"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

I agree with Scott on this one. Hot and heavy at this point with SB1 who has decided to make me her priority 1. Meaning as my schedule moves she moves her as well. With significant gyrations. To make time regardless. But I am not available on weekends, I am not available to party with her friends, and I am home most of the time in my normal environment where she does not belong. So she looks for other ways to fill her time. I just don't ask as no sense in making her lie or otherwise be uncomfortable. It has taken me a few months now to get to this point but it is the only way to reach equilibrium.

Funny story. Met SB1 for dinner this week and she talked all about her circle of friends involved in older men / younger women before anything like SA or SD. Then went to a bar where one of her friends, HYB but nuts, gets me aside trying to "interview" me on my suitability as a SD (background, employment). I am squirming like hell until SB1 realizes what is going on and drops the hammer. Man it's a crazy world.

" SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this." mandy

To bring you up to speed on my situation Mandy, I am married and am not sexually active with her. I have a "long term " SB of 10 months and we love each other .as much as a 24 yr old can love a 60 yr old I guess. We see each other two overnights / week, sometimes three. She does not need my Sugar to live on. I absolutely expect Monogamy from her and give it in return. It would be a deal breaker for me if I discovered she was sleeping with other men-primarily because of the way our relationship has evolved.that is.being emotionally involved. As Scott said, it makes for more angst and anxiety wondering about her activities when we are not together and I wish I could not care, but the fact is.I do. I have seen many Pros and quite a few SB / semi pros and have had no problem being in the booty line with them, but this girl is different for me.

For me, the allure of a SD / SB relationship is that special emotional connection that sets it apart from a hooker / John one. If I want sex I can go to an escort and leave with no E-concerns. So.in your case, if I invested a significant amount of time, energy, money, and emotion in you, I would expect monogamy. My Sb has loads of friends and goes out a lot. I have no problem with "going out ". I do have a big problem with her hooking up with other random dudes. I know about reality. Everybody I have met doesn't need to get laid 7 days / week with multiple guys. I hope I have found one who does respect my desires.she says so, so who really knows?

Hi guys,

Thank you very much for weighing in on the multiple SD question. I think the consensus is that it depends on the level of relationship and if you do have multiples it's a don't ask / don't tell kind of thing.

I do have another question for you. Wednesday I'm having lunch with a Pot who is new to the Sugar world. That in itself is new to me as my past SD's have all had a few babies before me. As such, they all brought up the arrangement and asked me what was it that I wanted. My current SD refers to it as "the business side" and whenever he has a question he'll go,"I have a business question for you". I think it's cute and helps separate the intimacy versus the arrangement.

The thing is, this pot and I have been emailing for all of my Spring break (2 weeks) and he hasn't once asked "what are you looking for". His profile had a budget range that's acceptable to me and he was very specific about helping a college or graduate student so I know he gets the sugar side and we're playing in the same ballpark. But, I'm thinking I'm going to have to be the one to bring it up. Any tips on how to do this? Any great way a girl has mentioned it to you? Any really bad things I should stay away from saying? This guy is my preferred choice out of my two pots so I don't want to do something silly.

Thanks for the advice!

Mandy

Gentlemen,

I have mere seconds to post before I have to head home, so I must be brief. Polo was fantastic, but wore perfume for our workout, which is now permeating my clothes and skin. I have a plan in place that I am hoping will fly with my SO, but if not, I may be seeking some bunk space for the next few weeks.

Think good thoughts for me, my brothers and sister, this could end up in Armageddon.

Scott

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1409982]Gentlemen,

I have mere seconds to post before I have to head home, so I must be brief. Polo was fantastic, but wore perfume for our workout, which is now permeating my clothes and skin. I have a plan in place that I am hoping will fly with my SO, but if not, I may be seeking some bunk space for the next few weeks.

Think good thoughts for me, my brothers and sister, this could end up in Armageddon.

Scott[/QUOTE]Hope the excuse / explanation works out. Have to wonder, though, why Polo wore a scent that would be so likely to get into your skin like that. Trying to "mark" her 'new man'?

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1409982]Gentlemen,

I have mere seconds to post before I have to head home, so I must be brief. Polo was fantastic, but wore perfume for our workout, which is now permeating my clothes and skin. I have a plan in place that I am hoping will fly with my SO, but if not, I may be seeking some bunk space for the next few weeks.

Think good thoughts for me, my brothers and sister, this could end up in Armageddon.

Scott[/QUOTE]I have had this happen a few times, and, coincidentally, I've ruined a few pairs of pants by "accidentally" spilling a little gasoline on them while refueling on the way home. Not a pleasant experience, but a better option than returning home smelling like the perfume counter at Bloomingdale's.

