Rants, Raves and Opinions AKA "The Octagon"

[QUOTE=IMAcrossdressingTVAskmeanything;5511408]Hey guys. This board has taught me a lot when it comes to various forms of mongering and I'll be forever grateful for the knowledge I've gained from all of you. That said, I'm trying to work on some personal aspects of my life, and if I'm being honest with myself, the hobby is a crutch that I need to learn to not rely on. Its prevented me from advancing my ability in pursuing and engaging non-working women. I shoot my shot, but I'm not hitting with the women I really want and that's pretty much always been the case. I'm pretty sure its more of a confidence thing, and overthinking, honestly, but that's not what I'm here for today. If possible, I'd really appreciate any tips in finding regular ladies. Where should I go and what should I be doing to be around them? Parks, gym, library, bar? If you got any good ideas I'm all ears, and I don't really want to hang out at the banks, but if I have to I will. Also, any general conversation tips, or how to engage in small talk? Tips on how to start those conversations with strangers and keep them going for a bit? I feel like when I was younger it was easier to just approach girls in different forms and basically tell them they're cute, be funny / weird for a bit then get their number. When I come across younger girls (21-25 ish) this is generally still pretty easy but I'm trying to go after more established women in their later 20's and early 30's. I've got a decent amount of shit going for me (job, car, house, reasonable appearance, etc.) but I really need to work on my social skills to be successful. More recently, I've been going to bars, etc., but I put down the heavier / more frequent drinking in the past and now I feel like I'm going to have to turn into an alcoholic or something if I have to hit the bars every night to socialize. Appreciate the help. As an aside, I am not my username. Thanks.[/QUOTE]I have a friend who's a white guy in his 40's. In good shape, a good job, the whole 9 yards. He's fared better with black chicks than he has with white chicks. He's found them to be more direct and less full of themselves than the single white women. He normally connects with them on Tinder, Bumble, and apps like that. So if you're white and willing to hit up black women on the dating apps, that could be one way to stay out of the bars.

[QUOTE=UOnlyLiveOnce;5512889]I have a friend who's a white guy in his 40's. In good shape, a good job, the whole 9 yards. He's fared better with black chicks than he has with white chicks. He's found them to be more direct and less full of themselves than the single white women. He normally connects with them on Tinder, Bumble, and apps like that. So if you're white and willing to hit up black women on the dating apps, that could be one way to stay out of the bars.[/QUOTE]This is just some more anecdotal, but I've heard from my black friends that black chicks act differently with white guys vs black guys in relationships, less aggressive, talk different, more feminine.

My experience with them has been limited to providers. Personally I couldn't seriously pursue a black woman and having children, though. And its not because of prejudice or not finding them attractive. Its because of the history of slavery and all the extra issues and mental baggage our kids would have to deal with. Who the fuck am I to bring another person into this world to wrestle with all that shit? It amazes me how some people won't give that a second thought, or a first one, and just 'follow their hearts' right off a cliff. Even if you do everything right bringing them up, there's going to be at least a few jaded relatives that are going to have oversized influence because of the blood relation. And those teenage years where they're going to rebel against you at least for a while, which will include at least some of what you've been trying to teach them. And then there's what the rest of the world around them is going to be trying to teach them that's a thousand times worse.

[QUOTE=PearishBA;5512425]Yea all the pickup artist stuff is BS, and that goes for most of what goes by 'red pill' as well. But when 'red pill' is being used to refer to how important parts of our evolutionary biology / psychology are being ignored or shamed by stupid ass social / cultural conventions, that's an area men need to pay attention to. Because they are increasingly being raised and portrayed as doormats. There's a reason opening a door helps to open a woman's legs, and it goes back to the evolved biological interdependency between men and women, how men protect and provide for women. And modern pampered societies have been trying to obliterate that by extending the political obsession with equality into every other sphere of life. Today's women want it both ways, party and play independent career woman until the last minute when they try to find a traditional guy to take care of them. And they end up raising the very idiots, usually in single parent households, that the next generation of women complain about. Ultimately its not sustainable, ever increasing govt welfare spending from shrinking tax bases, due to declining birthrates headed below replacement rate. And of those that are born, its more and more into broken families that just perpetuate the cycle.

