a good friend since March when we were sharing a house with 2 other dudes. Coincidentally enough, the property is owned by a mutual friend that I work with. And who was mentioned in my report from May regarding a trip in February. After some drama in the dwelling, our mutual friend and landlord decided to take advantage of the housing market here in Vegas and sell the house. So my boy and I grabbed a 2 bedroom a few blocks away. Like me, my boy is a filthy sinning near-animal and also enjoys tricking for pussy. He's been listening to good-time stories about TJ from both me and our mutual friend for a while now. When I returned from my road trip in May and was giving him a rundown of the adventure, he confided in me that he would start saving for a trip in late October to celebrate his birthday on Dia de los Muertos. I advised he might want to go the week prior as that is the traditional time that HK and Tropical have their respective Halloween parties, but he was set on going the Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday after. As those were his natural days off work, and closer to his cumpleanos. He was of the opinion that the Zona would be off the chain because Mexicans take the day of the dead seriously. Coincidentally enough those are my days off as well, so it was a lock. I did make sure to whet his appetite and to build the anticipation as much as possible with highlights from my trips this summer. Like the Rockstar from my trip in May, my boy did not have a current passport so he started the process in July if I remember correctly. He still hasn't received his book as of the time of this writing, but followed my advice and paid for the card / I'd and that one DID come about a month ago, so we were all set.
So, for a little on my boy. My buddy / roomie is Puerto Rican / Black and grew up in The Burroughs of New York. He was raised in a bilingual household, so speaks Espanol fluently (he actually helps me with my studies). I've told him on several occasions that he was going to be fishing with dynamite down there, and how jealous I am of his fluency. Frankly speaking (and at the risk of sounding immodest), I can't begin to imagine the kind of damage I could potentially do in Tijuana if I spoke Spanish well. I suppose I am not alone here, and this thought has ocurred to every last gringo punter that has spent more than an hour in the Zona. He's also a natural hustler currently working 3 jobs, one of which is at our very own Hustler Club here in Vegas. He's worked night clubs and strip clubs his whole adult life. He claims to have been in TJ in the 90's, but I am dubious (though have never called him on it) and even if he isn't talking shit, surely the TJ of today does not compare to what he would have seen in the 90's, right? In any event, I'd been relishing a great amount of secret joy knowing that he was destined to get knocked on his fucking ass and absolutely steamrolled down there. This would primarily be due to me having suffered through his know-it-all attitude and incredulous expressions each and every time I would try to explain to him that he was going to have to see the Zona (and Hong Kong Club in particular) to believe it. There were many times leading up to our trip that he would mention that he wanted to try to fit in a visit to Deja-Vu Tijuana while we were there (because it's a sister club to Hustler here in Vegas and he could get us hooked up) and I would resist the urge to roll my eyes, instead telling him that I was down to do whatever he wanted, it was to be about him.
Fast forward to a week prior to departure. As I was gearing up for another Two-A-Day at the gym in yet another vain attempt at getting my sorry ass ready for the insanity that is La Zona Norte, and I stopped out on the patio (smoking section) to give my amigo fair warning before walking out the door. "Yo playboy, you've got SEVEN days. If I were you I'd get my happy ass to the gym and start doing push-ups, sit-ups, and working that cardio (see rule #1). Those putas aren't like these ratchets here in Vegas; they DON'T PLAY. You're going to get rekt either way, but if you start today you can negate some of the damage. You go down there like you are right now, and you're going to get MURDERED. " Despite gentle encouragement for several weeks leading up to this one, my advice had fallen on deaf ears. "I'm not trying to nag you or hurt your feelings here my man, I'm your friend, and I'm tryna look out. " He just smiled at me and went back to watching Netflix in his room. I licked my lips, his impending destruction was going to be absolutely delicious. A few days before we left my boy rolled up on me to show me all the ones he'd been saving from his tips at the club. If I remember correctly, he had 140 or 160 on him. I thought to myself "how adorable, he still thinks we are going to a strip club". I told him he didn't need nearly that many as we would be breaking 20's for drinks / food / etc and reminded him once again that we were going to brothels not strip clubs per se. I offered to buy 40 off him as to take some of the "bulge" off his stack.
As luck would have it, I had to suffer through a schedule adustment and report early in addition to working a two-person post solo the day prior to our departure to cover for one of my co-worker's PTO. Like a kid the night before Christmas, I had been unable to sleep well and jumped out of bed early Sunday morning despite being destroyed after finishing my shift Saturday. I hit the gym one last time without any caffeine (I had planned on sleeping on the plane, trolley, and at Cascadas after check in). My boy had to work his normal Job 2 Saturday graveyard shift as well, so when we boarded Sunday Morning we were both already on fumes. My boy was super hyped though. I didn't get a word in on the way to Harry Reid, and the poor girl sitting in my window seat (the joke was on her, as I prefer the aisle) had her ear talked off for 48 minutes while I dozed on and off during the flight. A fitting punishment for taking my seat without having the decency to ask first or even acknowledge. Female entitlement, what is it and how does it work? While we were on the 992 to America Plaza my boy told me that he had abandoned his plan to sleep from 1500 - 2000 once we checked into our rooms at Cascadas, and was going for it. It was then that I decided I'd have some coffee with my sandwich at the little bagel place across the street from where you catch the Blue Line. Fuck it, let's fire the afterburners on day one, life is short. Once again, I reminded myself that I can rest when I'm dead. It actually worked out well. I text "Los Padres" from the bagel shop and he said he was aiming for 1500-1600 for our meet up.
Once we crossed (dude just waived us through) we waited at the HK shuttle area for about 15 minutes before deciding to break out and just grabed a cab for $6. It was Sunday early afternoon and the smart bet was that the Zona shuttle was doing drop-offs only. Naturally, it was too early yet to check in, so we grabbed my boy a VIP card, checked our mochillas with security, and took a walk about after getting our free VIP drink receipts at the gift shop. I stopped him just in the nick of time before he spoiled the trip by walking into HK right then and there. "No, no no no. Not yet playboy". I walked him around the block while we appraised the paradita talent on display (it was light). There was no shortage of camel-toe on display through the yoga pants on the chicas on the west side of the street as you climb the hill, and one BANGER in particular. Her cuntmeat was definitely calling my name. In other news, my buddy grabbed a pair of shades from a street vender near the Arch for $7 American I think, and we continued past the Arch so that he could register it as a landmark as needed. We also ventured down to my favorite Farmacia across from the Wax Museum as he had confided in me that he was finally ready to dip his toe into the wonderful waters of vitamin V. I still had some 50's on me from my last trip earlier in the month, so I told my Amigo I'd hook him up for today and that we'd return tomorrow after grabbing a Cubano and some cafe up the street.
We did have some difficulty getting sorted after check in. Firstly, despite a generous tip, the guy at reception did not honor my request for rooms in the back adjoining the carpeted hallways. That's twice in a row now, at least they didn't stick me on the 3rd floor this time. Why am I buying this VIP card again? Also, it seemed that one of HK's finest putas tried to flush a tampon or a host of them down the john in my room the night / morning before. There was the unrolled remainder of one still floating in the bowl when I checked the plumbing. Naturally we both had to shit our legs off after we checked in. Fortunately for me (or the maintenance guy rather) I waited to unleash until after I tested the toilet. The first staff guy I approached assured me he would help, then disappeared. I had to go back down to registration to find someone that gave half a shit. So here I am suffering and trying not to dance while Frick and Frack were attempting to clear the plumbing to no avail. It can never be easy. That added another ninety minutes to our start while I was getting my room changed, washing the travel grime off myself, and finally getting to relieve myself. I usually pick Cascadas so that I can drag the paraditas in if they're willing, and because I have a stalker at Tropical / Rizo. Since I require running water in my room, Jalios and the dump above Adelita's are not an option. This will be my last stay at Cascadas however, I'm really tired of their bullshit (more on this later). I mean seriously, can I at least get one washrag? I'll take my chances across the street. If and when I return to the Zona.
I keep "Los Padres" abreast of the developments via text as the plot unfolds. He's telling me it's going to be closer to 1600 for him anyway, so no harm no foul. I let him know we are going across the street next to OXXO to grab a few liters of cheap bottled water for our stay (rule #2 - hydration), then we are headed to Azul and asked him if he could meet us there. He tells me that he's at the border changing out some currency and that he'll see us soon. Now, I had been talking up the cuisine in TJ for a while, and had been excited to see my buddy's take as he had graduated culinary school, studied abroad, and worked in various high profile kitchens before I met him. We took a table in the back of the balcony at Azul and we chopped it up over a cafe while we watched the happenings in the alley great and small while waiting on the Wild Child. My boy caught on right away and was giving a play-by-play of his astute observations of the street hustle. I wasn't surprised at all. Not long after we got started "Los Padres" joined us. Introductions were made, and he informed us he would only be able to stay a few hours. My boy and I both ordered the Ribeye (as I've probably mentioned before, I love to pair red meat with pussy and I wanted to get a head start this trip), "Los Padres" passed on grub for reasons known only to him. We all shot the shit while I wolfed down one of the thickest steaks I've ever eaten. So that we could get on with the show. I asked birthday boy what he thought of the food at Azul. Oddly enough, he seemed really impressed. I noticed he didn't leave much on his plate, and it was a HUGE serving.
We now pause this report for station identification. I have reached the end of the Obituary playlist, and am now switching to Amon Amarth.
Back to the show, we did Tropical, Chicago, and Adelitas first. I think it was in that order, but I'm not positive. I distinctly remember being in the Alley at some point, but it seems like it was between Chicago and Adelita's. I remember my buddy getting ready to jay-walk and step out in front of a car, and reminding him to be careful letting him know that he didn't want to draw any attention to himself and / or to give "the man" any reason to hassle him down here. We might have even stopped in La Carreta and / or Gold Palace. Truthfully, the little clubs all look the same to me, I haven't spent much time in them overall. I don't remember much going on in Tropical, but my buddy found a Chica in a white dress or she him. We were sitting at a table / booth near the newest entrance on the west side of the front bar. My TJ Amigo "Los Padres" (being cursed with that charm and animal magnetism like he is) was under constant pressure from those thirsty putas. They swooped on him like a seasoned squadron. He was bobbing and weaving like a prime Ali if I remember correctly. I'm wiping away a tear as I write this. My buddy wisely listened to our advise not to pull the trigger until we went to HK and told the girl in the white dress that he'd be back after asking her when she ended her shift. I don't think a single ficha was bought, but I wasn't paying super close attention. I had my head on a swivel. Despite la lunatica traditionally being off on Sundays and Mondays, I wasn't going to get caught lackin.
