Vietnamese Bars

[QUOTE=Jack Mehoff]I just don't want any drama,if her husband finds out about all that shit that goes on at Secret. Maybe he might come after me and try something stupid. I just don't like spending money on girls with husbands,it could lead to trouble.[/QUOTE]

I think that they all have either husbands or boyfriends, but so what? It's not like you're the only customer there. If you just keep it on a business level, no big deal, me thinks. If you go beyond that, then you have to play it by ear. But as far as I can tell, unless you really know a girl and spend choke time with her for maybe years, she is probably lying her ass off more than half the time anyway, so you'll never really know the true story. If you do know the real deal, then YOU might be the husband/boyfriend we have to watch out for! haha just have fun!

I dunno about this,I just feel wrong about sitting with and spending money on a girl with a husband. I know it sounds stupid,but I don't like the fact that she could be using the money that I spend on her to buy stuff for her husband or boyfriend.

[QUOTE=Jack Mehoff]I dunno about this,I just feel wrong about sitting with and spending money on a girl with a husband. I know it sounds stupid,but I don't like the fact that she could be using the money that I spend on her to buy stuff for her husband or boyfriend.[/QUOTE]JM,

I don't mean this to sound harsh in any way. I've been reading your posts for over a year now and I've come to respect you and value your contributions to the board. But I have to agree with our fellow mongers on this one. The vast majority of the bar girls have husbands/boyfriends. And most of those hubbies/bf's know their girls work in these bars, and they know exactly what they do there. If you're only seeing these girls in the bars and buying them drinks, then it's purely a business transaction no matter how good the girls are at playing "girlfriend" with you. Even if you're seeing a girl outside the bar, unless your "dates" consist of something other than $$ shopping sprees at Ala Moana, chances are it's still just business to them. There's little reason to be concerned about jealous husbands chasing you with shotguns here.

As for the girls spending your money on their husbands/boyfriends, that's often the case and there's nothing you can do about it. These girls provide you with temporary companionship and simulated intimacy in exchange for cash or gifts. That's just the nature of the business. If you don't want to subsidize husbands, boyfriends, pimps, overseas relatives or whatever, then you might as well give up on our hobby.

Now, on very rare occasions, a bar girl and a customer will become involved in a real relationship that doesn't involve money. But that's rare indeed, and a subject for an entirely different thread.

It really sounds to me like you might have some unrealistic attitudes or expectations here. If I'm misreading you, then I apologize. If not quite a friend, you are at least a kindred spirit here and I'd hate to see you disillusioned or hurt. Just enjoy the services these girls are selling and keep your emotions in storage for real relationships and you'll be fine.

Regards,

CA

[QUOTE=Candy Addict]JM,

I don't mean this to sound harsh in any way. I've been reading your posts for over a year now and I've come to respect you and value your contributions to the board. But I have to agree with our fellow mongers on this one. The vast majority of the bar girls have husbands/boyfriends. And most of those hubbies/bf's know their girls work in these bars, and they know exactly what they do there. If you're only seeing these girls in the bars and buying them drinks, then it's purely a business transaction no matter how good the girls are at playing "girlfriend" with you. Even if you're seeing a girl outside the bar, unless your "dates" consist of something other than $$ shopping sprees at Ala Moana, chances are it's still just business to them. There's little reason to be concerned about jealous husbands chasing you with shotguns here.

As for the girls spending your money on their husbands/boyfriends, that's often the case and there's nothing you can do about it. These girls provide you with temporary companionship and simulated intimacy in exchange for cash or gifts. That's just the nature of the business. If you don't want to subsidize husbands, boyfriends, pimps, overseas relatives or whatever, then you might as well give up on our hobby.

Now, on very rare occasions, a bar girl and a customer will become involved in a real relationship that doesn't involve money. But that's rare indeed, and a subject for an entirely different thread.

It really sounds to me like you might have some unrealistic attitudes or expectations here. If I'm misreading you, then I apologize. If not quite a friend, you are at least a kindred spirit here and I'd hate to see you disillusioned or hurt. Just enjoy the services these girls are selling and keep your emotions in storage for real relationships and you'll be fine.

