"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=JZLizard;3109104]The things I've written here that are subject to interpretation as dogmatic beliefs should be reconsidered; I only know what works for me and gives me peace of mind in my own situation. Behavioral dynamics, particularly when it comes to dating chemistry, is complex and unpredictable sometimes. It has taken me a long time to figure out what works for me individually, and I doubt there's enough years in a lifetime for any one person to figure out what works for someone else. In other words, take my philosophies with a grain of salt. If something I write here seems admonitory at all, it should be viewed in a different light to examine situational applicability.

Making sure I gift them is the right thing to do for me. There have been other brothers here in the past that have taken girls off the payroll completely, turning them into relationships. Nothing wrong with doing that, it's just not what I want.

As far as I know, I am the only one here who struggles with the fact that my desire to be able to be 100% honest with my SO about everything all the time is only slightly less dominant than my need for sexual variety. That is an inner conflict that, if nobody else has, they should be thankful because it makes things challenging. It also has tremendous impact on one's decisions and perspective. I will be thankful if one day my brain and heart learn to completely overtake my libido with regard to decision making. For those that stay with their wives only as a convenience or to avoid serious financial implications, IMO to some extent they should be thankful for the simplicity of their situation, it removes from the table the most complex question of whether to do this all, and allows you to focus on easier problems to solve, like how to get away with it and how much to pay, etc.[/QUOTE]JL. Your posts are thoughtful and thorough, and you tend to take a worldview similar to mine about the bowl. It is far preferable to me than escorts because of its hints of reality along with the fantasy, and far higher quality. I don't have to read escort reviews of BP girls on this site for long to know that 's not for me. As a married SD, I am also very wary of STDs, etc. So, I have benefited from your thinking and adopted a lot of it simply because it resonates. I also try to minimize the falsehoods I have to foist on the SO, b / c there are strong aspects of our relationship and I'm not looking to make any changes. There would also be serious $ penalties if we parted, with or w / o knowledge of my sugaring, so that's extra incentive. I'd think there are a few of us in the bowl who are in similar situations. So continuing to lay out your perspective is valuable.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3108071]Several experienced SDs have reported either in the thread or in PMs that they have had their SBs transition to a no or minimal sugar relationship after a while. I would like to know if there were any indicators early on this might happen (excepting those true masters who never promise any sugar and just gift what they feel like. We'd all like to be there but I don't have the chops). I can guess it could occur in a situation where the baby develops some feelings, or perhaps has daddy issues, or whatever. Seems more likely with a younger baby who is playing into the fantasy rather than an older seasoned mercenary. I am taking on board a new SB. If I make a guess that this is going to happen, it helps me project lower long term allowance costs (I prefer a monthly).[/QUOTE]For me, transition isn't something I crave. While I'm sure it's GREAT for some SDs, I prefer to keep things a bit more transactional than transitional. Helps keep things lite and easy, and whenever I'm seeking to switch things up there aren't all the pesky emotions involved. Rather than "pay to stay" I'd rather "pay to play. Then LEAVE".

[QUOTE=Donatello;3109909]For me, transition isn't something I crave. While I'm sure it's GREAT for some SDs, I prefer to keep things a bit more transactional than transitional. Helps keep things lite and easy, and whenever I'm seeking to switch things up there aren't all the pesky emotions involved. Rather than "pay to stay" I'd rather "pay to play. Then LEAVE".[/QUOTE]Given your approach, I wonder why you don't go with a classy escort (not a BP girl) rather than a SB. JL has written about the pluses and minuses of each. With an escort there is no risk of her coming home to roost.

Check out this UVA girl. Told me IF and ONLY IF she really hit it off after several paid coffees and lunches, she would be willing to get naked and masturbate for me to watch, but under no circumstances would touch me or let me touch her.

[URL]https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/66e06078-c4e1-43e4-b50c-e12a333d404d[/URL]

She expressed amazement at how hard it was to find someone agreeable to pay her a moderate allowance to bask in the presence of her company!

