Issues with EMonkey reviews.
[QUOTE=Schmoopy;4245399]If you read her reviews on EMonkey, the good ones are similar and written like an advertisement, and most of those are from accounts with one review (for her). Hmmmm.[/QUOTE]EMonkey is better than nothing, I guess, but it's nowhere near as good as TER was. Here are some of the issues I've found, and I'm sure other members can add to the list.
Nothing prevents providers (or pimps & friends) from registering and posting self-reviews.
Granting free (7 days) VIP access for posting reviews can result in bogus reports.
Providers can have negative reviews removed. One specific example relates to Latina Alexa in Tysons. I noticed a negative review about her that was gone a few days later.
All of the above also applied to TER but the sheer volume of reviews made it easier to pick out the bogus ones. TER also made providers jump through some hoops to get reviews removed. They generally couldn't do it just because they didn't like what was written.
As with all things in the hobby, good homework and thinking with the big head is advised. And reading reviews with a critical and skeptical eye, plus confirming via this forum, is part of that process. Always good to remember that everyone out there wants to get their hands on your money and you're the only one who can ensure you receive fair value in return.
Joan / An in Annandale (Luna's place) - Avoid
I was browsing the massage ads on bedpage late yesterday afternoon. I tried a couple. One no answer, one too far away. Before seeing another for "Joana" in Annandale. Pictures were not great or terrible. I have looked for the ad again today to include the link, but I don't see it right now. It may not reappear.
Woman answered with passable but not great English. I quickly established that she was working out of Luna's apartment in the Annandale complex. I had seen Luna some time ago. Seems that she is away temporarily.
I go to the apartment, door opens. It's a 40 ish woman, a little plump, Asian features, quite average in looks. The pictures in the ad were not actually her, but they were not far off. She's friendly and I decide to go ahead and try. $120.
She leads me to the bedroom where the massage table is set up. Familiar setting since I had been there before a while ago to see Luna, and then Jewel. I take a quick shower and lay down.
She starts the massage, and I strike up some conversation. She is there because of Luna. She is Thai, from Bangkok. Says her name is "An" or "Ana".
During the first few minutes she does some typical amateur things. Uses way too much lotion, and seems to move around my body haphazardly working different areas at random. I try to give her some direction, but there is some language barrier. I determine that she is new at this, and has just started. Has no massage training.
I could just imagine Luna (or whoever finances her) wanting to keeping the apartment producing revenue while Luna is away, so they pull in this newbie. A 15-minute training session from Luna -- "Here, you just use this lotion, rub here then here then here, do the light touch on their ass, reach underneath, they'll turn over and want you to touch them, but ask for the money before you put your hand on their dick, and get more if they want to play with your tits. Don't worry, it's easy. ".
Or at least that's how it played out.
Ana actually did an OK job in some parts, using her forearms pretty well at times. But like I said, she skips around, and I was slick with lotion. I like the progression from shoulders and back to legs then butt then teasing, but she skipped around, so it was disorienting. Communication about the fine points of style were difficult. She also started discouraging my wandering hands.
Time for the flip. She pointed, and I nodded and she immediately did the fingertip-rub asking for the $ upfront. I was somewhat put off but I got up and gave her $40. I then asked her to drop the top, and guess what, she can say "20 more". That was the tipping point. I took the 40 back (I was standing up), picked up my clothes, told her it was over and headed for the shower.
Of course she reacted with some surprise, and started apologizing. I told her "that's too much. You're new, you're learning. " I wasn't clear if she meant to forget the extra $, she would just give me a release gratis (well, not gratis, but just included in the upfront fee), but at that point (a) the mood had tanked and (b) I had severe doubts that she could drive a dick very well.
Basically, Luna had told her to ask for A team pricing, but she was somewhere in the C or D leagues.
I spent a good 5+ minutes showering off all the lotion, got dressed, and emerged from the bathroom.
She continued to be apologetic and offered me $20 back. Not a great gesture, but a nice gesture. I just said again "You're still learning. Do you really want to do this?" and left it at that. Oh, and she did offer a water bottle.
Sorry if this was too long. I'm just processing the disappointment. I tend to decide last minute to go mongering, rather than set up an appointment well in advance with a known trusted provider, and so this is the consequence sometimes.
L.
