The Raleigh area "Sugar Bowl" (SA, WYP, SD4 ME)

MrCoop,

You may receive varying answers on this, but let me give you my opinion. I've been a SD for over two years, and regardless of how horny I am, how desperate they are, or the favor-ability of the pre-meet conversation. I always (ALWAYS) without exception meet on neutral ground. It is easy to think about the safety of the SB, however, your safety is FAR more imperative here. You are the "money' man, and everyone knows it.

I feel so strongly about this, that I have refused to meet a couple of dozen SBs due to this self-imposed rule of mine. You have to view yourself as a potential target with any SB. My rule is very simple; first meeting in a public place, or no meet at all. SBs come and go. Not to sound harsh here, but there's an unlimited amount of them at your disposal. Never (ever) lose your upper hand inside the Sugar Bowl.

Cheers: Thresh.

[QUOTE=MRCoop39;3118704]I decided to try SA out and found a SB that wanted to meet. We have already set up an arrangement.

She does not have transportation and she wants me to visit her home (not to pick her up and go to a hotel but have our fun there at a place that is near a rough part of Durham County).

I asked her a question about being an adult 18 or over, old enough to consent and she told me I was being weird (but never answered the question). I informed her that was a question designed for her safety and mines because a stranger is coming to her resident (where she says she will be alone) and I wanted to ensure she was of legal age because while she is sexy and her profile says she is 18.she looks young (and she never answered the question, she talked around the question, "you will see when you get here that I'm an adult".

What should I do? Just go to the meet and then request her I'd before we get into anything?[/QUOTE]

The other problem you run into with this is that you can get catfished and the photos you saw, are not of the girl you meet in person. That is why I always do a face to face meeting before agreeing on the arrangement. Unfortunately I learned it the hard way.

Also, make sure you get a full body photo so you can make sure there are no surprises in the lower parts. Another lesson learned the hard way.

[QUOTE=Thresh;3119031]MrCoop,

You may receive varying answers on this, but let me give you my opinion. I've been a SD for over two years, and regardless of how horny I am, how desperate they are, or the favor-ability of the pre-meet conversation. I always (ALWAYS) without exception meet on neutral ground. It is easy to think about the safety of the SB, however, your safety is FAR more imperative here. You are the "money' man, and everyone knows it.

I feel so strongly about this, that I have refused to meet a couple of dozen SBs due to this self-imposed rule of mine. You have to view yourself as a potential target with any SB. My rule is very simple; first meeting in a public place, or no meet at all. SBs come and go. Not to sound harsh here, but there's an unlimited amount of them at your disposal. Never (ever) lose your upper hand inside the Sugar Bowl.

Cheers: Thresh.[/QUOTE]

[URL]https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/cb0c4d1c-56dd-4944-bb6a-c4c010f7aa68[/URL]

Agreed on an allowance via message and text. Twice she mentioned wanting the allowance up front. I told her it sounded like a rob scam to me and she became belligerent. I blocked her on SA and phone.

[URL]https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/91b9bd50-dedb-c144-a141-828fa935d3a8[/URL]

FYI. Lots of texting back and forth. Finally set up a meet. She gave me her address. Run down house in Durham. It's not in a horrible spot, but not great. I asked about meeting nearby in public, but she said she doesn't drive right now. She would come out and sit in the car and talk if I wanted. I let the little head say ok. Showed up and pulled into the driveway. A large gentlemen immediately peeked around the corner from the back of the house, then hid around the corner again. I bolted. She might be real, but I'm not finding out.

Stay safe.

I want to reply to a couple of posts all at once, hopefully that's cool.

1) thanks for the notes on joining. I had used the site back when they still took money orders and got flustered.

2) Definitely a trend. I actually bring up STD safety stuff at the first meeting. I find that coming right out with it gives me all the info I need: are they safe, are they tested regularly, are they the sad casualties of regressive politics and abstinence-only sex ed? Usually it's 1 and 2 or 3. I also ask if they got the HPV vaccine and don't proceed if they haven't. If it's someone I intend to make an investment with I'll discuss document-able testing just to see how they react. The most trusted reply I got was "hah, yeah. We can do that, but I'd never trust it because it's all invalidated the moment you have sex with someone again and this isn't a world of trust. It's a world of transactions. " When I first started reading this and some other boards was the end of my seeing "regular" appointments -- way too many people trying to go BB with a pool of people using IV drugs and that's just insane. (sorry for the soapbox).

