Married & mongering

[QUOTE=HardRick;6509704]Been married 15+ years. Sex with SO has not happened for about 5 years due to health issues. I still love her to death, but I have needs my hand can't fulfill. Been Mongering regularly for about five years. I go in spurts of seeing girls. At least once a month, sometimes weekly, depending on my libido. I'm pretty much BBFS, so I have a few girls I see regularly for this. Otherwise, it's CFS for sport fucking the hot girls. Usually, pay for videos so I can relive these experiences. The BBFS is for my own pleasure.[/QUOTE]Thank you for sharing.

PayPalMakesMon, thank you for starting this thread. In my case, 25 years ago sex in marriage dropped down to not times per week, but years per time. Then 17 years ago it stopped completely. Two years later I started getting relief from the wonderful women who work in this profession.

Lift Her Up.

[QUOTE=LiftHerUp;6510424]PayPalMakesMon, thank you for starting this thread. In my case, 25 years ago sex in marriage dropped down to not times per week, but years per time. Then 17 years ago it stopped completely. Two years later I started getting relief from the wonderful women who work in this profession.

Lift Her Up.[/QUOTE]I guess mongering will never die. From what I've learned in this thread is that mongering keeps us men happier and if the wifey thinks we are happy then that's all that matters right?

What a fantastic thread PPMM! My compliments & gratitude to you & the rest of the gentlemen who have commented and make me finally come out of the closet on this Board. I've been a lurker of this site for a long time but I've never posted as this is my very first. I've been married and mongering for years; way too many to count. I started mongering back in the 80's before I got married. Then after I got married I completely stopped until we had our first & only child. After that everything changed. My wife's body never returned to the slim version that I liked & over the years I completely lost interest in having sex with her, which is now about 5 years.

Believe me, I feel horrible and sooo guilty about it. I know she's thinking that I can't get it up anymore but that's not it. I get it up quite often as a matter of fact so I either masturbate or see an escort or go the an MP.

I used to be a heavy hitter on HX. I got on that site before it was HX. I go back to its *********** days & before that on TER. I have pages & pages of reviews on TER & FWIW (and believe me I'm NOT proud of it) I'm still a high ranking member of HX. I used to monger a lot, again not proud of it. I used to monger easy 2-3 times a week if not more for a good period of 15-20 years. But since 2 years ago I've cut back drastically. I try not to monger more than once a month but going to an MP as y'all know is so easy. So in reality I'm probably mongering 2-3 times a month with combination of escorts (from HX & TEE) and MPs. I became a paid member of RM a year ago but as you know there are so many fake reviews on that site but I still find it a pretty good source, although I've never posted a review on that site.

I've tried to quit soooo many times that it's countless. The longest I was able to stay away was 6 months and that was 12 years ago when I was still having sex with my wife about once or twice a month. But the urge of mongering brought me back. I have to admit that after all these years I still get super excited when I make an appointment (incall or outcall) with an escort or when I'm walking into an MP. The "thrill" is definitely is there & maybe it's the thrill that feeds my addiction.

Again, Thank You PPMM for creating this thread & the rest of you gentlemen for sharing & reading about my story.

[QUOTE=LoveToCim;6513497]What a fantastic thread PPMM! My compliments & gratitude to you & the rest of the gentlemen who have commented and make me finally come out of the closet on this Board. I've been a lurker of this site for a long time but I've never posted as this is my very first. I've been married and mongering for years; way too many to count. I started mongering back in the 80's before I got married. Then after I got married I completely stopped until we had our first & only child. After that everything changed. My wife's body never returned to the slim version that I liked & over the years I completely lost interest in having sex with her, which is now about 5 years.

Believe me, I feel horrible and sooo guilty about it. I know she's thinking that I can't get it up anymore but that's not it. I get it up quite often as a matter of fact so I either masturbate or see an escort or go the an MP.

I used to be a heavy hitter on HX. I got on that site before it was HX. I go back to its *********** days & before that on TER. I have pages & pages of reviews on TER & FWIW (and believe me I'm NOT proud of it) I'm still a high ranking member of HX. I used to monger a lot, again not proud of it. I used to monger easy 2-3 times a week if not more for a good period of 15-20 years. But since 2 years ago I've cut back drastically. I try not to monger more than once a month but going to an MP as y'all know is so easy. So in reality I'm probably mongering 2-3 times a month with combination of escorts (from HX & TEE) and MPs. I became a paid member of RM a year ago but as you know there are so many fake reviews on that site but I still find it a pretty good source, although I've never posted a review on that site.

I've tried to quit soooo many times that it's countless. The longest I was able to stay away was 6 months and that was 12 years ago when I was still having sex with my wife about once or twice a month. But the urge of mongering brought me back. I have to admit that after all these years I still get super excited when I make an appointment (incall or outcall) with an escort or when I'm walking into an MP. The "thrill" is definitely is there & maybe it's the thrill that feeds my addiction.