[QUOTE=JZLizard;3109284]I think you're right that there is commonality among the reasons each of us partake in the bowl. Usually, it seems, there are two broad categories of guys here: those that are single and using the bowl as an extension of dating, or those that have an SO but are missing something at home. I'm content with my SO and not missing anything. All relationships have disagreements and such, but overall I can't complain about her. My weakness is when either I travel or she travels -- the idea of burying my nose in a book to occupy the time always seems to lose out to the idea of burying my cock in some hot young girl. Problem is, in order to do so requires some amount of preparation work (especially if you weed out the girls that insist on talking money up front, because it narrows your list of choices somewhat). Then I find myself bothered by the amount of time and effort it takes to catalog POTS, keep notes on who is who, and do the mental sorting and juggling dance of who is who in each city.

The dating and sex of course is fun, and even reminiscing about it brings back fond memories, but I have not convinced myself it's worth it overall. Honestly if someone said I could take a pill right now that would subdue my craving for strange pussy and stick to my SO I'd go for it in a heartbeat. Until then I just kind of hang on until hopefully one day neither she nor I travels, or maybe even with all my planning I end up getting some sort of wake up call that inspires me to stop doing this.

It might sound like BS but I really do want to stop.[/QUOTE]I had a wonderful real Italian friend who died suddenly a few years back. He told me a great Italian motto:

The pull of a single pubic hair is stronger than a locomotive.

[QUOTE=CarltonW;3110631]Check out this UVA girl. Told me IF and ONLY IF she really hit it off after several paid coffees and lunches, she would be willing to get naked and masturbate for me to watch, but under no circumstances would touch me or let me touch her.

[URL]https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/66e06078-c4e1-43e4-b50c-e12a333d404d[/URL]

She expressed amazement at how hard it was to find someone agreeable to pay her a moderate allowance to bask in the presence of her company![/QUOTE]I was intrigued until the last photo, which is a let down on her body.

Just happened to be on the Help page of SA and found this:

Prepaid credit cards: If you are experiencing an issue paying with a prepaid card, please contact us with the card details and we'll be glad to manually run the card through our provider. Otherwise, you may need to purchase a prepaid card that allows international transactions.

Discover Cards: You can use a Discover card by choosing Paypal at check out (No PayPal account is required).

In a different part of the help page, I also found this:

Google Play / iTunes payments via our Android or iOS apps: We have Android and iOS apps that you can pay via Google Play / iTunes. Additionally, there are usually Google Play and iTunes gift cards in most grocery stores that you can load your account with.

Someone needs to try this out. I haven't heard of anyone on this board using this. I don't use SA from a smartphone, and if that's the only way this works, too bad.

I also stumbled on this, which I'd never even heard of -.

The Diamond Sugar Daddy Membership is offered automatically on our website after certain criteria are met. Qualifications include:

Two (2) consecutive months of a paid Premium membership.

Background Check Verified -or-.

Have an approved Diamond Application.

Seems like low value.

I have also found myself in a "transitional" relationship. I just met my SB 2 weeks ago and we hit it off immediately. Sex is phenomenal, as is her ability to hold a fun texting relationship. Originally the basis was going to be a PayPerPlay $300 up to $1 K a month, with meetings roughly once a week. However, she kept missing me, and I her, so we've seen each other about once every 4 days. I can tell that she's catching feelings, and I'm feeling a little giddy myself. I have to reign this in.

First meeting I gave her $300.

Second meeting (3 days after 1st) I asked what I owed her and she said not to pay her because I had just paid her 3 days earlier.

Third meeting, I asked what she would like and she said that our relationship is deeper than a monetary one, and does not want to be paid as if that is the basis of our relationship.

This SB is 20, smart, is in a competitive college program and has a job. She is sexy as hell and loves the D. Yet, she wants only mine. She's told me that she has feelings, and I admit to a little of the same. Have I hit the lottery or will trouble be brewing?

[blue]Cautious optimism hoss. See what happens over time. All mistakes in relationships are related to pace.

A2[/blue]

I read an interesting quote from a baby's profile on SA recently:

"It seems like the younger men on here think they're entitled to everything because they're not "Old rich men. "I'm just here to tell you the ratio from "old men" to you guys on here is the same so don't message me acting like you're entitled to everything a woman has to offer. ".

