BackPage Advertiser Reviews

[QUOTE=AlFishy33;2396903]After wotk I contacted her again and she gave me the location address. It was the nicest hotel in GR, which threw me off a bit but I thought maybe she was trying to keep it classy. Got to her room and she greeted me in a sexy outfit. As soon as I saw her face in person I knew something was up. Something was just off. I went in the room to take a closer inspection, the body was off the charts. Then I saw her feet, they were big. Too big in my opinion to be a lady's feet. Then it dawned on me that she was probably originllly a he, with lots of surgery to change many aspects. I didn't know what to do since I was kinda caught off guard. I didn't say anything to her except that "I couldn't do this", handed her 2 Barry's and turned around and walked back out. She didn't say a word. Now I didn't actually confirm my suspicions but I'm confident I made the right call. She didn't say a word as I left either. The whole way home I felt weird about what had just transpired. So there ya go, that's a true toftt if you ask me. Unless your into that kinda stuff (I'm certainly not), stay away.[/QUOTE]I just pissed myself laughing at this post. Thinking of a dude looking at a size 13 mens pair of feet. Lolololol. "I can't do this. " HAAAAA HAAAA! Funny ass shit.

[QUOTE=Akinbacon;2397471]I'm positive she has been reviewed. I don't have the post number, but I remember it was in the last 6 months. Dig and you'll find it.[/QUOTE]Nothing special from what I recall, older and pics much better than in person, but you need to search to verify.

[QUOTE=Naughty12;2397031]SO you did two barrys and no BJ or HJ? Just shut your eyes brother, you're already there!. Its all the same they can be whoever they want in your head as long as they know what they are doing!

Hell for that matter if you're eyes were closed, your mind loose, you wouldn't have known if it was him / her or Benz1 workin' your shifter.

Are you saying that you think she's a post op? Cause her pics are either a REALLY good photoshop or she's got the thing taped tighter than a Fedex package bound for an airdrop with no chute into the Ukraine.

Either way I may consider TOFTT to verify. You said she's smokin' right?

I met this girl a few years ago and let me tell you she would fucking blow the doors off ANYTHING here by a million miles. And then some!

[URL]http://www.erostranssexuals.com/texas/austin/files/5781.htm[/URL]

I know its not for everyone. But live a little before ya die will ya?[/QUOTE]I try to be helpful on this forum, but not that helpful. We will Leave the questionable ones for you Naughty 12.

I'll hang out with the girls on this side of the fence, I'm with NBB and AlFishy33.

[QUOTE=Benz1;2397924]I try to be helpful on this forum, but not that helpful. We will Leave the questionable ones for you Naughty 12.

I'll hang out with the girls on this side of the fence, I'm with NBB and AlFishy33.[/QUOTE]I don't know that I woluld've looked at her / his feet! You've given me something to check on similar to an L. E check. Before the money is placed on the counter you ask her / him Please take off your shoes!

[QUOTE=Moonglow913;2397162]Were the pictures her? Because no way is the woman in those pictures TS. (see his post #5941 for link).[/QUOTE]What modern gender reassignment surgery can accomplish!

[URL]http://www.oddee.com/item_98035.aspx[/URL]

Saw Holly at a nice hotel in grandville last night. She is the girl in the pics. Said she was just in town for a day or two. 1. 5 for hh, great body and nice personality. Seemed fairly new to this. Le check, CBJ, multiple positions, COT to finish. Nothing spectacular but would repeat if in a pinch. Try here while she's still in town tho if you like her pics. Looks exactly same in person.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/holly/18691895[/URL]