Regards,

CA[/QUOTE]
Thanks for not flaming me, I'm not looking for a relationship with this girl. I understand that most if not all of the girls/ladies who work at bars have a husband or boyfriend. But I just feel that its wrong to spend money on them period. Thats the s.o. job, and whats worse is when they say that they wouldn't be working in a bar if they had a husband or boyfriend. I'm trying to explain why this feels wrong,but I'm really not good at really expressing myself. I apologize if you still don't understand where I'm coming from. Peace JM

[QUOTE=Jack Mehoff]Thanks for not flaming me, I'm not looking for a relationship with this girl. I understand that most if not all of the girls/ladies who work at bars have a husband or boyfriend. But I just feel that its wrong to spend money on them period. Thats the s.o. job, and whats worse is when they say that they wouldn't be working in a bar if they had a husband or boyfriend. I'm trying to explain why this feels wrong,but I'm really not good at really expressing myself. I apologize if you still don't understand where I'm coming from. Peace JM[/QUOTE]I think I get it. You don't want to be her Hubby or BF, and don't think it's right to give them money if they have one. Also you don't like it when tehy lie and tell you that they're single, yes?

[QUOTE=Jack Mehoff]Thanks for not flaming me, I'm not looking for a relationship with this girl. I understand that most if not all of the girls/ladies who work at bars have a husband or boyfriend. But I just feel that its wrong to spend money on them period. Thats the s.o. job, and whats worse is when they say that they wouldn't be working in a bar if they had a husband or boyfriend. I'm trying to explain why this feels wrong,but I'm really not good at really expressing myself. I apologize if you still don't understand where I'm coming from. Peace JM[/QUOTE]I wouldn't dream of flaming you. Not with today's fuel prices anyway! ;-)

I think I understand what you're saying. Given your feelings, perhaps the KB and VB scene just isn't for you. The chances of your finding a girl there who doesn't have a significant other are slim at best, and you have no way of finding out until you've spent tons of money on them. Unfortunately, nearly all of these girls are liars, though of varying skill levels. In your particular situation, you have no way of knowing whether it's Lily who's lying, or the girl from Asia, looking to divert your spending to her. In all likelihood, they're both liars. For you, it sounds like a no-win situation.

In my case, I approach the bar scene the same way I approach the AMPs or SW's. I consider the bars to be an alternative (albeit expensive!) to an AMP for those times when I want some variety or a change of pace. I only go to those bars known for P4P and look for those girls who are likely to play. I see the girls as providers selling a service that I'm willing to buy. To me, I see it not as spending money on them, I see it as paying for the services they're providing me in the booth or the champaign room. I just don't concern myself with what kinds of relationships they might be in, anymore than I would with an AMP girl or a SW. But hey, that's just me!

Whatever it is you're looking for, I sincerely hope you find it. Meanwhile, I'm off to see where I can scrape a few more dollars together. I've got a birthday coming up and I'm planning to treat myself to a little mongering binge!

Take care friend,

CA

JM - I know where you're coming from as you don't want your hard earned money going to support some other guy. I was on the other side of that coin as I had a live in gf for many years. I'd come home from the office and there would be bags from LV, Chanel, NM... Her customers would take her shopping and buy her all kinds of stuff. I could never understand why they would spend all that money on her when she never put out for them, but they did.

I have read JM and the posts after that. This whole bar scene is similar to a play or a live show where normal people can participate in the play. Think of you $20/drink as admission to see and act in this play. (Don't you guys pay alot of money to see the Phantom of the Opera? This is an adult version of that.) Think of those girls as amateur actoresses that are getting paid ridiculous sums of money to act and entertain you.

You would be foolish to think otherwise. You guys who feel bad because you finally realized that you've been conned all these year... But you have to understand that EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU CREATED THE PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE! By giving money and gifts so liberally to these girls basically spoiling them, they naturally would take advantage of the situation. By not using your bigger head, you've become victims of a game that you willingly participate (noone is forcing any of you to go there, man. Take responsibility for your actions). In that respect, I have no sympathy. Sorry, but that's how I honestly feel.