3) the end of point 2 was the best worst thing to happen to me. I went totally SD / UTR almost three years ago and I don't think I'd ever go back. The mirror to Thresh's point about being a target is that unlike with the backpage or even high class zones we can be in absolute control if you do things the right way. One important thing to note is that there are WAY more real women on SA than actual SDaddies. So we should all win by default. All of this assumes you understand how this is different. I can go to Raleigh Denim and spend nearly $200 on a pair of raw-denim jeans. Work them in the right way over the next six months and then I have a custom fit / fade to my body that will last me years with little to no extra investment. Or you could go buy three pairs of Levi's for that price. They will all be good, but never fit perfectly, will wear out in a year, and expect to see your co-worker wearing the same cut and fade at the work picnic. And then there's WalMart jeans. You might get crabs just trying them on.

Slow your roll. Do your research. Figure out your style and persona. Then start raking them in. Here's some testimonials. I'll give direct links via PM to some of you senior members (good SA match can still be UTR).

1- I joined last week. Spent the weekend lining up options since I had a work trip to another part of the state. First night I got there I met my first date for coffee at 4. We were in the hot tub by 5, to the room for round one, out for dinner around 7:30, back to the room for rounds 2-exhaustion. She spent the night. Everything was on the menu. Like pornstar meets kinky sub menu. Our discussion over the weekend included her naming a $$$ a little south of 1 k. I told her that I totally believe she has guys lining up to throw that kinda money at her but it was well outside my intended budget. We settled on less than half (and slightly more than the top priced BP girls around here).

2- Had someone lined up for the next day, but felt tired and work meetings were frustrating. So I told her that I wasn't feeling good and asked to wait until later and she was fine with that after lowering her stated price (and my saying I wasn't trying to low-ball her). That evening I got a text from night one asking she I'd like to "rejuvenate" in the hot tub. I said I would, but my budget didn't allow and she snipped back that she wanted the tub not my money (with a wink). Woke up with her the next morning as well. When I was leaving town I sent her a note saying I had fun and she replied that she did too and really hoped to see me next time (but remember this is NSA. I'm 100% yours when we are together, but only when we are together).

3- "work trip" was always a bit of an exaggeration. I was on a tour to see what I could establish in the area since I'll be there about 4-5 days each month for the coming year. So I started this day saying goodbye to my first baby and met my contact from the previous night for brunch. We had a nice time and made plans to get drinks at the hotel that night with the parting gift "and lets just go with that lower amount. You actually make me feel comfortable and it would be nice not going home feeling gross. " Started drinks picking up that conversation line. And talked the complications of consent and money and sexism and ended the night in my bed and her declining money. (that happens only once in a blue moon and I've already sent her some stuff I know she needs for her art addressed from "an anonymous patron. " (I'm tipping my hand here. I do believe that money and consent makes things fucked up and sticky and I did send it anonymously. But I knew she would know it was from me and wrote "I don't believe in romance, but this made me smile and I can't wait to make you smile again" . Call it a long con or a game or business, be good at what you are doing and you'll succeed).

4- day four was a wild card. I'd been corresponding with a number of other local college girl types. These can be flighty and fickle. I seem to have the right amount of charisma and humbleness that they will usually talk themselves into doing more with me that they claim they will do. So I had a couple on the line and kept pushing them off being busy or "not sure if I should invest the money. Business deals on this trip aren't working out how I had initially expected. " Had one offer to meet me for drinks "just for fun" out of the blue. She suggested a place and I countered (I always counter). Fast forward to my giving her a ride home instead of via Uber and being invited to her dorm room "because it'll be so hot" or something.

I'm out about 7. For the week. That's for two overnights (both with tours to greece) plus two more evenings. That comes in at under $20 an hour. Sure it's not non-stop action, but this always works for me. Next time I'll have at least three to choose from and all of them will meet me for even less than this first trip. I'll send some gifts in the meantime. Everybody feels good getting gifts in the mail. Make someone actually feel good and they will want to make you feel good too.

Back here now and have a test the waters date tonight in Raleigh, tomorrow in Greensboro, and Wednesday in Burlington (Elon) plus someone asking if I would like her to drive here from WS to meet for drinks since I told her I was getting too busy. All have the expectation of an initial meeting with me saying I'm gong to be traveling a lot over the next six months so we might have to space things out. By the end of this month's paid SA account I'll probably hay ve my next year or so totally lined up. I already know at least two people I've spoken with will just be FWB since they are either stepping out or using SA as a way to get a very specific type of arrangement.

