Trip Report May '22 Day 3
The Grand Slam.
I slept much better the second night, but I jumped out of bed bright eyed and bushy tailed much earlier than I had intended. It was only 9:30, but I know myself well enough to know that I'd not be able to return to sleep. I figured that was ok. The wait at the border is always painful in the mornings, and I've endured upwards of 3 hrs in that gods forsaken line on some of my past visits. No, I do not yet have a Sentri card. It's on the agenda. Anyway, I figured we would need to get up early Sunday to be on the safe side (remember, the star of this report had neither his passport nor his birth certificate), and getting started early today would make it that much easier to get to sleep early this night. I messaged the first timer that I was already up, would be showering, and heading down to Azul for coffee and breakfast. He messaged me back while I was washing my ass to advise that his shoulder had been bothering him and he had been tossing and turning most of the night. He was going to pass on breakfast in an attempt to sleep in. I messaged back that I'd be around and to just hit me up once he was ready to get started. I text the hermano with my plans as well. I finish my rounds of text by reaching out to my TJ amigo from S. D. I advised him that I'd been shocked by the small crowds, and the absence of the A-Team at HK. I told him that we had been having more fun at Adalita's and that I was pretty much done with Tropical. I asked him what time he was planning on coming down, assuming it will be in the evening. He tells me he's shooting for around 2100, and that he's been feeling Adalita's lately and further mentions that he rarely visits Tropical.
When in TJ I'm in the habit of reviewing the finances every morning when I get out of bed. I usually do a pretty good job of staying under my daily budget, but we all know how quickly the dineros can evaporate in the clubs and I had had the pedal to the floor since we arrived Thursday. I was shocked to find how little I had remaining. I was either going to have to slow my roll, or I was going to need to make another ATM pull. I still wanted 2 more bar girls on the trip, and my S. D. Brother was coming down. I did not want to have to be conservative when we would all most likely be buying rounds. I knew if I didn't pull more I'd have to settle for one girl, and that just wasn't going satiate my appetite. So before breakfast I got it over with and took it like a man.
I told the server at Azul that I just wanted to work on coffee for a bit before I ordered. While I was still on my first cup the Hermano text me back and asked me "how was Azul? I advised him I hadn't ordered yet and invited him to join me. He arrived a short time later and I asked him how things went with the Cuban Princess. He told me a disturbing story about the Mesero. According to the hermano the Mesero had been ripping him off with the drinks and then had the audacity to insist he pay a bar fine to arriba her. I didn't ask any questions, I just let him talk, but I'm still not sure I followed what happened. My TJ hermano formerly of S. D. Told me he did end up paying a bar fine and taking the girl to a short time room anyway. The only thing I can think of is that the Mesero saw the Rizo wrist band and thought the hermano intended to take her back to his room over there. I guess only they know what truly happened. In any event, my boy told me it was worth it and that he had a great time.
We agreed to hit farmacia after breakfast, before starting our crawl. I needed to return to my room to grab the mask that I had brought just in case. The hermano was running back to his room to do the same. While I was up there, I received a message from the star of the show, he was at Azul's. I grabbed my mask and headed back down. I told my boy that he must have just missed us as we had just finished. He was even seated at the same table. He looked like a train-wreck in truth, and was just starting on his coffee. I let him know what we were up to and told him I'd message him on the way back. Once we got to the farmacia the mask mandate sign was still on the door, but curiously all patrons inside were mask-less, so I took mine off and put it back in my pocket. I picked up some vitamins for myself and a couple of boxes for the first timer. I'm loyal like that.
