View Full Version : Should we stop mongering? How?
OrlandoRob
11-25-24, 14:49
Ok I'll be honest. After years of this I'm open to finding a new path.
Honestly the talent pool keeps getting smaller anyways.
Curious any of you try and stop mongering? Any tricks that.
Anyone has? Really not great for home life and I want to.
Hang up my cleats if I can.
Ok I'll be honest. After years of this I'm open to finding a new path.
Honestly the talent pool keeps getting smaller anyways.
Curious any of you try and stop mongering? Any tricks that.
Anyone has? Really not great for home life and I want to.
Hang up my cleats if I can.I looked for something serious on SA and lucked out. Some say their looking for LT but then will hit you with the PPM unitl were comfortable crap that's a red flag for me. If their serious about LT money usually isn't even discussed on date 1. Not saying that's the best path but it worked for me. I've been tempted to monger from time to time but theirs literally nothing not on my womens menu for makes it hard to justify.
OrlandoRob
11-26-24, 09:31
Thanks for the reply. I'm at the same point. Find a utr regular and get out.
Of the rat race.
I looked for something serious on SA and lucked out. Some say their looking for LT but then will hit you with the PPM unitl were comfortable crap that's a red flag for me. If their serious about LT money usually isn't even discussed on date 1. Not saying that's the best path but it worked for me. I've been tempted to monger from time to time but theirs literally nothing not on my womens menu for makes it hard to justify.
TRowePrice
11-26-24, 10:47
Thanks for the reply. I'm at the same point. Find a utr regular and get out.
Of the rat race.Ditto- also clean yourself up, get into a gym / healthy lifestyle. You can easily bag normal woman from church and the gym and even volunteering. I know a monger here who met his SO that way and he still plays on the side.
FlMongerer
11-26-24, 17:26
Being married makes it almost impossible to go in any other direction. Can't get on Tinder. Can't bag a woman from a local bar and etc. I would love to stop paying for it, but I don't see a viable option.
ArtistOfWar1
11-26-24, 17:40
Thanks for the reply. I'm at the same point. Find a utr regular and get out.
Of the rat race.A good UTR would be great but hard to find (hence the name LOL).
I think about going square again but then I meet a civvie and the games they play begins.
So off I go to the AMP for a stress free sure thing.
Ok I'll be honest. After years of this I'm open to finding a new path.
Honestly the talent pool keeps getting smaller anyways.
Curious any of you try and stop mongering? Any tricks that.
Anyone has? Really not great for home life and I want to.
Hang up my cleats if I can.
Being married makes it almost impossible to go in any other direction. Can't get on Tinder. Can't bag a woman from a local bar and etc. I would love to stop paying for it, but I don't see a viable option.Based on my experience if you are married and become addicted to this lifestyle it is very difficult to turn back on your own. The only option that does help a bit is to join an SLAA group and consistently participate. It helped me for awhile but at my age I couldn't see myself doing that for the rest of my life to stay sober. It's a tough gig to break especially if you're into variety.
FlMongerer
11-27-24, 09:51
Based on my experience if you are married and become addicted to this lifestyle it is very difficult to turn back on your own. The only option that does help a bit is to join an SLAA group and consistently participate. It helped me for awhile but at my age I couldn't see myself doing that for the rest of my life to stay sober. It's a tough gig to break especially if you're into variety.Thanks for your feedback and advice. I think you nailed it and I probably do have to take steps by first admitting I have an addiction and joining a group like that. I have tried breaking the habit but I always end up going back to my regulars.
NampFisher
11-27-24, 14:38
Find a different, straight hobby. Like join a softball league or something that puts your energy elsewhere.
Ok I'll be honest. After years of this I'm open to finding a new path.
Honestly the talent pool keeps getting smaller anyways.
Curious any of you try and stop mongering? Any tricks that.
Anyone has? Really not great for home life and I want to.
Hang up my cleats if I can.
Damn bro! It's so funny you mention this, but so true at the same time. If people would know how easy it is to fuck women in church, specially the married ones. I know that this sounds horrible, but I've already had about four affairs with women at church, and I'm talking about beautiful women who wouldn't look at average guys like me outside of that environment. Church women feel unattended by their husbands and crave attention and I don't exaggerate when I say that this applies to 90% of them. You basically befriend them at the congregation, and they start talking to you about their matrimony issues, and after that it's a wrap, 2-3 weeks later you are fucking their brains out. I just fail to understand how almost no men have discovered this hack. Quite impressive.
Ditto- also clean yourself up, get into a gym / healthy lifestyle. You can easily bag normal woman from church and the gym and even volunteering. I know a monger here who met his SO that way and he still plays on the side.
Damn bro! It's so funny you mention this, but so true at the same time. If people would know how easy it is to fuck women in church, specially the married ones. I know that this sounds horrible, but I've already had about four affairs with women at church, and I'm talking about beautiful women who wouldn't look at average guys like me outside of that environment. Church women feel unattended by their husbands and crave attention and I don't exaggerate when I say that this applies to 90% of them. You basically befriend them at the congregation, and they start talking to you about their matrimony issues, and after that it's a wrap, 2-3 weeks later you are fucking their brains out. I just fail to understand how almost no men have discovered this hack. Quite impressive.Now that's interesting! I take it you are single?
As a wise man once said: Pussy is awesome, Pussy is the greatest!
Ok I'll be honest. After years of this I'm open to finding a new path.
Honestly the talent pool keeps getting smaller anyways.
Curious any of you try and stop mongering? Any tricks that.
Anyone has? Really not great for home life and I want to.
Hang up my cleats if I can.
As a wise man once said: Pussy is awesome, Pussy is the greatest!Damn right it is! Its my drug / addiction. Just sad that the market pricing has gone so high that I can no longer afford it.
Indeed I am a single man, which gives me a Huge advantaged over married men, but nevertheless, married men can do this as well, if they play their cards correctly. The thing is that people don't have a clue of how easy it is to do it. It's almost like if the women themselves come at you seeking attention. You just need to be friendly and listen to them.
Now that's interesting! I take it you are single?
