"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1408463]Gentlemen,

Polo and I are set for Friday! She texted me this morning to tell me that while she was shaving (her legs, I'm guessing, right?) she thought of me and couldn't wait for tomorrow. She also stated that she had a few new yoga positions that she wanted to try out with me. I can't quite believe there is anything new to do, but I am excited to see what she has in mind. I checked, and my health insurance is all paid up, so I'm good to go. Unfortunately, I am totally swamped at work, and so will not be able to luxuriate with her this time like before, but [I]some[/I] Time with her is better than none. I dream about her soft skin and thick chestnut hair.

As for ATF, we have a date set for Monday. She has indicated that her roommate is out of town visiting parents, so whatever is planned will either begin or end in bed, possibly both. Hooray, and hooray! Hopefully the beautiful, if unseasonal, weather we have been enjoying will hold, and we can spend some time outdoors. She is an avid cyclist, an interest I also share, so a long bike ride up the lakefront, followed by a fantastic lunch somewhere, followed by some Good Lovin' sounds like a day well spent, no?

On other fronts, hang in there, Magic. She will either come back to you or she won't, in which case we are here to help you grieve. Joe, you did the right thing, and as has been said already, you did not abandon anything more than a massive train wreck. Good job. Goga, good luck to you with your first forays into the SB world. You will have some failures, some near failures, and hopefully soon some success. Be patient, be honest with yourself and these little fish, and you will have a great time. There is nothing like it, trust me.

Take care, my brothers, and keep in touch.

Scott[/QUOTE]Thanks Scott. I look for the comments and feedback. I have my first date setup for Monday. And hope that happens. Asking more than I was expected. Being new. Have no idea. Plus shy. Where do you take SB for dinner when you know. That you could end up meeting someone you know (friends)? Rest. The knowledge here helped me to get on track. Also. Ya. Lots of rejection or winks but no followups.

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1408138]I believe the consensus on this is that there is no need to bring anything to the first M&G, but unless the baby has ordered already, I always pay for her coffee. If there is a followup for drinks or dinner, for example, some small token is not a bad idea. Hope this reply came in time. Let us know how things went.

Scott[/QUOTE]The first meeting with SB went well, ended up with dinner, that's all. Very professional. Didn't know what is coming. First time nervousness. Yes, I did give a small gift. As I wanted to get A+ on my first date. Anyway, I didn't find comments about the first date guideline much so. Went for it.

I hope to go for second date. Soon. Next week. Will post the update soon.

[url]http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/-Sugar-Daddies-Paying-Tuition-For-College-Women/-/1719418/2667702/-/u8674xz/-/index.html[/url]

[QUOTE=Castlerae; 1408603So why would a woman think a potential SD would drive that far?[/QUOTE]Occasionally I am contacted by out of town SD's and my first response is always,"I see you don't live here, do you travel here often for work". It's my polite way of saying, I'm not traveling to you. While I've started to travel a little bit, I really don't like to if I've not met the SD before. It's just a safety thing.

If you're not interested in traveling you may want to change your profile to say something like "only looking for a SB in this area". I know I see that a lot in profiles. So if yours isn't marked that way, it may be a bit of a signal that you're willing to either absorb the cost of bringing her to you or travel to her.

Hope that helps,

Mandy

I wanted to thank everyone again for the many insightful comments on my various questions over the last week. You've all given me much to ponder, even when we don't all agree. It will certainly help me hone my interviewing skills, and I am hopeful it will make me a better employer.

A quick update at the end of week one: I've conducted a second interview with potential employee #1, a late 20s cutie who is a lot of fun to be around. We both were nervous the first time, but that seemed to wear off as our second M&G progressed. The evening ended with an invitation back to her place, where we made out like teenagers. This one has excellent potential. Hoping for a third (and hopefully final) interview tomorrow, after which I will think carefully about whether to keep her on the company payroll.

I had a first interview set with #2 tonight but had to cancel because of work duties. She is open to trying again next week.

Finally, I received a promising response from an 18yo student. Her profile pics look gorgeous, but I will need to be careful with her. She has asked already for an agreement to an amount that I find unrealistic. I am not sure I will be able to arrange an interview with her, though it won't be for a lack of trying.

