Massage Parlor Reports

Thread Starter

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along.

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing Neon signs with words like "massage", "bodyrub" or "fellatio barn". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know degenerates like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a handjob = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending, if I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a handjob (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied babysacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

HA!

[URL]http://shoals.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/a-r-t-o-f-d-e-l-i-v-e-r-y/17669449[/URL]

[QUOTE=TideLover;3310776][URL]http://shoals.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/a-r-t-o-f-d-e-l-i-v-e-r-y/17669449[/URL][/QUOTE]I tried many times contacting her, but she never answered back.

Has anyone got a reliable contact?

[QUOTE=Alamassage1;3934354]Has anyone got a reliable contact?[/QUOTE]I haven't had any luck.

Batting about 4 for 5. First time going nothing but teasing 2 3 x 5 time exactly what I was looking for.

[QUOTE=JayRock751;3937005]I haven't had any luck.[/QUOTE][URL]https://nashville.rubratings.com/143345[/URL]

This place is the best seriously.

[QUOTE=JmSmith7896;4462233]Batting about 4 for 5. First time going nothing but teasing 2 3 x 5 time exactly what I was looking for.[/QUOTE]Massage rates? How Much Tip? What are you looking for?

Be Safe,

NT.

[QUOTE=NeverTell;4531519]Massage rates? How Much Tip? What are you looking for?

Be Safe,

NT.[/QUOTE]30 min 50 tip whatever you think.

Release.

Just asking if anyone else has tried this place. I've been a few times, saw two different ladies. First time, was nothing but what I felt was a good massage. Saw a different girl the second trip, decent massage but a little more flirty, but nothing else on menu. Third time was the first gal again, more flirty this time, still a great massage and a little teasing, but no happy ending. A previous post said they had some luck. Was wondering which gal and if it was just a HJ happy ending or if anything else.

Any comments or advise.

Thanks.

There's a sign on the front door stating that the spa has been sold to new owners and is closed for renovation.

[QUOTE=TrammGr;4692114]There's a sign on the front door stating that the spa has been sold to new owners and is closed for renovation.[/QUOTE]I was over there a week or so ago. You never know about these things.

[QUOTE=TrammGr;4692114]There's a sign on the front door stating that the spa has been sold to new owners and is closed for renovation.[/QUOTE]Sign was on and someone going on—looked like it was back up and running.

[QUOTE=LocalGuy69;4694868]Sign was on and someone going onlooked like it was back up and running.[/QUOTE]Nope. The "Massage" sign is on, but the "Open" sign is still off and the note is still on the door.