IrwinFletcher1
11-29-24, 14:43
Thanks for your feedback and advice. I think you nailed it and I probably do have to take steps by first admitting I have an addiction and joining a group like that. I have tried breaking the habit but I always end up going back to my regulars.Crazy how this has come up. I was thinking the same thing a few days ago. I've been in this for 20 years. It's easy to go hog wild with all these chicks that are available. But at the end of the day you're bank account is drained and you're still alone with or without a SO that doesn't want or do what you want. I've stopped for a few months but find myself driving to one of my regulars and banging the hell out of her and driving off day WTF man. But also, flip the coin, can these girls ever stop and stay with just one guy? I'm sure many have just like us. But I'm thinking more have not and can just like us. Thanks for this thread.
Fletch.
Indeed I am a single man, which gives me a Huge advantaged over married men, but nevertheless, married men can do this as well, if they play their cards correctly. The thing is that people don't have a clue of how easy it is to do it. It's almost like if the women themselves come at you seeking attention. You just need to be friendly and listen to them.You meet them at Mass or at church events? Lmao.
Considering getting out of the hobby as well. It filled a hole in my life, as my marriage is great in all facets but one. Wife will kiss, fondle and say she wants me, but the deed is rarely done. We're in our 50's so some letdown is expected, but is this too much?
Old guys (over 45 anyways!) - Do you still have sex with your wife on a regular basis?
OdinsBeard78
02-17-25, 09:26
Considering getting out of the hobby as well. It filled a hole in my life, as my marriage is great in all facets but one. Wife will kiss, fondle and say she wants me, but the deed is rarely done. We're in our 50's so some letdown is expected, but is this too much?
Old guys (over 45 anyways!) - Do you still have sex with your wife on a regular basis?What you're saying is exactly what happens with me too. My wife is definitely pre menopausal and also deals with fibroids. Her menstrual cycle is all over the place but she is being stubborn about going to a doctor. Exact same she will kiss we will play around some but that's it. Last time I tried even fingering her she started crying saying it hurt.
But mongering is getting to be a hobby that is getting $$ right now. My few regulars are maintaining their prices but sometimes I want something new. Tried the SB and they usually want more. Idk if its worth it anymore.
What you're saying is exactly what happens with me too. My wife is definitely pre menopausal and also deals with fibroids. Her menstrual cycle is all over the place but she is being stubborn about going to a doctor. Exact same she will kiss we will play around some but that's it. Last time I tried even fingering her she started crying saying it hurt.
But mongering is getting to be a hobby that is getting $$ right now. My few regulars are maintaining their prices but sometimes I want something new. Tried the SB and they usually want more. Idk if its worth it anymore.Totally agree! I had 3 regulars but my favorite seems to have vanished, and the other 2 are getting monotonous. And new friends seems to cost more than old friends. I'd step away if my wife became my "girlfriend" again. And I bet I'm not alone in thinking this.
IrwinFletcher1
02-18-25, 07:33
Totally agree! I had 3 regulars but my favorite seems to have vanished, and the other 2 are getting monotonous. And new friends seems to cost more than old friends. I'd step away if my wife became my "girlfriend" again. And I bet I'm not alone in thinking this.You're not.
TRowePrice
02-18-25, 11:51
Totally agree! I had 3 regulars but my favorite seems to have vanished, and the other 2 are getting monotonous. And new friends seems to cost more than old friends. I'd step away if my wife became my "girlfriend" again. And I bet I'm not alone in thinking this.This is true- I have to say the latter is what is driving my semi retirement (well that, and age). Those with wives need to talk to them and figure out what works. A co-worker of mine said she told her husband she is fine with a threesome and going to secrets but he has the issue with his plumbing. Another one said its fine to face f* as her lady bits are not in proper working order.
For me, I lack the patience needed to deal with new relationships and my expectations of increased. I may try to salvage an old one but most gals who leave rarely come back. If they do, it is so low key, its not worth mentioning on a board.
Considering getting out of the hobby as well. It filled a hole in my life, as my marriage is great in all facets but one. Wife will kiss, fondle and say she wants me, but the deed is rarely done. We're in our 50's so some letdown is expected, but is this too much?
Old guys (over 45 anyways!) - Do you still have sex with your wife on a regular basis?I've been debating about adding to this forum and finally said to myself, what the hell, chime in. First and foremost my wife is my best friend. We've been together getting close to 50 years. She has always been very vanilla in the bedroom in that no bbj and she doesn't like daty so there's not much foreplay leading to the main event. It's always been just straight sex with me in mish, until we both get our moment of pleasure. As time has crept up on both of us her drive has decreased and although mine is still strong I can only muster up MSOG with the right lady and every now and then I find her out here in the hobby land.
She is now in her late 60's and I'm now early 70's and we haven't been intimate in a year which is the longest we've ever gone. I'm not saying she doesn't want it because she does, it's just that I know how it will be and it's hard to get turned on thinking about it so I have a difficult time getting it up with her anymore. Hence the need for me to continue what I'm doing to fill that void or need since my drive is still fairly high for my age. That's kind of where I'm at right now.
Sparky 1984
02-19-25, 11:55
I've been debating about adding to this forum and finally said to myself, what the hell, chime in. First and foremost my wife is my best friend. We've been together getting close to 50 years. She has always been very vanilla in the bedroom in that no bbj and she doesn't like daty so there's not much foreplay leading to the main event. It's always been just straight sex with me in mish, until we both get our moment of pleasure. As time has crept up on both of us her drive has decreased and although mine is still strong I can only muster up MSOG with the right lady and every now and then I find her out here in the hobby land.
She is now in her late 60's and I'm now early 70's and we haven't been intimate in a year which is the longest we've ever gone. I'm not saying she doesn't want it because she does, it's just that I know how it will be and it's hard to get turned on thinking about it so I have a difficult time getting it up with her anymore. Hence the need for me to continue what I'm doing to fill that void or need since my drive is still fairly high for my age. That's kind of where I'm at right now.Wanted to add my 2 cents. My wife has had no sex drive as well used to beg all the time and got tired of begging, which is why I got into mongering, had she put out I probably would not have got into this. 2 years ago, she finally got off her ass and went to a hormone doctor and began hormone therapy. It took about a year to get her hormones in check and I have to say she is a totally different woman today. The Dr told her when she got her on the right therapy it would change her life stops hot flashes, her mood swings and a sex drive etc.
