Streetwalker Reports

Perhaps some of the skepticism about this PayPal "donation" scheme stems from the remarkably vague and hazy nature of the whole matter. At the time of this message, there's been no clear and precise explanation of what's really happening in the provider's life. To merely claim that she's "attending to personal matters" or "is in transition" communicates nothing meaningful.

Likewise, so far there's been no specific explanation of why this provider needs more money for "food" beyond the $200 that she's already received for "food". If she's currently a guest of the government, the government is feeding her. If she's in a residential rehab program, presumably the program is feeding her. If she's not in the custody of either the government or a residential program, then why can't she continue to make money as a provider, which she's done for years?

Another problem is that there's no verifiable guarantee that any money sent via PayPal will actually be used for "food". One person says that he "cannot speak" with this provider, yet then claims that the money he sent "will be used for food". That seems to be an assumption that's not based on firsthand personal knowledge.

Something that I do know from decades of experience is that many downtown providers with a history of drug abuse will say almost anything to obtain money, especially to people whom they might consider inexperienced, naive and / or easily manipulated. Hopefully that's not what's occurring in this instance.

[QUOTE=Prjuan;2354873]I didn't say that Nikki is with her family; her family can reach her. Nikki's family never asked for handouts, but they are taking care of her son and helping her.

It's pretty simple, some people indicated that they would help Nikki, so I tried to offer a means of doing this. If you are not one of those people, then there is no reason you even need to think about it or comment.

It's not bullshit. I sent money for Nikki that will be used for food, and that's it. She appreciates the help, period.[/QUOTE]Hey what's up Prjuan, I know I've told you this before, now I'm asking you have the help that you've given her resulted in getting her back on her feet, honestly ask yourself this question. Or has it just enabled her to continue living in the manner she is? I kind of know the answer to that question, just by the things you are posting in her behalf (not saying she asked you to do this, I know it is only you doing this on your own), I could have pm'ed you privately but you're asking other mongers for support or giving other mongers a means to support her, I know you mean well, but do you really believe her problems stem from a lack of money? Have you ever entertained the fact that money any amount of it would only make things harder or at least complicate things? By giving her food, some may be able to justify this in their minds but that only means her money won't be needed for food, then can be used for whatever she wants, do you think paying rent or babysitter anywhere on her list, really? I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I am asking that you rethink your crusade, and would like to discourage others from joining this, I know your heart is in the right place and I see the place you are coming from, you're one of those who I'd want on my team, it's just the way you going about helping her may be only prolonging or enabling her to carry on the way she is, think and look, detach the heart, and look, really look, is she better off today than yesterday as a result of your help?

[QUOTE=Prjuan;2354867]Nikki hasn't asked for anything, and didn't even know about my or anyone else's donation until she received it.[/QUOTE]I know I wasn't going to post no more but since I still Go to the strip clubs every once in awhile that means I still monger, and that I never left.

So Mr. Prjuan I see what's the deal and I know your to kind, but don't let them take advantage of your good nature to get shit from you. The root of Nikki's problem isn't the lack of making money, it's what she does with the money she gets, so by giving her more how would you know for sure what its being used for? You got to start thinking how she got herself in the situation she's in now, I think that should be a good start if you really want to help her out.

At the end of the day you really should start looking out for your own damn self and think what the hell am I learning and getting out of this? And who's going to feel sorry for you at the end of all of this?

Hi,

I would like to clarify one thing. My posts did not ask anyone to give money to anyone. I said "some people have contacted me interested in trying to help out Nikki while she is in transition. If anybody would (like) to make a PayPal donation to help her, please PM me and I can provide the information needed to send money through her family. ".

I could have gone through my PMs and sent this message to those that have said they were willing to help Nikki, but I foolishly thought that it would be easier to post this statement only once, to the forum.

Below are various quotes that I will respond to all at once.

[I]"Why don't you introduce her to welfare, aid to dependent children, ObamaCare, and numerous other benefits our tax dollars pay for. Give a woman a fish and you feed her for a day. Teach her to grab all the government benefits out there and you feed her for a lifetime. ".
[/I]
Government benefits do not activate for a matter of weeks after application, and require identification, which I doubt Nikki has after being repeatedly mugged. There have been other reasons that this has not been an option for her.