Again, Thank You PPMM for creating this thread & the rest of you gentlemen for sharing & reading about my story.[/QUOTE]I'm so glad you were able to share this! I think your right. I lost interest after she had our kid (2 years ago) and her body never bounced back exactly but she's in really good shape. I think I'm just addicted to making a appt like you said. The thrill of getting access to providers like it's nothing makes it so hard not to check HX in the morning like it's the morning news 😂.

I was wondering since your a vet at mongering: do you think you will ever quit?

When I do have sex with the wife my mind is scrolling thru providers I've been with (like it's Netflix) and I'll pick a chick and imagine her. It's so bad I know.

At first I felt shameful about it but after everyone started sharing on this thread I just realized this is helping me from having an affair or stare at other women like a thirsty dog. I look at it as a way to satisfy my needs and in her eyes I am a good man that won't be hitting on her friends or other chicks. I guess it's just beneficial for both of us but only I know about it haha.

I'm divorced, so no longer married; but this is an interesting thread so I'd like to add my perspective. I was loyal for 18 years of marriage, only to learn my ex was basically the town ho while I was working 15 hours a day to build our future. The last 3-4 years she pretty much cut me off from sex, I thought for medical reasons but just her BS. I was going f'and nuts with no recourse but my hand. Then we separate, and I start dating & mongering (too busy to wait 3 dates LOL). A little mongering soon convinced me dating was not the best solution for satisfying sexual desires. Mongering is convenient, anonymous, no baggage, and "always a new toy to try" like OP says. I still date a little & also have FWBs (while they last), but I'll never stop mongering now, the last 20+ years have been great. Do I long for commitment & security? Sometimes. But I'd have to either have to lose my taste for "strange" or find a woman who doesn't care. Maybe that happens, who knows. If only I'd figured this out earlier in life. So I'm with all those who monger through a non sexual relationship, or with express or tacit consent. Lying effectively is a lot of work and hard to maintain; too much for me, but if you can handle it more power to you. Life's too short to pass up sexual joy when it's literally all around.

Thanks for the therapy session LOL.

"Love is the illusion that one woman is better than the next. " HL Menken.

Great discussion here and good perspectives. Got divorced a few years back and escorts world is a game changer vs the dating game IMO. Levels the playing field in our favor, and agree with that thrill of the chase theory. Only gripe is HX quality has gone down quite a bit overall, while prices gone up compared to several years back. Expecting that to change with next major recession, supply and demand turning back in our favor for the casual hobbyist. Cash is king is a recession.

Very interesting thread. I accidentally stumbled into happy endings I'd been in a dead bedroom for years, and I would get massages at places that I felt were probably legit (look up Google reviews and see if there are any women's names in the list). It was just to experience having someone touch me, but I purposely avoided places where I would be tempted to cross a line. That was until one day I was in a place with legit reviews and it escalated from a great massage to tickling to an HJ gesture and I gladly said "Yes!

I wondered that day how I would feel. What I realized was that the DB had left me feeling unwanted. I felt like no one would want to touch me sexually or make me feel good. I realized that night that I felt desirable again. I knew I paid for it, but still, a hot woman wanted to touch me and make me climax. The boost to my self worth was huge. I really think I became a different person after that first experience.

I'm not fooling myself I can't tell my wife nor can I leave her for reasons I won't go into here. I'm cheating. But our marriage is actually better now, and I feel like a desirable person for the first time in a long time.

The down side is that as a monger you occasionally have bad experiences. Girls that are not interested, clock watchers, etc. And for me that causes my self worth to take a hit. That's probably why I stick with a very small list of providers because I am comfortable with them, and they enjoy seeing me (or they play the part well, which I'm fine with).

[QUOTE=PitfallHarry13;6516000]…The down side is that as a monger you occasionally have bad experiences. Girls that are not interested, clock watchers, etc. And for me that causes my self worth to take a hit. That's probably why I stick with a very small list of providers because I am comfortable with them, and they enjoy seeing me (or they play the part well, which I'm fine with).[/QUOTE]Enough time with sex workers and you'll learn not to take their actions or words personally; it's not about you, it's about them. And don't confuse their interest in your money with interest in you. That's just you wanting to believe. Just take the good parts and ignore the bad, until they get too much to keep patronizing her, and then move on. Yes, some play the part convincingly, and that's great: enjoy it but don't take it (or her) to the bank based on her performance. Mongering is great but it's not a "relationship," and trying to substitute is unlikely to end well. It's more like a petting zoo with exotic animals: it's cool, but always be wary of their nature.

Seeing these threads is pretty depressing but word of advice, if you want to keep your marriage going and you want to bring back the sex, you got to take the comfort away from her.