She is 57 and she will fuck everyday now, so there is hope for our SO's if they would go to the Dr. My problem is I like the variety so much now I can't stop myself maybe an addiction LOL. I always say I'm going to stop when she is calling me to come fuck her then I log into this site and I change my mind.
Happy Hunting Fellas.
Ok I'll be honest. After years of this I'm open to finding a new path.
Honestly the talent pool keeps getting smaller anyways.
Curious any of you try and stop mongering? Any tricks that.
Anyone has? Really not great for home life and I want to.
Hang up my cleats if I can.Due to an unrelated issue, I had to stop mongering for quite a while last year. I joined Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and actually had really good success. It was nice meeting other people that all shared the same urges as I did. I didn't (and don't) consider it an addiction, but the program helped nonetheless. I can point you to some local chapters if you want, or if you just google Orlando SAA you'll find some resources.
I have a long time SO and got into this hobby for a little variety. It was only very rarely and then only L1, that was reasonable for me to justify no harm no foul. Over the years it became a bit more frequent and then it was L1+ and sometimes L2. It was like a slow creep into more and more. I'd do L1 AMPs and Indy's but sometimes the Indy's would get naked or do fiv or BBBJ or daty. I started getting picky with their looks and such and it was reaching a crescendo and all the time my level of guilt to my SO was getting higher and higher. Then I began looking to for L2 and FS and although I never pulled the trigger on FS I was pretty damn close and that scared me. I was seeing one famous Indy who was giving me L2 sessions that could have been in a porn video, some wild memories and that's when I decided to call it quits. I had gotten away with it for so long and had some crazy experiences and decided I'd pushed it far enough. So I quit! That was two years ago.
Until I restarted, slowly and just a little here and there and it quickly creeped up to L2 again and I quit again just recently.
Due to an unrelated issue, I had to stop mongering for quite a while last year. I joined Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and actually had really good success. It was nice meeting other people that all shared the same urges as I did. I didn't (and don't) consider it an addiction, but the program helped nonetheless. I can point you to some local chapters if you want, or if you just google Orlando SAA you'll find some resources.Sorry, couldn't pass that one up.
Wanted to add my 2 cents. My wife has had no sex drive as well used to beg all the time and got tired of begging, which is why I got into mongering, had she put out I probably would not have got into this. 2 years ago, she finally got off her ass and went to a hormone doctor and began hormone therapy. It took about a year to get her hormones in check and I have to say she is a totally different woman today. The Dr told her when she got her on the right therapy it would change her life stops hot flashes, her mood swings and a sex drive etc.
She is 57 and she will fuck everyday now, so there is hope for our SO's if they would go to the Dr. My problem is I like the variety so much now I can't stop myself maybe an addiction LOL. I always say I'm going to stop when she is calling me to come fuck her then I log into this site and I change my mind.
Happy Hunting Fellas.Like you, I've also got to where I enjoy the variety and can't stop myself, especially when I have a divorced friend who sends me a text telling me she's in the mood to fuck. She will do everything my wife won't in the bedroom and will let me pleasure her in all the ways that do nothing for my wife. It's been a symbiotic relationship since the two of us horny people have no desire to change our current situations just a need for primal sex every now and then. The variety is still nice though since I don't think I'm wired to be monogamous when it comes to physical sex.
Sounds like you got a good setup with your friend.
The only concern I would have for you is that in my experience women have a harder time separating emotions and tend to eventually need more than your current setup. That is when things get screwed up.
Hopefully this doesn't happen to you.
Like you, I've also got to where I enjoy the variety and can't stop myself, especially when I have a divorced friend who sends me a text telling me she's in the mood to fuck. She will do everything my wife won't in the bedroom and will let me pleasure her in all the ways that do nothing for my wife. It's been a symbiotic relationship since the two of us horny people have no desire to change our current situations just a need for primal sex every now and then. The variety is still nice though since I don't think I'm wired to be monogamous when it comes to physical sex.
IrwinFletcher1
02-20-25, 10:43
Sounds like you got a good setup with your friend.
The only concern I would have for you is that in my experience women have a harder time separating emotions and tend to eventually need more than your current setup. That is when things get screwed up.
Hopefully this doesn't happen to you.WOW!! I didn't know there were people going through what I'm going through. My SO is my best friend and has been for decades! But the lack of sex in the bedroom Has put me here. It's maybe two positions and that's all. I to started with just L1 and slowly creeped to L2 and felt horrible!! But I'm always chasing the pussy with my SO ad I'm tired of it. I've talked with her about it but nothing happens. Then I started L3 and so on and just like you guys I kinda like the variety. At the same time I'm thinking bro!! You're crazy!! All of what you have could vanish if you get caught!! You really want to start over at your age?? Not sure what to do. I've always said this is it I'm out!! But come right back again in a few weeks. Pussy is strong my brothers. It's the driving force.
Member #7280
02-20-25, 11:27
Crazy how this has come up. I was thinking the same thing a few days ago. I've been in this for 20 years. It's easy to go hog wild with all these chicks that are available. But at the end of the day you're bank account is drained and you're still alone with or without a SO that doesn't want or do what you want. I've stopped for a few months but find myself driving to one of my regulars and banging the hell out of her and driving off day WTF man. But also, flip the coin, can these girls ever stop and stay with just one guy? I'm sure many have just like us. But I'm thinking more have not and can just like us. Thanks for this thread.
Fletch.Just like every other vice in my life, I'm slowly aging out of the hobby for many reasons. I was 17 years old in 1981 when I first became intrigued with the hobby. Since those days I've seen alot good, bad, and indifferent. During my active years, I had less than a hand full of encounters that could have ended badly in terms of LEO or an unstable individual. As an older guy I'm smart enough to realize new vulnerabilities could become a disadvantage. I'm much more selective and patient these days.
IrwinFletcher1
02-20-25, 12:07
Just like every other vice in my life, I'm slowly aging out of the hobby for many reasons. I was 17 years old in 1981 when I first became intrigued with the hobby. Since those days I've seen alot good, bad, and indifferent. During my active years, I had less than a hand full of encounters that could have ended badly in terms of LEO or an unstable individual. As an older guy I'm smart enough to realize new vulnerabilities could become a disadvantage. I'm much more selective and patient these days.I've been doing this since 2005.maybe it's my age now. But I'm finding myself more and more of thinking of just hanging it up. I know my bank account would love it. Plus I owe it to my SO. Maybe she's doing the same and I'm just oblivious? I've found myself in not so good situations and have been able to tip toe away and have had some experiences that even porn movies couldn't come close to it. Ok that one was a stretch, but I think I would've won an award. Don't have an answer for all this.