Dreamed with Raeann Wednesday called a few days ago easy enough to set up. Right off 131 got to house a little weary because outside of house was in mediocre state. She instructed me to front door. When she answered I was put off because she was dressed nicely in a red dress and pumps. She looked awesome definitely girl in pic. A little quiet for my taste but ok. She led me to a mid size bedroom. Candles lit they were very lousy with floral scent. Warm not that nice of furniture but clean. She greeted me with short hug then told me to put the money on dresser and strip. One hr $120. She told me there would be 30 min massage 30 min extras. Good massage smooth sailing. Flip over. She spends an while massaging my thighs. About 35 minutes in she asked was I interested in tipping. I abliged. For 80 tip 15 min of fame. She stripped down a little skinny but sexy she removed her bra about 34 see if I guess. Small for my taste but pretty. I asked if spanking was allowed she let me. Round rear I played her tulips a little. Then she went down best BBBJ this year. She was gentle but firm. I asked her to do an eagle spread she said no I was disappointed but got passed it as she showed her appreciation. She buffed it shiny and new. If I had to give a review three and a half stars. I would repeat if I return to GR for business.

[QUOTE=AlFishy33;2396903]After wotk I contacted her again and she gave me the location address. It was the nicest hotel in GR, which threw me off a bit but I thought maybe she was trying to keep it classy. Got to her room and she greeted me in a sexy outfit. As soon as I saw her face in person I knew something was up. Something was just off. I went in the room to take a closer inspection, the body was off the charts. Then I saw her feet, they were big. Too big in my opinion to be a lady's feet. Then it dawned on me that she was probably originllly a he, with lots of surgery to change many aspects. I didn't know what to do since I was kinda caught off guard. I didn't say anything to her except that "I couldn't do this", handed her 2 Barry's and turned around and walked back out. She didn't say a word. Now I didn't actually confirm my suspicions but I'm confident I made the right call. She didn't say a word as I left either. The whole way home I felt weird about what had just transpired. So there ya go, that's a true toftt if you ask me. Unless your into that kinda stuff (I'm certainly not), stay away.[/QUOTE]Damn! I'm shocked you didn't pull a "Crocodile Dundee" and grab her crotch! I'll have that image in my head for the rest of the day now. Thanks for the laugh, Fishy!

[blue][Deleted by Admin][/blue]

[b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]This report was redacted or deleted to remove sections of the report that were [u]largely argumentative[/u]. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. [i]Thank You![/i][/blue]

[QUOTE=Joshfrd;2398209]Dreamed with Raeann. Pleasant on phone. Location easy to find. Not a great location. When she answered the door She was dressed in dress and pumps. Invited me in went to a room with music and candles lousy with floral scent decent massage then flip over she works on my front I offer tip for extra she agrees. She allows spanking +++Best BBBJ this year. Body 4 stars personality 3 stars Skills off the charts 5 stars.[/QUOTE]No spelling by that name. What's the link?

[blue][Deleted by Admin][/blue]

[b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]This report was redacted or deleted to remove sections of the report that were [u]largely argumentative[/u]. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. [i]Thank You![/i][/blue]

I stopped in the other day without an appointment and got a girl named Coco. Funny I was expecting an ebony girl. Coco is a white girl with long black silky hair. She carries an extra couple pounds but not much. She has amazing tits which she enjoyed having them played with and squeezed. She is a real sweetheart and didn't mind stripping down to her panties which came down also. Nice light touch massage with lots a teasing and the H. E. Was excellent. All the roaming I wanted also. After we finished she said repeat costumers get more on the menu. I will be back to find out. Paid for half hour and tipped. 60. Was very worth it. I've read lots of reviews here about Anita but I can never catch her there. Does anybody know how to get a hold of her?? Pm Me if you like.

I'm curious if anyone has had experience with this one.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/playboy-bunny/18491689[/URL]

Pics seem legit, although she is well traveled if they are. She's just ridiculously hot and possibly TGTBT, so I figured I'd ask first.

Dreamt about Mercedes last week and it was probably the most GFE dream ever. She was quite thin and a spinner except for her height. Says she needs to gain 10 pounds and that seemed about right to me. She is saving for a boob job; too bad because I like soft Bs and no talking her out of it. Recent arrest was for driving while suspended, so moved close to kid's school to avoid future issues. Highly recommended professional dream.