I messaged my boy and told him we were headed down to HK. He replied that he'd join us once he was finished with breakfast. From coffee to beer; is this place a godsend or what? Have I mentioned that I prefer to punt in the mornings? It seems as though all of my best experiences coincidentally happen after I'm freshly showered, fed, and caffeinated. I privately lamented my decision yesterday to to to the cigar shop BEFORE looking for an afternoon delight in HK the day prior. While we were there smoking, my libido was pronounced. By the time we got back to the Zona it had waned considerably. Lesson learned. I know right away after we sit at our table that this is going to be a good one. My loins are humming as if I've been surfing porn for the past hour. The girls look better than the talent Friday night. Maybe it's just me. Did I mention the humming? I'm seeing potential candidates everywhere I look. I text my TJ Amigo from S. D. And mention that I wasn't sure if their flight was delayed, but that the HK A-Team seemed to have arrived. He quickly texts back to inform me: "they heard I was coming tonight". I obviously owe him a drink, gracias amigo. The star of the show soon arrives and we have another round. I chew half a blue like a baby aspirin, I know I'll be folding soon. I've got it narrowed down to two ridiculous near-spinners with next level asses. I tell my amigos that I need to make a move, or I'm going to get overcharged and make a bad pull. One of the two I've had my eye on walks by and squeezes my arm on the way to the casa de banos. That settles it, she's the one. I tell my boys after she comes out of the bathroom I'm smashing. I see her, and drag her to the table for a ficha. She is calling herself "Candy". Jesus, really? Cue the eye roll. I interview, and she's a tough sell, not wanting to offer much of what I ask for. No besos, no oral on her, no body pics, everything covered. She asks $100, and I straight out laugh. In the end though she's a businesswoman and took my offer. I excuse myself and the boys tell me they'll wait at the table.
We handled business, and business was good. Sterile service, but her face and body were so stupid it didn't matter. Then there was her head game. Where do these HK girls learn this shit, do they have a school at orientation? Oh, and the pelvic control, so there was that. She's been doing her kegels like the good little puta she is. I'm not even mad. She was singing along to Behemoth's "Ora Pro Nobis Lucifer" and giggling while she was in the shower after. Well, it was more like cookie monster growling, but it was charming as hell. No pun intended. I'm in the habit of requesting that the chicas topknot my hair for me after service, especially the aforementioned lunatic from Tropical. I usually offer that one a ficha in the bar to do it on the spot. I'm paying them after all. So I continued the tradition with this pretty young thing, she did a great job there as well. Because I am weak and had one of the best nuts in a long while, I threw her a $20 propina. For the first time this trip I'm finally in my favorite state of being; feeling like I've just been darted by a jungle level tranquilizer post climax. Before exiting the elevator at the 3rd floor (in order to return to the front of the minecraft hotel) I said my goodbyes. I quickly found myself back in Hong Kong with the amigos.
We have some drinks, do a few laps, the usual. The hermano asks me if I remember the girls he had his eyes on yesterday because he can't picture their faces. I told him I didn't get a good look at the second one, but remembered the first. I told him I have not seen her since he pointed her out yesterday. We end up making our way back to the front on the second level in front of the mini bar up there, and split our time between standing at the railing and sitting at a table nearby. I distinctly remember the star of the show heading down the stairs and disappearing into the crowd. I wonder if he is drunk already or if he has spotted his next victim. I wait for a good while and then take a stroll to see if I can find him. He has disappeared into the ether. I hoped and supposed it was the latter. Once I return the second level railing my TJ hermano and I have another round while scanning the bar. At one point "the one that got away" ascends the stairs in front of us but not without grabbing us both by the package wearing a smile that splits her face in two. She prances off away from us past the tables headed toward the rear of the club, and her mischievous laughter fills the second level like something out of a Rob Zombie movie. Somebody must have just fucked her proper. She can't be shit-faced this early in the day, can she? God, I love *.