We went into Chicago after my boy and Los Padres took a shot at the door of the finest Tequila Mexico has to offer. The first thing I remember is running into mesera Alejandra and he chubby braided mesera friend Wednesday Adams near the front bar. I think she was dressed as the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland that day. She was still giving me shit (in a nice way) for blowing her off when I had been down earlier in October. That particular trip she told me that "I can accompany you" as soon as she seated the "Rockstar" and I that first day. If I'm not mistaken "Los Padres" was in the mix. I was going to bang her at the time as a bucket list thing, and hooked her up with a ficha the second day I was in there, but our negotiations fell through when we were doing the ficha thing. I ended up stumbling ass-backwards into a legit wildcat at Tropical that first night (when Alejandra propositioned me) instead, so it was a major win. I remember getting a good chuckle the day after I returned from L. A. And one of the punters on a different board put in the chat feed that he had just sessioned with mesera Alejandra from CC, and that the service was good. Bravo amigo, you'll have to tell me the story over a cerveza sometime. Anyway, we spent most of our time relaxing and watching the girls on the poles. I don't remember anyone trying to run game on Los Padres, but a familiar MILF had convinced the birthday boy to buy her a ficha. I had slung that particular hardbody onto "The Rockstar's" lap back in May, and he had reported she was his best of that trip by far. I had run into her again earlier in October. She is calling herself "Jennifer" or at least was that day, but my negotiations with her fell through as well. Even though she was wearing those god-damned fishnets again, I thought to myself that I might come back for her later if I don't find anything else. Maybe negotiations would go more smoothly this time. Before we left, my buddy-roomie threw a Chica spinner at me wearing crazy-eye ice blue contacts with pink dyed hair dressed as Captain America. Wasn't a fan of her contacts or hair (sorry I was too tired to feel festive) - or her tit job for that matter, but her abs, ass, and legs were CRAZY. Her face was not chicken liver either. She was calling herself "Julia". She speaks good English, so communication was smooth and easy. I let her know that I was staying at Cascadas, and asked her if she'd be willing to see me OTC. She said yes, and text my number. I locked her in, and told her she'd see me again. I made a mental note before we departed. While we were making our way to the door, Los Padres notices that the birthday boy is toting his cerveza. "Hey man, you can't take that out of here". Good looking out amigo. My boy finished it before we got to the door.
Next up was Adelita's. There were some lookers there to be sure, but as is often the case they were all pretty thick and there was no shortage of tragic fake assess milling about. Why the fuck? Why do the girls do this shit? Can they not see how bad that plastic looks on the others? I spent most of my time leaning against a bar stool on the east side of the club while two hefty chicas were trying to enspell the gents with their latina sorcery at a table next to the bar. A girl with one of the most beautiful faces I've ever laid eyes on pulled up on the stool next to me. Subtle. God I love * Not long after, she realized that I was determined to ignore her and she made her move. I tipped her a $1 propina after she showed me her pussy (what a specimen) and I let her grind on me a little. If it wasn't for her rekt psuedo-ass, I might have pulled the trigger. She even had that super soft skin that tickles my primary fetish. I just didn't need all that extra. And it was still early. Our special guest The Wild Child informs us that he just has time for a quick drink in Hong Kong, then has to bounce. The boys shed their girls, I think Los Padres had a particularly hard time shaking his. That curse! How he suffers.
Batter Up! It's finally time. I didn't know really what to expect. It had ocurred to me that maybe I was jaded, and sleeping on my buddy. Maybe he was a seasoned as he claimed and wouldn't be fazed by the spectacle that is Hong Kong. Or maybe I would be correct after all and he would short circuit as most do their first time. There was only one way to find out. In we go. We went to the bar and turned in our coupons. I think we had two rounds, but I am not positive. I know I only had a single shot, then went back to water. We milled about as my buddy tried to take it all in. To his credit he didn't short circuit. I looking back, I think he was buffered by fatigue. I know I was. More on that later. I saw several priors including the tall athletic bombshell Yudi de Veracruz on the main stage by the stairs. I had spent time with her on my birthday, and again earlier in October. The birthday boy noticed her as well with pronounced exuberance. "Yeah, that's the tall gorgeous mulatto girl I was telling you about". She looks better in person, no? I had previously shown him a blurry selfie from my potato phone taken from the table in Hong Kong that night in July. Not long after, my buddy spotted a complete knockout with long wavy auburn hair, blood red lipstick and what can only be described as a jaw-dropping face by the adjoining ramp to Las Chavelas. In a word she was flawless. I don't know if she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in Hong Kong, but she was definitely in the top 3. Los Padres, can I get a witness? I was proud of the birthday boy's zero fucks given attitude on approach, but I knew she was going to be a hard sell. A trophy man's trophy. To be sure. I was watching the whole negotiation with interest, and it didn't appear to be going well. This girl knew her worth. You'd be hard pressed to touch a girl like that in Vegas for under $5 K. No hyperbole. After his recon, he advised us she wanted 2 bills for 30 minutes, and although promised besos in the room, refused to kiss him in the bar. He wisely followed my coaching prior to our trip. I advised him that if a chica won't kiss him in the bar like he's her long lost love, to pass no matter how bad he wants her. I think he dodged disappointment there. He did much better than I would have my first time, that much is certain. I don't remember seeing her again the rest of the trip oddly enough. Maybe Tom Brady flew her to Paris, who knows? We made our way around and ended up finally near the soapy stage in the back. My buddy was taking in the dildo show when he spotted something he liked by the stairs. While he was shooting his shot, "Los Padres" let me know that it was time for him to break out. I thanked him for making time, and told him how glad I was that we were able to share another afternoon together in the promised land. He said his goodbyes to the birthday boy and disappeared into the crowd. My buddy told me he was going arriba with his new best friend. I wished him luck, told him you never forget your first HK chica, and let him know I was headed back to Chicago for a second try with the MILF. I told him to message me when he finished up and we'd meet up for a bite at Sushi One or whatever. I went back up to my room at Cascadas to grab punting funds (I only ever have on me what I'm going to need for drinks / food when in TJ), a condom, and my bluetooth speaker. I brought no shortage of devil music with me this trip. A man needs inspiration after all.
Once I was back at Chicago, I quickly spotted the MILF. She was back by the hot tubs in front of the far end of the bar. As I was making my way back, I noticed that she and a masero were trying to help a chica that looked to have fallen out. I can feel the Architect mixed up in this somehow as they both carry her to the back with the help of one more masero. I pull up next to the bar and wait patiently. I'm thinking that it's just not in the code as she finally comes back out. I can't remember if she saw me or I waved her over, but soon enough we found ourselves in negotiations. When she said she needed a bill, I told her that since I had to buy the room, the best I could do was $80. She wouldn't budge. First she tried to tell me that management had told the girls that they'd be fined if they took less than $100. I laughed and typed on google translate "That's odd, I've taken a bunch of girls up from here for $80. " She comes back with "We just had the meeting this week. " This * right here. God, I love * I just smiled and typed "I understand". It truth, I really don't find her that attractive. I was just going off the glowing review from my buddy "The Rockstar" back in May. Whatever. Almost immediately after she walks off I turn around towards the front of the club thinking I'm headed back to Hong Kong, and who is walking up to me in all her glory but "Captain America" herself. I hadn't seen her when I walked in, perhaps she was upstairs getting smashed while I was getting the run around from "Jennifer". I was pretty horny at this point, so I didn't waste much time. Oddly enough, "Julia" must have missed the meeting with management, because she jumped at $80. On the way to the room she told me she is from Venezuela, and told me her real name. I told her I've met a few REALLY nice Venezuelans at the various "Las Casitas" in Vegas, that I'm a big fan of her countrywomen. I was starting to get excited, I knew this was going to be a really good one. I put on some Behemoth (it was Sunday after all) and we were off to the races. Let me tell you something. That little puta is a rockstar. One of the best arribas I've had in Tijuana, and I insisted on a cover for everything. That is really saying something. That little demon should be making porn, no bullshit. I couldn't tell if I was fucking her, or she was fucking me. It was THAT good. I was trying to wash her lipstick out of my beard before I got dressed but quickly realized I was going to need shampoo. She asked me to walk her back down. I tipped her $20 before we exited the room thinking to myself how thankful I was that the MILF tried to hustle me. I silently thanked the Architect and made an upside-down sign of the cross as we descended the stairs together.
While walking back to Cascadas to get water, I text my boy to let him know what I'm up to. He text back that he "destroyed" his chica, and that she was "in love". I'm guessing they are back down in the bar and she is ficha fucking him. I text him that I am washing the lipstick out of my beard and that Captain America and I fucked the dogshit out of each other. I fucked Captain America in Tijuana Mexico. There I said it. Shouldn't there be style points in there somewhere? I text him that I need to drop the kids off at the pool because that steak ran right through me, and that I'll be down in a second. He texts back that they are in Hong Kong in the room with the Spanish music. I chuckle and tell him that that is a bar: Las Chevelas. I tell him I'll be down in a few. Before I finish my business in my room, he texts that he is coming to his room for some more agua. We had both worked up an appetite by this point so we agreed on Sushi One.
As soon as we walk in and sit down, my boy notices that none other than the maseras two. Alejandra and her chubby braided friend Wednesday Adams are along the back wall enjoing their order. He spoke to them in Spanish for a bit while I nodded and waived. My boy was disappointed at the offerings (he is a Sushi afficionado) but finally settled on something. I think I got a dragon or eel roll, I can't remember to be honest. I was satisfied, as always. My buddy recounts his adventure with his first Hong Kong pull. He is very proud of himself and his half black heritage reveling in the fact that she just couldn't handle his size. She tapped out early and told him she was done for the night. I resisted the temptation to inform him that she was probably sore from being run through Friday and Saturday night, and let him enjoy the fantasy. That's why we come here isn't it? To live like kings in blissful delusion, however brief. Regarding the viagra, he informs me that he is now a BELIEVER. "I've been trying to tell you" was all I said. I thanked him again for bringing Captain America to my attention, as she wouldn't have been my first pick. I also detail the bullshit hustle the MILF tried to put on me. Almost as if on cue (Architect, I'm looking at you), whom walks by and waves to us outside the window but the Chicago MILF calling herself Jennifer. My buddy called her in, and fed her a slice of his roll off his chopsticks. I was silently praying to Lucifer that she'd choke on it. She disappears, we finish up and decide to make some more rounds. The birthday boy wants to check back at Tropical for the chica in the white dress, and I want to go back into Adelitas hoping to spot my Esposa Cubana from the May trip calling herself "Tsunami". She would make the perfect gift for the birthday boy.