As I alluded yesterday, Polo came to the party smelling wonderful, but unfortunately the scent attached itself to me, something I only noticed when driving back to work with the windows rolled up due to the torrential rains we had here. I had not showered in the hotel, and had no opportunity to do so before I needed to be home. What to do?

I got out the Batphone, called Polo, ascertained what the name of the perfume was that she had on, and stopped off at the mall and bought a bottle of it to give to my SO as a token of my affection. I explained that I had been doing a little shopping when a perfume sprayer had asked if I wanted to smell this new scent, and in spraying it on the piece of paper, also got a little on me. I'm pretty sure it worked, but I think I have to be on my best behavior for a while.

By the way, it was Ralph Lauren (of course) Big Pony. The silver lining for me is that now when Scottie smells it, he can stand as tall as he likes and not arouse any suspicion.

Scott

I haven't posted in a while, but follow this thread every day. Great reading!

As I said before, I jumped into the SB World after reading this thread. I usually play in the World of strippers and have developed a few SB / SD type relationships with a few of them. I am still seeing my first, and only, true SB. We have been seeing each other for 4 months now. The sex has been fantastic. It started off very intense with 4-5 rounds per night during our first few weeks. We have gradually eased off to 2-3 times per night, but she spends the night 4 times per week. She is very open minded and we have had a few 3somes witha good lesbian friend of mine. She likes to go with me to strip clubs to watch the dancers with me. She is very attractive and turns heads everyplace we go. So far so good right?

Now the problem. She has gotten very emotionally attached. She considers me her boyfriend. Our arrangement is now that I help her with some billls and pay for some pretty expensive, and wild, nights out. She is recently separated and has 2 small children. She has told me she loves me, wants to know if I am going to re-marry and if I plan to have more children.

I am only 6 months out of a 16 year marriage and was not and am not now looking for anything that serious. I do like her, enjoy spending time with her, and the sex has been great. I don't want to end the relationship for selfish reasons, but know I need to end it before it gets any deeper.

Any sugestions on how best to do it? I've been very honest with her. I've told her that her strong attachment and the word "love" scares me.

Max

[QUOTE=Spitfire; 1409101]As I've posted before, I've focused my attention on only 1 SB. Unlike most posters, I'm completely single and unattached so I don't have a significant other to add complications. Things have gone exceedingly well between us to the point that she wants me to meet her parents this weekend. She's told them that she's dating a guy 20 years older and says while they're not thrilled about it, they've accepted it. They don't know how we began, but I'm sure they will deduce I am supporting her financially.

I'm not the least bit concerned with how her parents will react to me because I can handle myself, but I wonder if she really knows how to handle it herself. I've brought it up to her and she laughs it off. We'll see how it goes.[/QUOTE]I'm not a SD right now or at least not in the way you more experienced guys are. I have certainly been one a couple times in the past before the practice's current popularity. But I'm always on the look out for a "low budget" SB in these economically-challenging times.

My question to you is: Why on earth would you want to meet your SB's parents? Even in the best of SB-SD situations, the SD is not a boyfriend in the traditional sense. Remember you're / we're payng for a woman's attention. Time and sex. Our success depends, in large part, on keeping the relationship UTR and under control just between the two of you. Wouldn't you think that the exposure you get to the parents can only lead to bad things? Whether you are single and can handle it or not, do you really want to bring other, more mature people into your SB / SD relationship (the parents are possibly your age)? No matter how cordial they are to you, I suspect they'll try to secretly get in your SB's ear, check out your background, etc. I think you're needlessly bringing on more complications for yourself.

I'm not saying this to be critical but simply to suggest that there might be undesirable consequences to your plans. More power to ya.

Gentleman,

While reading Scott's post about perfume it reminded me on a make-up incident with my first SD. "Him". He had an open marriage, but decided he wanted to spend a weekend with me. Something the "SO" (by the way can someone tell me what that stands for) wouldn't have allowed. So, he fibbed a little about where he was going to be that weekend.

At the end of our time together he drove me to the airport and I noticed that his face was a little sparkly. It took me a second to realize the source of said sparkles. My bronzer (a face powder). I pointed it out to him, and he later told me that he stopped at a restroom and washed his face so that he wasn't caught. As much as I like that make-up. I now refrain from wearing it when I meet an SD. Just wanted to give you guys a heads up on that one. When you meet your SB, if her face looks cute, tan, and sparkly. Make sure the sparkles stay on her.

After Scott's post, I'll leave the perfume off as well. No need to get any of you in trouble now.

Mandy

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409040]I do want to thank you all for providing much more interesting reading for my spring break than the "prep-work" that I should be doing before classes start next week. But, you've made me think of a question that I have for you.