The first timer finally returns. We share a round and he tells us that he arriba'd a hot stacked milfy type with glasses and huge cans. I asked him if it was "Robbie" and he said no. He told us he had reached the point where he had to pull the trigger or his balls were going to explode. I told him it was a beautiful day to be alive and we all shared a laugh. I asked the amigos if they were ready to try the Sushi place across the street. We leave the bar and walk over to Sushi One. The hermano ordered 2 california rolls which proved to be a larger serving than he had anticipated because he only managed to tackle one. The star of this report had a banana roll and another one, I'm not remembering what it was. I had a dragon roll with eel if I'm not mistaken, and a first for me. A sushi roll with sliced mango on top. Holy fuck was that one good despite the mango resembling melted american cheese slices. During the course of our meal a little girl perhaps 7 or 8, walks in with the box of chiclets that we often see kids hustling all over the Zonas. I make a few brutal jokes in very bad taste wondering how many of the club girls were toting identical boxes of chiclets just a few years ago, and how long it would be before the kid in the Sushi place would be getting her audition at Tropical. I stay classy like that.
Once we had full bellies we did more of the same and crawled the bars. Nothing really stood out as far as I recall, the day was still young in the second tier bars. While we were at Chicago in the presence of his most holy "Big Jib", the hermano informs us he is going back to his room for about an hour or so to "recharge". The first timer and I headed back to HK. I receive a message from My S. D. Amgigo asking me our whereabouts. I tell him we are at HK and that it's jumping. I ask my boy if he can believe this shit as stunner after stunner after stunner walks by. He quotes my theory about the dimes zoning in from another dimension, and I tell him - "yeah, that's Gandalf back there in the bathroom holding the portal open with his staff". We were still there drinking and ogling when the Hermano text to ask if we still wanted to hit up "the event" that's going on. Now while my OC amigo was texting me on his way back home Friday morning, he mentioned an event scheduled Saturday night at El Torito Pub on Ave Revolution. The MLB Escort Agency was having a meet and greet type gathering as far as I understood. I told him I was interested as it would give us something to due besides slum the bars and he text me the details. I had bounced the idea off the boys when the three of us first met up at HK later that day. The were receptive, and though I wasn't sure what I'd find on a Saturday night (when you'd think all the best girls would be out doing what they do best), but was interested in scouting the talent all the same. So I text back "yeah" and give him our 20. Once he found us, we dipped out Alley side; it's always a good time to scout the street girls.
The place was easy to find, and the gentleman that greeted us at the entrance knew what we were after. He was kind enough to lead us straight to the gathering. There was another nice gentleman inside that gave us the skinny on the raffle, food (I think they had food), and drinks. There were several tables with people chilling and talking quietly. I told him we were going to have a look around. I saw a few girls intermingled here and there, they seemed nice. It appeared to be a very relaxed and quiet gathering, very low key. We made our way back to the front. I thanked the gentleman that greeted us, and explained that we had just wanted to stop by and were headed back to the Zona to meet up with another amigo. S. D. Amigo, I'm looking at you. I text my OC amigo to give him the skinny, and he told me one of his buddies was looking for us back there. I let him know we had bounced to return to the bars.
As we are on our way back to Norte, the hermano says he wants to check Tropical for reasons known only to him. We're game, so we tag along. Once inside it was up to the 3rd level and found a table just west of the center stage. We grab a round of drinks while we appreciate the dancing chicas, 6's and 7's from what I can remember. There was one chica dancing that stands out in my mind. She had the big meaty roast beef labia that I love, but the entirety of her crotch looked like it had never see a razor, regrettably. The hermano spots a girl in a grey t-shirt tucked into what looked like bib-overalls. She of course had a stunning face as per his inclination. He soon after tells us that he asked a Mesero to bring her to the table, but she declined. He was most displeased. We then went back downstairs and grabbed a booth in my favorite spot along the north wall in front of the stage down there. Not long after we sit down, a Mesero drags the face in the overalls to our table and seats her next to the hermano. She flashes a gorgeous smile that is both timid and awkward. She looks like she'd rather be anyplace other than at our table. I felt sympathy for her for some odd reason. God I love * We order another round of cerveza and I notice the star of the show's first kill from Thursday night being hustled our way by a Mesero. The chica stops the mesero between the bar and us, and they are having what appears to be an exceptionally heated disagreement. I am mostly turned around watching with curious interest. I look at the hermano, he is watching whatever is going on as well. By the time I get the attention of my boy from Vegas and he turns to look, the disagreement comes to an end and the resting * face storms off in the other direction. More Tropical weirdness. This place is fucking odd. There, I said it. The hermano leans forward and tells me that his chica told him she is not comfortable because of the language barrier. I tell him "fuck her, she's a * I'm courteous like that. Now I'm unhappy. This club is really starting to wear me out. I take a better look at her and she looks fresh from the farm. That would explain the overalls. She is drop-dead gorgeous though, an order of magnitude more attractive than any of the other talent I've observed in Tropical this trip. For reasons only known to the hermano, he orders her a ficha. Once the mesero sets down the little mini cerveza bottle, the hermano pays, stands up and tells us we are leaving. I supposed negotiations weren't optimal. The look on her face was priceless. Style points my boy, you've come a long way from your Mormon upbringing.