As for "Letting it happen organically" Good god, if only I believed in a god. You know things are headed in the wrong direction when men have the luxury to talk and think like women. If modern times have proved anything, its that dating and putting women in charge of deciding who they marry has been a disaster. Romantic love needs to be removed as a pre-requisite for marriage. If it happens down the road consider yourselves lucky. We need to go back to families getting together and picking who their kids marry. Husbands should have their mistresses and prostitutes discreetly on the side. Assets and children should be raised and protected in a secure stable environment. Future generations will look back to us to help re-learn these truths again.[/QUOTE]So I suppose I'm supposed to hand my daughter off to the guy with the most goats, so he can have her punch out babies while he bangs the prostitutes down in the village? Dude. You been drinking?

[QUOTE=DNut;5511674]Stop looking at women as targets. Women can tell if they're being sized up as a prize to be had. So even if they are open to a relationship, it's not going to be you.

Desperation is a hard smell to wash off. Don't be that guy.

Those are the tips on what not to do.

As for what you should do. Chill. Don't let "meeting the one" be your goal every time you go out, but just let social situations develop. Women open to relationships will be open to approaches and conversation, but they will bolt at the first sign you're forcing the issue. Nowadays, the advice women give other women is "let things develop organically". That should also be your guide.[/QUOTE]Thanks for all the advice, but this here might be misinterpreting my issue a bit. Its 2021 and I'm definitely NOT approaching women with some goal of being in a relationship with them. If it happens sure, but I take it step by step. Got to get her number, talk to her, taker her out before any of that other stuff happens first. My goal right now is to come across better quality women than what I'm currently pulling. I've had a few ladies recently say things like you've got all this, you look good, you've got all that, you do this, and that, why are you single, etc. And I'll look at them like, IDK single woman I'm pursuing, you tell me why you're not fucking with me, LOL. I just feel like in 2021 if I'm going to put up with all the spin games and ghosting and girls using money / food as a gateway to conversation with them, I'd rather it be with women who don't have a bunch of kids / baby daddies, former drug addicts, no job, lazy types that I seem to be pulling in so much more often. Also, I don't follow the pickup artists and things like that, I believe in being a generally decent guy and I always offer to pay on first dtates, but the holding chairs, opening doors, etc. Not in 2021. Some feedback I've been getting from many people is I'm too nice. Girls don't like that and see that as "simp" behaviour. Its fucked up, but you'll here many girls talk about that stuff low key today: "I'm tired of nice guys, I want a guy that's rude and mean", making subtle hints toward rough sex and abusive behaviours in relationships. I wish I knew how many girls liked to get absolutely choked the fuck out during sex when I was younger, or girls seemingly having an endless list of ex boyfriends who used to beart / fight them. Idk, my point is, I'm definitely not approaching with the intent to marry these girls upfront and I'm wondering if traditional dating tips for success are as relevant with women in 2021 as they have been in the past. Regardless, thanks fro the tips. The grocery store is honestly probably the best one. I can go to a Walmart or target or kroger and there's always some cute women in there. Just need to figure out how to make small talk / approach in the grocery store. Thanks again for the advice all. I'm taking notes.

[QUOTE=PearishBA;5513065]This is just some more anecdotal, but I've heard from my black friends that black chicks act differently with white guys vs black guys in relationships, less aggressive, talk different, more feminine.

