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"BAIL EM OUT! ????
Hell, back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country and our banking system to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a ***** house and selling whiskey!"
[QUOTE=A John]"BAIL EM OUT!
Hell, back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country and our banking system to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a ***** house and selling whiskey!"[/QUOTE]And you did not see six thousand names in the news paper! Conforte [(Sp.) owner of Mustang Ranch] could run for run for President and give back taxes instead of paying them! Ah Those were the days! HH
[QUOTE=SgtPerv]Just like a woman to tease you.
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I would say, with his attitude he deserved it.
Almost too good to be true:
Send 'em Up!
In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.
This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving them your call sign, transponder code, type of aircraft, and points of origin and destination.
I just flew with a guy who overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai . It's too good not to pass along.
The conversation went like this...
Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Radar: (no response ... total silence)
HALLOWEEN CAN BE FUN
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A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in
Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The
Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no
woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly
pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican
woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican
woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely
'impeckable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could
do it and accepted the challenge.
The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker
successfully pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree
almost without breaking a sweat.
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that
the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree,
and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian
tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own
country?
After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same
conclusion:
Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you're away
from home.
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history Here's your equipment.- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first? "
The girl says, "I'll go first. "
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor.
He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life. " He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that? "
The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that God damn lion out of the way. "
You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... You need to fart.
The music on the bus is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After A couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and looking really angry that's when you remember: you've been listening to your ipod.
PENIS on the mind.
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1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big penis or a
good memory.. I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive
to men - 'don't' and 'stop',
(unless they are used together.)
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and
. ..Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured!
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
....you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small..
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss,
....only down under.
14. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
15. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
16. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed',
many men still sleep with their wives!!
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
'Here's to spending the
rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won
the prize for the Best
toast of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your
toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of
me life, sitting in
church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary
said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's
drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won
the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You
know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'
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NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.
This means something, and you should be on your toes.
Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.