We killed a round or two at Tropical, but it was a bust. I can't remember if the girl in the white was hemmed up, or we didn't see her, but my buddy whiffed. I did run into a busty chica with remarkable naturals that I had briefly spoken to earlier in October. She asked if I remembered her and gave me a hug. I told her I did, but I couldn't tell you her name. She asked if I wanted company, and I told her I had been cheating on her with Captain America. I'm a gentleman like that. She was not particularly amused, though my room-mate was dead on the spot. I told her I'd look for her tomorrow, and I meant it. Those tits! And I'm not even a tit guy. I wasn't able to hang for long, and told my buddy as much. It is just so fucking stupid loud in there most days / nights. They need to give that PA a fucking rest already. Also, this shit with the girls pan-handling after they dance. Make no mistake, that's what it is. Look girl, with all respect. If I wanted to tip you, you'd know because I'd put it in your g-string while you dance or rain it on the stage. Really.
We found our way back to Adelitas. Oddly, the talent had been better in the afternoon. Most everybody was already locked down making ficha money for the bar. We did another couple of rounds before making our way to the door. On our way out, my buddy noticed a thick milfy type with scarlet red lipstick matching her outfit and long thin bleached blond loose curls at the bar. He talked to her a bit and was seriously considering but didn't want to get a short time. They exchanged numbers for a potential OTC cita. I told him I wanted to walk around and check the paraditas, so we did. The talent had improved since the afternoon which was expected, but nothing spectacular. We eventually made our way into La Carreta and Gold Palace.
La Carreta was empty except for a few wildebeests, and I couldn't GTFO fast enough. Sometimes when you walk into a place in TJ you feel like you just walked into the beginning of a horror movie, you can't put your finger on it, but everyone's eyes just don't look right. This was most definitely one of those times. Maybe it was the costumes and my fatigue. Who knows. Back in the Alley we found a tongue-in-cheek group dressed like El Papa de Diablo and maybe Satanic Cardinals. There are Cardinals at the Vatican, right? I was raised Catholic, I should know this. I got a few picks of the birthday boy with the unholy clergy. Surprisingly Gold Palace had some nice talent (I got super lucky there early October, but that is a story for another time). Now, I'm not talking Hong Kong stock, but the chicas easily could have worked Tropical or Adelita's. I truly felt like chum in the water. I guess I made a mistake before entering when I cheekily asked the male host out front if they had beautiful girls, and if they were horny. I guess he took me seriously, because he was rounding them all up. Gulp. You might be a smart-ass if. Anyway, there was one sitting with what appeared to be her amiga at a front table by the bar just eye-fucking the shit out of me. Her eyes were easily as crazy as my lunatic stalker's from Tropical and her face was unconventionally beautiful. Her stare was a direct challenge, and I responded in the only way I know how. By scooping her and picking her up over my head. Fucking fishnet, god damnit! Why fishnet? She played along like we were a pair of ice skaters mid routine. I set her back down slowly with as much grace as I could muster as she gave me a sultry smile that looked sincere. Despite the fishnet, I'm feeling her in a big way and wondering if I've got another in me this night. I ask her her name, she is calling herself "Zafiro" of all things. I ask her if she can go to Cascadas (with my buddy translating) and she tells me "only off the clock" more or less while she strokes my meat puppet through my trouserpants. I give her my number and lock her in, I tell her I'll reach out tomorrow.
My boy and I dip and agree to hit HK one more time. The crowd has picked up from earlier, but they still only have the one side open. All the levels upstairs were open though if I remember correctly. Maybe I was just tired, or all the hotties were locked down (I never really look at the tables when prowling in there) but it seemed like the talent had been better in the afternoon. We were in there maybe 30 minutes and then called it. We were both completely busted at this point, and my buddy had been drinking quite a bit (like me, he does not drink often). I had only had that one shot of Don Julio with him and my TJ amigo Los Padres, but was ready for bed all the same. We agree to reach out in the AM and found our way back to our rooms.
Day 1 was in the books.
Round 2 with Halloween chica from last night
[QUOTE=PoonTangJohnny;6203649]Thank you so much, for taking the time and sharing your absolutely fantasy hot experiences you've been having down in TJ.
That Halloween Chicago Club girl story, has been in the back of my mind since you posted it, and will probably be the inspiration to make me to take an adventure and cross the border in the very near future![/QUOTE]Yes sir! Plenty of fun times to be had in TJ if you can find the time to make your way down there. You know I had to go back for Round 2 with the Halloween hottie! As much as I wanted to see my GFE HK girl again, I couldn't pass up one last PSE session before this Chicago chick heads back to her hometown for the rest of the month. She promises she'll be back on December 1. Got the the club around 10 pm last night. Unfortunately she was busy having drinks with a client so I had to decide to either wait or go visit Hong Kong / Adelitas / Tropical. Figured I would grab a seat and enjoy a drink for a while, sometimes it's fun to scope out the scene and do some monger scouting. Saw a girl who used to work at Adelitas, wrote about a pretty great session I had with her on October 17. She came over asking if I remembered her. Said of course, she sat on my my lap and started giving me little kisses asking if I wanted to fuck her again. She was looking amazing wearing the tiniest string bikini imaginable. While she's definitely worth taking for another spin, I of course was waiting on the other girl. I had to tell her maybe next time and tipped her a couple bucks. I was sitting by the giant jacuzzi they have set up towards the back. There was a pretty hot chick in there completely nude doing a little show. Once she got a little crowd going she busted out a 10 inch dildo and started sucking on it. A couple guys who kept tipping her got to handle the dildo and start fucking her with it. She bent over in front of their faces as they worked the dildo from the back. Some other girl even got in on the action and started working the dildo as well. At least I was being entertained while I was waiting. After the girl was done entertaining I saw a stunningly beautiful girl come around. Very young, certainly no more than 18-19 years old straight out of barely legal magazine, the Latina version. As a point of reference she immediately reminded me of this girl I follow on IG, but even younger. Only difference is this IG girl has D cups and the girl in Chicago's boobs are just a notch lower, but still a full C cup and all natural to boot!
[URL]https://www.instagram.com/p/CgSUJxMPvVa/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=[/URL]
I had never seen this girl before, she certainly has to be spanking new on the scene. My eyes were popping out of my head. Thankfully she stood near me so I could study every inch of hers. She was wearing a nice red string bikini. The body was so ripe! I start thinking fuck this other girl I'm waiting on, I need to take this one! But the thing is for as beautiful as this new girl is, new means she is more than likely to not be a top tier provider yet. In other words, forget about anything near a GFE session. Would probably be a standard CBJ and CFS. Now don't get me wrong, for a lot of guys, her beauty might supersede whatever quality of service she can provide and I completely understand that. But tonight I was waiting on my PSE session. Instead I would use this time to study her behavior and hopefully some guys would buy her some drinks so I could see if she's flirty, outgoing or more on the reserved side. Unfortunately I only saw 1 guy but her drinks and he was a much older man. He could have even been her great grandfather since she is so young. She sat with him for a while as the old man bought her a few drinks and some candy. She was being very nice but not flirty at all. You can't blame her seeing as she's barely legal and this man was at least in his 70's, maybe 80. You can't really gauge her behavior off this man, need a decent looking guy under 40 to see exactly how far she's willing to go.
I saw more things but I'll try to keep this report as short as possible. My girl was taking too long with her client having drinks and even ordering a full blown meal at their table. At least she wasn't practically fucking him in the club like we were on Halloween LOL. At one point she excused herself to go to the bathroom but used it as an excuse to come talk to me since she knew I was there. She apologized profusely and said the other client wouldn't let her go and just wants some company and would try to make herself available as soon as possible. I told her no worries, I was going to go check out the other clubs and maybe I'll be back later. She could reach out on WhatsApp when she's free. Spent a little while in Hong Kong enjoying the scene over there, passed by Adelitas and Tropical as well. Just as I was about to head home the girl hits me up apologizing again and says she can see me now if I still want to. Seeing as how she's leaving out of town today I couldn't pass it up. As soon as I got there she was by the entrance waiting for me and greeted me with a DFK. A waiter asked if we wanted to grab a table for some drinks. On one hand I wanted to take her straight to the hotel to bang her but on the other hand, grabbing a booth for some foreplay sounded fun as well. Ultimately decided to grab a booth at the back of the club again. Once we had our drinks she immediately sat on top of my lap facing me as we DFK'd and fully groped each other. She popped her titties out of her bra and stuck her nipples in my mouth. This is one of her favorite things. She likes them sucked hard too, no gentle shit. In fact she demands it. She then turns around while still sitting on my lap, so now she is facing away. She flips her hair to the opposite side so I can lick and suck on her neck. I reach around inside her panties while doing this and start fingering her and rubbing her clit. She was getting really wet. She then takes my hand I've been fingering her with and starts sucking on my fingers wanting to taste herself. Now you see why I passed up on the 18 year old. She then stands up, much like last time and starts bending over. I know what she wanted. I slide her panties to the side and start licking her asshole. She then turns around and gives me the deepest DFK. I love how sexual and dirty this woman is. She then starts sucking my fingers, really making them wet so I could then rub her nipples with them. After several minutes of more of the same she says ok you fuck me now. These were literally the only words she said to me so far since we sat down LMAO. Sure let's go!
In the room more of the same as last time, full on BBBJ porn star level cock worship. At least 15 straight minutes this time around and once again. She then makes me sit on the edge of the bed and starts giving me a lap dance, basically camel sliding. In fact my dick was basically inside of her several times as she was grinding away on me. But she didn't go for full on intercourse yet so I didn't push it. She then places her hands on the wall and bends over and with her asshole and pussy full exposed and I dove in for some DATO & DATY from the back. When she turns around a couple minutes later, of course she gives me a DFK wanting to taste herself on me. She tells me to lie down for cowgirl and finally reaches for the condom. I wonder if she'll ever go bare. Perhaps if I gave her an extra tip she'd go for it or maybe she thinks I wouldn't necessarily want that either. Anyway, it's a little fun thing I'm always going to be interested to see if she ever goes for. I'm perfectly fine using a rubber for fucking. This time, after cowgirl and doggy, when I got on for mish she busted out a little vibrator to put on her clit as I was fucking her so that was kinda fun. Hey, anything that could possibly make this girl even hornier, I'm all for! She was super wet as she shook and had her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Again I had to go for the CIM / COF finish as I know she is a straight cock fiend! I climb off and she yanks off the rubber and attacks my dick with a beam of energy. I can clearly say she is now the best head giver I have ever known, hobby or no hobby, she's the ONE! I held out as long as I could but of course she rightfully earns my nut as I exploded all over her tongue she was flicking on the head. She didn't even let me get up until she made sure every last drop was out like a true cum ****. She then took a quick shower and we talked about what she'll be up to for the rest of the month back in her hometown. Sucks I barely got to know her and she's already going away for a little bit. At least I have my Hong Kong "GF" to keep me company in the meanwhile, as she is no slouch herself and also a little firecracker in her own right. Maybe of these days I'll repost some of my initial fun encounters with her from ISG.