Go in expecting to invest, but think of it across the full year and do the cost analysis. You'll be so much more happy about it in the end. Tinder has mostly dried up for this kind of action. A year ago I was swimming in women from there. But I'm ending up preferring these set-ups because they want to keep it on the DL and the ones I'm going for are using it like a useful tool that same way as I am, so it works.

Again, hit me directly if you want some specifics. I'm also happy detailing how I engage with them. Just not out here in the open.

[QUOTE=Bpr8064;3119467]The other problem you run into with this is that you can get catfished and the photos you saw, are not of the girl you meet in person. That is why I always do a face to face meeting before agreeing on the arrangement. Unfortunately I learned it the hard way.

Also, make sure you get a full body photo so you can make sure there are no surprises in the lower parts. Another lesson learned the hard way.[/QUOTE]

I tend to have mornings free for play time. Most SBs cannot host. I cannot guarantee that I'll be able to check in to a hotel room in the morning, even if I call ahead and ask about it. Any suggestions on how to acquire an FC in the morning would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

[QUOTE=Triptogamont;3122852]I tend to have mornings free for play time. Most SBs cannot host. I cannot guarantee that I'll be able to check in to a hotel room in the morning, even if I call ahead and ask about it. Any suggestions on how to acquire an FC in the morning would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks![/QUOTE]Uh, I check in the night before on my way home from work, set up the room, then come back in the morning and text the room # to the baby. Or, if my out of town baby was getting the room, she actually comes and stays in it overnight, then I show up to fukc her. Only problem. She's not a morning person and I have to start slow until she wakes up.

[QUOTE=Triptogamont;3122852]I tend to have mornings free for play time. Most SBs cannot host. I cannot guarantee that I'll be able to check in to a hotel room in the morning, even if I call ahead and ask about it. Any suggestions on how to acquire an FC in the morning would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks![/QUOTE]Many hotels near the airport have special rates for air crews who need a short layover. Call and ask for the 'layoiver rate' and explain that you will be in by 8 and out by noon, or what ever your circumstances are.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3122866]Uh, I check in the night before on my way home from work, set up the room, then come back in the morning and text the room # to the baby. Or, if my out of town baby was getting the room, she actually comes and stays in it overnight, then I show up to fukc her. Only problem. She's not a morning person and I have to start slow until she wakes up.[/QUOTE]Yeah, I thought of this, but some of these girls are really flaky. I'd hate to have a room and no one to keep me company but Rosy Palm.

[QUOTE=Rdudreaming;3122939]Many hotels near the airport have special rates for air crews who need a short layover. Call and ask for the 'layoiver rate' and explain that you will be in by 8 and out by noon, or what ever your circumstances are.[/QUOTE]Will definitely look into this, thanks!

[QUOTE=Thresh;3119031]MrCoop,

You may receive varying answers on this, but let me give you my opinion. I've been a SD for over two years, and regardless of how horny I am, how desperate they are, or the favor-ability of the pre-meet conversation. I always (ALWAYS) without exception meet on neutral ground. It is easy to think about the safety of the SB, however, your safety is FAR more imperative here. You are the "money' man, and everyone knows it.

I feel so strongly about this, that I have refused to meet a couple of dozen SBs due to this self-imposed rule of mine. You have to view yourself as a potential target with any SB. My rule is very simple; first meeting in a public place, or no meet at all. SBs come and go. Not to sound harsh here, but there's an unlimited amount of them at your disposal. Never (ever) lose your upper hand inside the Sugar Bowl.

Cheers: Thresh.[/QUOTE]Great advise! I would add to this, might seem a little extreme, but record your encounters and text them about what they expect, want, and get followup communications as well. Put nothing past these girls. Many are indeed sweet, many are, or will become very jaded if you do not desire to continue seeing them. I have once been attempted to be extorted. I sent her the recording of the entire night and told her one more word and I was contacting the police. She apologized beyond my expectations. Freaked her out. And this was a girl I only met with, had a few drinks with and talked with. No sex, no intimacy. I had given her a nice gift even though we did not engage in intimacy as I liked her. All an act. A few days later I start getting texts how she is in trouble needs cash for XYZ. I wouldn't bite and she than just outright asked for the money. I said no, I do not do that. Then she starts texting me threats and she will find out if I have a wife or kids, and tell them what I am doing, meeting girls. I told her to go ahead, I'm single, nothing wrong with dating women. LOL. Then she said, "I'll tell everyone what happened. " I screenshot all her texts and sent them to her, along with a file of the entire night being recorded. She started apologizing and begging me not to report her. LOL.