[QUOTE=SexScandal;2400490]I'm curious if anyone has had experience with this one.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/playboy-bunny/18491689[/URL]

Pics seem legit, although she is well traveled if they are. She's just ridiculously hot and possibly TGTBT, so I figured I'd ask first.[/QUOTE]As you can see the same set of photos are used all over the USA with different phones numbers and names when used, looks like they were taken from here.

[URL]http://liveescortreviews.com/ad/tampa/832-770-0502/4/203009[/URL]

[QUOTE=SexScandal;2400490]I'm curious if anyone has had experience with this one.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/playboy-bunny/18491689[/URL]

Pics seem legit, although she is well traveled if they are. She's just ridiculously hot and possibly TGTBT, so I figured I'd ask first.[/QUOTE]TGTBT. No way she is that picture. TOFtT please. Becareful.

That does look way too good to be true. Let me know if you dive in!

[QUOTE=SexScandal;2400490]I'm curious if anyone has had experience with this one.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/playboy-bunny/18491689[/URL]

Pics seem legit, although she is well traveled if they are. She's just ridiculously hot and possibly TGTBT, so I figured I'd ask first.[/QUOTE]

Search her name, there are posts in this thread. Much higher than most mongers expected price range. She puts ads on Muskegon BP also.

[QUOTE=SexScandal;2400490]I'm curious if anyone has had experience with this one.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/playboy-bunny/18491689[/URL]

Pics seem legit, although she is well traveled if they are. She's just ridiculously hot and possibly TGTBT, so I figured I'd ask first.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=ChewDog57;2401014]Search her name, there are posts in this thread. Much higher than most mongers expected price range. She puts ads on Muskegon BP also.[/QUOTE]Ouch. Glad you posted. Once again. A great picture. But the fantasy goes away.

[QUOTE=ChewDog57;2401014]Search her name, there are posts in this thread. Much higher than most mongers expected price range. She puts ads on Muskegon BP also.[/QUOTE]Thanks. I did the search, but the posts were old with dead links, so I couldn't be sure if those were for the same girl or a different one using the same name. And I hadn't remembered seeing those pics before.

Looks like no one's gotten past the rate, which is understandable. Too bad.

[QUOTE=BadBoyFourU;2400841]As you can see the same set of photos are used all over the USA with different phones numbers and names when used, looks like they were taken from here.

[URL]http://liveescortreviews.com/ad/tampa/832-770-0502/4/203009[/URL][/QUOTE]Hmmm, that link did not pop up on my Google Images search. As for the numbers, I wasn't sure how much these ladies burn through phones. It seems possible that some of the smarter ones might want a number with a local area code for wherever they go, so it various numbers seemed somewhat feasible.

That link, though, convinces me and makes me sad.

Originally Posted in San Diego.

Quote Originally Posted by Bwetfan.

I'm starting to think that just about anybody that says "down to earth" is going to suck (in a bad sense, not a using their mouth sense).

On the same note, long ago when I started the hobby, I was doing a little research and had stumbled upon a write up somewhere and I had saved it. I still use it for reference. Helps me decode the ads better.

Apologies in advance for the long ass post.

Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.

To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, [URL]myredbook.com[/URL]'s pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:

BBW = fat.

Voluptuous = fat.

Curvy = fat.

Curvaceous = fat.

Thick = fat.

Rubenesque = fat.

Womanly = fat.

Hourglass = fat.

Supersized = fat.

Pic of face only? = fat.

Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.

Gives bra size only? = fat.

Busty = either saggy or fat.

Naturally busty = saggy and fat.

Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.

Slim = no boobs.

Svelte = no boobs.

Slender = no boobs.

Dancer's body = no boobs.

Runner = no boobs.

Spinner = no boobs.

Yoga = no boobs.