Just like every other vice in my life, I'm slowly aging out of the hobby for many reasons. I was 17 years old in 1981 when I first became intrigued with the hobby. Since those days I've seen alot good, bad, and indifferent. During my active years, I had less than a hand full of encounters that could have ended badly in terms of LEO or an unstable individual. As an older guy I'm smart enough to realize new vulnerabilities could become a disadvantage. I'm much more selective and patient these days.
I've been doing this since 2005.maybe it's my age now. But I'm finding myself more and more of thinking of just hanging it up. I know my bank account would love it. Plus I owe it to my SO. Maybe she's doing the same and I'm just oblivious? I've found myself in not so good situations and have been able to tip toe away and have had some experiences that even porn movies couldn't come close to it. Ok that one was a stretch, but I think I would've won an award. Don't have an answer for all this.I've been at this since 2004 and from my own experience it has been very difficult for me to just age out of the hobby or slowly stop doing what I'm doing. At this point it takes a support group to help and I tried that for a year but got tired of hearing the same old stories and decided to bow out of the group. I've been able to convince myself that being 71 with a very active drive I might as well use it since I'm in the last 1/4 of my life and what do I have to lose at this point. I wish I could stop but unfortunately my needs are too strong to let go.
Blazingblue
02-21-25, 17:58
WOW!! I didn't know there were people going through what I'm going through. My SO is my best friend and has been for decades! But the lack of sex in the bedroom Has put me here. It's maybe two positions and that's all. I to started with just L1 and slowly creeped to L2 and felt horrible!! But I'm always chasing the pussy with my SO ad I'm tired of it. I've talked with her about it but nothing happens. Then I started L3 and so on and just like you guys I kinda like the variety. At the same time I'm thinking bro!! You're crazy!! All of what you have could vanish if you get caught!! You really want to start over at your age?? Not sure what to do. I've always said this is it I'm out!! But come right back again in a few weeks. Pussy is strong my brothers. It's the driving force.If your SO isn't interested in giving you sex anymore in the bedroom, even after you've made it apparent your interested in a lot of sex, they are selfish. They want to be in an exclusive relationship with you and not let you have sex with anyone else, but don't want to give you sex either is pretty psychologically manipulative. The purpose of being in an exclusive relationship is so that you don't have to turn to other people for sex. Otherwise you can just be friends. There no different than your homies LOL. That lack of interest is a sign that they aren't attracted to you and you should bounce LOL, and find someone that is willing to drop their panties for you.
IrwinFletcher1
02-22-25, 10:04
If your SO isn't interested in giving you sex anymore in the bedroom, even after you've made it apparent your interested in a lot of sex, they are selfish. They want to be in an exclusive relationship with you and not let you have sex with anyone else, but don't want to give you sex either is pretty psychologically manipulative. The purpose of being in an exclusive relationship is so that you don't have to turn to other people for sex. Otherwise you can just be friends. There no different than your homies LOL. That lack of interest is a sign that they aren't attracted to you and you should bounce LOL, and find someone that is willing to drop their panties for you.While I agree with you on some of this. It also has to do with the SO age. Women go through the change and it makes their lives miserable as well as ours. And that change can last for many years. I've tried to help in the past and that went over like a brick to the head. Soooo here I am. We will see what plays out. From reading all of this I'm sure most guys on here know what I'm and she are going through.
StyleNProfile
03-17-25, 23:20
Do you guys think the girls who work the AMPs like Milk, MY, Tokyo, etc are trafficked? As in working against their free will?
It doesn't seem like they are to me but idk for sure. I think it's a tough gig with the hours they work and amount of guys they see, but the girls seem to know what they're in for and are okay with it because they make a lot of money.
In the past I have also had girls tell me during lean times (like the Milk bust or when the new FL laws passed) that girls didn't want to come here and work because of LEO. Which would imply that they have a choice about it.
Curious to know everyone's thoughts though. PM is fine too if you're more comfortable that way.
Do you guys think the girls who work the AMPs like Milk, MY, Tokyo, etc are trafficked? As in working against their free will?
It doesn't seem like they are to me but idk for sure. I think it's a tough gig with the hours they work and amount of guys they see, but the girls seem to know what they're in for and are okay with it because they make a lot of money.
In the past I have also had girls tell me during lean times (like the Milk bust or when the new FL laws passed) that girls didn't want to come here and work because of LEO. Which would imply that they have a choice about it.
Curious to know everyone's thoughts though. PM is fine too if you're more comfortable that way.I talk to all the ones I see and they do this by choice and can come and go as they please. No one is forcing them.
Blazingblue
03-21-25, 17:27
While I agree with you on some of this. It also has to do with the SO age. Women go through the change and it makes their lives miserable as well as ours. And that change can last for many years. I've tried to help in the past and that went over like a brick to the head. Soooo here I am. We will see what plays out. From reading all of this I'm sure most guys on here know what I'm and she are going through.You are better off getting a divorce and be a bachelor. If you aren't getting any sex out of it, you might as well dump the broad and not have to worry about sneaking around anymore. It'll save you a lot of money, and on top of that less headache. Hell if you tell her you want to divorce her for not having sex with you and sticking to those vows you had at marriage, that actually might make her wet. You got to have a backbone and tell her you won't tolerate it anymore, otherwise you will be looked at the bad guy if you ever get frustrated in the relationship. Word of advice man, just do it, guys are better off not marrying in 2025, since we all know these hoes ain't loyal not even in the bedroom.
Blazingblue
03-21-25, 17:31
While I agree with you on some of this. It also has to do with the SO age. Women go through the change and it makes their lives miserable as well as ours. And that change can last for many years. I've tried to help in the past and that went over like a brick to the head. Soooo here I am. We will see what plays out. From reading all of this I'm sure most guys on here know what I'm and she are going through.There are plenty of 60 yr old women that are horny don't make excuses for her. Why does she get excited about other things, but no longer gets excited about you? Also you make a great point, why be with someone getting older whose just going to get worse with age and give you zero sex, when you can be with someone younger who is willing to have sex with you 5-6 times a day. Its a no brainer man. Do yourself a solid and bounce. Unless she's the breadwinner, You did way too much as a man in the relationship, to be dealt that hand.
