Saw this posted in Las Vegas Section
Decoded.
Originally Posted by StanleyStankas.
No doubt. Have to always decode provider language. So over 40 is 50 +. Intelligent, genuinely friendly is bat s**t cray cray and so on!
Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.
To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, the pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:
Build:
BBW = fat.
Voluptuous = fat.
Curvy = fat.
Curvaceous = fat.
Thick = fat.
Rubenesque = fat.
Womanly = fat.
Hourglass = fat.
Supersized = fat.
Pic of face only? = fat.
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.
Gives bra size only? = fat.
Busty = either saggy or fat.
Naturally busty = saggy and fat.
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.
Slim = no boobs.
Svelte = no boobs.
Slender = no boobs.
Dancer's body = no boobs.
Runner = no boobs.
Spinner = no boobs.
Yoga = no boobs.
Bombshell = fake boobs.
Baywatch = fake boobs.
Playboy = fake boobs.
Model = fake boobs.
ETHNICITY:
Brazilian = black.
Butterscotch = black.
Caramel = black.
Chocolate = black.
Creole = black.
Cuban = black.
Dominican = black.
Ebony = black.
Egyptian = black.
Eritrean = black.
Ethiopian = black.
Exotic = black.
Hawaiian = black.
Mahogany = black.
Mocha = black.
Mulatto = black.
Nubian = black.
Mixed = black.
AGE:
Mature = old.
Courtesan = old.
Gracious = old.
Refined = old.
Elegant = old.
Classic = old.
Conservative = old.
Original = old.
Regarding age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's.
Just turned 18 = mid 20's.
19 = possible jailbait.
21 = late 20's.
28 = late 30's.
Personal traits:
Intelligent = brunette.
Sorority Girl = blonde.
Selective = overpriced.
Exclusive = very overpriced.
Classy = can't afford lingerie.
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.
Nasty = doesn't shower at all.
Upscale = snooty personality.
All American = all trailer trash.
Princess = I have an attitude problem.
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.
On fire = active herpes outbreak.
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.
Coed = plain looking with acne problem.
Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.
Energetic = methamphetamine addict.
Down to earth = boring.
College graduate = sleeps with professors.
Other features:
Open minded = openly accepts tips.
Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.
New to business = changed name.
New to area = changed name and moved across the state.
Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.
Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your I'd.
Discrete = I can't spell.
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.
Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.
Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.
Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.
Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.
AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.
You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.
You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.
CMT = good massage, bad sex.
FBSM = bad massage, good sex.
UNWRITTEN clues:
What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:
Unless specified differently, you can assume:
Hair color = brown.
Hair length = to shoulder.
Eye color = brown.
Age = mature.
Height = short.
Weight = heavy.
Cup size = small.
Measurements = large.
JG.
Sarah (short, kinda wild and tonsss of fun)
We both were a little late so it worked out. Parked out front. Bit of a rough area but it was the middle of the day so I felt OK about it. Neighbor she warned me about was outside, I ignored the neighbor. She welcomed me in and had me grab a tit to make sure I wasn't police. Had just gotten out of the shower, no make-up, wet hair. She took a few more minutes to get ready. I set my gift out. She had just shaved and there were some razor cuts around there, which may have been stupid for me to proceed at that point, but I did. She wiped them off and I didn't see any more blood. Started with a CBJ, which because of the cover didn't do much for me, but she was great at sucking my balls while jacking me off. She asked if I DATY, but with the cuts I didn't want to do it without a barrier; she didn't seem to want it with a barrier, so I didn't do that. We switched to some different positions. She has a very sexy moan and great humping skills. Seemed to genuinely enjoy herself. I popped in the flat iron position. Very accommodating to whatever I wanted. Not rushed. I tipped in addition for the hour of time I donated for, but I didn't stay the whole hr. She gave me a couple hugs, asked to see me again. I could see it becoming a regular thing. Won't overpay as much next time though.