Bombshell = fake boobs.

Baywatch = fake boobs.

Playboy = fake boobs.

Model = fake boobs.

Brazilian = black.

Butterscotch = black.

Caramel = black.

Chocolate = black.

Creole = black.

Cuban = black.

Dominican = black.

Ebony = black.

Egyptian = black.

Eritrean = black.

Ethiopian = black.

Exotic = black.

Hawaiian = black.

Mahogany = black.

Mocha = black.

Mulatto = black.

Nubian = black.

Mixed = black.

Mature = old.

Courtesan = old.

Gracious = old.

Refined = old.

Elegant = old.

Classic = old.

Conservative = old.

Original = old.

Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:

College Student = late 20's.

Just turned 18 = mid 20's.

19 = possible jailbait.

21 = late 20's.

28 = late 30's.

Intelligent = brunette.

Sorority Girl = blonde.

Selective = overpriced.

Exclusive = very overpriced.

Classy = can't afford lingerie.

Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.

Nasty = doesn't shower at all.

Upscale = snooty personality.

All American = all trailer trash.

Princess = I have an attitude problem.

Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.

On fire = active herpes outbreak.

Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.

Coed = plain looking with acne problem.

Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.

Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.

Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.

Energetic = methamphetamine addict.

Down to earth = boring.

College graduate = sleeps with professors.

Open minded = openly accepts tips.

Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.

New to business = changed name.

New to area = changed name and moved across bay.

Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.

Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.

Discreet = I check your I'd.

Discrete = I can't spell.

Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.

Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.

Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.

Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.

I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.

Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.

Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.

Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.

AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.

AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.

You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.

You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.

CMT = good massage, bad sex.

FBSM = bad massage, good sex.

What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:

Unless specified, you can assume:

Hair color = brown.

Hair length = to shoulder.

Eye color = brown.

Age = mature.

Height = short.

Weight = heavy.

Cup size = small.

Measurements = large.

[QUOTE=Donntee;2401794]Originally Posted in San Diego.

Quote Originally Posted by Bwetfan.

I'm starting to think that just about anybody that says "down to earth" is going to suck (in a bad sense, not a using their mouth sense).

On the same note, long ago when I started the hobby, I was doing a little research and had stumbled upon a write up somewhere and I had saved it. I still use it for reference. Helps me decode the ads better.

Apologies in advance for the long ass post.

Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.

To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, [URL]myredbook.com[/URL]'s pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:

BBW = fat.

Voluptuous = fat.

Curvy = fat.

Curvaceous = fat.

Thick = fat.

Rubenesque = fat.

Womanly = fat.

Hourglass = fat.

Supersized = fat.

Pic of face only? = fat.

Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.

Gives bra size only? = fat.

Busty = either saggy or fat.

Naturally busty = saggy and fat.

Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.

Slim = no boobs.

Svelte = no boobs.

Slender = no boobs.

Dancer's body = no boobs.

Runner = no boobs.

Spinner = no boobs.

Yoga = no boobs.

Bombshell = fake boobs.

Baywatch = fake boobs.

Playboy = fake boobs.

Model = fake boobs.

Brazilian = black.

Butterscotch = black.

Caramel = black.

Chocolate = black.

Creole = black.

Cuban = black.

Dominican = black.

Ebony = black.

Egyptian = black.

Eritrean = black.

Ethiopian = black.

Exotic = black.

Hawaiian = black.

Mahogany = black.

Mocha = black.

Mulatto = black.

Nubian = black.

Mixed = black.

Mature = old.

Courtesan = old.

Gracious = old.

Refined = old.

Elegant = old.

Classic = old.

Conservative = old.

Original = old.

Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:

College Student = late 20's.

Just turned 18 = mid 20's.

19 = possible jailbait.

21 = late 20's.

28 = late 30's.

Intelligent = brunette.

Sorority Girl = blonde.

Selective = overpriced.

Exclusive = very overpriced.

