Massage Parlor Reports

Strangest thing ever happened to me was after a very good full service massage she cleaned me up with a hot towel and shoved the warm towel up my ass and cleaned all the oil out. Very unique sensation.

Then the last thing she did before I got dressed she leaned in to what I thought was going to be a good bye kiss and she bit my nose. Not hard enough to make it bleed but enough to make me tear up. Not like I have a large schnozz or anything it is probably below average. I think she did it to stand out and I have never forgotten her. I went back two weeks later and she was gone.

I also had a lady that cut my nails which was a nice additional service to a great full service massage, but she ended up leaving after 3 or 4 visits.

[QUOTE=DarkStar58;6846385]I've been a regular at this AMP in RVA seeing the same MT for about a couple of years. After we finished and all cleaned up, she started finish the hour out with head and neck massage then moved to start a foot massage. Why'all know the drill. Anyway, as she started my foot massage, she looking at my toe talons says my "toe nails are gross, you need to go to a nail shop", before I could say anything she get up and gets hot wet towels and wraps my feet up then proceeds to give me brief neck massage for a few minutes. Then she leaves come's back with finger / toenail clippers and an emery board thingy and proceeds to clip and file my talons; then when all done with my toes she starts to clip and file my finger nails. So every time I'm there for a massage, she checks my toe nails and finger nails.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=BairenNanhai;6843236]This would be a great thread! Craziest stuff I've seen at AMPs. I've been doing this a minute, but luckily, nothing too awfully bad has happened to me. I would not rate this bad, but definitely unexpected; I had an attractive, well built Chinese lady riding my face while giving a HJ, and when she came, she almost drowned me. That was actually the only squirter I've ever experienced.

Bairn.[/QUOTE][QUOTE=Robinhood757;6843363]Bairin, That would be a great thread. Get it going!

Not sure I have much to contribute but I would love to read it. Would especially like to know if the that squirter is still around?[/QUOTE]Have not seen my squirter in too long. Things got complicated, and I'm not allowed to talk about it. Anywho, I also had some interesting times with Wendy from the Beach. We got to be pretty good friends. If she wasn't busy, we would have long talks, or take naps together. She is really a nice lady, and good at what she does. Have not seen her in a long time, except last month she was at Pick and Pull with some white-haired dude. She did not make eye contact. Always interesting when you see them in the wild, haha! I never knew what I was going to get with her. Massages were never great, but first time she started playing with my ass and asked if that's what I was there for. Sometimes she would get busy, rush me through an HJ, and send me out. Sometimes she didn't charge me, or said pay what you want. Eventually I quit getting massages and would stop in just for a quickie. It went to FS. Occasionally she would just start in on a BBBJ out of nowhere, but depending on her mood, sometimes would try to fever me with Saran Wrap, or drop her pants and start grinding on me. Slides were good too, and I'm sure I could have gotten BBFS, but didn't want the risk. One time I went down on her, and a few minutes in, she stopped me and rubbed one out while I watched. Fun times. We showered together on that weird TS she had too. Those were the largest nips I have seen in person. She is still around at another VB spa. Maybe I should stop I. For old time's sake.

Bairen.

What are some of your guys pet peeves about AMPs? I will start with some of mine. And I'm aware these girls work long hours and are human, so not trying to be that guy! Not every girl wants to stick a finger in every guy's ass.

1. Not enough oil. I want to be slippery like a baby seal. It just seems to lead to more fun.

2. Too much time spent on upper back. I like legs and glutes more so would like time spent there!

3. Too much elbows. A little here and there is fine, but a lot of girls rely on that thing.

4. Hitting the same 1 or 2 spots over and over. It gets painful.

5. Massaging the spine / bones. It doesn't feel good haha.

6. I like when the teasing happens during the massage, not the last 2 minutes before flip.

7. Prefer too hot over slightly too cold.

8. Too long of a over the towel massage. Let's get straight to the oil.

9. Not paying attention to surgical scars, they are there for a reason. Take it easy!

10. Rubbing oily hands through my hair. I either have to go home or back to work, don't want oily hair.

11. A number of places say they don't do 45 min. 30 min is too short, 60 min may be too long, why not something in between!

