View Full Version : Funding the hobby
I'm sure a lot of you are in the same boat. My wife and I share finances and are on a budget but obviously I want to indulge in the hobby. Any tips / methods to hide or camouflage your spending? I've utilized the Costco return policy that if you ask, they will give cash back for a return. I've had good luck selling things online to fund my hobby, wife doesn't pay much attention. Anyone else have a good under the radar method? Please refrain from the "don't be a ***** just spend your money". I know a lot of you are the same, can't pull $$$ to $$ a month with no reason. Thanks in advance.
I'm sure a lot of you are in the same boat. My wife and I share finances and are on a budget but obviously I want to indulge in the hobby. Any tips / methods to hide or camouflage your spending? I've utilized the Costco return policy that if you ask, they will give cash back for a return. I've had good luck selling things online to fund my hobby, wife doesn't pay much attention. Anyone else have a good under the radar method? Please refrain from the "don't be a ***** just spend your money". I know a lot of you are the same, can't pull $$$ to $$ a month with no reason. Thanks in advance.Your wife seems pretty involved with the finances so that definitely works to your detriment. As least from the paid BJ standpoint.
The easy method. Take out cash for whatever usual needs are. From that take $10, $20, $50, here and there and stick it in a BJ drawer every once in a while. Probably won't notice if you took $20 out every once a while for future BJs or if you bought some beers at happy hour. If you are budgeting quite a bit. Perhaps it's time to sacrifice that $20 a week beer money and just stuff it into the BJ drawer.
My other philosophy.
I have the belief is that if you keep your money at a very easily accessible bank that's around every other corner, you can very easily access your savings and spend it. So take your savings and stuff it somewhere you can can't get money out easily. Stick it into an online only bank or a brokerage account where it's hard to get out. About the only way to get money out is an ACH transfer or an ATM withdrawal with hefty fees. I've used this philosophy for years to regularly transfer money out of joint accounts into difficult to access individual accounts to save money.
Every 2 weeks there's an auto transfer of money from joint accounts at Bank A to individual accounts at Bank B. This money mainly has legit purposes. Think new roof, buy stocks and bitcoin, or pay for a medical procedure, get laid off, that's the individual savings account I go to. Need a blowjob? I'll transfer from the same individual savings account into another individual account at Bank B and then ATM it out. I do review the balances with her usually through a phone app once in a long while, but or on the computer (remember, there are no mail statements), but never less these outflows for BJs are small and obscure. The point of this story is, if she trusts you to handle the money, just transfer it out of her view.
The last thing I will stress, the amount I spent on paid BJs and what not is not that significant. Money to retire retirement is important to me.
I'm sure a lot of you are in the same boat. My wife and I share finances and are on a budget but obviously I want to indulge in the hobby. Any tips / methods to hide or camouflage your spending? I've utilized the Costco return policy that if you ask, they will give cash back for a return. I've had good luck selling things online to fund my hobby, wife doesn't pay much attention. Anyone else have a good under the radar method? Please refrain from the "don't be a ***** just spend your money". I know a lot of you are the same, can't pull $$$ to $$ a month with no reason. Thanks in advance.This is very cumbersome and risky, but it might work. I would continue to save up to open up a secret checking account. Right before your next raise, ask your payroll person to send $XX amount to the secret saving account per pay period.
Make sure to have everything paperless. This method will only work if your wife doesn't have access to your paystubs showing where funds are deposited.
Smokey Gringo
12-06-23, 15:02
It could work as camouflage but donate plasma. They load a debit card with no mailing so it'll be hidden funds and she'll never know the balance. You can donate twice a week. Most pay $100 a pop a donation for the first month so $200 a week, $800-1000 a month. Now if she gets suspicious donate once a month and say it's "blood" which they don't pay for, so she won't check on money. Ties in well for the needle mark too.
Added bonus, you are getting an STD check for free every visit. But if you pop up on their viral marker you're done donating there and anywhere because they nationally database with all blood / plasma clinics. Still private though.
Bjcim Seeker
11-04-25, 15:22
When married (now divorced) my company switched to high deductible and I set up HSA. My wife didn't know about it. I paid medical bills out of our joint bank account and would take cash out of my HSA for the hobby. She didn't review our tax return so she never saw the HSA form.
Another way is to use ATM at the grocery store (Kroger). It asks if I want additional cash back. It will just show as Kroger on bank statement.
This is very cumbersome and risky, but it might work. I would continue to save up to open up a secret checking account. Right before your next raise, ask your payroll person to send $XX amount to the secret saving account per pay period.
Make sure to have everything paperless. This method will only work if your wife doesn't have access to your paystubs showing where funds are deposited.ETRADE has a cash account with a debit card that you can use for hotels, CashApp, PayPal, and ATMs. Tell your wife you want to buy some stock. Most company payrolls also allow multiple direct deposits, so deposit 95% to the home checking, and 5% to ETRADE. If wife notices a drop in pay, say that you bumped up your 401 (k) allocation.
When married (now divorced) my company switched to high deductible and I set up HSA. My wife didn't know about it. I paid medical bills out of our joint bank account and would take cash out of my HSA for the hobby. She didn't review our tax return so she never saw the HSA form.
Another way is to use ATM at the grocery store (Kroger). It asks if I want additional cash back. It will just show as Kroger on bank statement.Note that using Kroger or Convenience Stores as ATMs only works if you're using a DEBIT card, not a credit card. It is a great method to collect discreet cash!
It could work as camouflage but donate plasma. They load a debit card with no mailing so it'll be hidden funds and she'll never know the balance. You can donate twice a week. Most pay $100 a pop a donation for the first month so $200 a week, $800-1000 a month. Now if she gets suspicious donate once a month and say it's "blood" which they don't pay for, so she won't check on money. Ties in well for the needle mark too.
Added bonus, you are getting an STD check for free every visit. But if you pop up on their viral marker you're done donating there and anywhere because they nationally database with all blood / plasma clinics. Still private though.I joined a medical research study out of town. I drive to the facility every couple of months and they pay me $150 a visit plus mileage, goes on a Debit Card. I just have to take a cholesterol pill daily and they do blood work every visit, takes 1/2 hour.
This is very cumbersome and risky, but it might work. I would continue to save up to open up a secret checking account. Right before your next raise, ask your payroll person to send $XX amount to the secret saving account per pay period.
Make sure to have everything paperless. This method will only work if your wife doesn't have access to your paystubs showing where funds are deposited.Just be careful with "secret accounts". I had one of these and when we refinanced our house, the agent printed out our credit report for us to review. Well FUCK there was my "secret account". I had to scramble and say it was just something my company setup for expense accounts. She never questioned it.
If she is trusting enough, I like the ETRADE account option, as long as she isn't nosy enough to want to login and poke around. 2 FA is a blessing with these paperless accounts, because even if she was able to guess your password, she won't have the cellphone code to login.
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