Classy = can't afford lingerie.

Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.

Nasty = doesn't shower at all.

Upscale = snooty personality.

All American = all trailer trash.

Princess = I have an attitude problem.

Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.

On fire = active herpes outbreak.

Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.

Coed = plain looking with acne problem.

Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.

Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.

Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.

Energetic = methamphetamine addict.

Down to earth = boring.

College graduate = sleeps with professors.

Open minded = openly accepts tips.

Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.

New to business = changed name.

New to area = changed name and moved across bay.

Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.

Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.

Discreet = I check your I'd.

Discrete = I can't spell.

Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.

Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.

Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.

Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.

I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.

Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.

Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.

Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.

AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.

AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.

You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.

You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.

CMT = good massage, bad sex.

FBSM = bad massage, good sex.

What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:

Unless specified, you can assume:

Hair color = brown.

Hair length = to shoulder.

Eye color = brown.

Age = mature.

Height = short.

Weight = heavy.

Cup size = small.

Measurements = large.[/QUOTE]Very good. Quite a bit of truth in there makes it funny.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/BodyRubs/baby-let-me-keep-you-companyopen-till-9pm/18410711[/URL]

Can anyone direct me to a review on her? I havn't seen her post for that long, and a few, slight red flags are hinted, but seems to be pretty hot to me. Havn't found anything on limited searching.

[QUOTE=MrCruzer;2401910]Very good. Quite a bit of truth in there makes it funny.[/QUOTE]This is a fun. And accurate -post. Thanks!

[QUOTE=Donntee;2401794]Originally Posted in San Diego.

Quote Originally Posted by Bwetfan.

I'm starting to think that just about anybody that says "down to earth" is going to suck (in a bad sense, not a using their mouth sense).

On the same note, long ago when I started the hobby, I was doing a little research and had stumbled upon a write up somewhere and I had saved it. I still use it for reference. Helps me decode the ads better.

Apologies in advance for the long ass post.

Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.

To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, [URL]myredbook.com[/URL]'s pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:

BBW = fat.

Voluptuous = fat.

Curvy = fat.

Curvaceous = fat.

Thick = fat.

Rubenesque = fat.

Womanly = fat.

Hourglass = fat.

Supersized = fat.

Pic of face only? = fat.

Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.

Gives bra size only? = fat.

Busty = either saggy or fat.

Naturally busty = saggy and fat.

Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.

Slim = no boobs.

Svelte = no boobs.

Slender = no boobs.

Dancer's body = no boobs.

Runner = no boobs.

Spinner = no boobs.

Yoga = no boobs.

Bombshell = fake boobs.

Baywatch = fake boobs.

Playboy = fake boobs.

Model = fake boobs.

Brazilian = black.

Butterscotch = black.

Caramel = black.

Chocolate = black.

Creole = black.

Cuban = black.

Dominican = black.

Ebony = black.

Egyptian = black.

Eritrean = black.

Ethiopian = black.

Exotic = black.

Hawaiian = black.

Mahogany = black.

Mocha = black.

Mulatto = black.

Nubian = black.

Mixed = black.

Mature = old.

Courtesan = old.

Gracious = old.

Refined = old.

Elegant = old.

Classic = old.

Conservative = old.

Original = old.

Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:

College Student = late 20's.

Just turned 18 = mid 20's.

19 = possible jailbait.

21 = late 20's.

28 = late 30's.

Intelligent = brunette.

Sorority Girl = blonde.

Selective = overpriced.

Exclusive = very overpriced.

Classy = can't afford lingerie.

Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.

Nasty = doesn't shower at all.

Upscale = snooty personality.

All American = all trailer trash.

Princess = I have an attitude problem.

Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.

On fire = active herpes outbreak.

Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.

Coed = plain looking with acne problem.

Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.

Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.

Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.

Energetic = methamphetamine addict.

Down to earth = boring.

College graduate = sleeps with professors.

Open minded = openly accepts tips.

Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.

New to business = changed name.

