This is a tough one for me Ella or Rachel
I'm a sucker for a PAWG and a holt MILF. I know these two work out of the same place and both have favorable reviews, but damn I can't decide who I would rather see. Anyone on here seen either one or both?
[URL]https://tryst.link/escort/ellaiivy[/URL]
[URL]https://tryst.link/escort/rachelsmith[/URL]
While I'm at it. Any info on this one too?
[URL]https://tryst.link/escort/jadebunnie[/URL]
Posting this because it's fucking hilarious. (Understanding escort ads)
The reading and understanding of Escort ads (especially those on Craigslist) has gotten more difficult. What do all these things mean. How can you know what the individual advertising is really like.
Recently someone else (wish I had thought of it) came up with the following compendium of translations from Escort Ads.
BBW = fat.
Voluptuous = fat.
Curvy = fat.
Curvaceous = fat.
Thick = fat.
Rubenesque = fat.
Womanly = fat.
Hourglass = fat.
Supersized = fat.
Pic of face only? = fat.
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.
Gives bra size only? = fat.
Busty = either saggy or fat.
Naturally busty = saggy and fat.
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.
Slim = no boobs.
Svelte = no boobs.
Slender = no boobs.
Dancer's body = no boobs.
Runner = no boobs.
Spinner = no boobs.
Yoga = no boobs.
Athletic = no boobs.
Bombshell = fake boobs.
Baywatch = fake boobs.
Playboy = fake boobs.
Model = fake boobs.
Brazilian = black.
Butterscotch = black.
Caramel = black.
Chocolate = black.
Creole = black.
Cuban = black.
Dominican = black.
Ebony = black.
Egyptian = black.
Eritrean = black.
Ethiopian = black.
Exotic = black.
Mahogany = black.
Mocha = black.
Mulatto = black.
Nubian = black.
Mixed = black.
Mature = old.
Courtesan = old.
Gracious = old.
Refined = old.
Elegant = old.
Classic = old.
Conservative = old.
Original = old.
Legendary = old.
Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's.
Just turned 18 = mid 20's.
19 = possible jailbait.
21 = late 20's.
28 = late 30's.
Intelligent = brunette.
Sorority Girl = blonde.
Selective = overpriced.
Exclusive = very overpriced.
Classy = can't afford lingerie.
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.
Nasty = doesn't shower at all.
Upscale = snooty personality.
All American = trailer trash.
Princess = I have an attitude problem.
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.
On fire = active herpes outbreak.
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.
Coed = plain looking with acne problem.
Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.
Energetic = methamphetamine addict.
Down to earth = boring.
College graduate = sleeps with professors.
Open minded = openly accepts tips.
Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.
Tight = Hot dog down a hallway.
New to business = changed name.
New to area = changed name and moved across town.
Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.
Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your I'd.
Discrete = I can't spell.
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.
Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.
Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.
Good Rate. Because I'm fat and ugly.
Good Rate = because I have no customers.
I'm available. Because I have no customers.
Special today. Because I have no customers.
Snowbunny = white girl with a pimp.
Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.
AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.
You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.
You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.
Real Pic = Pic of me 12 years and 40 lbs ago.
Actual photo = of someone else.
Recent photo = of someone else.
CMT = good massage, bad sex.
FBSM = bad massage, good sex.
Everything safe = no GFE no dfk no lfk no bbj.
Safe GFE = no GFE no dfk no lfk no bbj.
Ultimate safe GFE = no GFE no dfk no lfk no bbj.
Very safe = no GFE no dfk no lfk no bbj.
All safe play = no GFE no dfk no lfk no bbj.
YMMV = I don't do it with anyone but make you think it's just you that I won't do it with.
YMMV = I do it with everyone but want you to feel special so I can suck you in for a tip.
Upscale incall = motel 6.
What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:
Unless specified, you can assume:
Hair color _ = brown.
Hair length_ = to shoulder.
Eye color _ brown.
Age_ = mature.
Height_ = short.
Weight_ = heavy.
Cup size_ = small.
Measurements_ = large.
Credits: DrRogers (TERB).
Admin, please feel free to delete it if it doesn't belong here.