IrwinFletcher1
03-22-25, 09:40
There are plenty of 60 yr old women that are horny don't make excuses for her. Why does she get excited about other things, but no longer gets excited about you? Also you make a great point, why be with someone getting older whose just going to get worse with age and give you zero sex, when you can be with someone younger who is willing to have sex with you 5-6 times a day. Its a no brainer man. Do yourself a solid and bounce. Unless she's the breadwinner, You did way too much as a man in the relationship, to be dealt that hand.Thanks for the advice. I have contemplated that way. But I have over 3 decades invested with us. It cuts both ways in the vows. But again why am I saying vows when I'm dipping out. There's a lot more involved in all this. Responsibilities in the marriage. What I know is there is no easy answer. And you're right about todays relationships, don't get married. They only want what you can provide them. Thank you.
Blazingblue
03-22-25, 23:59
Thanks for the advice. I have contemplated that way. But I have over 3 decades invested with us. It cuts both ways in the vows. But again why am I saying vows when I'm dipping out. There's a lot more involved in all this. Responsibilities in the marriage. What I know is there is no easy answer. And you're right about todays relationships, don't get married. They only want what you can provide them. Thank you.You would think 3 decades of marriage means something to a girl but it doesn't, if anything she should be more in love with you based on the time why'all spent with each other. But sadly, that's how things work, attraction falls off and so does interest. And holding 3 decades of things that tie you together isn't worth keeping if she doesn't want to honor the literal most fundamental point of being in an exclusive relationship which is sex with your partner. Other than that I don't see the point in being in a relationship unless you want to have kids with someone. And even then its not worth it. She's having her cake and eating it too. She's making you provide for all her securities and benefits, and in return you get nothing out of it. She's manipulating you and the only reason your holding on to this relationship is because of some fond memories why'all made together which mean nothing now. Because I'm willing to bet a women that is not interested in sex with you anymore is probably also disrespecting you and starting fights with you as well. Which to me means she doesn't think highly of you. I would definitely say dip out now, so you can save face and be the one that leaves vs her and that way you can start all over again without dealing with a heavy loss. But make sure you have your financial situation in order during the split and things lined up. Otherwise if she decides to divorce you first out of no where, you will be the one in trouble. If there's no kids involved, its easier to do, if not I would still push for it, because its the last card you can play. Trust me, I know so many guys in your situation, and it always ends badly for them.
I don't pretend to be able to give any one advice without knowing the impossible answer that only you really know. Your situation as every other persons situation is different.
I can't pretend to think that sex is the only driver of a 30 year relationship. So many things come into play.
I will tell you if you plan to leave consult an attorney. If you plan to stay possibly go to counseling or create a plan for what you can live with for your own personal needs going forward that will work. Unfortunately living in the us we all have the same struggles in relationships.
You would think 3 decades of marriage means something to a girl but it doesn't, if anything she should be more in love with you based on the time why'all spent with each other. But sadly, that's how things work, attraction falls off and so does interest. And holding 3 decades of things that tie you together isn't worth keeping if she doesn't want to honor the literal most fundamental point of being in an exclusive relationship which is sex with your partner. Other than that I don't see the point in being in a relationship unless you want to have kids with someone. And even then its not worth it. She's having her cake and eating it too. She's making you provide for all her securities and benefits, and in return you get nothing out of it. She's manipulating you and the only reason your holding on to this relationship is because of some fond memories why'all made together which mean nothing now. Because I'm willing to bet a women that is not interested in sex with you anymore is probably also disrespecting you and starting fights with you as well. Which to me means she doesn't think highly of you. I would definitely say dip out now, so you can save face and be the one that leaves vs her and that way you can start all over again without dealing with a heavy loss. But make sure you have your financial situation in order during the split and things lined up. Otherwise if she decides to divorce you first out of no where, you will be the one in trouble. If there's no kids involved, its easier to do, if not I would still push for it, because its the last card you can play. Trust me, I know so many guys in your situation, and it always ends badly for them.
Midnightpass
03-24-25, 15:14
Thanks for the advice. I have contemplated that way. But I have over 3 decades invested with us. It cuts both ways in the vows. But again why am I saying vows when I'm dipping out. There's a lot more involved in all this. Responsibilities in the marriage. What I know is there is no easy answer. And you're right about today's relationships, don't get married. They only want what you can provide them. Thank you.I remember thinking "I'm just not miserable enough to leave." If you ever catch yourself saying that, you are. Believe me.
38 years of marriage, 42 together and when we split up 6 years ago, I have yet to shed a tear. And we had it good, too.
I am trying to stop completely. I often find myself riding around OBT just to "kill time" maybe in reality I'm looking for that one special girl that will break my abstinence. Also found myself paying girls just to talk to me or up until recently have stopped going to strip clubs. I want to stop but the urge is so strong. I recently also deleted any and all girls I was paying but now k just feel so lonely. It's like I knew damn these girls don't like me they just want money and I kinda power trip over being able to get them to talk to me with it. I stopped going thru with getting bbbjs because someone gave me a special surprise that the doctor had to take away and I just have been to scared to do it again to be honest. Maybe for me the risk of going thru with it then worrying if I have something is just not worth it to me. Even tho I know from experience or maybe I was just lucky I've been doing this for years and never got anything. For me the risk is to great. Not to mention I feel like a loser when I do it. Also I tried some SAA meetings and that doesn’t really help me. Maybe I make a few friends but I always end up “relapsing “. I guess I’m not so sure it’s an addiction like alchohol or something drugs maybe. To me I don’t see it as the same. But hey maybe it is. Maybe I will give it a shot again cause my self esteem is so low.
Blazingblue
03-25-25, 02:25
I don't pretend to be able to give any one advice without knowing the impossible answer that only you really know. Your situation as every other persons situation is different.
I can't pretend to think that sex is the only driver of a 30 year relationship. So many things come into play.