TJ Trip report October 22 Day 2
The Grenade.
Today's trip report is brought to you by the fine folks at Cattle Decapitation. Yes, they are piping through my headphones as I type this.
I awoke Monday to one missed call and two text message notifications from my boy, and two texts from "Los Padres". The time was sometime around 0830. I had enjoyed the blessed sleep of the dead. I was so tired Sunday night when I rolled into my room, I didn't even think to put in the earplugs I had packed. I do remember hearing heels on the hallway floor as I was nodding off, but they rapidly faded into the distance as I spiraled down into a deep wakeless slumber. I washed those thoughts out of my mind as I looked through the texts. My boy had text me around 0530 that he was hungry and headed to Azul for a bite. He text again at around 0730 requesting that I call as soon as I got the message. I gave him a buzz and when he answered he said that he was ok but had caught a hassle through the night. He didn't sound like himself at all, and quickly relayed that the Policia had robbed him at gunpoint because he had been walking with an open container. I asked him if he had eaten yet, and he said no. I told him to give me a few minutes to use the restroom and freshen up, and we'd head down to Azul. I messaged Los Padres back and told him what we had been up to after he bounced yesterday, and told him about the birthday boy's disaster while I was getting myself sorted. Los Padres described La Policia as "straight predators". I haven't seen anything to indicate otherwise in truth.
Before we went down to eat, my boy came to my room and briefly recounted to me what had happened as I slept. He told me that he had been unable to sleep well due to his room smelling like "a sewer". He said it smelled like it was coming from the AC unit, and had been making him nauseous. He was telling me that he had been getting a headache and decided to get some fresh air and a bite at Azul to settle his stomach. Unfortunately for him, he had not yet learned the layout of the Minecraft Hotel that is Cascadas. He exited street side (our rooms were on the north side of the 5th floor) and was trying to walk around back to the alley to enter Azul. He was just south of where the taco stand used to be before the sidewalk construction had begun. He told me that Policia Municipal had stopped him because he had been toting a cerveza on the streets. I said "Bro, Los Padres JUST told you yesterday in Chicago that you can't walk around with an open container down here, I JUST told you yesterday not to give Policia any reason to fuck with you". Obviously, he had been more faded than I thought when we called it quits the night before. The long and short of it is, they were telling him to get in the car and he repeatedly refused. According to him they said they were going to take him to see "The Judge". He asked them which judge was working at 3 am, and was adamant that they just give him a ticket, arguing with them that he was in the middle of a "Putaria" or some such with drug dealers all over the place and he couldn't believe they were giving him shit for walking a beer. They asked him if he walks around with open containers where he is from and he told them "as a matter of fact, yes. I'm from Las Vegas, look it up". According to my boy they were having none of it. One of the two shoved his rifle in my boy's face and ordered him to put his hand on the car while the other searched him and stole 4 bills from the "secret" compartment in his wallet. I just shook my head. "My man" I said as gently as I could "I told you to leave your money in the room, what were you doing walking around with four hundred down here?" I told him how sorry I was, tried to explain that it could have been much worse. I told him that I had his back and would keep him afloat with his food and drinks, and was good if he needed to borrow puta funds. Within reason. I let him know that we could just sort it out when we get home, and pointed out that he would do the same for me. I reminded him of the exorbent ATM fees down in La Zona and continued "Don't even trip, I'm fine; I've got us". I finished with "what's done is done, we're not going to let it spoil the trip or your birthday, let's go get something to eat. But first, let me show you your way around this gods-forsaken maze. ".
After I showed him all 3 elevators and described their corresponding locations downstairs, we took one of the south elevators down and exited at the alley to head to Azul. We grabbed a good bit of coffee, then ordered two American breakfasts. He used that time to fill in the details of his encounter with the thieving Popo, and to vent. I just did my best to keep the spin on and to eventually try to change the subject. Naturally I felt bad; honestly, I would be beside myself if I lost 4 bills in TJ. I suggested we get the day started with a solid punt to soothe his wounds, and get back on track. The whole "when in Rome" thing I suppose, or near enough. Once we finished breakfast I asked him where he wanted to start, and he was ready for another go at Hong Kong. First things first, we needed to sort out the issue with his room. We headed back up to registration and my boy noticed that all three clerks behind the desk were faced away from the counter basically doing nothing. He broke out a gem of a quote from Casino "I mean, God forbid they should make a mistake and forget to steal. " I was dead on the spot. Once the birthday boy got their attention he asked for assistance and we took the same guy that helped me with my toilet the day prior to my buddy's room to investigate. Unfortunately for my buddy, they were not willing to move him to a new room as they were for me. Dude's astute solution to the problem (after a detailed 1. 5 minute investigation) was to hand my boy a can of air freshener after spraying down his AC unit. Yes, I'm serious. The guy had the nerve to recommend my buddy not run the air if he notices that the air freshener isn't negating the odor. That's a true story. And why did we buy these VIP cards again? So yeah, I'm totally done with Cascadas at this point. I tell my buddy that if there's a next time we can stay at Rizo.
We head back down and the first thing we did was grab our free drink coupons then head to the bar. It was still early, I just wanted an agua. I've got to give it to them, even at this hour (it couldn't have been a minute after 10:30) Hong Kong was already hopping with a good selection of talent, and a minimal amount of punters. We had a look around and camped the front bar for a good bit. My boy's eyes lit up and he walked over to a pretty thick short chica over by the stairs. He was grinning ear to ear and looking back and forth from her to me. I sauntered over to the ramp that adjoined Las Chevelas and started chopping it up with a pair of punters in the adjacent booth in attempt to keep myself distracted. I had strong feeling that I knew what he was up to. About that time the short one called over a taller girl that was slightly less thick; her amiga I supposed. Well shit. Now for a little backstory. Upon returning from my weekend road trip earlier in October, I was recounting my adventures in the Zona with my boy the "Rockstar". I had casually mentioned to my room-mate that I had wanted to play the "you pick one for me and I pick one for you" game but the "Rockstar" had balked; citing time constraints. I suggested to my buddy that he and I pick one for the other this trip, and he was down. He's a champion like that. We had laughed and joked about it on several occasions while waiting for our trip to transpire. As recently as the day of our arrival when at the bagel shop in San Diego. Well, it appeared it was time for yours truly to pay the piper. Fucking fishnet. Fucking rainbow colored fishnet. That bastard. For a split second I was glad the crooked cops had fleeced him. In all seriousness, she wasn't half bad looking, and had massive naturals. They weren't her biggest asset though. That ass of hers was. Wow. And I wasn't even up on her. And all covered in rainbow fishnet. That ass of hers. Whatever, I've never been afraid to climb that mountain. If this was to be my "grenade" I was definitely getting off easy. I reminded myself that "there is no spoon" as I confidently walked over and joined the party. She was calling herself "Yorleny", and she had a beautiful smile. Ok, I've got this. My intuition proved correct. Much to the delight of the birthday boy, Yorleny would be accompanying me to my quarters for the first punt of the day, and my boy was taking her friend. My libido was actually picking up. God, I'm such a * Next thing I know we are walking out of Chavelas after tipping the robe guy and headed to our respective rooms. I told my new amiga that I needed a shower, and turned on the most aggressive playlist in my arsenal. A man needs motivation. Just another day at the gym folks, going to throw around a little iron for the win. Soft, warm, wet. Iron. But iron all the same. The iron never lies; two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds. Isn't that what Henry Rollins said? Henry would be proud of me right now, in my heart I knew it. I turn off the shower and towel myself down. Thankfully, the chica had removed her fishnet while I was soaping my ass. I asked my little grenade "Estas lista?" Off we go. I've got to give it to her, she was a doll. Skills for days. And those tits on my thighs while she blew me. Mmm. Hmmm. Boy could she take a pounding. Yes, I got off easy this time. She was solid. Would bang again. God. I. Love. *.
I handed her that well earned dinero and she pranced off towards my buddy's room before I finished dressing. I could hear an animated and rapid conversation in Espanol down the hall between her and her friend but it wasn't until later that I learned what was being said. I came out into the hallway and my buddy was coming out of his room with the girls walking off just as I was walking up. They waved goodbye and were headed to the south elevator. My buddy hadn't stopped laughing since I saw him. I asked him what was going on, and he said he'd tell me later. He was really feeling himself, and ready to get right back to in Hong Kong. Ahh, the initial infatuation with everything Hong Kong. I miss those days. On the way back down he tells me that he made another one tap out. I congratulated him on his conquest, and he asked me about my grenade. I gave her nothing but props, and thanked him for hooking me up. For some odd reason that produced another fit of riotous laughter from my amigo.
After passing security, we headed to the bar and turned in our drink coupons. Basking in the post coitus afterglow I was ready for a drink. After a stiff magnum sized shot of Don Julio, I was ready to continue the madness. I bought an agua chaser, and my boy grabbed a cerveza. Party on! We did the usual prowl and I saw some familiar faces. Girls must have come on shift while we were punting the heavies because there was much more talent on display, and they were Grade-A. We parked back at the front bar and just took it all in for close to 30 minutes. My boy had finally reached the acute moment of clarity that the Zona and Hong Kong in particular brings. His eyes were getting bigger and bigger as the dimes just kept coming. I had told him back home more than once that I was really looking forward to the assessment of the floor operations in the clubs from someone in the industry. I can pick up little things here and there and I like to think that I pay pretty close attention, but it is only a hobby for me in truth. At one point he enthusiastically exclaimed "I can't believe this floor guy, the rotation in here is INSANE!" with a sincere look of incredulous amazement on his face. BINGO. Finally. I looked at him with a smart-ass grin while nodding slowly and said "That's what I've been trying to tell you all this time. You have to see it in person to understand. There's levels to this shit son, and right now you are at the very top. This is the Mount Everest of strip clubs. " I picked up speed "It's fucking NOON on a fucking Monday, the fuck you think this place is like on a Friday or Saturday around 10 pm? What do you think is going on right now at the Hustler Club?" He looked back at me with a blank expression and said "Fuck all". I just nodded, satisfied. The day prior, while we were at Sushi One, my boy had told me "I'm not paying another fucking dime for pussy in Vegas. I've been doing it wrong this whole time. " I had replied "Hmmm, where have I heard that before?" while chuckling. I then told him "You ain't seen nothing yet son, it's the slowest day of the week in La Zona, we're just getting started. " Not even 24 hours later we had finally reached an understanding. I was feeling much joy inside my heart at that moment. Not just because I knew the best was yet to come, but because the birthday boy was coming around and was shaking off the bullshit from this morning. Maybe this trip wouldn't be sabotaged after all. I've got to give him credit, he's very resilient. He quickly recovered and insisted that we go back to Adelita Bar so that he could look for the bleach blonde MILF with the loose curls. I told him that sounded good to me.