Look forward to seeing what you guys have.

I agree on the oil, except for the ending. I prefer more friction.

My ass looks weird, because I lost a lot of skin a while back from a car accident. And I hate when they're too afraid to touch it.

[QUOTE=Moseic98;6874300]What are some of your guys pet peeves about AMPs? I will start with some of mine. And I'm aware these girls work long hours and are human, so not trying to be that guy! Not every girl wants to stick a finger in every guy's ass.

1. Not enough oil. I want to be slippery like a baby seal. It just seems to lead to more fun.

2. Too much time spent on upper back. I like legs and glutes more so would like time spent there!

3. Too much elbows. A little here and there is fine, but a lot of girls rely on that thing.

4. Hitting the same 1 or 2 spots over and over. It gets painful.

5. Massaging the spine / bones. It doesn't feel good haha.

6. I like when the teasing happens during the massage, not the last 2 minutes before flip.

7. Prefer too hot over slightly too cold.

8. Too long of a over the towel massage. Let's get straight to the oil.

9. Not paying attention to surgical scars, they are there for a reason. Take it easy!

10. Rubbing oily hands through my hair. I either have to go home or back to work, don't want oily hair.

11. A number of places say they don't do 45 min. 30 min is too short, 60 min may be too long, why not something in between!

Look forward to seeing what you guys have.[/QUOTE]

"Not every girl wants to stick a finger in every guy's ass. ".

That belongs on a t-shirt. I'll cut you in.

Anyway, I am not bothered too much by the variations; that is half the fun. I do wish they would spend more time on a front massage, though. Thighs, chest, nipps, that type of thing.

The one thing that has been bugging me for a while is that certain places dim the room lights so much that I can't find the chair, the slippers, my clothes, see what the girl looks like, or get my bearings. I know I am getting older and the eyes are not what they used to be, but jeez. Once place is so dark, with just red light, that when I walk out it is like I have been in an over-chlorinated pool for an hour. I don't need full florescent ceiling lights, but at least enough light to see what the hell is going on.

MonMon.

[QUOTE=Mongermonger;6875070]"Not every girl wants to stick a finger in every guy's ass. ".

That belongs on a t-shirt. I'll cut you in.

Anyway, I am not bothered too much by the variations; that is half the fun. I do wish they would spend more time on a front massage, though. Thighs, chest, nipps, that type of thing.

The one thing that has been bugging me for a while is that certain places dim the room lights so much that I can't find the chair, the slippers, my clothes, see what the girl looks like, or get my bearings. I know I am getting older and the eyes are not what they used to be, but jeez. Once place is so dark, with just red light, that when I walk out it is like I have been in an over-chlorinated pool for an hour. I don't need full florescent ceiling lights, but at least enough light to see what the hell is going on.

MonMon.[/QUOTE]I prefer it darker, let's be honest, my hairy ass doesn't need to be seen with fluorescent lightning haha. I do agree that it needs to be enough light to see the girl, and be able to see into your wallet. I have a fear I'm going to grab a $100 instead of a $10 when tipping because I can't see.

1. I don't want any oil except for the shake.

2. When I say soft touch, they always go all over, not just one spot.

3. See #2.

4. See #2.

5. See #2.

6. If tease isn't happening like I want, I either flip or move their hand.

7. whatever.

8. I never have towel on me.

9. can't relate.

10. See #1.

11. I go with 60, you can always leave sooner.

So there you have it.

[QUOTE=MetalHead63;6879219]1. I don't want any oil except for the shake.

2. When I say soft touch, they always go all over, not just one spot.

3. See #2.

4. See #2.

5. See #2.

6. If tease isn't happening like I want, I either flip or move their hand.

7. whatever.