Noone has offered a solution is JM dilemna, so I guess I'll out one as a possibility. STOP GOING TO THOSE PLACES! IF we all stop frequenting those joints, the money will dry up. These girls will be forced to either offer better service or quit and become part of the single women pool we so desperately need here.

[QUOTE=Slypher]I think I get it. You don't want to be her Hubby or BF, and don't think it's right to give them money if they have one. Also you don't like it when tehy lie and tell you that they're single, yes?[/QUOTE]
Thanks man,you hit the nail right on the head. JM

[QUOTE=Candy Addict]I wouldn't dream of flaming you. Not with today's fuel prices anyway! ;-)

I think I understand what you're saying. Given your feelings, perhaps the KB and VB scene just isn't for you. The chances of your finding a girl there who doesn't have a significant other are slim at best, and you have no way of finding out until you've spent tons of money on them. Unfortunately, nearly all of these girls are liars, though of varying skill levels. In your particular situation, you have no way of knowing whether it's Lily who's lying, or the girl from Asia, looking to divert your spending to her. In all likelihood, they're both liars. For you, it sounds like a no-win situation.

In my case, I approach the bar scene the same way I approach the AMPs or SW's. I consider the bars to be an alternative (albeit expensive!) to an AMP for those times when I want some variety or a change of pace. I only go to those bars known for P4P and look for those girls who are likely to play. I see the girls as providers selling a service that I'm willing to buy. To me, I see it not as spending money on them, I see it as paying for the services they're providing me in the booth or the champaign room. I just don't concern myself with what kinds of relationships they might be in, anymore than I would with an AMP girl or a SW. But hey, that's just me!

Whatever it is you're looking for, I sincerely hope you find it. Meanwhile, I'm off to see where I can scrape a few more dollars together. I've got a birthday coming up and I'm planning to treat myself to a little mongering binge!

Take care friend,

CA[/QUOTE]
Thanks and Happy birthday. Hope you don't get ripped off or conned like I did. JM

[QUOTE=John Ross]JM - I know where you're coming from as you don't want your hard earned money going to support some other guy. I was on the other side of that coin as I had a live in gf for many years. I'd come home from the office and there would be bags from LV, Chanel, NM... Her customers would take her shopping and buy her all kinds of stuff. I could never understand why they would spend all that money on her when she never put out for them, but they did.[/QUOTE]
You lucky bastard! Was your ex a hot viet girl or was she korean? You must have had to put up with some dramatic shit! JM

[QUOTE=Jack Mehoff]You lucky bastard! Was your ex a hot viet girl or was she korean? You must have had to put up with some dramatic shit! JM[/QUOTE]
Actually, I had a Japanese one from Japan, Korean and a Vietnamese one.

[QUOTE=John Ross]Actually, I had a Japanese one from Japan, Korean and a Vietnamese one.[/QUOTE]
I'm impressed,how was the viet.one? Are viet.girls in your opinion as bad as everyone makes them out to be? All my friends tell me to avoid them at all costs.They say they're goldiggers and can't trust them. Maybe they're right,but I think viet.girls are the most beautiful girls in the world!Whats your take on them?

[QUOTE=Jack Mehoff]I'm impressed,how was the viet.one? Are viet.girls in your opinion as bad as everyone makes them out to be? All my friends tell me to avoid them at all costs.They say they're goldiggers and can't trust them. Maybe they're right,but I think viet.girls are the most beautiful girls in the world!Whats your take on them?[/QUOTE]
She was the most materialistic out of all of them, and the most nuts. Also Vietnamese girls love to gamble.

Stopped by early last night at 9. Place Was SLOW,there was a bunch of Koreans partying in the booths but that was it. Saw the regulars Tammy,Liz and Vicky.Was planning on sitting with Lisa,but didn't see her. Sat down in various booths and played video games and watched TV. The only one who approached me was Liz and I told her I didn't want any company. She looks like the years are catching up with her.Was planning on staying until 10, but nothing worth staying for so left at about 9:30.