We all decide to give Chicago another go. I think we had stopped in Adelita's at some point and it was nothing but gordas from what I remember. We get to Chicago, scout around and grab a table on the south wall mid bar. The talent is far and away the best I've seen in Chicago this visit. Before we order drinks I propose an over under contest regarding how many chicas will approach the table during our first round and I set 8 as the number. My two boys say under. I say over, and the hermano agrees to keep score. (spoiler alert. I lost the bet. There were 9 total on the night but not before we finished the first round). We had some interesting moments at the table. My favorite was when a mesero brought 3 girls over and the one in the middle startind speaking rapid Espanol in our general direction and we just sat there staring at them like the group of idiots that we are. I love all that is painfully awkward and chaotic. There were several nice chicas dancing, and during one of the songs they had a big group of hotties on the east stage in front of the hot tubs. I ask the boys if they see anything they like. The hermano of course sees nothing. My boy has his eyes on a couple and points to a MILF with cut off jean shorts and black fishnet underneath. Jesus, I really hate fishnet. A milfy type has my attention as well. A super dirty chica with Motley Crue hair and what looks to be a fake tan, and I point her out. The hermano gets up to explore the casa de banos and a thought strikes me. My boy from Vegas banged one from Tropical, 2 from Adelitas, and 2 from HK. Not only is he up 5 to 3 on me, he just needs to bang a chica from Chicago and he has done one from all the major clubs. I ask him if he's going to go for the T-Shirt and joke that if he completes the full circut he gets a prize. I text the same to My amigo from S. D. , and also tell the hermano when returns from the restroom. The hermano chuckles and says "The grand slam", and it stuck. I told my boy I'd get him a HK T-Shirt from the gift shop were he to complete the tour and get "The Grand Slam" on his first visit.
ElNique texts 30 minutes later to advise he's on his way. I reply that we'll camp Chicago while we wait, as it will be easier for him to find us there. I ask the star of the show if he is ready to make his move on the MILF in the cut-off shorts and black fishnet so that he can get his T-Shirt (she had just stepped off the stage), and he says he's not sure. So I came back with "I got this" as I heard a pitiful "no don't" behind me. I drug her to him for my 3rd assist in as many days. "You're welcome" I tell him. They soon disappear and now we are just waiting to get live with my boy from S. D. Speaking of, shortly after they departed to the realm of debauchery, I receive a text from the life of the party that he is almost at the border and has no roaming in Mexico. I tell him we are standing by at Chicago. The hermano and I share another few rounds and the star of the show comes back to the table looking like he just ran a marathon. You combine MILF Magic with Latina Sorcery, and this is what you end up with. As far as I see it, he's lucky to be alive. I asked him how it was and he said "best one, by FAR". I said "serious?" and he said "Yeah, she was a BEAST". I laugh and ask him his T-Shirt size. We celebrate with another round and in struts my S. D. Brother like a rubber band man made entirely of hinges.