[I]"Perhaps some of the skepticism about this PayPal "donation" scheme stems from the remarkably vague and hazy nature of the whole matter. At the time of this message, there's been no clear and precise explanation of what's really happening in the provider's life. To merely claim that she's "attending to personal matters" or "is in transition" communicates nothing meaningful.
[/I]
The vagueness is out of respect for her privacy, and the confidentiality under which her circumstances have been shared with me. It is not my place to repeat what was said to me.

[I]"Likewise, so far there's been no specific explanation of why this provider needs more money for "food" beyond the $200 that she's already received for "food". If she's currently a guest of the government, the government is feeding her. If she's in a residential rehab program, presumably the program is feeding her. If she's not in the custody of either the government or a residential program, then why can't she continue to make money as a provider, which she's done for years?
[/I]
All I can say is that she and her son need money for food, as she is not getting enough to eat in order to gain weight. She will also need to buy some clothes, since she has none. These are rather basic necessities. She is not able to work.

[I]"Another problem is that there's no verifiable guarantee that any money sent via PayPal will actually be used for "food". One person says that he "cannot speak" with this provider, yet then claims that the money he sent "will be used for food". That seems to be an assumption that's not based on firsthand personal knowledge. ".
[/I]
The funds would be handled by Nikki's family, not her, and therefore she cannot misuse it. This is based on first hand personal knowledge because I communicate with them on an almost daily basis. If someone wanted to donate, but is suspicious about Paypal or any other such method, you could probably arrange to meet her family in person, but that is not something I am able to arrange, and I thought that most people would be uncomfortable with this. All I can do is offer contact information if it is requested. Paypal was easiest for me since I didn't have to get out of my chair.

[I]"Something that I do know from decades of experience is that many downtown providers with a history of drug abuse will say almost anything to obtain money, especially to people whom they might consider inexperienced, naive and / or easily manipulated. Hopefully that's not what's occurring in this instance. ".
[/I]
I have not and would not give money to Nikki right now. I did however give some money to her family in order that they may be better able to help her and her son. This is to help Nikki recover.

[I]"Hey what's up Prjuan, I know I've told you this before, now I'm asking you have the help that you've given her resulted in getting her back on her feet, honestly ask yourself this question. Or has it just enabled her to continue living in the manner she is? I kind of know the answer to that question, just by the things you are posting in her behalf (not saying she asked you to do this, I know it is only you doing this on your own), I could have pm'ed you privately but you're asking other mongers for support or giving other mongers a means to support her, I know you mean well, but do you really believe her problems stem from a lack of money? Have you ever entertained the fact that money any amount of it would only make things harder or at last complicate things? By giving her food, some may be able to justify this in their minds but that only means her money won't be needed for food, then can be used for whatever she wants, do you think paying rent or babysitter anywhere on her list, really? I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I am asking that you rethink your crusade, and would like to discourage others from joining this, I know your heart is in the right place and I see the place you are coming from, you're one of those who I'd want on my team, it's just the way you going about helping her may be only prolonging or enabling her to carry on the way she is, think and look, detach the heart, and look, really look, is she better off today than yesterday as a result of your help?
[/I]
The current situation is drastically different from any in the past for a number of reasons, most importantly, that Nikki is very serious about getting help and getting her life back. If I found her on the street, I would not give her money, because I know it would be misused. Right now, the only thing I am enabling Nikki to do is gain weight.

On the street, giving her money, phones, or anything else, was in my opinion, a mistake. Before I knew what was really happening, I thought that she just needed money for a security deposit and apartment. It turned out that things were much worse than that, which I've made pretty clear in past reports.

Right now, she is better off than she was yesterday, if she can stay on the path to recovery.

[I]"So Mr. Prjuan I see what's the deal and I know your to kind, but don't let them take advantage of your good nature to get shit from you. The root of Nikki's problem isn't the lack of making money, it's what she does with the money she gets, so by giving her more how would you know for sure what its being used for? You got to start thinking how she got herself in the situation she's in now, I think that should be a good start if you really want to help her out. ".
[/I]
I don't think that I can be any more clear on the point that I am not, nor is her family, giving Nikki any money. We all know that this will only be detrimental to her. I know exactly how she got into the situation she is in, and lost control.

