General Reports

Answer for 2 is a ring. Obvi you aren't married LOL.

[QUOTE=Austins66; 1262429]Okay if I omitted the answer to the question it is because I could not think of anything other than a dirty one. His is what I thought were the answers to the riddles.

1. Dentist.

2.

3. Peanut Butter.

4. Gum.

5.

6.

7. Paper Boy.

8. Glove.

9. Wrecking Ball.

10.

Even if I got the ones I answered correct I still would only have a 60, a failing grade. Sucks to be me!

Thank you Ashley.

I think I need some private tutoring. When should I cum to see you for my lessons?[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Vankleek;1262542]Answer for 2 is a ring. Obvi you aren't married LOL.[/QUOTE]Yes Van, I am obviously single.... ;-)

Be safe.

Austin

#6 is a nose

T.

[QUOTE=Austins66; 1262553]Yes Van, I am obviously single. .

Be safe.

Austin[/QUOTE]

Answers:

1. A dentist.

2. A wedding ring.

3. Peanut butter.

4. Chewing gum.

5. An elevator.

6. A nose.

7. A newspaper boy.

8. A glove.

9. A crane.

10. A toothbrush, of course!

Thanks guys for playing along. I just want to break the chain of bickering on the board. We are all GREAT people that is in a very small misunderstood community and it is nice to smile every once in a while and not to mention work together. I am very proud of the ones that participated. I have something very special for each one of you when I see you.

Xoxoxoxoxoox

One day about a month ago, Barack Obama was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge-a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said,"I am the President. How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?" The blonde replied,"Two hundred dollars." To the brunette he posed the same question, and she replied,"One hundred dollars."He then asked the redhead the same question. The redhead replied,"Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes. Get my panties as low as my wages. Get that thing of yours as hard as the times. Keep it high as the gas prices. Keep me warmer than my apartment. And. Screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me President, it ain't going to cost you a penny."

If you have no post, zero contribution to this forum do not PM asking for details about any of the ladies I have seen. You are wasting your time.

Thank You

This lady has a great sense of humor as well as a great attitude.

Great job Mystical you certainly made may day with this joke!

President.

One day about a month ago, Barack Obama was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge-a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said,"I am the President. How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?" The blonde replied,"Two hundred dollars." To the brunette he posed the same question, and she replied,"One hundred dollars."He then asked the redhead the same question. The redhead replied,"Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes. Get my panties as low as my wages. Get that thing of yours as hard as the times. Keep it high as the gas prices. Keep me warmer than my apartment. And. Screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me President, it ain't going to cost you a penny."

[QUOTE=Eelectri; 1264400]This lady has a great sense of humor as well as a great attitude.

Great job Mystical you certainly made may day with this joke!

President.

One day about a month ago, Barack Obama was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge-a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said,"I am the President. How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?" The blonde replied,"Two hundred dollars." To the brunette he posed the same question, and she replied,"One hundred dollars."He then asked the redhead the same question. The redhead replied,"Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes. Get my panties as low as my wages. Get that thing of yours as hard as the times. Keep it high as the gas prices. Keep me warmer than my apartment. And. Screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me President, it ain't going to cost you a penny."[/QUOTE]My pleasure honey. I like to see people smile it always brings out the best in them. I have more for everyone but I think I will stick to the dirty ones and not the political ones. A friend of mine suggested political jokes really have no place here. I tend to think that person is correct. Because in no way am I out to upset anyone, only bring a little humor.

XOXOXO

[QUOTE=Eelectri; 1264400]This lady has a great sense of humor as well as a great attitude.

Great job Mystical you certainly made may day with this joke!

President.

One day about a month ago, Barack Obama was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge-a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said,"I am the President. How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?" The blonde replied,"Two hundred dollars." To the brunette he posed the same question, and she replied,"One hundred dollars."He then asked the redhead the same question. The redhead replied,"Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes. Get my panties as low as my wages. Get that thing of yours as hard as the times. Keep it high as the gas prices. Keep me warmer than my apartment. And. Screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me President, it ain't going to cost you a penny."[/QUOTE]Yes she does and she is also as sharp as a razor blade, as are others on this board, which a very very few mongers on here don't understand. Good post Eelectri.

Marc

If sex with three people is called a Threesome, and sex between tow people is called a Twosome.

Then why in the hell is HANDsome still a compliment?

[QUOTE=Mystical0945; 1264689]If sex with three people is called a Threesome, and sex between tow people is called a Twosome.

Then why in the hell is HANDsome still a compliment?[/QUOTE]Wow I guess I should have rechecked my wording. LOL two people not TOW. Guess that kinda spoiled the moment.

A prosperous and somewhat amorous businessman propositioned a beautiful chorus girl of well-proportioned figure to spend the night with him for $500.

When he was ready to leave the next morning, certain things having transpired, he told her he didn't have that much money with him, but would have his secretary mail her a check for it, made out with a memo of RENT FOR APARTMENT, to avoid any embarrassment.

On the way to the office, however, after thinking the matter over carefully, he decided the night hadn't been worth what he'the agreed to pay. As a result, he had his secretary send a check for $250 instead, and enclosed the following explanatory note:

Dear Madam:

"Enclosed is a cheque for the amount of $250 for rent on your apartment. I am sending this amount instead of the amount originally agreed upon, because when I rented this apartment, I was under the impression that.

1. It had never been occupied.

2. There was plenty of heat.

3. It was small.

Last night, I found that it had been occupied many times, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large!"

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check, with this note:

"I am returning the check for $250. I cannot understand how you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As for the heat. There is plenty of it there if you know how to turn it on. As for the size, it's not my fault if you didn't have enough furniture to furnish it."

Someone asked about lips and I forgot I had these. A model and provider I took a couple of yrs ago, sadly I've lost touch with her.

It isn't how much furniture you have to furnish the apartment, it's how you move the arrangement around. Lmao.

[QUOTE=Mystical0945; 1264899]A prosperous and somewhat amorous businessman propositioned a beautiful chorus girl of well-proportioned figure to spend the night with him for $500.

When he was ready to leave the next morning, certain things having transpired, he told her he didn't have that much money with him, but would have his secretary mail her a check for it, made out with a memo of RENT FOR APARTMENT, to avoid any embarrassment.

On the way to the office, however, after thinking the matter over carefully, he decided the night hadn't been worth what he'the agreed to pay. As a result, he had his secretary send a check for $250 instead, and enclosed the following explanatory note:

Dear Madam:

"Enclosed is a cheque for the amount of $250 for rent on your apartment. I am sending this amount instead of the amount originally agreed upon, because when I rented this apartment, I was under the impression that.

1. It had never been occupied.

2. There was plenty of heat.

3. It was small.

Last night, I found that it had been occupied many times, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large!"

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check, with this note:

"I am returning the check for $250. I cannot understand how you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As for the heat. There is plenty of it there if you know how to turn it on. As for the size, it's not my fault if you didn't have enough furniture to furnish it."[/QUOTE]