We head straight away to Adelitas. Surprisingly the girl my roomie was looking for was already on shift and unencumbered. I can't remember if she was at the bar or at a table, but the three of us quickly found ourselves at a table all the same. He grabbed her a ficha and they started trying to work out the details. I was focused on keeping my bench unoccupied save myself. I don't remember all that many chicas approaching (there weren't that many on shift), but I think I thanked one or two before waiving them off. I asked my boy what was the plan. He said she didn't get off until after 2200, but he was going to try to get her to come to Cascadas after shift. I asked him how serious he was, how bad did he want her. He said straight away that she was the one. I told him "she's not going to come to Cascadas bro, she'll be seen and she knows it. If you want her, take her up here and now". My boy replied "yeah, I don't want her to get into any trouble". Still, he seemed hesitant. I recommended that he "trust me". I advised that he might not get another chance due to the nature of the game. "No regrets: arriba her now, while you've got her". He wisely took my advise, I told him I'd wait for him in the club while he was handling his business and fronted him the necessary dinero. While they were gone, I did have a few chicas approach me while I was practicing my Espanol on Duolingo. One in particular was hard to waive off. She was tall and slender with an amazing face wearing a silver snakeskin print short dress. A lovely specimen indeed, but I wasn't planning on any more short time fees after eating the room at Jalios for Captain America.
Some time later my boy came back down, and was all smiles. I asked him "Worth?" and he started chuckling. I asked him if she made it 3 for 3 on the tap-out roster. He shook his head no, then stated "but she said if we'd have had an hour I'd have killed her, she couldn't believe how big my dick is. " As I was nodding, I was already formulating my plan for tomorrow. More on that later. I asked the birthday boy if he was ready for lunch, and he was. I suggested the seafood place caddy-corner to where the taco stand used to be "Mariscos La Perla". I told my boy that I have had several good meals there, and that our mutual buddy and ex-landlord and I had eaten there back in February when I had brought him down. I told him our mutual friend had ordered the shrimp hamburger out of curiosity after me relaying a story to him regarding one of my prior trips. The birthday boy said that sounded pretty good in fact, and we headed over. We both started with coffee while he gave me the scoop on his cita and thanked me for pushing him to take her arriba. We both ordered the shrimp burger; his with fritas, mine with una ensalada. Regrettably, they had put queso on it, so I scraped that off. It was fantastic and exceeded my expectations. That buttered roll it came on had to have been fresh baked. Reminded me somewhat of the salmon patties that the mother used to make us kids on lenten Fridays growing up. Only better. I told my boy as much. My buddy was giving at least the 10th rendition of the policia incident, this time to our server. Oddly, no one that he had confided in had been the least bit surprised and described the local policia as "criminals" amongst many other colorful adjectives. After wrapping up lunch, we agreed to continue with today's agenda and were headed to the cigar shop next. I for one was in my favorite state of being, and more than ready for a tasty cohiba cubano. We naturally checked out the paraditas along the way. Little Michele was out again today, and looked much better that she had the day prior. Those jean shorts really don't do her justice, and though I much prefer her in those white yoga pants I've seen her wearing, the plad skirt she had on today looked infinitely better. Today might be the day.
Once we got to the cigar shop across the street from the Jai Alai building, my buddy passed on a stick and said he was just going to smoke the mexican Marlboros he had scored the day prior so I grabbed the smallest cuban I could find. I'm trying to remember where he picked them up as I type this, but I'm drawing a blank. Maybe it was that little hole in the wall next to OXXO across from Adelita's Bar. Yes, that sounds right. I think he grabbed them when we picked up the water. We walk back north and hit the little cafe / coffee place caddy-corner to the cigar shop. We both grabbed cappucino type hot cafes, and enjoyed the scenery and weather. It was the type of day that you imagine when thinking of Socal. Sunny with a few clouds, perfect humidity, and warm but not hot. "Fuck this cuban is tasting good" I'm thinking to myself as my buddy continues to recount the events of earlier this morning in a continued attempt to vent and process. I'm glad I can be here for him, and sincerely hoping he can shake it off. Right about that time he bursts into laughter. Ok, now I'm confused, but I'll wait for it. "What's up bromigo?" I can't help but start to chuckle, his laughter is infectious. "My man" he starts. "That grenade. Your grenade. That fucking * Hahaahahhaaa". Oh shit, now I'm really laughing. This is going to be good. Once he pulls himself together he tries to finish, but is literally laughing in between each word, I'm not even going to try to type it verbatim. "She didn't know I had the door cracked, she. She. She told her friend. "That motherfucker. He was playing heavy metal. Roar roar roar (he imitates growling / cookie monster vocals). He fucked me so hard, I thought he was going to break my neck". Then he is dying laughing and speaking in Spanish, impersonating my grenade. I was laughing, but at my buddy as my Espanol is much too underdeveloped to follow the slang much less anything else through all the laughter. The transliteration must be better, because my boy was howling with laughter so hard that he was wheezing, and tears were jetting out of the corner of his eyes, he laughed himself into a fit of coughing. It was quite the little scene. I tried to tell him that these girls love drama, attention, and hyperbole. It wasn't like that. Was it? My buddy wasn't hearing me at all, he was still dying and mocking the grenade in Spanish. I chalked it up to him being slap-happy. He was up 24 hours straight and then some yesterday, and didn't sleep hardly at all through the night. It was good to see him laughing though, considering what he had just been through. Somehow I knew I wasn't going to hear the end of this though. Spoiler alert, I didn't. This was the running joke the remainder of the trip. And beyond. More on that later. We spent the rest of the time people watching; there were already several natives feeling festive in their Halloween attire (both adultos and ninos), and re-hashing the events of the prior night / morning.
After we finished up, we continued with the day's agenda and headed down to Farmacia for some Vitamins. On the way, the birthday boy informed me that he was going to have to get an afternoon siesta. I told him I'd most likely be on the prowl for a paradita, that night of restful sleep had done wonders for my libido. We stopped across from the wax museum and grabbed five 10 packs of 50's. On the way back to Cascadas I had my buddy ask Michele how much she wanted in pesos, and if she'd come to Cascadas. I had specifically changed out a little bit of my roll for pesos at the border. For a few paradita punts. At first, I was a little put off that she wouldn't take the 700 pesos on the table, so we walked when she quoted her ask which was nearly double. After rounding the corner though, I was doing the math and I realized she was asking what I would pay in Vegas at a La Casita / Lat House. I told my buddy I was going back for her and requested that he message me when he was up and around and we'd get back to business.
I headed back around the corner where Playboy Club used to be (I can never remember the new name of the bar) and waited for Michele to grab her I'd and whatever else she needed from her Hotel spot. Once in my room at Cascadas I told her I wanted a shower and I think I put on some Gojira. She set her phone timer to 30 minutes then quickly disrobed. I noticed she was seated and huddled up under the bedsheet with her knees drawn up under her chin while watching me get out of my clothes with her big eyes. I said "frio?" and she nodded and started giggling, so I raised the temperature on the thermostat. I'm a good sport like that. After I toweled myself off, we got down to business. Pretty mechanical with zero passion, but her head game is stellar, she almost brought me to a false start in fact. She's like five foot nothing, just an itty bitty little thing, but she layed there taking my best shot like I was nobody. We switched to doggy, and that's where I finished. Maybe I had the music up too loud, but I don't think she made a sound. She looked pretty bored actually. Oh well, I had just needed a place to bust in truth, and I had had my eye on her since my trip in July. So one and done here. After she said goodbye, I hung out in the room for a bit, budgeted my remaining finances and set some aside for my boy just in case it came down to that. I practiced some more Espanol on Duolingo and exchanged some texts with Los Padres. I reported on Michele; I had asked Los Padres to negotiate for me earlier in October, but that time she was quoting in American dollars. I figured she might come down a little for pesos, but she didn't really and I told him as much. He asked about Hong Kong and I told him that the talent was "Absurd" earlier in the day. I told him I was fixing to recon Tropical, and Chicago to "temp the Architect". More on that later; but in truth I wanted to follow up on the chica with the chi-chis, and there was a girl I was looking for at Chicago that I kicked it with earlier in October. I also reached out to "Zafiro" the girl that I had met Sunday night at Gold Palace. Not realizing that it was already after 1600, I asked her if she was working today and was going to request that she stop by OTC before her shift for a cita. She got back to me and said she was getting ready to start at 1700. So. I'd have to eat a short time if it was going to be today. Out of curiosity I asked her what she wanted for 30 minutes, but she didn't get right back to me. I was getting squirrely and was thinking of grabbing something else before the impending fade. I knew that one night of sleep wasn't going to fully resuscitate me from the end of the weeks' sleep deprivation. I grabbed some cash and another condom and broke out.
I went to Chicago first. It was completely dead. Entirely too early for a Monday night, I was in and out. I headed straightaway to Tropical. Did a quick recon lap and found the chica with the lovely flesh pillows already at a table with a punter and nursing her ficha. We made eye contact, so I figured I'd wait it out. In the meantime, not sure where I was when I received the texts, but the girl from Gold Palace got back to me and told me she wanted a bill. The asshole in me just wanted to ghost her, but I just replied back "Guau". At some point she text me to see if I would stop by and I told her that I wasn't a millionaire, and that was too expensive. She replied back something along the lines of "it might be expensive, but it's what I charge". You know, I have to stop right here to say my piece. When these girls from the second tier clubs quote me a bill (yes, it's happened before at La Carreta as well. Pablo if you are reading this you know of whom I speak) what I REALLY want to come back with is "How about you accompany me into Hong Kong so that I can show you what $100 USA Will buy me". I really, REALLY do. But whatever, the hustle is as the hustle does. Spoiler alert. I didn't bang the freakshow from Gold Palace. Right about that time, I see the girl with the rack leave the bar with her new best friend. Good on him. Not long after, I finish my agua and head back to the only place I know for sure will be poppin' at this hour, HK.