I read your blog early in my Sugar Journey and am fascinated by your unique take on the lifestyle. I think it will be good for us to have the perspective of a Sugar Baby and any advice is always welcome. As you well know guys need all the help we can get. And any friend of Scotts is a friend indeed.

I have many questions for you and perhaps I need to go back and reread your blog, but primarily, do you enjoy a passionate and loving relationship with your husband or is that part of the marriage missing, therefore leading to seeking passion with others?

[QUOTE=Hernando;1408955]primarily, do you enjoy a passionate and loving relationship with your husband or is that part of the marriage missing, therefore leading to seeking passion with others?[/QUOTE]Hernando, great question! Although I refrain from writing about my husband in my blog, we do have a great supportive, loving and caring marriage and we still play with each other. It's not as passionate as it was when we first met, but we've been together for almost 11 years now.

We decided to venture into an open marriage because for a while we played in the swingers lifestyle and just found that being the "young, barbie doll couple" in that world means that drama follows you whether you want it to or not. So, we withdrew from it but we still both very much enjoyed seeing the other happy to go do what they wanted and that just evolved into an open marriage. Right now, it really works well for us because we live apart while I'm in school. Career wise it didn't make sense for him to move until I'm done and we know where I'm going to end up working.

The only thing I will say that is missing from my marriage that I find in the "sugar world" is that mentor aspect. As you can see on my blog, my sugar daddies have all been very affluent, educated and successful. I love engaging in conversation and learning from them. While my husband is successful in his own right and I'm very proud of him, it's not in the corporate world.

And, for those of you curious. He has a girlfriend (not an SB) as well. A cute little 20 something who I will admit is the exact opposite of me. She is very sweet and respectful of our marriage and I was really happy for him when he finally found someone. I know, not something you would typically hear from the wife.

Thanks for reading!

Mandy

I do want to thank you all for providing much more interesting reading for my spring break than the "prep-work" that I should be doing before classes start next week. But, you've made me think of a question that I have for you.

Many of you have a "stable" of SB's that you play with and well my dead Scott I just finished reading about your fantastic Monday the other week. What I've read before is that SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies. As I get ready to approach my own multiple SD week, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

Mandy

[QUOTE=Hernando;1408955]I think it will be good for us to have the perspective of a Sugar Baby and any advice is always welcome. As you well know guys need all the help we can get.[/QUOTE]I second this completely. Mandy's comments to Castle and Magic were insightful and to the point, in my opinion. We daddies can speculate on a baby's behavior all we want; there is no substitute for the real thing telling it like it is. (whoa, I feel like I'm channeling dialogue from Shaft!)

Peace, my brothers. At this time tomorrow I will be limping back to my desk after a thorough pummeling by my lovely Polo.

Cheers,

Scott

Hey, 200 posts! Drinks are on me!

As I've posted before, I've focused my attention on only 1 SB. Unlike most posters, I'm completely single and unattached so I don't have a significant other to add complications. Things have gone exceedingly well between us to the point that she wants me to meet her parents this weekend. She's told them that she's dating a guy 20 years older and says while they're not thrilled about it, they've accepted it. They don't know how we began, but I'm sure they will deduce I am supporting her financially.

I'm not the least bit concerned with how her parents will react to me because I can handle myself, but I wonder if she really knows how to handle it herself. I've brought it up to her and she laughs it off. We'll see how it goes.

[QUOTE=Gogababa;1408645]Thanks Scott. I look for the comments and feedback. I have my first date setup for Monday. And hope that happens. Asking more than I was expected. Being new. Have no idea. Plus shy. Where do you take SB for dinner when you know. That you could end up meeting someone you know (friends)? Rest. The knowledge here helped me to get on track. Also. Ya. Lots of rejection or winks but no followups.[/QUOTE]It's probably the best advice that I've read on a sugar blog. Take her anywhere you like. My particular favorites are nice steak / seafood places. But have a story lined up for that just in case encounter with someone who knows you. The story for my first SD was that I was the wife of an old friend of his and we were waiting for him to show up. If the person he knew lingered, I was supposed to fake a text that explained he got caught up at work and wouldn't be able to join us. It was a story he created, shared with me and thank god we never had to use it.