I will tell you if you plan to leave consult an attorney. If you plan to stay possibly go to counseling or create a plan for what you can live with for your own personal needs going forward that will work. Unfortunately living in the us we all have the same struggles in relationships.Biologically it is the main driving factor that keeps a relationship strong. It's obviously not the only one. But ask any happy old couple, they all say the same thing, if the sex is good so is the relationship. If the couple isn't having sex anymore the relationship is going south. Regardless of all the other factors, biologically we are driven by attraction, sex, raising children, and security. That's it. Minus the children, if we can achieve the other things the other person will be continually be attracted to the opposite sex. Regardless if you know someone's situation or not, male and female social dynamics have been the same for thousands of years. We all tend to behave the same way, that's why we've been studied so easily. Regardless of whatever circumstance or situation your in, it is important to be in control of your own life, and not let someone else take agency over it. If you let your wife run the shots aka no sex, and you get blue balled for the rest of your life because why'all "have bonded shared memories" together, then you are a slave in the relationship, because you are not getting your biological needs met in this equation where as she is.
And for him to be okay with her not interested in having sex with him anymore is just coping. Hence why he is on this website. He doesn't agree with her behavior and is here to get his needs met. Clear display of cognitive dissonance. So it is not okay to be content with this 30 yr relationship, because it is a sham, and he needs to get out of it for his own good. Ultimately its his decision to make, I can't force him, but I think he already knows the answer. And I do not think counseling is a good idea for couples. It does nothing for the male in the relationship except make the situation worse. The counselor ends up making stupid suggestions that don't provide any benefit. And it just ends up showing to your significant other that you don't have any control in the relationship and that's super unattractive. Open communication and understanding is all you need in a relationship. Just grow some balls and take to the significant other, a 3rd party person doesn't need to be involved. 2 grown adults can solve their own problems, otherwise they shouldn't get married.
Also I don't think everyone has the same struggles when it comes to relationships, only those that never set boundaries and discussed expectations with their significant other do. For instance, if he said to his wife, before marrying her or showing her that ring, "I don't believe in a sexless marriage, and I expect you to continue having sex with me, and if you decide your not interested anymore were getting a divorce". She will always have that in the back of her mind. And might not even challenge it, but if she does try him, she knows the consequences. But now that he's never mentioned that from the get go, she has no boundary to go off of, and she can do whatever the fuck she wants and if he gets pissed, oh well what's he going to do, she's got her vibrator.
If you are in a relationship and you are lying and mongering, you aren't a good person. I know most mongers are in relationships, it's sick. And most of you also talk about, "well, I need sex" yea but you can't get it without paying, pathetic. Also saying these girls enjoy it there's no way they are trafficked is ridiculous, most of you are also fat and ugly af which is why you have to pay for sex and you think these attractive women really want to touch you? LOL it's wild how some of you process things in your warped brains. If you are in a relationship and aren't happy leave, be an actual man. That's just my 2 cents, man up, if you aren't happy leave, stop going behind your so backs and being a coward a sad coward that is too lonely to leave their so but to weak and not disciplined to stop cheating. Losers.
JhandySpecial
04-19-25, 01:20
If you are in a relationship and you are lying and mongering, you aren't a good person. I know most mongers are in relationships, it's sick. And most of you also talk about, "well, I need sex" yea but you can't get it without paying, pathetic. Also saying these girls enjoy it there's no way they are trafficked is ridiculous, most of you are also fat and ugly af which is why you have to pay for sex and you think these attractive women really want to touch you? LOL it's wild how some of you process things in your warped brains. If you are in a relationship and aren't happy leave, be an actual man. That's just my 2 cents, man up, if you aren't happy leave, stop going behind your so backs and being a coward a sad coward that is too lonely to leave their so but to weak and not disciplined to stop cheating. Losers.This man speaks the truth. When I was in a relationship, I had to stop mongering because it just was not fair to the other person and hes right. These girls will give you the GFE because they love your money, not you. If you don't mind throwing your money away for a short session, go ahead but just know that its all fake. These girls are very good actors because they've been doing it for a very long time and have come across many versions of yourself so they know how to cater to you and get your ego off. Most of their pops are also fake, these girls are with 15-20 guys a day and they aren't wet from you, they are wet from the vibrating sex lube that they use. You have to think about it, after 3 to 4 pops, the average girl is worn out and needs rest / sleep, not 30 seconds rest before another monger walks in. Save your money bros, spend it on the right one, not the right one that is with everyone. If she gave you her digits, she also gave it out to the other high paying mongers and trust me, there are a lot of them. Its a reality check most mongers don't think about. You aren't special, you are just another high paying monger like the rest of us.
Try the 3 step approach, monger twice a week, then once a week, then try and skip a weekend and spend your money on someone who needs support. Like buy a co-worker or a friend or a neighbor a publix gift card with the money you would spend mongering. The joy you will get from seeing someone genuinely recieve a gift for nothing in return will turn your world upside down. Once you start to spend your monger money on positive things, you will start to be able to break the cycle. I hope you can turn your lives around. The last thing you want to do is be mongering when uncle LEO shows up. I would imagine that is the lowest point of anyone's life. Best of luck fellow mongers, I believe in you.
JhandySpecial
04-19-25, 01:48
I am trying to stop completely. I often find myself riding around OBT just to "kill time" maybe in reality I'm looking for that one special girl that will break my abstinence. Also found myself paying girls just to talk to me or up until recently have stopped going to strip clubs. I want to stop but the urge is so strong. I recently also deleted any and all girls I was paying but now k just feel so lonely. It's like I knew damn these girls don't like me they just want money and I kinda power trip over being able to get them to talk to me with it. I stopped going thru with getting bbbjs because someone gave me a special surprise that the doctor had to take away and I just have been to scared to do it again to be honest. Maybe for me the risk of going thru with it then worrying if I have something is just not worth it to me. Even tho I know from experience or maybe I was just lucky I've been doing this for years and never got anything. For me the risk is to great. Not to mention I feel like a loser when I do it. Also I tried some SAA meetings and that doesnt really help me. Maybe I make a few friends but I always end up relapsing . I guess Im not so sure its an addiction like alchohol or something drugs maybe. To me I dont see it as the same. But hey maybe it is. Maybe I will give it a shot again cause my self esteem is so low.You've already did the best thing you could by deleting those phone numbers. I am not sure if anyone has said this, but I am very proud of you. I really am. Feeling lonely is just a sign that you are doing the right thing. Remember, there must be darkness before the light can shine. Life goes on and if you have the time to drive around to kill time, you should look into facebook groups that meet any type of interest you have. Chances are you will find 1 or 2 friends out of the countless groups and your life will change. Anytime you are feeling lonely, just remember you are not alone and there are many of us on the same path as you. Even those people who live good lives with lots of friends and family will be lonely after they outlive everyone. I found that volunteering to help those who are in need is a big help to changing my mindset. It hasn't completely fixed me, but I hope it will one day and I am optimistic that it can help you too. Just remember to never give up, you got this. I am rooting for you.