New to area = changed name and moved across bay.

Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.

Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.

Discreet = I check your I'd.

Discrete = I can't spell.

Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.

Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.

Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.

Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.

I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.

Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.

Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.

Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.

AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.

AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.

You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.

You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.

CMT = good massage, bad sex.

FBSM = bad massage, good sex.

What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:

Unless specified, you can assume:

Hair color = brown.

Hair length = to shoulder.

Eye color = brown.

Age = mature.

Height = short.

Weight = heavy.

Cup size = small.

Measurements = large.[/QUOTE]Not a clock watcher = you're out of here as soon as you pop.

Unforgettable experience = you're getting ripped off.

Unforgettable experience = LEO creates ad, lifetime record.

Pics are real or recent = just not of me.

What a great start to my day! I needed that laugh for sure. Thanks for sharing.

[QUOTE=Donntee;2401794]Originally Posted in San Diego.

Quote Originally Posted by Bwetfan.

I'm starting to think that just about anybody that says "down to earth" is going to suck (in a bad sense, not a using their mouth sense).

On the same note, long ago when I started the hobby, I was doing a little research and had stumbled upon a write up somewhere and I had saved it. I still use it for reference. Helps me decode the ads better.

Apologies in advance for the long ass post.

Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.

To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, [URL]myredbook.com[/URL]'s pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:

BBW = fat.

Voluptuous = fat.

Curvy = fat.

Curvaceous = fat.

Thick = fat.

Rubenesque = fat.

Womanly = fat.

Hourglass = fat.

Supersized = fat.

Pic of face only? = fat.

Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.

Gives bra size only? = fat.

Busty = either saggy or fat.

Naturally busty = saggy and fat.

Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.

Slim = no boobs.

Svelte = no boobs.

Slender = no boobs.

Dancer's body = no boobs.

Runner = no boobs.

Spinner = no boobs.

Yoga = no boobs.

Bombshell = fake boobs.

Baywatch = fake boobs.

Playboy = fake boobs.

Model = fake boobs.

Brazilian = black.

Butterscotch = black.

Caramel = black.

Chocolate = black.

Creole = black.

Cuban = black.

Dominican = black.

Ebony = black.

Egyptian = black.

Eritrean = black.

Ethiopian = black.

Exotic = black.

Hawaiian = black.

Mahogany = black.

Mocha = black.

Mulatto = black.

Nubian = black.

Mixed = black.

Mature = old.

Courtesan = old.

Gracious = old.

Refined = old.

Elegant = old.

Classic = old.

Conservative = old.

Original = old.

Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:

College Student = late 20's.

Just turned 18 = mid 20's.

19 = possible jailbait.

21 = late 20's.

28 = late 30's.

Intelligent = brunette.

Sorority Girl = blonde.

Selective = overpriced.

Exclusive = very overpriced.

Classy = can't afford lingerie.

Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.

Nasty = doesn't shower at all.

Upscale = snooty personality.

All American = all trailer trash.

Princess = I have an attitude problem.

Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.

On fire = active herpes outbreak.

Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.

Coed = plain looking with acne problem.

Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.

Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.

Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.

Energetic = methamphetamine addict.

Down to earth = boring.

College graduate = sleeps with professors.

Open minded = openly accepts tips.

Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.

New to business = changed name.

New to area = changed name and moved across bay.

Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.

Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.

Discreet = I check your I'd.

Discrete = I can't spell.

Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.

Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.

Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.

Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.

I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.

Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.

Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.

Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.

AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.

AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.

You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.

You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.

CMT = good massage, bad sex.

FBSM = bad massage, good sex.

What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:

Unless specified, you can assume:

Hair color = brown.

Hair length = to shoulder.

Eye color = brown.

Age = mature.

Height = short.

Weight = heavy.

Cup size = small.