I give him a big hug, and make introductions. I swear I am not making this up. Ss SOON as he sits down a cute little chica spinner saddles him up and it's ON. I get up to make room, and also because I am somewhat of a voyeur. Don't judge. I am dying laughing as I watch the show. Just what this party needed, a little FLAVAH!! I tell the boys I want to return to the room to grab a condom for the filthy ex-Motley Crue MILF groupie with big hair. I was back in the blink of an eye (I told you I've been training). I'm looking for the dirty girl, but one of my partners in crime told me she dipped out the side door while I was away. Oh well, her loss. I guess I just saved some dinero. My boy from S. D. 's chica is gone and I ask him what happened. He explained to me that he didn't want to get ficha-fucked, and told her he'd see her later. In all honesty, there are some holes in my memory from the Sushi place on, but I think this is when my S. D. Amigo was explaining that he doesn't buy tequila at the Chicago bar, he gets the bargain $1 shots at the door. I'm reasonably sure we had one before we took off. I ask him if he want's to go to Adelita's and see if the gem is working. He suggests we continue to take advantage of the bargain shots on our way out, and we did. We stopped for a group pick out front before heading to AB.
From this point on, I don't remember much except the karaoke and "the librarian", but I'll do the best I can to tape it together for you guys. I'm reasonably sure while the guys were grabbing us a spot I fetched the nubian princess for my boy that came down from S. D. The rest is his story I suppose. They sure looked like they were getting along. The hermano wanted to return to HK, and there was nothing for the all star and I at Adelita's so I told my brother from another mother to meet us over there. I do remember him starting to protest, and said he'd tell my little Cuban fox he'd be back so that he could join us. I looked him straight in the eye, nodded, and said "trust me" slowly in as solemn a tone as I could manage. And he did.
We found ourselves once again headed to the Tijuana Black Hole known as Hong Kong. You never really can get away from it when in the Zona. The guy at the door started to say something to me about a cover until he noticed the Cascadas wristband. Caught me off guard, I'm never in TJ on the weekends. Once in HK we scout around and for the second night in a row the majority of the tables are reserved for the baller bottle boys. That is, the ones that aren't already taken. The club is not nearly as crowded as I would have expected for a Saturday night, but there is no place to sit. We end up posted again by the railing at the top of the north stairs in front of the mini bar. I ended up wanting to take a look at the new "wing" for lack of a better term that is behind the old / new VIP section. The boys showed it to me earlier that day, but the big black painted door / gate was closed at that time. I took a stroll and Holy Jesus is that place big. I felt like I was walking into what I imagine a warehouse set up to host a rave would look like. I often find myself describing Hotel Cascadas as a "minecraft house" just because it feels like a building comprised entirely of additions made devoid of planning or forethought. This was more like a "massive hallway" out of a dream; spatially, it made Zero sense. The addition seemed like it was too deep and should have ended well past the alley and be adjoined to "Gold Palace". I don't know how else to describe it. In any event, it was impressive. Two levels complete with bars, tables, poles. And girls. Everything we've come to expect at HK. I suppose that is why the crowds had seemed so diminished. The Halloween party was ridiculous, and pretty much what I had expected if not more so for a Friday and Saturday.
As I was making my way back to the Amigos, I encountered a pair of milfs. An ebony and a latina, neither stood out, especially here inside HK. Nothing special really except that they were obviously working together. They grabbed me as I was trying to get by. I hugged them and I told them I'd be right back. I had an idea. I grabbed the remaining posse (my boy from S. D. Was apparently doing WORK) and suggested we see the addition. We headed that way and I snapped the pair up. One in each arm. We found a table, I bought them each a ficha and we started negotiations. The sister spoke English, so the entirety of the negotiations rested on her. I asked her if they were going to take good care of me, and of course she said they would take VERY good care of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I asked how much, I was quoted a bill. Each. I said "Sin condon?" I almost always play safe, but I've done a covered 3 ways before, never again. When she said no, I explained my position. She wouldn't budge, and I told her I understood and we'd just finish our drinks and they can get back to whatever it is they do. Now in retrospect, I probably dodged two bullets there. *Nods to the architect*.