Blazingblue
04-21-25, 00:01
You've already did the best thing you could by deleting those phone numbers. I am not sure if anyone has said this, but I am very proud of you. I really am. Feeling lonely is just a sign that you are doing the right thing. Remember, there must be darkness before the light can shine. Life goes on and if you have the time to drive around to kill time, you should look into facebook groups that meet any type of interest you have. Chances are you will find 1 or 2 friends out of the countless groups and your life will change. Anytime you are feeling lonely, just remember you are not alone and there are many of us on the same path as you. Even those people who live good lives with lots of friends and family will be lonely after they outlive everyone. I found that volunteering to help those who are in need is a big help to changing my mindset. It hasn't completely fixed me, but I hope it will one day and I am optimistic that it can help you too. Just remember to never give up, you got this. I am rooting for you.If you want to drop this all together, you have to be able to actually meet girls in the wild that are interested in dating you. Unless you are already in a relationship. You should actively be working on yourself and meeting new people. It helps keep you social and alive. Hibernating in your household and not talking to anyone causes depression. You should be trying to meet girls naturally in settings that are not sex provocative. Join a club, volunteer, etc. You'll find people naturally that way. If you can link up with a girl the normal way and actually mesh with her, you'll find this hobby not as appealing. Since the reciprocation of affection will be real. And you won't need to look elsewhere to fill that empty void in yourself. I'm sure you are only doing this, because you have not worked on proper social skills when you were younger to engage with girls and be able to date them. So to compensate you are doing this hobby, that or you are in a sexless relationship, or in need of a release. If you have access to date girls the normal way I would do that instead. But at the end of the day, guys have to let off steam, and a lot of girls now a days play a lot of games, and we strike out from time to time. So this is a quick fix. It doesn't solve all our problems but helps with a release of stress in our day to day lives. And not to mention guys enjoy variety, we like seeing many girls, that's why we enjoy this hobby to begin with. But if you feel guilty about it, then I would just focus on improving yourself and putting yourself out there to meet people not form this hobby. Good luck with your efforts.
I also stopped the Looking and looking and focused on my job and health. But yes the sexual man drive is Strong. At my age I wish I could just quit.
But I see all these potential when I go to Walmart or any store and I Wonder in my mind (.is she available) referring to all the single female I bump into with small talk.
I don't want a full time lady. But what other options are there.
Good luck with your quest in life.
Remember.(if it feels nice, don't think twice).
If you want to drop this all together, you have to be able to actually meet girls in the wild that are interested in dating you. Unless you are already in a relationship. You should actively be working on yourself and meeting new people. It helps keep you social and alive. Hibernating in your household and not talking to anyone causes depression. You should be trying to meet girls naturally in settings that are not sex provocative. Join a club, volunteer, etc. You'll find people naturally that way. If you can link up with a girl the normal way and actually mesh with her, you'll find this hobby not as appealing. Since the reciprocation of affection will be real. And you won't need to look elsewhere to fill that empty void in yourself. I'm sure you are only doing this, because you have not worked on proper social skills when you were younger to engage with girls and be able to date them. So to compensate you are doing this hobby, that or you are in a sexless relationship, or in need of a release. If you have access to date girls the normal way I would do that instead. But at the end of the day, guys have to let off steam, and a lot of girls now a days play a lot of games, and we strike out from time to time. So this is a quick fix. It doesn't solve all our problems but helps with a release of stress in our day to day lives. And not to mention guys enjoy variety, we like seeing many girls, that's why we enjoy this hobby to begin with. But if you feel guilty about it, then I would just focus on improving yourself and putting yourself out there to meet people not form this hobby. Good luck with your efforts.
So you said it all right there. You don't want a full time lady. But most gals who are non providers are always trying to be full time gals.
Men want sex and peace.
Women want many things, alot of the time it is money, drama, all your time and sometimes sex!
Is is it a wonder we have issues in the world!
Just saying!
Mongering offers sex and to walk away for peace.
I also stopped the Looking and looking and focused on my job and health. But yes the sexual man drive is Strong. At my age I wish I could just quit.
But I see all these potential when I go to Walmart or any store and I Wonder in my mind (.is she available) referring to all the single female I bump into with small talk.
I don't want a full time lady. But what other options are there.
Good luck with your quest in life.
Remember.(if it feels nice, don't think twice).
PseudoRican
01-11-26, 17:08
So you said it all right there. You don't want a full time lady. But most gals who are non providers are always trying to be full time gals.
Men want sex and peace.
Women want many things, alot of the time it is money, drama, all your time and sometimes sex!
Is is it a wonder we have issues in the world!
Just saying!
Mongering offers sex and to walk away for peace.This 100%.
I'm in my 40's, was already married for more than a decade, and have kids. I don't want a new relationship or a SO. I work, co-parent with my ex-wife, we get along perfect like family, and from time to time go out for drinks with friends.
To me mongering is like when you want to go to your favorite food place that's a bit expensive just because you feel like it. I want to fuck a hot, pornstar looking lady with a nice ass and big tits and not worry about anything else. You see your favorite flavor, pick, pay and dine, that's it. Anybody that's looking to fill some relationship void with providers, is looking at the wrong place. It's a business transaction, nothing more.
As the great charlie harper said your not paying for sex, your paying them to leave.
This 100%.
I'm in my 40's, was already married for more than a decade, and have kids. I don't want a new relationship or a SO. I work, co-parent with my ex-wife, we get along perfect like family, and from time to time go out for drinks with friends.