First off this girl has some attitude in her profile and clearly seems GPS. What I thought was interesting was her observation of the number of younger guys on the site and their expectation of preferential treatment because they aren't an "old rich guy".

I certainly think that being younger and attractive gives advantages over being older and unattractive. But girls don't join SD sites looking for younger guys without money. They can find that all around them. They clearly chose an SD site because they are interested in an allowance or in some cases drawn to the power, wisdom and experience that a successful older man can offer.

I know we have some younger (under 40) brothers on the board. I'd be curious to understand their perspective.

You're on the money but I don't use streetwalkers or escorts. You could replace w barflys at top of list =).

Sugarbabies don't cost shit if you have game and work it right BTW!

[QUOTE=Madaboutmax;3109153]I've had several that have transitioned to more of a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship, but I wouldn't consider that the less expensive option.

Using a TCO (Total Cost of Ownership) method, I would rank relationship costs from lowest to highest as follows:

Streetwalker.

Escort.
ont
Sugar Baby.

Girlfriend.

Wife.

Ex-wife.

You may not pay a transactional fee for a girlfriend, but there are much higher expectations of helping when the need arises (dates, trips, rent, phone bill, tuition, legal fees, etc).[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=DrMcNaughty;3111496]

Sugarbabies don't cost shit if you have game and work it right BTW![/QUOTE]Hmmm, love to learn how it is you do that! I always defer the old joke. How's Life treating you? It isn't, I'm paying my own way! What are the secrets? What can you teach me?

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3111441]Just happened to be on the Help page of SA and found this:

Prepaid credit cards: If you are experiencing an issue paying with a prepaid card, please contact us with the card details and we'll be glad to manually run the card through our provider. Otherwise, you may need to purchase a prepaid card that allows international transactions.

Discover Cards: You can use a Discover card by choosing Paypal at check out (No PayPal account is required).

In a different part of the help page, I also found this:

Google Play / iTunes payments via our Android or iOS apps: We have Android and iOS apps that you can pay via Google Play / iTunes. Additionally, there are usually Google Play and iTunes gift cards in most grocery stores that you can load your account with.

Someone needs to try this out. I haven't heard of anyone on this board using this. I don't use SA from a smartphone, and if that's the only way this works, too bad.

I also stumbled on this, which I'd never even heard of -.

The Diamond Sugar Daddy Membership is offered automatically on our website after certain criteria are met. Qualifications include:

Two (2) consecutive months of a paid Premium membership.

Background Check Verified -or-.

Have an approved Diamond Application.

Seems like low value.[/QUOTE]Background checks usually don't on the fictional identity that most seem to use here and if not mistaken that background check runs you 2-3 hundred in that neighborhood. Kind of defeats the purpose of the cloak and dagger sustem.

Who will help her reach her goals and actualize her potential or get help from her SO who is in an open relationship.

[QUOTE=CarltonW;3110631]...She expressed amazement at how hard it was to find someone agreeable to pay her a moderate allowance to bask in the presence of her company![/QUOTE]

If you're not providing an allowance, should it be classified as sugar dating at all? Instead, isn't it just dating?

I'm assuming of course that you're not making promises to a pot and then just not following through. Guess that's an option, and to each his own, but not sure how comfortable I would be with doing that. Just my personal opinion since I am a firm believer if Karma.

[QUOTE=DrMcNaughty;3111496]You're on the money but I don't use streetwalkers or escorts. You could replace w barflys at top of list =).

Sugarbabies don't cost shit if you have game and work it right BTW![/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=IluvSmellyFish;3111856]If you're not providing an allowance, should it be classified as sugar dating at all? Instead, isn't it just dating?

I'm assuming of course that you're not making promises to a pot and then just not following through. Guess that's an option, and to each his own, but not sure how comfortable I would be with doing that. Just my personal opinion since I am a firm believer if Karma.[/QUOTE]I would think that the big difference over conventional "dating" is that the SBs know in advance what they're in for. A SD who is probably married who is looking for a low drama, NSA, convenient source of honey. It's amazing to me the number of women out there who are just naturally drawn to older men.