Good luck on the date!

Mandy

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409040]Many of you have a "stable" of SB's that you play with and well my dear Scott I just finished reading about your fantastic Monday the other week. What I've read before is that SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies. As I get ready to approach my own multiple SD week, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

Mandy[/QUOTE]Speaking for myself, I am under no delusion that any baby I see won't probably have something else going on on the side, but I guess I just don't want to know about it. We have discussed the concept of "monogamy" many times here, and there are as many interpretations of the word as there are SDs. In my mind, it comes down to this: should we expect something from our babies, or you from your daddies, that we are not willing to abide by ourselves? Or conversely, should we expect something of ourselves that we do not ask of our babies? For a while, I was trying to be monogamous with my ATF, even though she had not asked it of me, nor had we even discussed it. It was like I had put myself on double secret probation for no reason, and it was creating a great deal of anxiety for me, because for some reason I also assumed she would do the same. Once I let it go, I felt a lot better about where my imagination was going about what she might be doing when I couldn't get together with my ATF.

The truth for most of us, who are married but in a more traditional arrangement, is that any time spent with our babies is special,"stolen" time, ATF calls it her "vacation", and shouldn't be cluttered up with tangled emotions and hurt feelings. No need to mention other SDs, nor ask about other babies. I can't see it leading anywhere good. Preserve the illusion, Mandy, for yourself and your SDs, and let the time you spend with them be only about the two of you. From your blog, I sense that you are pretty good at doing that. Nando, you had better weigh in on this as well, my brother, as I know you struggle with this issue with your HCB.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

Scott

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409128]It's probably the best advice that I've read on a sugar blog. Take her anywhere you like. My particular favorites are nice steak / seafood places. But have a story lined up for that just in case encounter with someone who knows you. The story for my first SD was that I was the wife of an old friend of his and we were waiting for him to show up. If the person he knew lingered, I was supposed to fake a text that explained he got caught up at work and wouldn't be able to join us. It was a story he created, shared with me and thank god we never had to use it.

Good luck on the date!

Mandy[/QUOTE]You all are wonderful to guide me through this. I am excited about next week. Preparing myself. This was a great advise.

Will update next week. With my detail. Scott: Good luck for tomorrow. Waiting for updates.

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1408869]Occasionally I am contacted by out of town SD's and my first response is always,"I see you don't live here, do you travel here often for work". It's my polite way of saying, I'm not traveling to you. While I've started to travel a little bit, I really don't like to if I've not met the SD before. It's just a safety thing.

If you're not interested in traveling you may want to change your profile to say something like "only looking for a SB in this area". I know I see that a lot in profiles. So if yours isn't marked that way, it may be a bit of a signal that you're willing to either absorb the cost of bringing her to you or travel to her.

Hope that helps,

Mandy[/QUOTE]Thanks for the advice, Mandy. I left the distance open on my profile because I wanted to give myself the option of accessing all the SB's in the Chicago suburbs. So far, none have really stood out, so maybe it's time to accept reality and keep the 'shopping' local.

To answer your question about whether I'm going to demand / expect a SB to just see me, I don't think so. What she might do is something I can't monitor unless I find one who wants to move in with me, which I don't see happening. So as long as everything is working out while we're together, what she does away from me is not my concern.

[QUOTE=Spitfire; 1409101]As I've posted before, I've focused my attention on only 1 SB. Unlike most posters, I'm completely single and unattached so I don't have a significant other to add complications. Things have gone exceedingly well between us to the point that she wants me to meet her parents this weekend. She's told them that she's dating a guy 20 years older and says while they're not thrilled about it, they've accepted it. They don't know how we began, but I'm sure they will deduce I am supporting her financially.

I'm not the least bit concerned with how her parents will react to me because I can handle myself, but I wonder if she really knows how to handle it herself. I've brought it up to her and she laughs it off. We'll see how it goes.[/QUOTE]Good luck with this, Spit. Just out of curiosity, where do you see this headed, long term?

Scott