Not long after they exused themselves, the star of the report, the hermano, and I went back to our go-to spot in front of the mini bar. We got a half a round in and El Nique came rolling up on us. We talked briefly about his time in the "Tsunami" but that is his story. I can't remember if the hermano left before or after El Nique's arrival, but I know he wasn't with us when we went to do the karaoke. ElNique you are welcome to clear that up. I remember "the one that got away" repeating the package grabbing stunt on the stairs (this time sans the laughter), and that was shortly before "librarian" showed up. I paid her a $1 propina again, this time to take off her glasses and show El Nique her pussy. He pulled a "Sanford and Sons" heart-attack pose and had us all dying, charming the pants right off her. She started hugging me and resting her head on my chest, suddenly I was in a weird space that I never saw coming. I made the mistake of reaching down and resting my hand on her ass like she was my novia. Just like that. The switch flipped. I asked "how much? When she told me, I said "no besos?" because she was non-receptive the first time. She said, "Si, Besos". Suddenly I was doing the unthinkable and telling the boys that I was going to repeat with her. I know none of you are proud of me right now, but I am just a man. No regrets though it was great.
I wanted a shower when I got to the room, felt grimy again like I had the night before with the chica from Adelita's. Fortunately my shower at Cascadas was not poverty stricken and featured an actual operative shower head. She wanted to shower with me which was a very pleasant surprise. This was turning into a GFE. Again, never saw it coming. She must have gotten run through Friday and before I got to her that night. She was acting like I was killing her in the bed. I must have asked 15 times if she was ok. Because it couldn't possibly be any other way, I was having difficulty finishing. I concentrated as hard as I could, I knew she was going to stop me soon. In what felt like the nick of time I made it to the finish line. While I was climbing off her she said "no mas sexo". I misunderstood her and I said "no, one more" as I held up my index finger. She repeated herself and I understood this time "no mas sexo para mi". Ouch. What's the title of that Cannibal Corpse song "She asked for it" We said our good byes as we exited Cascadas and she made a bee-line to Chevela's to find a place to hide her sore ass. I couldn't help but giggle.
I made my way back and my S. D. Amigo, and my boy from Vegas were where I had left them. Like the good wingmen they are. Either I have a total shit memory, or the hermano was definitely gone by the time I returned. I think we had another round and my boy from S. D. Proposed we go to a Karaoke place he knew. Now, understand my voice was completely hoarse from talking at the top of my lungs in the clubs for almost 3 days. I agree to go, but I'm not wanting to try to sing. Everything turned out ok. We all sang (who knew my brother could sing? - he killed it) and he helped the first timer and I, pulling us through with some duet support. He was wrong about one thing though, they didn't "have everything" when it came to the songs, but at least they got the bands right. We exchanged hugs and shared laughs, but my TJ amigo was 4 hours late, and had to bounce. My boy and I needed to get up early for the border, so that was when we said our goodbyes. Thanks again my brother from another mother, just as I said about the OC master, it had been entirely too long.
My boy and I made our way back in usual fashion, and his first visit to the TJ smile factory was destined for memory.
Epilogue:
We awoke earlier than expected, checked out, and went straightaway to the border without coffee or breakfast. I didn't want a full bladder or bowels while waiting in line, and my buddy agreed. I did reneg on my statement that I'd get the first timer a HK T-shirt. I did not remember until we were in Hollywood, I blame the Chicago Tequila. The architect did us another couple of solids, and as hard as it is to believe there was no line anywhere from drop-off to the customs building. I have only seen that in the evenings after 6 pm. We were in and through in less than 15 minutes. The agent let my buddy through no questions asked. We were already in L. A. Before I expected to have been stateside. That is a true story.
Lastly, a highlight of the trip (more like a blooper reel) that I did not remember until after I uploaded day 1 was when neither my boy nor I could get into our rooms at Cascadas. This would have been due to our big brains. He was trying to enter by scanning his VIP card, I was using the "free shuttle ride" card thinking it was a second room key. No, we had not yet been drinking. You're welcome for that.
Until next time.