Measurements = large.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=ChewDog57;2397269][URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/BodyRubs/let-me-help-you-unwind/18241555[/URL]

I haven't seen anyone else mention it, so I thought I would. It's not the same pic that Panacea uses, although this girl makes quite an attempt to duplicate it. I called she said her name is Rachel and works at Royal Touch. I've never seen Natalie, so I can't say for sure the pic isn't her, but maybe someone else that has can say for sure. I do see old reviews for a masseuse named Rachel so perhaps this is her? Just wanted to clear this up for anyone that calls thinking it's Natalie based on what LoveMassage posted (like I did).[/QUOTE]Definitely two different ladies. Saw Natalie at Panacea last week, she has a stud in her lower right lip and one in her, well, ummmmm, down there where I could feel it through the panties.

Had a dream of Tina awhile back and thought I would share it with everyone. Let me preface by saying that I have an affinity towards real redheads and I am not a spinner kind of guy.

In my dream, Tina met me at her new quiet location and I thoroughly excited she was a real and very pretty redhead. She greeted me with nice lingerie and a clean house. Her roommate smokes but you can hardly tell so no worry about smoke residue on clothes. She was an absolute dream to work with and performed everything I had asked. Tina is everything that her reviews here say and I would add that my experience was better. She was clean and smelled fantastic. If you are a DATY kind of guy, she is perfect. Very responsive and kept my interest the entire visit. A real gem!

I will be dreaming of her again.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/new-location-new-pix-mins-from-131-n-96-100-satisfaction-guaranteed/14808833[/URL]

[QUOTE=Shawtren;2402337]What a great start to my day! I needed that laugh for sure. Thanks for sharing.[/QUOTE]That WAS funny as hell.

[QUOTE=Akinbacon;2402577]That WAS funny as hell.[/QUOTE]And this is why I don't frequent BP anymore. BTW, this applies to all BP's everywhere!

Anyone have any info on this lovely goddess?

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/egyptian-goddess-ivy/18490409[/URL]

If not I might have to take one for the team. I check the photos and nothing came up.

Any recent visits there. I have not seen any in a long time??

Grandrapids. [URL]backpage.com[/URL]/ FemaleEscorts / egyptian-goddess-ivy /18490409.

I was going to ask if this one was TGTBT because obviously it is. But I was curious and texted her and she said it was her. So I decided to call her bluff. It is her as pictured and the pics could have been taken yesterday. Needless to say, I went into shock and did whatever she told me to. $80.00 for an hour massage, strip and lay on an air mattress on the floor. She got completely naked to give the massage. Perfect body. No tattoos or blemishes. She climbs on top, throws on too much oil, and proceeds to give the crappiest massage in history. But who really cares! She could carry a decent conversation and has been all over the world. After 10 minutes of moving oil around my back, she asks me to flip. She dumped on anther quart of oil and did an amazing job of teasing me and allowed me a little roaming. I did not push or ask for anything more. When I asked to play with her ass, she sat on my chest and went to town. She is beautiful. I left 40 because I left after 25 minutes. The place is an apartment used by another girl and a dude. Seniors my PM but don't feel slighted if I don't answer because I am busy and I have told you all.

[QUOTE=TrevorSyne;2402550]Had a dream of Tina awhile back and thought I would share it with everyone. Let me preface by saying that I have an affinity towards real redheads and I am not a spinner kind of guy.

In my dream, Tina met me at her new quiet location and I thoroughly excited she was a real and very pretty redhead. She greeted me with nice lingerie and a clean house. Her roommate smokes but you can hardly tell so no worry about smoke residue on clothes. She was an absolute dream to work with and performed everything I had asked. Tina is everything that her reviews here say and I would add that my experience was better. She was clean and smelled fantastic. If you are a DATY kind of guy, she is perfect. Very responsive and kept my interest the entire visit. A real gem!

I will be dreaming of her again.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/new-location-new-pix-mins-from-131-n-96-100-satisfaction-guaranteed/14808833[/URL][/QUOTE]Am excellent review from a new guy. Since I am a favorite of Tinas I concur on every aspect of this report. Great report.