To me mongering is like when you want to go to your favorite food place that's a bit expensive just because you feel like it. I want to fuck a hot, pornstar looking lady with a nice ass and big tits and not worry about anything else. You see your favorite flavor, pick, pay and dine, that's it. Anybody that's looking to fill some relationship void with providers, is looking at the wrong place. It's a business transaction, nothing more.
DingusConrad
03-12-26, 17:13
I get tested annually for STDs, but I requested a screening after a trip abroad. Came back HSV2 positive, but asymptomatic. It was the first time they tested for it too, so I could have been positive for years now and not realized it. I looked it up and apparently it's generally recommended not to test for HSV unless the person is showing symptoms and requests a screen. So, there's most likely a large population of people like me that even despite being tested are carrying and spreading herpes without realizing it. Isn't that insane? Anyway, I wouldn't want to spread this around so I'm hanging up the hat.
I get tested annually for STDs, but I requested a screening after a trip abroad. Came back HSV2 positive, but asymptomatic. It was the first time they tested for it too, so I could have been positive for years now and not realized it. I looked it up and apparently it's generally recommended not to test for HSV unless the person is showing symptoms and requests a screen. So, there's most likely a large population of people like me that even despite being tested are carrying and spreading herpes without realizing it. Isn't that insane? Anyway, I wouldn't want to spread this around so I'm hanging up the hat.Did you go to a health care provider to get tested? Was it a blood test? The reason why they do not recommend getting tested for HSV without any symptoms, is due to the high rates of false positives. I would contact your health care provider for their recommendation.
RP.
Did you go to a health care provider to get tested? Was it a blood test? The reason why they do not recommend getting tested for HSV without any symptoms, is due to the high rates of false positives. I would contact your health care provider for their recommendation.
RP.100% agree. I took a test about 2 years ago and tested positive for hsv2, but never since. I do have hsv1, and on that 1 test that came back positive for hsv2 I was negative for hsv1. Best I can deduce is they crossed the results between the 2 tests. I would definitely not take the 1 positive test as gospel.
DingusConrad
03-13-26, 13:15
100% agree. I took a test about 2 years ago and tested positive for hsv2, but never since. I do have hsv1, and on that 1 test that came back positive for hsv2 I was negative for hsv1. Best I can deduce is they crossed the results between the 2 tests. I would definitely not take the 1 positive test as gospel.Appreciate the advice but the new tests are supposedly pretty accurate at differentiating between the two, and I came back positive for 2 and not 1. It could always be a false positive and I could request a second screening, but regardless currently policy being a general recommendation not to test for either is still bad. If I had simply relied on my routine exams I'd never have found out since I've never shown any sort of symptoms. And that's most likely the case for a lot of people out there, and probably plenty on here as well. Be careful out there fellas.
DingusConrad
03-13-26, 13:25
Did you go to a health care provider to get tested? Was it a blood test? The reason why they do not recommend getting tested for HSV without any symptoms, is due to the high rates of false positives. I would contact your health care provider for their recommendation..It was a blood test from my health care provider. There's a possibility of a false positive and I'll most likely request another test, but these are supposed to be pretty accurate.
I was doing lots of research and the numbers are pretty staggering, I mean 1 in 2 black girls are carrying and don't realize it. That's probably how it happened. But the majority never have any symptoms or symptoms are so mild they're basically unnoticeable. And you can get infected through condoms, on practically any part of your body. Soke poor guys out there with itchy fingers can attest. I'll be getting on anti virals through my health insurance to reduce the risk of spreading as much as possible, but the wisest thing to do is to call it quits.
It was a blood test from my health care provider. There's a possibility of a false positive and I'll most likely request another test, but these are supposed to be pretty accurate.
I was doing lots of research and the numbers are pretty staggering, I mean 1 in 2 black girls are carrying and don't realize it. That's probably how it happened. But the majority never have any symptoms or symptoms are so mild they're basically unnoticeable. And you can get infected through condoms, on practically any part of your body. Soke poor guys out there with itchy fingers can attest. I'll be getting on anti virals through my health insurance to reduce the risk of spreading as much as possible, but the wisest thing to do is to call it quits.Routine HSV testing is not recommended if you have no symptoms, as blood tests can produce inaccurate results. If you are at high risk to exposure, then you may consider testing every 6 to 12 months. Most will use the standard ELISA testing due to speed and cost effectiveness. The Western Blot is far more accurate, but far more expensive. The most accurate is when you have symptoms. They can then do the swab test. As always, please consult with your health care provider. They will have the most accurate and up to date recommendations for you.
RP.
This man speaks the truth. When I was in a relationship, I had to stop mongering because it just was not fair to the other person and hes right. These girls will give you the GFE because they love your money, not you. If you don't mind throwing your money away for a short session, go ahead but just know that its all fake. These girls are very good actors because they've been doing it for a very long time and have come across many versions of yourself so they know how to cater to you and get your ego off. Most of their pops are also fake, these girls are with 15-20 guys a day and they aren't wet from you, they are wet from the vibrating sex lube that they use. You have to think about it, after 3 to 4 pops, the average girl is worn out and needs rest / sleep, not 30 seconds rest before another monger walks in. Save your money bros, spend it on the right one, not the right one that is with everyone. If she gave you her digits, she also gave it out to the other high paying mongers and trust me, there are a lot of them. Its a reality check most mongers don't think about. You aren't special, you are just another high paying monger like the rest of us.
Try the 3 step approach, monger twice a week, then once a week, then try and skip a weekend and spend your money on someone who needs support. Like buy a co-worker or a friend or a neighbor a publix gift card with the money you would spend mongering. The joy you will get from seeing someone genuinely recieve a gift for nothing in return will turn your world upside down. Once you start to spend your monger money on positive things, you will start to be able to break the cycle. I hope you can turn your lives around. The last thing you want to do is be mongering when uncle LEO shows up. I would imagine that is the lowest point of anyone's life. Best of luck fellow mongers, I believe in you.I personally know I'm addicted and want to quit but I always end up going right back. It's been a decent way to temporarily patch up the loneliness and boredom in my life but after 7 years of doing this it's lost a lot of its luster and I'm thinking of finding other things to do with my time. At this point, living like a monk feels better than continuing with this routine.
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