I pull up next to the front bar by the curtains and relax. The talent looks to have subsided some since earlier in the day oddly enough. Then again, as I mentioned before I don't pay much attention to the tables and booths. There was a decent crowd of sausage milling about though. Probably the most punters I had seen inside HK this trip, not crazy though like the weekends. After an indeterminate amount of time, I struck up a conversation with a middle aged punter next to me. He was in the Zona just for the evening as he was a trucker getting ready to take a load out in the morning. Coincidentally enough, I have a class-A and drove a rig briefly for a couple of national carriers in what now seems a past life. I told him about my buddy's birthday and why I was down here. We had the usual HK and Zona conversation. I was telling him that though I love the talent at HK and realize that it's incomparable, I rarely pull them out of the club anymore due to several past disappointments and incidents of acute buyer's remorse. I told him that all of my best Zona Norte priors had come from the other big 3 and asked him if he frequents those bars. I was surprised when he said he had never been to any of them. I suggested we make a round and check out the paraditas along the way. He thought about it for 10 or 15 minutes then all of the sudden was ready to go.
My new TJ amigo and I exited the front and crossed the street to Tropical. We did a quick lap and checked the second level which was empty. He seemed impressed by the overlook. The third level was once again closed off. We went back down to the first floor and briefly hung out by the bar. Of the large breasted chica I had my eye on there was no sign. There were a few stunners, but they were already occupied at the tables. He told me he was ready to do a street girl lap. We cruised the alley and walked up the hill on the west side Constitution and back down across the street on our way to Chicago. He mentioned that he saw a couple he liked in the Alley. I told him that Chicago was my favorite club in the Zona as I preferred the low key vibe and the layout. We went in and did a lazy lap around the club. There was some good talent on hand but not the best I've ever seen in the club by longshot, maybe 20 or 25 girls. Most everyone was in costume including mesera Alejandra who was now dressed as an Anti-nun complete with an upside down black crucifix face-painted on her forehead. My new amigo told me he was ready to make his move on a paradita and wasn't interested in checking out Adelita Bar. On our way out I ran into the girl I spent time with a few weeks prior, she was wheeling in a little carry-on suitcase behind her. I motioned to dude that I needed a second. I gave her a quick hug and said "Tengo algo para ti" and told her I'd be back in a bit. My new amigo and I said our goodbyes and I wished him luck and safe travels. I decided to head back to my room to grab one of the gifts I had brought down with me for the holiday.
Without putting her on blast, I have to say that the girl I met at Chicago earlier in October is without a shadow of a doubt into the occult. One look at her is all you need to recognize, which incidentally enough is right up my alley. I had decided to call out to the matrix prior to my trip and ordered 2 Aleister Crowley Thoth Tarot decks (Spanish versions) to take with me to Tijuana for the holiday. Tarot decks are intended to be received as gifts as far as I understand. Back in the day I used to have a live-in girlfriend that was really enthusiastic about that bullshit, and that's what she told me so I'm going with it. Let's just say I intended to tempt the Architect to see what would happen. Oddly enough, my acosadora "La Lunatica" from Tropical Bar is also very much into Astrology, the Occult, etc. She once tried to tell me she was a "witch" and "knew things about the moon". I swear I am not making that up. So I figured "let's roll the dice" - simply for amusement if nothing else, and best case scenario I could kill two birds with one stone. I am an agent of chaos after all. I returned to Chicago with a tarot deck entrenched deep in a cargo pocket to find my little "Satanista" seated at the bar near the back. I walked up, took her hand and walked her over to a table. Not only did I have "un regalo" for her, but I also had something important to talk with her about (a story for another time perhaps, or not). In any event I ordered her a ficha for her time, and I asked her to close her eyes and hold out her hands because I had a gift for her. When I put the deck into her hands she opened her eyes and once she realized what it was she jumped up and down like someone on a game show and gave me a huge kiss on the cheek smearing her lipstick all over my left cheek. Sigh. I thought she did a good job of wiping it all off, but unbeknownst to me she didn't, and I ended up walking around the rest of the night with a raspberry stained cheek. I didn't look at myself in the mirror again until I was getting ready for bed. We had a brief discussion, I thanked her again for showing me a good time when I was with her earlier in October, gave her a final abrazo then excused myself.
I decided to return to Tropical to look for the chica with the spectacular natural bombs. Being around my little satanist had put a bit of lead in my pencil, and I was feeling like I was still primed for one more this day. I was back at the bar hanging out wondering if the birthday boy was down for the count when I decided to text Los Padres. I let him know that I had met up with the girl from Chicago (he had asked me in an earlier text if I had run into her, I had divulged my intentions to him when we were out together Sunday). I also relayed the correspondence that I had had with "Zafira" from Gold Palace. I asked him if he thought guys were actually paying the girls there a bill for a 30 minute rendezvous. I can't speak for him, but I am confident he is as incredulous as I. So that was about the time that my buddy / roomie text me to let me know he was indeed still alive and ready to live the night. I told him where I was and he said he needed about 10 minutes then would be over. I figured he'd want to check for the girl from Sunday that was wearing the white dress. Of the chica with the rack, there still was no sign. Once my boy showed up he grabbed a cola, and I ordered yet another agua and we agreed to stay for just that round, then he was ready to get back to HK, big surprise. While we were working on our beverages, the girl who'd been wearing the white dress the day prior found him, but he wasn't feeling her this time. I couldn't help but wonder if that was due to the fact that he had met her before scoping the talent at HK. She didn't look as good to me either in truth this night. During the course of the round I filled him in on what had transpired while he was napping. We finished up and he pulled a wildcard mentioning that he wanted to bounce back to Chicago first. Maybe he wanted to see my little Satanist in person.
We made our way back to Chicago. We didn't get halfway down the bar before being accosted by Alejandra and her chubby little mesera friend. I was thinking as I was looking at the braided girl "now THAT is a grenade". We only got a little further before encountering Captain America who was now done up in some pink costume, maybe a fairy or a bird or something like that. I really wasn't sure, as I was having flashbacks of her pussy and was having difficulty concentrating. Next to her was a chica sporting a different Captain America costume. I swear to the gods that I am not making this up. I wasn't planning on stopping, but the today's Captain America caught my buddy's eye. He started negotiations and she quoted him two bills for 30 minutes. He started laughing and told her she was out of her mind in Spanish (he filled me in later, I was unable to follow as I was still distracted). Julia seized that opportunity to grab my little problems through my non-restrictive slackpants and started talking mad shit in an attempt to secure a repeat cita. God I love * I'll own it, I was tempted but I generally try not to repeat in the Zona if I can help it. We were in their company a few minutes then meandered around the club. The little Satanist was in the hot tub working on a punter living his best life and my buddy spotted her immediately. As he had seen a phone pic that I had brought back with me from our time together. He told me "wow, she looks WAY better in person, she doesn't look like she just got the eyelashes fucked off her!" Imagine that. "Yeah" I said "I told you, my phone is a potato". Nothing else really caught his eye which was fine as I was ready to camp HK for the remainder of the evening.
After we bounced, I convinced him to survey the paradita talent. It was totally amazing. There were hordes of parents walking their trick-or-treating costumed kids through the Red Light District. Viva la Mexico! You just can't make this shit up; it was beautiful. During the course of our jaunt we both decided it would be a good time for some fuel and agreed that Azul would hit the spot. We sat on the balcony again, and my boy was in the mood for Tacos. That sounded perfect to me as well. I'm not sure which ones he ordered, but I made a last minute audible from fish tacos and ordered shrimp instead. During the course of dinner we did see something of note. I did not witness what started it, but my boy later told me the guy had mishandled a paradita directly across the street from the Azul balcony. By the time my buddy brought it to my attention, I looked down just in time to see 3 chulos surround a guy wearing a mini-backpack as he was trying to make a hasty retreat. The lead guy fed him a left hook to the jaw as he was back-peddling northwest trying to get between the two in the rear. Sadly, he back-peddled right into the curb that tripped him onto the sidewalk. My view was mostly obstructed but I could hear the commotion as the three pounced on him. It happened fast and it sounded like he took a pretty good beating at their collective hands and feet. He did manage to get back into the street and made his getaway heading east in the middle of the alley. I briefly saw his face and didn't notice any blood, but he didn't look like he knew where he was, and didn't look very happy. I bet he doesn't go disrespecting like that again. After it was over, the lead chulo that had scored the left hook was alternating between sprinting and pacing back and forth on the south sidewalk shouting mad shit in Spanish, probably about his supreme dominance. So that happened. I had taken it for granted that the dudes in the alley were just slinging dope, I didn't realize they were multi-tasking. The meal was great and like the punk with the backpack, didn't put up much of a fight. Regrettably, it gave me a bit of the itis, and despite yet another coffee I never really shook it off that night.
Not long after I settled the check we found ourselves back in Hong Kong. With a few exceptions, it was business as usual (uneventful) and standard fare for HK birdwatching. We spent most of our time camping the front bar, but did do some recon. All the upper levels were open as far as I remember, and I introduced my buddy to my favorite spot in the club between the second and third levels above the main stairs near what I imagine is the dressing room that the chicas descend from to head into the club. I told him this is a great spot to pick them off when they're coming on rotation. We saw several stunners making their way up and down and parked there for 20 minutes or so. The back wing was not open or lit, but the big black door / gate was ajar and the staff let my boy peak around the corner to get an idea of what HK is in it's full glory. Naturally, he was amazed at the additional square footage. I found myself sounding like a broken record when "I've been trying to tell you" left my lips. Once we were back to the bar admiring the talent we spotted 3 more girls with impossible faces that once again can only be described as "jaw-dropping". One in particular was dancing right in front of us on the front stage wearing a black tight outfit highlighted in orange with short cropped thick black hair. She had a very Mediterranean look and reminded me of a picturesque Italian beauty. Unfortunately I had long since started to fade, so I didn't make a move. I caught her staring at me quite a bit though, and couldn't help but smile back. The last highlight of our time at HK that night and probably the most memorable is regarding a very young Asian fellow that was sitting next to me. He appeared barely old enough to be in the club and had that look on his face. You know the one, the look most guys get the first time they are in Hong Kong when it is "Lit". I nudged my buddy and brought the kid to his attention. The poor fellow looked catatonic despite the fact that his eyes appeared to be coming out of his head and he seemed to be trying to look everywhere at once. His eyes were the only part of him moving, and I could see little beads of sweat popping out on his forehead. In truth he looked on the edge of a stroke. He was hunched over covering his lap with both forearms for reasons known only to him. I didn't know whether to feel sorry or thrilled for him. My buddy was dying and sent me a gif of a robot with it's head exploding. In any case, I bet it was a night that kid will never forget. The power of pussy.