NBB.

[URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/im-ready-to-relax-you/18637166[/URL]

Read a couple promising reviews so I decided to give her a go.

The Good:

- She is VERY nice. In fact nice enough that I started to wonder how she ended up living out of a hotel! LOL.

- She is attractive, but the pictures are a little optimistic.

- She is a performer! She gets an A+ for effort.

- Beautiful box for a woman with kids.

The Bad: (short list).

- Hotel was sub-par.

- Had roommate that would have gladly duo'ed but I passed.

- Smokes.

All in all I would give serious consideration to seeing her again. She isn't perfect but I would recommend.

Seniors can PM for details. Prior reviews by CAP are accurate.

O-Jo.

Will be coming to town for a week, any intel on a girl named Meeya? Thank you.

[QUOTE=OrdinaryJo;2403052][URL]http://grandrapids.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/im-ready-to-relax-you/18637166[/URL]

Read a couple promising reviews so I decided to give her a go.

The Good:

- She is VERY nice. In fact nice enough that I started to wonder how she ended up living out of a hotel! LOL.

- She is attractive, but the pictures are a little optimistic.

- She is a performer! She gets an A+ for effort.

- Beautiful box for a woman with kids.

The Bad: (short list).

- Hotel was sub-par.

- Had roommate that would have gladly duo'ed but I passed.

- Smokes.

All in all I would give serious consideration to seeing her again. She isn't perfect but I would recommend.

Seniors can PM for details. Prior reviews by CAP are accurate.

O-Jo.[/QUOTE]I saw her as well this week and you beat me to the punch with your review.

I was not impressed with her looks, however I certainly wasn't repulsed either. Pics much better than in person. Boobs a little flat and saggy, but acceptable. Girlfriend stayed in the bathroom the whole time, actually the girlfriend appeared younger and more attractive. Also had a little yapper dog in the room as well, wasn't a big deal as it settled down after the party started. Hotel was ok, they definitely smoke in the room. I F'ing hate leaving smelling like an ashtray.

She gave a decent BJ, although after inspecting the tip of 4 Barry's and accepting my BJ request she upsold me for another Barry to CIM. Very nice person, and that is important, and very accommodating with above average French skills. Not out of this world, but acceptable. I would rate the overall experience a be-.

[QUOTE=Benz1;2395052]I took Cap's advice, Toftt.

She is Real, Real nice too.

She has an alacart menu, pick what you like.

Covered ss BJ or FS. 5,. Hhr. 65,. 1 hr. 9.

BB services, ss Cim. 8, . Cip $ . Greek $. 2. . Hhr and 1 hr available.

Dacing for an extra. 1 and Kissing for. 2. (GFE with daty requires good hygiene).

The good. She is fun size, about 5' and flexable, cheerful and happy to please and be pleased. It looks like everything is on the menu but you will need to bring a calculator to add up everthing you want to do. You guys know me, I just went head first into the BBBJCIM.

She is in a hotel with a lounge and elevators, ok for me.

Pics are real, Real nice ass too. a couple stretch marks on belly.

Overall good time, this girl likes her gob. I will repeat.[/QUOTE]The first review on her, indicated it was an Alacart menu. Maybe Joiedv didn't see the menu that I posted.

Just trying to help.

The girl friend wasn't there during my visit. If she was there, I wouldnt have her sit in the bathroom, I would invite her watch.

[QUOTE=Benz1;2404231]The first review on her, indicated it was an Alacart menu. Maybe Joiedv didn't see the menu that I posted.

Just trying to help.

The girl friend wasn't there during my visit. If she was there, I wouldnt have her sit in the bathroom, I would invite her watch.[/QUOTE]I guess I missed the alacart menu post. I didn't think that I had enough money for both, but if I visit again I will have a few extra roses for the friend to watch or participate. Good call.