I'm nice to any girl I meet. Very nice, just my nature and often times that is confused with weakness by these girls and attempts to take advantage. Once they start doing that, I will be come firm and stand my ground and most respect this and respond well.

A lot of these girls are not stable mentally. Sorry to be blunt, but they just aren't. They likely would never be on the site if they were. That is just a fact. I've dated a few very nice and fun girls, but at the end of the day, they were just so off and gave me the sense, they could turn psycho at any moment.

You cannot be too careful.

[QUOTE=MRCoop39;3118704]I decided to try SA out and found a SB that wanted to meet. We have already set up an arrangement.

She does not have transportation and she wants me to visit her home (not to pick her up and go to a hotel but have our fun there at a place that is near a rough part of Durham County).

I asked her a question about being an adult 18 or over, old enough to consent and she told me I was being weird (but never answered the question). I informed her that was a question designed for her safety and mines because a stranger is coming to her resident (where she says she will be alone) and I wanted to ensure she was of legal age because while she is sexy and her profile says she is 18.she looks young (and she never answered the question, she talked around the question, "you will see when you get here that I'm an adult".

What should I do? Just go to the meet and then request her I'd before we get into anything?[/QUOTE]I have met with several SBs claiming to be 18. I typically ask them to show me a picture I'd. One of my current SBs who is 19 now started on SA 2 months prior to her 18th birthday. I know this because I have been with her for over a year and know her birthdate and know when she started out on SA.

[URL]https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/6a61d038-e5b6-3850-cc5c-3359dd7a1638[/URL]

I've recently met with this one (M / G) and she seems fun and genuine. Am considering her for a LT SB. Something on the back of my mind is nagging at me and I don't know what it is though. I swear I've seen her tattoo (below clavicle) before somewhere. If anyone has any information they wish to share, PM me or post here before I pull the trigger! Thanks!

Yaya.

I have been away from the Hobby but the break allowed me to reflect. With all the risk of BP, I am considering SA. But it sounds like a lot of effort. I don't have a lot of time to be meeting and screening. I also don't have extra large amounts of cash. So my first question for the group is; how much time / effort are you putting into this and would it be better to go for angencies if my time is limited?

Second question; about how much should one expect to shell out for most encounters? I don't want to insult anyone.

Third; do I need to include a photo? I simply can't do that.

Final Question; how many ads are real? I checked out AM and ALL the profiles seemed fake to me, it was soooo obvious, especially when popular porn stars are featured, along with corny names all with with sex innuendo. And I think there was a revelation of people hired just to write fake profiles. SA free membership allows me to see basic info, it does not seem as fake. AF seems a bit fake. What is your experience with the truth in advertising?

Sorry for long post but thanks for info. I got into this hoping to find a few regulars I could get to know, like FWB, but that seems impossible with all the inconsistencies of BP gals. With tips, angencies would get expensive, with very limited time for the $.

[QUOTE=MrNCbob;3153488]I have been away from the Hobby but the break allowed me to reflect. With all the risk of BP, I am considering SA. But it sounds like a lot of effort. I don't have a lot of time to be meeting and screening. I also don't have extra large amounts of cash. So my first question for the group is; how much time / effort are you putting into this and would it be better to go for angencies if my time is limited?

Second question; about how much should one expect to shell out for most encounters? I don't want to insult anyone.

Third; do I need to include a photo? I simply can't do that.

Final Question; how many ads are real? I checked out AM and ALL the profiles seemed fake to me, it was soooo obvious, especially when popular porn stars are featured, along with corny names all with with sex innuendo. And I think there was a revelation of people hired just to write fake profiles. SA free membership allows me to see basic info, it does not seem as fake. AF seems a bit fake. What is your experience with the truth in advertising?

Sorry for long post but thanks for info. I got into this hoping to find a few regulars I could get to know, like FWB, but that seems impossible with all the inconsistencies of BP gals. With tips, angencies would get expensive, with very limited time for the $.[/QUOTE]If your time and funds are limited and you aren't planning to post a picture, then you shouldn't start this to be honest. The vast majority of the girls are very real, but it will take time for you to sort through profiles, send messages back and forth, and meet with them to see how compatible you both are. As most aren't pros, they will need to feel a connection with you in order to start things, so many won't entertain meeting someone that won't even post a picture of themselves. I post real photos of myself in the private area and give permission to view only to those that I'm interested in meeting. As far as cost, it really depends on the girl, but think of $$ to $$ per meet for most of them (per meet meaning multiple hours) some will ask for less / more but it's up to you to find those and negotiate. Good luck!