My experience with them has been limited to providers. Personally I couldn't seriously pursue a black woman and having children, though. And its not because of prejudice or not finding them attractive. Its because of the history of slavery and all the extra issues and mental baggage our kids would have to deal with. Who the fuck am I to bring another person into this world to wrestle with all that shit? It amazes me how some people won't give that a second thought, or a first one, and just 'follow their hearts' right off a cliff. Even if you do everything right bringing them up, there's going to be at least a few jaded relatives that are going to have oversized influence because of the blood relation. And those teenage years where they're going to rebel against you at least for a while, which will include at least some of what you've been trying to teach them. And then there's what the rest of the world around them is going to be trying to teach them that's a thousand times worse.[/QUOTE]So, I'm black and somewhere in my 30's I'll leave it at that. And I have a white friend who I talk about this stuff with and sadly, the exact same is true for my friend opposite is true for me. I love my black women, I truly do. My mom, aunt, grandmothers. Every woman that has shown me true love, also ones who've seemed to treat me like shit throughout life have been black women. But in 2021, there's a clear difference in who accepts my advances, respect, kindness, etc and its the white girls. In my opinion, its 100% true. A lot of black women act completely different when pursued by guys from other races. I do think there's a historical connection, etc but I'm not really going to go into that. I will say, as a black guy there's a lot to overcome in the dating world from both sides. With black women, you're dealing with LOTS of baggage. In cincy, most have kids young and usually not by the most stand up guys, so you're constantly dealing with BD issues and having to overcome their stereotypes of how black dudes have treated them almost their whole lives, even if its not necessarily bad, but cincy is a hood city so a lot of black women know nothing but being around hood dudes. Also, being honest, a lot of hte black women here aren't going to college, getting decent jobs, staying in shape, etc as much as they are in other areas, and the ones that are, they see you as all the other black dudes that approach them with BS daily so they're way less inclined to let you approach and dismiss your true intentions. Further, with the white girls or women of other races, you might just as easily get "I just don't date black guys" although that seems to be on an outward trend in more modern times, and I 100% appreciate the new age approaches to diversity on some things. But, if I'm being honest, the white girls of any level / economic standing / whatever are way way way more receptive to advances, and its not like I'm coming at women with catcalls or the "hey baby, what's up give me your number" stuff. I'm an adult, I approach, try to make small quick convo, gauge interest, get her number and keep it moving. White girls, even some Latinas (I'll flirt with the Seniora's around town sometimes in my broken Spanish and that'll sometimes give them a nice laugh / smile) when I say the same thing to black girls, they just don't even give me the time of day. Regardless, I understand everyone's opinions. I think people would be surprised at how some of these issues are seen and dealt with on both sides. Like, it'd be hard for me to bring home a white girl to my family without people saying shit / judging constantly, and probably making her feel bad / wrong / uncomfortable but I'm kinda like fuck a lot of people in my family anyway.

[QUOTE=PearishBA;5512425] As for "Letting it happen organically" Good god, if only I believed in a god. You know things are headed in the wrong direction when men have the luxury to talk and think like women. If modern times have proved anything, its that dating and putting women in charge of deciding who they marry has been a disaster. Romantic love needs to be removed as a pre-requisite for marriage. If it happens down the road consider yourselves lucky. We need to go back to families getting together and picking who their kids marry. Husbands should have their mistresses and prostitutes discreetly on the side. Assets and children should be raised and protected in a secure stable environment. Future generations will look back to us to help re-learn these truths again.[/QUOTE]You don't have a clue what, "letting it happen organically" means. Men don't have to have the luxury to talk and think like women. They just need to talk and listen to women. Conversations are two way streets. [B]Women are not looking for a man who thinks like a woman[/B]. Women just don't want assholes who want to mold them into something they're not. That's where the listening skills comes in. You need to learn how to LISTEN to women, not just hear them. If you LISTEN, they will tell you what they want. If you LISTEN, you will hear that they are not asking you to change either.

If a woman says that she is looking for a man that can cook, she isn't asking you to learn how to cook. She is just telling you what she's looking for, and if that's not you, you walk away.

It's this machismo BS of unable to take rejection that causes relationship wars. Some men can't take no for an answer, so women feel the need to arm themselves to the teeth. It's how these Incel deviants start; can't take rejection, so they feel women owe them.