Many of you have a "stable" of SB's that you play with and well my dead Scott I just finished reading about your fantastic Monday the other week. What I've read before is that SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies. As I get ready to approach my own multiple SD week, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

Mandy[/QUOTE]I will not see a SB unless she has other daddies (or a job, or escorts part to full time). As I do not want to be the sole source of support. I mean the bare bare minimum anyone can live on as far as I can tell is about 3k a month (and that is not high). And I like variety.

[QUOTE=Spitfire; 1409101]As I've posted before, I've focused my attention on only 1 SB. Unlike most posters, I'm completely single and unattached so I don't have a significant other to add complications. Things have gone exceedingly well between us to the point that she wants me to meet her parents this weekend. She's told them that she's dating a guy 20 years older and says while they're not thrilled about it, they've accepted it. They don't know how we began, but I'm sure they will deduce I am supporting her financially.

I'm not the least bit concerned with how her parents will react to me because I can handle myself, but I wonder if she really knows how to handle it herself. I've brought it up to her and she laughs it off. We'll see how it goes.[/QUOTE]This is not so differnt than my situation. Most of the discussion on this board has beem with SD's being carefull not to get emotionally involved, but what about the SD's? How many of them fall for their SD'? We can confuse lust for love and maybe they can confuse loving being cared for with being in love.

You need to ask yourself the same questions I am asking myself. Is she in love with me or loving being cared for by me? Am I in love or lust with her? Am I prepared for a committed relationship with somone hald my age, with children, different ethnicities and very different maturity levels? If not, is it fair to continue with somone who wants the full relationship when you know you don't?

Good luck!

Max

[QUOTE=Castlerae; 1408603]First off, welcome sbabyblog! Being one of your readers, it was an interesting change of prespective to see these arrangements through the eyes of an SB. I hope you stick around here to help keep us all from wandering too far off the mark.

Now for a question:

How many of you have been approached by women who live considerable distances from you with suggestions that you 'hook up' with them? So far, I've had at least two, the most recent a SB who lives over four hours drive from me (and no, there's no airline service between us) wanting to "get together" with me. From her profile, I know she's not going to be driving to see me, so all the travel will be on my dime and time. So why would a woman think a potential SD would drive that far?[/QUOTE]I will not drive more than 45 minutes to meet anyone. But I live in L. A. No shortages here. But if I did not. Then maybe 2 hours.

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409877]Hi guys,

This pot and I have been emailing for all of my Spring break (2 weeks) and he hasn't once asked "what are you looking for". His profile had a budget range that's acceptable to me and he was very specific about helping a college or graduate student so I know he gets the sugar side and we're playing in the same ballpark. But, I'm thinking I'm going to have to be the one to bring it up. Any tips on how to do this? Any great way a girl has mentioned it to you? Any really bad things I should stay away from saying? This guy is my preferred choice out of my two pots so I don't want to do something silly.

Thanks for the advice!

Mandy[/QUOTE]Mandy,

It may not be as big an issue as you are fearing. As has been pointed out before, you didn't meet him on match.com, so presumably he knows this is something that needs to be talked about. I appreciate your desire to handle it elegantly and with tact, but I know you would do it that way anyway, so don't sweat it. If I were you, I would wait and see how things play out during your M&G. If you are getting along great, and finishing each others' sentences, and all the signs are "go", maybe hold off on bringing it up just then, but do it later in a quick email or text. If things are not going so great, then what's the point of bringing it up?

I have frequently framed the discussion by saying,"In the past, I have always offered X as a token of my appreciation. Is this what you were thinking?" That way she can accept, walk away, or negotiate, but it tells her that I am neither low-balling nor new to the game. You might need to think about what it is that you want, both in terms of sugar and frequency, but I would recommend not doing it at the initial meeting. Too mercenary, in my opinion.

In the end, if he's into you in a major way, he will probably bring it up himself. I am always a little leery of the babies that want to talk sugar right away, although it certainly has happened. As I think back on it, though, those are never the ones that last with me. Can't preserve the illusion. We can be delicate creatures, we SDs.

Hope this is helpful. I'll ponder it a little more, and if I think of anything else, I'll post again. Good luck.

Scott

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409040]I do want to thank you all for providing much more interesting reading for my spring break than the "prep-work" that I should be doing before classes start next week. But, you've made me think of a question that I have for you.

Many of you have a "stable" of SB's that you play with and well my dead Scott I just finished reading about your fantastic Monday the other week. What I've read before is that SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies. As I get ready to approach my own multiple SD week, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

Mandy[/QUOTE]I'm sure as with everything every SD has his preference on a sb having multiple SD's, I personally don't want to be the sole source of support either. It's probably best to be discreet in this area.