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[QUOTE=Civ2000]Happy New Year All (even you Psyberzombie). Civ2000[/QUOTE]
Thanks for that great post Civ2000 - it really sounded familiar.
To my significant other,
Sorry that you will never-ever be able to read this letter. It is a cry-out for help. Last night I went out on the streets again. I did the deed for one reason, for the thrill, not because I think that they are better looking then you, but because of the danger involved.
After i got done with the session, this sense of guilty overwhelmed me and i felt ashamed and felt bad for myself for the low life that I am. All throughout my lifetime my parents taught me to have morals, it appears that this addiction has kicked that hard work out the window.
It is not fair to you that I cheat on you, but I can't stop, and as it appears, I don't want to stop because i keep posting on here. It is really a shame that you will never be really able to get to know everything about me, for that I am sorry.
Each one of us has a secret that is deep and profound. If everyone knew everything about us, then what would I have for myself. ?
-007
That's pretty rough Z3. I saw from a post that I followed from a photo that you were trying to quit this in 06. I decided to do the same but left the door open a crack. Haven't failed yet, but took a stroll down one of Denvers SW spots Yesterday. Was thinking I would just see skanks and re-inforce my decision. I saw one young hottie giving a car the look, so I had to swing around and see if she was for real. It was quite a bit north of the usual area. She was gone by the time I got around the block, so she either got picked up as a SW, went into a building, or got picked up by a friend/bus, whatever. I don't think I would have done anything more than the Pickup, LE check, and just a future callback if she was there, because I really had to be somewhere and had no cash. But, I cussed myself a bit for breaking down so soon.
I am trying to limit my street activities to specific targets that have been posted as something I don't want to miss. But, that's probably not too smart either, because the last time I did that I was out a month, a few addicts and skanks later, I finally got to my target. Good Luck to all who made a resolution. Robo.
I read a lot of the reports with interest. I have been in the hobby for 10 years. Most of my experiences have been with agencies. I had luck with a few sw in mass and in fl. I find the agencies girls, though expensive, very young and beautiful. I agree with one of the posters that the thrill of being with an 18 year old girl and to believe for a few minutes that she wants to make love to you is quite a thrill. I only feel guilty if the girl turns out to be a dog. I try to keep it to $250 per time and maybe 2 a month. I have a few regulars now too in Boston and NYC. I've actually taken one of my regulars and her daughter to Disney World. My wife hates to have sex. So for me it's the companionship as well as the sexual release.
Edited
Jan 19 2006
completely unbelievable, the guilt that drips though this site is pathetic. if you do the deeds, then why be guilty. guilt is a culturally imposed emotion to keep you with in the accepted norms of a society. you have been coopted by the society of feminists and politically correct socialogist to believe you are wrong and should feel guilty because you have hormones and are doing what is natural to your manhood.
let the guilt go. go out and monger or dont. but dont let the "guilt" beat you down.
oh one other thing,,,,,,,, miracles,,,,, THE ONLY MIRACLES IVE SEEN LATELY IS ON GROCERY STORE SHELVES, MIRACLE WHIP.
Smiling Fox
I have to admit-- I am an addict. I know it. Shit, you would HOPE z3 would know it too. He posts all over this board for all kinds of stuff. Many good posts too! (esp in the Dallas area!)
That last post of his was kinda pathetic that I hope he either; 1) takes control of his addiction and STOPS POSTING AND MONGERING (cause you can't have it both ways), or 2) realizes he has a disease and limits the damage it is doing (either financially or physically).
Posting sad and mournful posts is not a road to a cure.
Hope he stops suffering.
That last post was not meant as a slam to him.
I suppose a little self-destructive behavior is acceptable, but if you are suffering SO MUCH from your mongering, drinking, gambling, lying, etc., then professional help is probably a good idea.
He is a great poster and I meant no disrespect.
Shit--
z3 pulled the post I was referring to.
oh well. Denial is more than just a river in Egypt ya know!
Z3, Hey, Don't let some detractors drag you or this thread down. Most of us really enjoy what you have to say and it probably helps a lot more guys out than you think.
You are right where you need to be. In the book I mentioned a few posts back, it would describe the phase you're in as pre-recovery. It is as necessary to the recovery process as any other phase. When the pain of continuing the addiction becomes greater than the pain of quitting the addiction -- you will quit.
My suggestion would be to find a SAA meeting in your area. All you have to do is google sex addicts anonymous. Go to a couple and see if anything resonates with you. You've got nothing to lose. And then go from there. Dallas literally has five or six meetings a day. PM me and I'll even email you a schedule.
Good Luck! Civ2000
Thanks for the luv C2K.
Z3, I can advise you on your new year resolution. Go to hell, if you survive you will be cured.
Hook up with some brothels with some lineup. In your case the sleazier the better. If you are addicted on the convenience, you may lost the interest to cruise. Earn your stripes, and then the keepers will call you when they has good merchandise. For the quality and convenience, it's irresistible to turn them down. you will be very busy. You may have to pay more, but that's part of the plan.
Upgrade. Like good food, nice cars and nice house, it's pretty hard to go back on what you had before. You will soon find yourself living from pay check to pay check. The lack of cash will stop you from your activities. This is even more dangerous for those who have large credit limits and large home equities and considerable 401k's. You are really close to hell if you are so self-destructible as to spend all those.
Strike for perfection. If the provider is young, look for a good looking one, and vice versa. If she's all that, push for GFE, DFK, BBBJ, AR, anal, etc. And look for some deeper personal connections rather than one night stand. Take her to dinner dates, shopping and weekend escapes. This will deplete your asserts faster, and probably you will appreciate more and more what a real GF provides.
If you survive all that, you will be rich, or you will find a GF that give all that for free. If you don't survive, I'm happy to send you a holiday card.
[URL]http://www.break.com/index/springbreakbabes3.html[/URL]
[URL]http://www.break.com/index/springbreakbabes1.html[/URL]
[URL]http://www.break.com/index/springbreakbabes2.html[/URL]
.... and don't for·get to left·click on the video to enlarge the image
p.s. to James D 2004 =
I don't know what makes you tick , but , *boy!* , I hope it's a Time Bomb !!
[QUOTE=Smiling Fox]completely unbelievable, the guilt that drips though this site is pathetic. [/QUOTE]
There always has to be a douchebag like "Smiling Fox" to come and make an ignorant comment like this. Kind of like the crackhead that thinks they do nothing wrong or an alcoholic who thinks it is ok to continue drinking.
Shut up douchebag if you have nothing positive to offer other than your 8th grade perspective.