[QUOTE=IMAcrossdressingTVAskmeanything;5513345]Thanks for all the advice, but this here might be misinterpreting my issue a bit. Its 2021 and I'm definitely NOT approaching women with some goal of being in a relationship with them. If it happens sure, but I take it step by step. Got to get her number, talk to her, taker her out before any of that other stuff happens first. My goal right now is to come across better quality women than what I'm currently pulling. I've had a few ladies recently say things like you've got all this, you look good, you've got all that, you do this, and that, why are you single, etc. And I'll look at them like, IDK single woman I'm pursuing, you tell me why you're not fucking with me, LOL. I just feel like in 2021 if I'm going to put up with all the spin games and ghosting and girls using money / food as a gateway to conversation with them, I'd rather it be with women who don't have a bunch of kids / baby daddies, former drug addicts, no job, lazy types that I seem to be pulling in so much more often. Also, I don't follow the pickup artists and things like that, I believe in being a generally decent guy and I always offer to pay on first dtates, but the holding chairs, opening doors, etc. Not in 2021. Some feedback I've been getting from many people is I'm too nice. Girls don't like that and see that as "simp" behaviour. Its fucked up, but you'll here many girls talk about that stuff low key today: "I'm tired of nice guys, I want a guy that's rude and mean", making subtle hints toward rough sex and abusive behaviours in relationships. I wish I knew how many girls liked to get absolutely choked the fuck out during sex when I was younger, or girls seemingly having an endless list of ex boyfriends who used to beart / fight them. Idk, my point is, I'm definitely not approaching with the intent to marry these girls upfront and I'm wondering if traditional dating tips for success are as relevant with women in 2021 as they have been in the past. Regardless, thanks fro the tips. The grocery store is honestly probably the best one. I can go to a Walmart or target or kroger and there's always some cute women in there. Just need to figure out how to make small talk / approach in the grocery store. Thanks again for the advice all. I'm taking notes.[/QUOTE]Just be you man. I'm a nice guy but at times I'm awkward asf. I'm about to be 30 in January, balding, and fat but I have pulled extremely hot women since about 2015 (not hookers) without trying hard and just being decent. I'm somewhat of an intimidating looking guy, and at first glance alot of women look at me and assume I'm the aggressive type. Not tooting my own horn but I've been told I'm good in bed, but I'm not abusive whatsoever. Usually the flings last for a while but when the ladies figure out I'm a nice guy generally they don't know what to make of it and they look for a scumbag because that is what they are accustomed to. Never laid my hands on a woman and I believe if any man does they are no longer a man. I have very few skills, I am uncoordinated, own a house worth 15000 dollars, drive an old 1990's truck, and make 40 k a year. Alot of women see me as someone to use, but that is just the sad reality of living in 2021! And also the reason why I came out of retirement after my divorce in 2017. My ex got nothing from my divorce so I am still in a good position in life and came out unscathed from that. I'm in semi retirement now trying to find "the perfect woman" but at the same time I'm content with how my life is now, I'm not rushing anything as rushing puts you at risk to pay alimony and stuff like that. You're doing alot better then you give yourself credit for, especially in the times we are living in! Just know when to get out of the situations before they burn you for big money and that's the name of the game, I've mastered that. Best wishes to you and I do hope you find what you're looking for, whatever that may be!

C92.

[QUOTE=RogerOver;5513343]So I suppose I'm supposed to hand my daughter off to the guy with the most goats, so he can have her punch out babies while he bangs the prostitutes down in the village? Dude. You been drinking?[/QUOTE]You obviously have no problem with banging prostitutes being on here (or are we a proud hypocrite when it comes to daddy's girl's hubby? And I'm assuming you wouldn't mind a few grandkids. As long as he's not fucking the goats where's your problem? LOL Yes Roger I would trust you and the other adult relatives in your family more to vet the guy and make sure things like that are not happening, over your bright eyed daughter with minimal life experience trying to do it. The ridiculous state of modern marriage testifies to that.