[I]"At the end of the day you really should start looking out for your own damn self and think what the hell am I learning and getting out of this? And who's going to feel sorry for you at the end of all of this?
[/I]
It is possible to take care of one's own self and also care for others. Nikki and her family are friends of mine, and I just want to see her happy and healthy again. If this means paying for a few sandwiches, that's something that I'm willing to do. At the end of all this, and at the end of life for that matter, I'll be happy to look back upon those who I have helped.

So please, if you are not one of the people that wanted to help Nikki when it might actually make a difference, or if you are too suspicious or skeptical, then please think nothing more of it. My message was only intended to put people in touch with Nikki's family if they wanted to do so.

Aloha.

FYI,

I've gotten PMs from about 8 people over the past few months, people concerned about Nikki, wanting to help, and offering her well wishes and prayers. I just want to say thank you on her behalf, and I will share your sentiments with her.

Aloha.

Prjuan, it's strange that you would go through all this trouble for simply a friend. Do you have feelings for Nikki? This has been going on for months now, and it just seems like maybe you love her or something. I'm not trying to diss you or anything, but is that the case? I fell for a working girl before and she was digging herself more and more holes so I had to just leave her alone eventually. She's married with a kid now so I'm happy she got her shit together, but I'm also glad I moved on as well.

[QUOTE=LarryHoover;2355280]Prjuan, it's strange that you would go through all this trouble for simply a friend. Do you have feelings for Nikki? This has been going on for months now, and it just seems like maybe you love her or something. I'm not trying to diss you or anything, but is that the case? I fell for a working girl before and she was digging herself more and more holes so I had to just leave her alone eventually. She's married with a kid now so I'm happy she got her shit together, but I'm also glad I moved on as well.[/QUOTE]

Nope. She has a fiancee, a son, and a profession such that I would have to share with others, and that isn't what I'm looking for in a partner. She's a friend and I care about her as such, that's all; I would do as much for any friend that got into such a bad situation. If I loved her or had a romantic relationship with her, I would have asked her to move in with me a long time ago. There is only one person that she wants to be with and it isn't me.

It's been going on for months since she has been on the street almost a year, and that's not an easy thing to watch happen to a friend or family member.

Aloha.

This is your quote " The current situation is drastically different from any in the past for a number of reasons, most importantly, that Nikki is very serious about getting help and getting her life back. If I found her on the street, I would not give her money, because I know it would be misused. Right now, the only thing I am enabling Nikki to do is gain weight.

On the street, giving her money, phones, or anything else, was in my opinion, a mistake. Before I knew what was really happening, I thought that she just needed money for a security deposit and apartment. It turned out that things were much worse than that, which I've made pretty clear in past reports.

Right now, she is better off than she was yesterday, if she can stay on the path to recovery. ".

I'm glad you've come to realize that she hasn't been exactly honest with you on many fronts, we won't get into it, you already know the scale and depths you went through. Yet I still hear things like "if she stays on the path to recovery" and "the current situation is drastically different for a number of reasons" and this "most importantly, that Nikki is very serious about getting help and getting her life back ".

If she stays on the path to recovery as you said, that won't be answered anytime soon and if you expect her to stay on the path to recovery you're would be installed as an underdog because most don't, so any if's you can't even consider that as progress. You tell me her current situation is different for any number of reasons, but you state none! Then you say she is serious about getting help and getting her life back, but yet if you look where is she serious? She has no I'd, nor do you state that she is in the process of obtaining one, the reason this is important is because in order for her to obtain welfare she needs an I'd, then in order to check in to a rehabilitation center you are required to obtain welfare, this is how the rehab places can afford to feed and house addicts, unless she has acess to ten maybe twenty grand depending how long she is required to be an impatient, so I ask you has she done any of these things? Prolly not, you would have said something. I'm done trying to fix her, no one except her can do that, we on to you, because it seems like you doing all the blaming, minimizing and denying for her, man if it feels like you care and doing more for her the herself something is wrong, BTW, if she is serious about recovery she has everthing she needs to do it, mainly her will, not yours. This is the telltale signs of a cheif enabler, she'll say anything, you know it, yet it still happens, this isn't her problem it yours!

