That Great Place in Chinatown
I got there at 10:00 pm. Paid house fee. Started with shower/sauna. Had 'Elle' this time. She is 30ish attractive, and competent. Started with "foot work" (massaging shoulders, back, legs, feet, arms and hands with her feet). I felt like I was worked over by a good chiropractor. Then came the 'hand work'. Also very competent. She massaged my neck before she cracked it skillfully. Then came the scalp and face massage. Her fingers found muscles on the inner aspect of my thighs which I forgot I had. She massaged and put pressure on and around the pubic area and signaled the question: do i want a hj? The hj was good if a little mechanical. She permitted me to loosen her bra, and play with her breasts. I could see that although she allowed the roaming, she didnt want it done. I stopped cause it then became no fun for me. Elle successfully milked every last drop out, and cleaned me off in a perfunctory manner. In short she was ok in looks, very good in skills, but missing something intangible (soul, feeling). Damage report: $50 house, $40 masseuse, $10 good will tip to manager/towel boy. I will repeat. Each time I will try another masseuse and report back. For my money this place remains the best deal in town! Enjoy!!
Groucho Takes One For The Team
Tonight I tried to buy a massage at what has to be the the worst place in the new world. This major dung heap is located at 27 Essex Street (downstairs). I can't begin to tell you how lousey this place was. The sights, the smells, and the sounds of the facilities were horrific. The same holds true for the masseuses. Mine was a youngish woman named 'Nancy'. At least that's what I think she said while I was looking the place over for signs of vermin. I always travel with my own towels so as to mitigate any lack of cleanliness at such places. My towels are soaking in bleach as we speak. I may decide to burn them instead. Nancy led me through this sanctum until we reached her space; the Sanctum Sanctorum. Here I quickly undressed and placed my bath sheets on her table. When I put my face thru the face hole the faint smell of mildew was evident. As the crappy massage continued the smell was rising in intensity. Nancy was massaging me while arguing loudly with the other masseuses. I told her that the arguing ruins the massage. It didnt help. My blood pressure was rising. Nancy conveniently lost her ability to understand such uncommon phrases as: strong massage, hand massage, no more back massage, please massage legs etc. This last request was responded to with a quick "you need extra one half hour." I replied that this first massage was a trial. That if I was not happy, I would not return. If she did a good job, then she made a new customer. She seemed to understand. Our time was nearly up. I told her that I would take another 30 minutes. While she was resetting the timer, I turned over and indicated that I wanted a HJ. She refused saying that her boss was there. I told her to forget the extra half hour. She walked away, and did not return. I dressed, packed my stuff, and handed the mamasan $40 ($38 house fee) along with the words "I am not happy." The mamasan looked at Nancy who had just been given an unspoken $2 tip and smiled. I repeated that I was not happy with the service. Nobody seemed to care. I generally have 2-3 massages weekly, and my usual tip is $40. Even the sh-t head girl at Ocean Spa got $30 from me. 27 Essex street sucks.
More absurd reasons for LE behavior...
1) Shutting down these places is easier than fighting rougher crime.
2) Failing to have a massage license is actually a more serious crime than providing a HJ. The first is a felony, the second a misdemeanor. Why this absurdity? Lobbyists for CMTs (certified massage therapists) are trying to protect their clients from the influx of unlicensed masseuses.
3) LE often uses the lack of a license as a pretext for the real reason they go in for the bust: sexual extras. It's much easier and more cost-efficient to prove that a girl doesn't have a license than to send in undercover to elicit the sexual favors. And, as stated above, the lack of a license can be the more serious "crime."
3) Neighborhood complaints. It takes very few to galvanize LE, who like to be viewed as protecting "the community." That's why some Tuina places are so strict about not providing HJs; if no neighbor catches them out on the extras, the police may give them some slack if they are good "citizens" and have their licensing in order.
4) The martial arts place probably fell victim to a neighborhood complaint. Some stupid hypocrite who takes the kiddies in for a lesson may have stopped in for a massage, was offered a little mild hanky-panky, and then thought, "I take my kids to a place that does that? The police must be told!"
5) A competitor, either in massage or martial arts, could also have tipped off LE. That probably happens a lot, unfortunately. Make sure the police shut down your competitors and more business will come to you.
4) All of the above are also the reason why some places see only Asian customers (makes it tougher for LE to bust them) and why others go under the radar. Some of the best places are essentially private and do no public advertising at all.
Groucho, you deserve a good day!
[QUOTE=GrouchoMarx]Yesterday I visited that Essex St sh-t house. Today I wanted to make up for it by visiting my favorite place on Park Row. The police had been there. The massage portion of the spa is out of business. I looked around and saw that things were being moved out. Why dont the police shut down the filthy, disease ridden hovels like 27 Essex Street?? Why do they seem to target the clean, and well run places like LF? It seems unfair. A major irony is that when the masseuses are brought in by the police, they often see their customers among the men who work in the courts. These girls are inherently classy and do not betray their customers. Frankly, I prefer the company of these women to the assholes whose job it is to harrass them. These women don't go on welfare, nor do they exploit the system. Instead, they work long hours for their hard earned money. The offence for which they get arrested has nothing to do with providing sexual favors. They are in fact charged with the horrible crime of being unlicenced to provide massage. New York's bravest are assigned the task of taking helpless women from conditions of extraordinary difficulty all the way to the edges of misery. I am off my soap box.[/QUOTE]