Its kind of funny to watch men go along and shit on themselves when it comes to this. Sometimes its for more noble reasons like what you're saying, trying to hedge for the best for your daughter in even the worst case scenario. But mostly its just guys following the new modern path of least resistance. No more social pressure to get your shit together, to become the head of the household provider and protector that nature molded us for. Just going along to get your sexual urges satisfied, settling for being at least a useful idiot. Not exactly a formula for long term relationship success and it shows in the divorce rates. And then there's the growing number of guys that don't even try, living in mom's basement playing video games and jerking off to porn.

Like I said before its not sustainable long term, for a number of structural reasons. So enjoy the relatively easy relaxed times while they last. And manage your expectations accordingly when it comes to trying anything like long term relationships these days.

[QUOTE=WanderingAbout;5504199]OF to ban sexual content in October. Someone else has to jump into the pond to fill this void as OF is processing billions in transactions and keeping 20 percent.

[URL]https://www.theverge.com/2021/8/19/22632797/onlyfans-prohibit-sexually-explicit-content-porn-creators[/URL][/QUOTE]Well THAT didn't last long.

[URL]https://www.reuters.com/business/onlyfans-reverses-ban-showing-sexually-explicit-content-2021-08-25/[/URL]

[QUOTE=Cincyfunguy;5514025]Well THAT didn't last long.

[URL]https://www.reuters.com/business/onlyfans-reverses-ban-showing-sexually-explicit-content-2021-08-25/[/URL][/QUOTE]Drowning in free porn while paying for porn. As they say, a fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.

[QUOTE=PearishBA;5514066]Drowning in free porn while paying for porn. As they say, a fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.[/QUOTE]Completely agree Pearish. Only a cuck pays for OF. the lone exception being if they are subscribing to an OF pornstar that they made a video with.

[QUOTE=PearishBA;5513996]You obviously have no problem with banging prostitutes being on here (or are we a proud hypocrite when it comes to daddy's girl's hubby? And I'm assuming you wouldn't mind a few grandkids. As long as he's not fucking the goats where's your problem? LOL Yes Roger I would trust you and the other adult relatives in your family more to vet the guy and make sure things like that are not happening, over your bright eyed daughter with minimal life experience trying to do it. The ridiculous state of modern marriage testifies to that.

[/QUOTE]Meh. So what? Beyond banging (non-junkie or streetwalker level) prostitutes, I interact with a host of other professions that I don't want my kids to grow up and become. So, of course, I'd resist letting my daughter marry a loser, to the point that I'd make sure she and he knew they would be unable to rely on me for shit. But I paid for her costly ivy league education, so she doesn't need to be traded in, and the guy provided a dowry so he'd take her.

It sounds like you don't like women, beyond whatever gratification you can manage to get from them. I don't care if that's the case, but it's not my position.

[QUOTE=RogerOver;5514157]
It sounds like you don't like women, beyond whatever gratification you can manage to get from them. I don't care if that's the case, but it's not my position.[/QUOTE]Its not that I don't like women, its that I don't like trying to make them independent from men. We evolved into complementary genders for fundamental purposes, we make each other better, play off each other's strengths. You can't fuck with one without fucking with or fucking up the other. And we're doing a damn good job of confusing and fucking up men by trying to make them optional for women. I'm not saying we should go back to the goat herding days when women were basically property, but over-correcting in the opposite direction is even worse because it tries to completely ignore evolutionary reality.

[QUOTE=PearishBA;5514560]Its not that I don't like women, its that [b] I don't like trying to make them independent from men[/b] . [/QUOTE]That says a lot about you. Get a calendar. Society has moved on. Did you know women can even vote now?

Yes, thank you. I didn't think I needed to be so explicit in a place like this. Ha!

[QUOTE=PearishBA;5501251]I think he means pain-free as in getting false documentation that he's gotten the vaccine. LOL.[/QUOTE]