Ashley this one is for you.
A man took his wife to the zoo. It was a late fall day in the northeast and a slight chill in the air so she wore a light top coat to protect herself. They approached the cage with the gorilla. The gorilla took one look at her and began to jump up and down and pound his chest. He was excited! The husband quickly noted and told his wife how excited the gorilla was to see her. He then suggested she open the coat flip up he top and flash her tits. She obliged. The gorilla went ballistic! Same routine jumping screaming and chest pounding. Of course next the husband wanted the gorilla to see the kitty. She slips out of everything except the coat flashed the gorilla and all hell broke loose. Sounded like the whole jungle erupted! Gorilla had totally lost it. Husband grabbed wife by arm, opened cage door threw her in and said "now. Tell him you have a headache"
Okay, Okay, Okay, I got one.
Three Mice.
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.
The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says,"When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams each glass into the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse.
The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two,"I don't have time for this bullshit. I got to go home and fuck the cat."
Austin
The truth is often Amusing
[QUOTE=Mystical0945; 1275927]A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!","I don't care, open it now!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples?","DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back."That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says,"See honey. Its not that hard."
LOL, LOL, LOL[/QUOTE]From a man's point of view: A woman that swallows is a keeper.
From a woman's point of view: A man with a lot of money is a keeper.