I'd like to be able to report that the birthday boy and I both arriba'd multiple dimes from the club before we crashed, but that would be a fabrication. The truth of it is that we both were ready to call it early, and departed Hong Kong Club Halloween night without making a single pull. There's always tomorrow.
Day 2 was in the books.
TJ Trip report October 22 Day 3
Tempting the Architect.
I'm switching it up today and am going to listen to Cannibal Corpse while I hammer out this last report. The day 2 report was pretty painful and I had to reference text chains multiple times to sort the events and chronology. I don't know if I spent more time writing or editing. It took the better part of Monday to finish; "Los Padres" I hope you recognize the love. I promise this one will not be as bloated and verbose as my last two and most everything else I write. I'm excited to wrap this up.
I wasn't lucky enough to get two good nights of sleep in a row at Cascadas. Despite remembering the earplugs, I was up and down all night pissing and drinking water. My throat was dry all night and I could not quench my thirst. In retrospect it is obvious to me now that I was getting sick; those are consistent tell-tale presentations for me. I mistakenly thought it was the air from the AC unit drying out my throat or perhaps allergies. I tossed and turned from 05:00 or so until I reached out to the birthday boy (whose birthday was actually to be the following day. Nov 2) around 08:00 and told him I was going to go get breakfast and to message me when he was ready to get started. He text me back immediately and we soon found ourselves overlooking the Alley at Azul. We repeated with the American steak and eggs (mine medium rare with eggs scrambled and corn tortillas on the side). We outlined our itinerary for our last day. We were to fly out of San Diego at a little after 22:00 and I suggested not for the first time that we get checked out no later than 18:00 because one can never know what to expect at the ped crossing or with the blue line trolley (ask me how I know). My buddy did have a few key things to say. The first was the phrase that he had been tossing around randomly since the day prior "pescando con dinamita" with which he had been peppering this morning's conversation liberally. So far he had been incredibly satisfied with his conquests. I found it impossible to argue, we covered this earlier. The second take away from that conversation for me was when he looked me in the eye and said something along the lines of "All the strip clubs in Vegas put together ain't got shit on Hong Kong. A motherfucker's got to see this place to believe it. " I resisted the impulse to be the "I told you so" guy once again, and just nodded instead.
We exited the Alley and turned left. I wasn't sure where my boy was headed as he had stated at breakfast that he wanted to go to HK to get his birthday puta. I suppose he still hadn't yet completely learned his way around the Zona. We didn't get too far down the street and he did an about-face and indicated that he remembered HK was the other way. "Not so fast playboy" I said. "I promised you a grenade and today's the day". He immediately started to whine and protest citing that it was his birthday (it wasn't), but yeah, no. I'd been suffering through him boasting about his size and bragging about making those "bitches" tap for over 48 hours and as I told you, I had started planning the day prior for this very moment. "Let's take a walk" I suggested. I quickly scanned the Alley. I didn't know who she'd be or where I'd find her, but I knew EXACTLY the type I was looking for. We were almost out of the alley and I spotted her standing on the southwest corner where the alley meets Constitution. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Thank you Architect. My buddy immediately started "No. No. NO. NO! NO! I shook my head and said "You don't get to pick, I PICK". Darkness! The tables have turned! Then followed with "Oh yeah big boy, let's see if you can make THIS one tap, Happy Birthday Motherfucker". "Vamos" was all I said as I crossed the alley in her direction. This paradita was actually not unattractive IMO. She did remind me of the type of middle aged woman that you'd find accompanying a group of bikers in the states. She had a tattoo on the front of her throat and across her generous belly. Her panties were exposed and hanging out of the bottom of her skirt which was right up my alley no pun intended. She was about 5'7" ish and I'm guessing a tad over 220 lbs. She had a generous set of natural twins, and a monster ass supported by two thighs that looked like they could squat a GMC Jimmy. She looked as hard as Chinese arithmetic and looked to have been turning tricks for a few decades. I wouldn't call her a grenade exactly, she was more like a depth charge. Yeah Buddy! Lightweight! Somewhere Ronnie Coleman was smiling. As a disclaimer: for anyone tempted to cry "foul", I'd jump this one without hesitation, she looked like the wildest ride in the Zona. I had my buddy explain that she was to be his birthday present from me, and ask the usual. She only wanted 600 pesos for the whole shebang! My luck was truly in, I offered her 1000 pesos if she would "break" my amigo. She smiled and nodded rapidly. It's ON! I had so much joy in my heart at that moment. I'm tearing up as I write this. I followed behind them as the birthday boy deliberately trudged back to the Cascadas entrance with his birthday grenade. I wished him luck and told him he could find me in Hong Kong. Paybacks!
There wasn't much happening when I walked in. I walked back to the front to get yet another free drink coupon then settled at the front bar in between the stages. I noticed a pretty savvy dude to my left, he was the only other punter near me in the club. There were only 2 girls dancing, so I was taking it in patiently. I text Los Padres and to inform him that my buddy had been served his birthday grenade. I text the same to our ex-landlord and mutual amigo. I leaned over to what seemed like the only other guy in the bar and asked "Hey, do you want to hear a great story?" He was receptive so I let him know what had just transpired. He either found it particularly hilarious, or was just humoring me and a terrific actor. I asked him what he had been up to, he advised he had arrived in the evening the day prior and had been busy slamming no less than six girls from the bar. "My MAN!" I exclaimed. Most impressive; to be young again. I spent the rest of the waiting time texting and bird watching. I had a few thirsty girls approach here and there, but I let them know I was just waiting on my amigo who was most likely upstairs fighting for his life. Not long after I text our mutual friend and ex-landlord advising that I was worried the paradita beastling had killed our amigo, my boy walks down the ramp by the stairs and heads my way. I raised my left eyebrow and said "So, did you make her tap?" "Man, that fucking * was playing on her phone, she just laid there!" I resisted the urge to howl and come back with "perhaps she was paralyzed with fear", but instead just replied with "Hmmm. I guess you aren't as big as you think. Consider yourself lucky, I figured you'd be coming back down here in a wheelchair. " One thousand pesos well spent. On with the day.
We did a round at the other big 3 but I don't remember anything of note and we quickly found ourselves back at the ole standby. We took our last shot of Don Julio (funny, I used to hate tequila) and my buddy wanted to take a look around Las Chavelas. There were a good number of chicas in the bullpen, but they were observing their normal posture of being integrated with their smartphones completely disinterested in the reality around them. With one notable exception. There was a tall chica that reminded me of a cross between a midwest farmgirl and Jane from the old black and white Tarzan movies. Her last name might have been Flintstone. She looked like she had just fallen out of a tree, her hair was a disheveled fucknest. She was too far away for me to make out what she was saying, but she was having an animated conversation with the chica seated in front of her. We dipped back into Hong Kong for the usual birdwatch. The depth charge must have failed to satiate my amigo, because he announced that he was back on the prowl. The talent was picking up and we were approached by several. Regrettably, as often happens when I'm at HK, all approaching members of my fan club were the last girls in the club I'd arriba. That included a tall chica calling herself "Fatima". Not sure if I've snubbed her in the past and / or refused a pity propina, but she made it a point to tell me how terrible my Spanish is before walking off. *I considered replying "at least I'm not sucking dicks for a living", instead I just nodded. The undesirable chica approaches continued for me. This time Wilma Flintstone herself came sauntering towards me with her fist in front of her mouth banging her head and singing "Roar, growl, roar" into her imaginary microphone in her best death metal vocalist impersonation. The look of confused horror on my face must have been priceless. My amigo was dead on the spot. Do you suppose these bar chicas gossip and talk? How scandalous! Color me shocked. I'm not sure what she said to me in her slurred drunken Spanish, but thankfully she wasn't in front of me long. How could she possibly be this drunk so early? Ahh, the life of a bar puta. She moved over to my buddy to growl for him as well, he couldn't understand her either. He later referred to her as a "drunken hillbilly" when I inquired as to the nature of the conversation. This continued for an indeterminate amount of time. Finally, my buddy spotted something that really resonated with him. She was a thick hardbody with a generous rack and ass wearing a blood red bikini top accented with gold and matching boy shorts if I remember correctly. In short, she was a brick house. Honestly, she was on my radar as well. When he brought his interest to my attention, I encouraged him to "go for it". He was hesitant, and expressed a desire to wait and see. He did me a solid the other night in Chicago with Captain America and endured the depth charge, not to mention serving me a delightful grenade the day prior. I owed him more than just one. I called her over to him and it wasn't long before her latina sorcery worked it's magic. In truth, she had me tingling from afar. He said he was taking her for his last arriba, his birthday punt. I told him I was going to scout for a paradita.
I went up to my room and grabbed some more pesos and a condom. I downed a good bit of agua, chewed a blue, and took a shower. This time I did a big lap. I walked everywhere that I could think of where I might find a standing street girl. Nothing really stood out and I was thinking about repeating with pixie Zoe and her killer smile at the top of the hill on the west side of Constitution, but I didn't wish to settle for a repeat. I was heading north on Constitution almost at Calle Coahuila across the street from Chicago Club and ready to give up when I walked by a doll of a spinner in a short blue dress that was hugging her modest flaca curves. I stopped at the corner to consider and turned back around to shoot my shot. *She wouldn't come to Cascadas, but her short time room was only $5, and I couldn't believe her modest ask at $25. Naturally, because of my big brain I had forgotten to include "sin ropa" or "oral" which ended up costing me another 200 pesos in the room. Still, I considered it more than a bargain, I was super thirsty after my usual morning ritual. She was calling herself "Betty". She took off her mask and I couldn't believe how pretty she was for a street girl, also it is worth mentioning that she had one of the most compact pussies I have ever seen. Trust me, I'm nobody and I looked like John Holmes in that shit. Bonus. The service was so good that I threw her another 200 pesos for a propina, gave her a hug and excused myself.
I hadn't been back on the street more than a minute or so and there was a text on my phone from the birthday boy. I called him to tell him where I was and he was actually walking right towards me as he was passing Adelita Bar. We started catching up on the most recent events when his keen eye spotted Chicago meseras Alejandra and Wednesday Adams out of uniform and sans makeup getting ready to cross the street on their way to Chicago Club. Now that I was getting a better look in the daylight the only thing I could think was, "Ouch". While my buddy was conversing with them I noticed Alejandra was rocking a substantial cold sore on her lower lip. *Yikes! "Glad I passed on that one" I thought to myself for the second time in less than 10 seconds. After wishing those two a nice evening, we decided on lunch. *.