[QUOTE=LowlysOne;2355320]I'm glad you've come to realize that she hasn't been exactly honest with you on many fronts[/QUOTE]Yes.

[QUOTE=LowlysOne]You tell me her current situation is different for any number of reasons, but you state none![/QUOTE]Because that would betray a confidence, which is to share more detail of Nikki's personal life that I have permission to.

[QUOTE=LowlysOne]I ask you has she done any of these things? Prolly not, you would have said something.[/QUOTE]She is doing absolutely everything that she can to help herself, and is strongly committed to this. All I can say is as of the day I posted that message, none of the resources you mentioned were available, and only family or friends could help her to eat. She had lost more weight since I had seen her last, which I thought was dangerous.

[QUOTE=LowlysOne]I'm done trying to fix her, no one except her can do that[/QUOTE]Exactly.

[QUOTE=LowlysOne]This is the telltale signs of a cheif enabler, she'll say anything, you know it, yet it still happens, this isn't her problem it yours![/QUOTE]Seriously, why are so many people focused on me? I am irrelevant, my motivations are irrelevant, and my feelings are irrelevant. Someone asked me what they could do to help Nikki, so I found a way, and posted it in a message offering to provide contact information for Nikki's family if anyone wanted it. That's it.

About 8 or 10 people in the last few months expressed genuine concern for Nikki and the desire to help her in various ways, so I was speaking to them.

I can't fix Nikki and I'm not trying to. I know all too well about those with these problems, as I have faced it with my family and friends elsewhere in life. I tried to help her before I knew what was going on, and withdrew when I realized anything I could try other than words, would only make things worse.

I gave her some money for her family to get her food, when she is in a situation where she is doing all the right things. That was my choice and I haven't said that one single solitary person should make that same choice.

[QUOTE=LowlysOne]because it seems like you doing all the blaming, minimizing and denying for her[/QUOTE]I don't think I've blamed anyone for anything, with the exception of those that helped put her in this situation, and those that have physically harmed her. At the time I denied certain claims, it was because I was misinformed, and I trusted what she was saying to me. I genuinely did not know what was going on, and when I did, I posted accordingly.

[QUOTE=LowlysOne]man if it feels like you care and doing more for her the herself something is wrong[/QUOTE]Yes something is wrong, because she has not been in control. She could not do more.

[QUOTE=LowlysOne]she'll say anything[/QUOTE]I haven't spoken to Nikki for a long time because she doesn't have a phone. I speak with her family. Therefore, while she may say anything, I have no idea what that may be. I only hear how she is doing.

[QUOTE=Prjuan;2355334]Seriously, why are so many people focused on me?[/QUOTE]Because majority of your posts are in reference to Nikki Sweet.

I don't think I've blamed anyone for anything, with the exception of those that helped put her in this situation, and those that have physically harmed her. At the time I denied certain claims, it was because I was misinformed, and I trusted what she was saying to me. I genuinely did not know what was going on, and when I did, I posted accordingly.

I don't know what you are talking about but I prolly don't need to know either, put it this way, ask yourself this; if she wasn't living on the streets and doing what she is doing to make ends meet, would any of those things that you've mentioned have happened? If not, then she does have a part in those situations and she has herself to blame as well, that's the kind of things I mean when I say stop denying, blaming or minimizing for her it does her no good.

[QUOTE=LarryHoover;2355382]Because majority of your posts are in reference to Nikki Sweet.[/QUOTE]Who cares what I think? Sometimes the best way to deal with people you don't agree with is to just ignore them. I posted a single message that elicited all of this discussion, when it should have probably resulted one of the three reactions:

1) sure I'll send you a pm for more info.

2) I'm going to ignore this.

3) what's this about? Nevermind.

Frak.

[QUOTE=Prjuan;2355307]She has a fiancee[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Prjuan;2355307]There is only one person that she wants to be with and it isn't me.[/QUOTE]So why isn't the man who's her fiance buying her food?

[QUOTE=Redneck1;2355507]So why isn't the man who's her fiance buying her food?[/QUOTE]Because he is unable to do so; hence, she has been on the street for the last year.

[QUOTE=Prjuan;2355561]Because he is unable to do so; hence, she has been on the street for the last year.[/QUOTE]That doesn't sound like a man that is worth marrying.