8. I never have towel on me.

9. can't relate.

10. See #1.

11. I go with 60, you can always leave sooner.

So there you have it.[/QUOTE]Can you explain 11? I think I know what you mean, but for the purpose of conversation I want to be sure before I respond to that.

[QUOTE=JayNTurn;6879366]Can you explain 11? I think I know what you mean, but for the purpose of conversation I want to be sure before I respond to that.[/QUOTE]
I always go with 60 minutes. 30 is rushing, 45 means I have to bring something other than 20's. I have done 90, sometimes planned, sometimes unexpected based on a hot provider. In recent months, I have paid for 60 but left sooner as experience just sucked. No tip.

[QUOTE=MetalHead63;6879828]I always go with 60 minutes. 30 is rushing, 45 means I have to bring something other than 20's. I have done 90, sometimes planned, sometimes unexpected based on a hot provider. In recent months, I have paid for 60 but left sooner as experience just sucked. No tip.[/QUOTE]I don't disagree with you. I do prefer the 60 minute option for this reason--if its someone I never had before, of course I'm curious and excited to see where it leads. OR If I had someone before, and I like them, I want to maximize the time, so 60 is a better option.

I always advise stopping at a 7-11/ store to break some 20's in the event the flip doesn't pan out like you want it. I have no shame in either not tipping, or tipping smaller than the standard. 4.

The leaving early part--couldn't agree more. That would be the tip I give them. They get another client sooner than expected. Works out for them in their favor.

I think my pet peeve is popping my fingers. I have arthritis and some of my fingers are a bit bent. I would rather they stay in their current condition. When the MT tries to pull them straight again, it doesn't work but it is fairly painful and I am wondering why I paid for torture.

[QUOTE=OldSailor;6880229]I think my pet peeve is popping my fingers. I have arthritis and some of my fingers are a bit bent. I would rather they stay in their current condition. When the MT tries to pull them straight again, it doesn't work but it is fairly painful and I am wondering why I paid for torture.[/QUOTE]Seems like so many don't want to say your needs, whether to do something or don't. Read this on other location forums as well. I often move hands where I want them to go.

Across from why-town Walmart, little car dealership beside a Wawa. I saw a massage banner and never noticed before. Is it new? I was going to try them out, figured I would ask first. I don't see a name or anything.

[QUOTE=Moseic98;6874300]What are some of your guys pet peeves about AMPs? I will start with some of mine. And I'm aware these girls work long hours and are human, so not trying to be that guy! Not every girl wants to stick a finger in every guy's ass.

1. Not enough oil. I want to be slippery like a baby seal. It just seems to lead to more fun.
-I’ll take something in between.
2. Too much time spent on upper back. I like legs and glutes more so would like time spent there!
-Back needs the most attention for me, but I want it all, so typically go at least 60, but when I need it, 90.
3. Too much elbows. A little here and there is fine, but a lot of girls rely on that thing.
-True, but I know a lot of the girls have aches and pains too, and this is how some compensate.
4. Hitting the same 1 or 2 spots over and over. It gets painful.
-True, but sometimes I need her to bring the pain, and I walk out feeling better.
5. Massaging the spine / bones. It doesn't feel good haha.
-Agreed! This is just a lack of training!
6. I like when the teasing happens during the massage, not the last 2 minutes before flip.
-Yes! As long as the work gets done too!
7. Prefer too hot over slightly too cold.
-How can you relax and enjoy a massage when it’s so cold? Love me some table warmers!
8. Too long of an over the towel massage. Let's get straight to the oil.
-I enjoy the towel start, but especially when you get a girl that just throws it away after 60 seconds!
9. Not paying attention to surgical scars, they are there for a reason. Take it easy!
-Again, lack of training..[/QUOTE]Many times on the first visit, I just let it go and see what happens. If it's good enough for a return, I will try more to steer them the way I want. Don't be afraid to let them know what you like or dislike. If you don't ask, you don't get.

Bairen.