Hit the gym, spend more time doing other things, ghosting her, keeping her guessing, etc. She'll accuse you of cheating, but it doesn't matter anyway because what's going to happen, you get a divorce? That's what's going to happen anyway if you keep going down the path you're on. At which point, if the sex does get better, if you're bold enough you can start pushing for other partners and get MFF threesomes going.

But all of this means nothing if you feel like you have zero leverage and don't want to risk losing her. The irony is that if you can detach that feeling, you will actually have MORE leverage to get the life you want and to be fulfilled.

[QUOTE=RCK9985;6514066]"Love is the illusion that one woman is better than the next. " HL Menken.

Great discussion here and good perspectives. Got divorced a few years back and escorts world is a game changer vs the dating game IMO. Levels the playing field in our favor, and agree with that thrill of the chase theory. Only gripe is HX quality has gone down quite a bit overall, while prices gone up compared to several years back. Expecting that to change with next major recession, supply and demand turning back in our favor for the casual hobbyist. Cash is king is a recession.[/QUOTE]Yah, I don't think I'll be taking any life advice from Mencken (SP, BTW), a widely known curmudgeon. I want my life to be happy. I can say that there are many many women who are better than other women, and it took me a long time to find someone whose company I can enjoy no matter what we're doing. I am happily married and aim to stay that way. That doesn't mean everything in the relationship is perfect, but we are together for mutual benefits.

[QUOTE=LoveToCim;6513497]What a fantastic thread PPMM! My compliments & gratitude to you & the rest of the gentlemen who have commented and make me finally come out of the closet on this Board. I've been a lurker of this site for a long time but I've never posted as this is my very first. I've been married and mongering for years; way too many to count. I started mongering back in the 80's before I got married. Then after I got married I completely stopped until we had our first & only child. After that everything changed. My wife's body never returned to the slim version that I liked & over the years I completely lost interest in having sex with her, which is now about 5 years.

Believe me, I feel horrible and sooo guilty about it. I know she's thinking that I can't get it up anymore but that's not it. I get it up quite often as a matter of fact so I either masturbate or see an escort or go the an MP.

I used to be a heavy hitter on HX.[/QUOTE]Agree with the appreciation of creating this thread.

Mongering for the past 10 years on and off.

Still can't get over the thrills of making appts to see a new provider.

Though many times also got disappointed with the looks and the services provided.

Used to feel lots of guilt but less nowadays.

Tried to quit but never fully worked.

Best to just enjoy it when you can.

Everyone has their own personal struggles and stories and reasons for mongering.

Why not just do what makes you happy while keeping the Mrs happy too.

Thanks for creating this.

I've been married for almost a year and had to go back to mongering. It went downhill after the engagement. She went from wild crazy PSE daily sex, to bland missionary only once a month sex. Always with excuses and also stopped trying to dress up, use makeup etc.

I went the route of making myself look better and doing activities without her. Will see how she responds over the next few months as I improve.

I did get a prenup before ever getting married and not afraid to divorce, but stay patient in the for better or worse part as I don't want to just give up or walk and leave her with nothing.

Since my offices in the PNW and Bay area are back to RTO mode, I travel a lot more and have conferences in midwest and east coasts.

I've hobbied a few times since with some desirables I never had a chance with as well as AMPs and K agencies.

I ended up creating a seperate bank account for hobby funds and will buy items as debit, with extra cash back to slowly build hobby cash when travelling.

Google Voice and Gmail has been an unreliable mess for my hobby line (cannot ever reccomend this anymore) so that's actually blocked me from contacting providers.

DO NOT USE GOOGLE.

It will want you to authenticate with the last burner device you had or block you if using WiFi from another IP outside your normal area you activated or got the phone from.

The bank I use for hobby funds only has branches in one state so I will cancel it sometime. I leave my card at the office but really want a bank I can walk in with just I'd and withdraw cash, so no need for a card.

I can't risk BBFS ever and even avoid BBBJ.

Any sign of disease even if treatable is too costly. If I avoid sex, she would get paranoid why.

This has been tough with providers who love BBBJ, DFK and SS.

One provider was upset as she straight up wanted to go PSE GFE like a crazy horny high school girl and I would only do CFS.

I don't regret marriage yet, but will say I probably did it way too soon.

All my married friends who mongered it never worked out!

Few of them The Wife would give them a free pass on the first one with yelling, sleeping by themselves for a few months, etc.

But, after there 2nd time getting caught straight to divorce and hit them financially Hard!

Several of then we're straight to Divorce!

Cheating "never" works out when your married!

[QUOTE=HapaBoy86;6609133]All my married friends who mongered it never worked out!

Few of them The Wife would give them a free pass on the first one with yelling, sleeping by themselves for a few months, etc.

But, after there 2nd time getting caught straight to divorce and hit them financially Hard!

Several of then we're straight to Divorce!

Cheating "never" works out when your married![/QUOTE]I bet they are much happier now right hapa!?