We made our way back to our traditional spot on the balcony at Azul. I needed more coffee to be sure. My boy ordered the coconut shrimp upon my recommendation, I went with my old standby. The spinach salad with grilled chicken and all the fixins. He told me how wonderful his punt was, mentioning that she gave him true GFE including but not limited to a shower washdown and massage. He said she was easily the best of his 5, and thanked me for the wing. I let him know it was the least I could do, and recounted my brief time with "Betty". I looked at my phone and was astounded to discover how late it was getting already. The prior two days felt like being on the edge of an event horizon. Easily 48 hour days, time had stood still. Today felt like we had experienced a temporal slingshot, it was already coming up on 16:00. I divulged to him my plan for the final hour before our departure. He said he'd wait for me in Hong Kong while I was handling my business. I told him I'd need him with me at Tropical but that we could go back down to Hong Kong after we eat, as I wanted one more chica before we checked out. My amigo finished the conversation at dinner while we were waiting for the check by looking me in the eyes and saying "Thank you 'Problems', you changed my life. " And so another of our brothers had been brought into the light. Slow clap.
We found ourselves back on our favorite perches at the bar near the front entrance of HK. The talent was already on point and things were hopping, most of the girls were free range and there wasn't much sausage yet present. The architect was once again looking out for yours truly. I must have done something right in a previous lifetime. The short haired Italian looking chica with the impossible face was dancing on the leftmost pole on the front stage looking straight at me and smiling. How quickly I had forgotten the necessary urgency of the moment, I was still thinking that I wanted to wait and do more recon when she was getting down off the stage. She walked past my buddy to get some water from the jug on the side of the bar when my buddy asked me if I was going to make my move. In an ironic role reversal I expressed hesitation, and he grabbed her and threw her into my lap. He's a boss like that. Gracias amigo, I owe you yet another. She spoke good English and once she was up on me I melted like a tab of butter in early August. Fuck she smelled good, and had eyes I could get lost in forever. After quick and smooth negotiations I paused to tell my buddy where we were headed. He told me he'd wait in his room, he was already packed but wanted to give everything a once over.
On our way to my room she told me she was calling herself "Tamara" but that her family calls her "Irene". Perhaps jokingly she tried to tell me it was her first day. I told her it was my first day too then exclaimed "It can't be your first day, I saw you last night. You were wearing black and orange". Once we got into the room she wasn't down with devil music and wanted something "chill", so I put on "Apple" by Mother Love Bone. She wanted a shower and to my surprise wanted me to join her. While we were soaping each other up I told her I felt like I had una esposa at that moment, she just giggled. Once we got down to business she was an absolute dream. Her head game was otherworldly. There is just something about watching a woman with a really pretty face sucking your dick. I can't put my finger on it. I was pulling the bedsheets out of the crack of my ass while she was adeptly working my tool. I was so thankful I had broken one off in "Betty" right before lunch or we most likely would never have made it to the main event. My roomie was just laughing yesterday here in the casa back in Vegas recounting my description of her nibbling on my junk like an ear of corn on the cob. Just like our shower together, the sex was slow and intimate. A complete change of pace. Her besos were just perfect. If I live to be one hundred I'll never forget the image of her impossible face staring back at me from the mirror on the headboard as I was finishing in dog-style and gripping her thick ass. We even shared a little quiet time cuddling eye to eye on la cama before we got dressed. Before making this trip I had sworn off Hong Kong girls entirely, and didn't see myself ever making another arriba with one. After this cita with "Tamara", I was forced to reconsider my position. The gems are still there to be found amongst the hardened pros at Hong Kong Club. While we were getting dressed "Tamara" noticed the second Tarot deck on the table. I explained that it was "un regalo" and she replied with a smile "for me"? I told her "lo siento, no baby". She must have felt awkward or embarrassed because she became immediately apologetic and hastily repeated that she was only joking. I told her to "take it easy" with a smile, and told her I knew she was joking. Before she stepped out of my fever dream and back into the aether, I gave her a generous propina for her exceptional service and told her to be good to herself. She had truly been a gift from the god of fuck.
I text the birthday boy to let him know that I was finished and would get packed up. The time was approaching 17:00, so my plan was coming together perfectly. He came by my room with his backpack ready to go and wanting the skinny on the cita I just had with the newest love of my life. I thanked him once again for such an exemplary job as wingman. As I'm writing this I still can't get over how gorgeous her face was. Like I must have been dreaming. And at the risk of sounding immodest, fortunes are lost on the women I've seen. I quickly got things wrapped up and we headed back down to registration to check out and to check our backpacks with security for the last hour in the Zona. I looked to my buddy and asked "Are you ready? You have my back, right?" When he solemnly nodded we descended down the stairs and crossed the street to Tropical Bar.
We arrived a few minutes after 17:00. I knew that if La Lunatica was in La Zona, she'd be on shift (Tuesday had always been her Monday) already or soon after. We pulled up to the bar to order another cola for my boy and yet another agua for myself. I scanned the club and didn't see her anywhere yet. We did a quick recon, and she wasn't on the first or second level. As usual the third level was closed off. I told the birthday boy that I wanted to spend the remainder of the 30 minutes at the front bar. Now for a little backstory. Up until late August I still had my stalker on the payroll. I considered her the gift that keeps on giving due to the fact that her antics were a never ending source of amusement. I didn't mind her stalking me on whatsapp really, I'll own it: I'm an attention * Besides, I had another stalker from Hong Kong, but that chica is educated, speaks English, and has never taken it too far. She's also not a lunatic, so there's that. After a few disappointments and catching her lying during the summer, I had asked the lunatic if she could give me a good reason why I should keep her on the payroll. I guess she thought I was kidding. She started to come at me as though she had me under her thumb and even went so far as to talk shit about my stalker from HK then telling me that "You are Mine". That was the day that she ceased to amuse me. Prior to that day, I had already become tired of whatsapp as I'm not into social media whatsoever. I find it distracting and primarily a waste of time. So I deleted the lunatic's contact info and whatsapp both from my phone. Surprisingly she didn't call my private number or text me like she did when I blocked her on whatsapp in July. Now back to the present. When I had ordered the Tarot decks, my motivation was to taunt or temp the architect. I still desired closure with the lunatic, and thought a Thoth deck would be the perfect call to the void and goodbye present, and what better time to give it than Samhain / All Saints Day / Dia de los Muertos? I was anxious to see if the matrix would answer my call. Spoiler alert. She was a no show. She must have been back at home not far from Monterrey. Once 17:30 rolled around I told my boy it was a bust, and suggested we spend our last 30 minutes in the Zona at his favorite spot. He agreed and we headed back to Hong Kong.
We went through security and the guard wanted to know what I had in my left cargo pocket. I pulled out the Tarot deck and told him "they're just cards". He let me through without further incident. We quickly made it to the back bar and were taking in yet another soapy / dildo show. This time the birthday boy was going for broke and accepted the come hither finger gesture from the girl on her back wiggling a rubber dong with her other hand. I was so proud of him at that moment. His expression was so adorable as he gently penetrated her with that silicone love hog. Not long after he had satisfied his curiosity and tipped the girl we planted ourselves on barstools and continued to observe the show. Out of the corner of my eye I see a tall slender chica making a rapid approach. I look up just in time for her to wrap her arms around my neck and nuzzle her face directly in front of mine. "Are you a fighter?" she asks me. It still hadn't registered. "I used to be, when I was a young man. Was it the ears?" She brought her face even closer, we were nose to nose. Eyes that were as blue as mine filled my vision. "Don't you remember me?" she inquired. I thought for a split second and said "Yes, Christina. I met you in Adelita Bar in May". Standing before me was the Cameron Diaz hardbody look-alike I met the night my buddy the "Rockstar" me the love of his life "Megan" with her goth get up, side ponies, and crazy eye contacts. That was the night the Morman rode the Cuban Tsunami. "What are the chances?" I thought to myself. "What the fuck are you doing in Hong Kong?" I asked. "Why haven't you called me?" was her reply. "You told me you were going to Mexico City". "You still could have called me". I reminded her that she could have called me as well, and she said she didn't have my number. I looked at my call text history for her digits and she was right, she had only given me her number, I hadn't text or called so she could lock me in. I asked her how long she had been here, and she told me she arrived the week prior. Being the savvy businesswoman she is, the smart bet is that she had come for the Halloween Parties. I exclaimed how unfortunate our timing was because I was leaving in less than 30 minutes. She asked me for a ficha (see: savvy business woman) and I asked her if she still drinks Tequila. When she smiled I told her I'd get a shot and put it on the bar. I told her she could down it when no one was looking. We continued to chop it up and I asked her if she was still going by "Jessie". She said HK already had a Jessie along with all the other monikers she had thrown at them as well. She informed me that whomever calls those shots insisted she go by "Canela" because of her complexion. She asked me to buy her a beer so "she wouldn't get into trouble". I rolled my eyes and ordered her one, told her it was my Amigo's birthday and instructed her to make him as happy as she could in the club. I'm a team player like that. I nodded to my buddy, and "Canela" was doing one of the things she does best with my boy's hands exploring the entirety of her. I can't be positive, but I'm pretty sure he was chubbed. After she finished her ficha she was back on me wanting to kiss etc. Suddenly, and like a hammer, it struck me. I told her I had something for her as I reached into my pocket. "Here" I said as I put the deck into her hand. "Do you know what they are?" I asked. "I can read them for you if you want" was her reply. "I know you can, next time. " Of course she could, how could it be any other way? I'm looking at you Architect. I told her that we needed to go soon. "Canela is a stupid name for you" I told her. "Fuck them, tell them your name in the bar will be Sofia. " I said. I told her it was time and asked for "a photo before I go". One of the meseros was kind enough to get some potato photos of her and I and one with the three of us in front of the back bar. I guess I got my pics for that propina back in May after all. Sometimes life gives us these little gifts. I gave her a hug, thanked her for the photos and told her it was nice to see her again.
Soon enough we were at the ped crossing and there was no line. We grabbed a few slices of pizza at American plaza after getting off the Blue Line and I had a piece of cheesecake for good measure. I was no longer cutting weight after all. We boarded our plane later that night in San Diego and flew home to Vegas without incident.
And so my Amigo's Tijuana Birthday trip became destined for memory.
Special thanks to "Los Padres"/ the Wild Child for pushing me to do this one.
Worth.
