"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

So I got thrown for a loop when talking with a friend of mine said that he would check IDs of 18/19 years olds because of the "strict liability"even if they were on a site that was designed for 18+, if they're not you're still liable. [URL]http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2007/08/but-her-profile-said-she-was-18-jail-cell-judge-rules/[/URL].

So I found a great 19 year old, she's always claimed she's 19. My understanding in like the Chris Hansen videos, the girls definitely say they're underage. Again after reading other law blogs, the question comes down to "any reasonable person would have known she was a minor".

Plus I live on the border and I always wonder how the Mann act goes into effect for simply crossing a river.

How have you guys gotten around this issue?

Please feel to PM me for more details and thoughts.

J.

I may have missed it, but was anyone able to figure out if OneVanulla is go or no-go on SA?

[QUOTE=Assaholic;3065697]I may have missed it, but was anyone able to figure out if OneVanulla is go or no-go on SA?[/QUOTE]I literally upgraded just today. I got nothing to work and started emailing to all the payment vendors I had receipts from in the past. W8 tech, PaymentWall, etc. I got some helpful person who was able to take all the info off the card and submit the charge, and it went through. The only qualifier was that it charges as SeekingArr, but I said I didn't care as it was a prepaid. My card had $75 on it. They also said they are having beaucoup problems with US members using prepaid cards and they expect to have a solution shortly (but that does no good today).

Just be sure never to use a card you have used for SA with other charges that could be directly linked to you (cell phone service, for example, if you aren't using a burner). I always just get $75.

Thanks FarFar, I appreciate it. I don't have an SO and my security requirements are minimal, so I don't care if things get charged on the same bill. I just don't want my real CC or PayPal # in their database in case of another AM fiasco, or in case one day they decide to auto-renew without my wanting it. I guess I'll just wait until they sort this out before I dip my toes in.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3065783]I literally upgraded just today. I got nothing to work and started emailing to all the payment vendors I had receipts from in the past. W8 tech, PaymentWall, etc. I got some helpful person who was able to take all the info off the card and submit the charge, and it went through. The only qualifier was that it charges as SeekingArr, but I said I didn't care as it was a prepaid. My card had $75 on it. They also said they are having beaucoup problems with US members using prepaid cards and they expect to have a solution shortly (but that does no good today).

Just be sure never to use a card you have used for SA with other charges that could be directly linked to you (cell phone service, for example, if you aren't using a burner). I always just get $75.[/QUOTE]

While I know all woman are like that, do all woman lie and say they have never met anyone on SA before? I've heard it enough to think it's true, maybe 10% of contacts admit to meeting someone before. Maybe it's my area. Some girls have been on a few months some a year. Just seems crazy with how frequently they are online. Do these guys end up trying to impress through how romantic they are and end up being pen pals?

[QUOTE=Moohk;3066909]While I know all woman are like that, do all woman lie and say they have never met anyone on SA before? I've heard it enough to think it's true, maybe 10% of contacts admit to meeting someone before. Maybe it's my area. Some girls have been on a few months some a year. Just seems crazy with how frequently they are online. Do these guys end up trying to impress through how romantic they are and end up being pen pals?[/QUOTE]I think there is something about the way the female mind is wired that causes them to downplay any hint of promiscuity or related floozy-shame. I say "wired" because it's beyond just learned cultural expectations, it seems to go deeper than that. Many of them try to address it with a reverse-strategy (I. E. Playfully flaunting their sexuality for shock value), but that's usually just a cover up to a larger insecurity.

But in this case I'm not sure it applies, because I find that very few of these girls consider being an SB to be anything to be ashamed of, it's like it's not even in the same category as the promiscuity-shame mentioned above. At least that's the case with most of the girls I've met.

I'd say most of the ones I've met tell me they've had an SD (or at least something close, a significantly older boyfriend that helped them in some way). But then I tend to not pry too much about it, I usually tell them a little about my own background and what my arrangements were like in the past and they will usually do the same. Are they telling me everything? Hell no.

Maybe I put off a vibe that makes them feel they won't be judged, by laying out my own story first? Who knows.

[QUOTE=Moohk;3066909]While I know all woman are like that, do all woman lie and say they have never met anyone on SA before? I've heard it enough to think it's true, maybe 10% of contacts admit to meeting someone before. Maybe it's my area. Some girls have been on a few months some a year. Just seems crazy with how frequently they are online. Do these guys end up trying to impress through how romantic they are and end up being pen pals?[/QUOTE]Lots of women have told me they have met men and that they are all creeps, cheap or don't live up to promises, no doubt to discourage more of the same and to bolster their own standing as being picky to meet anyone going forward.

[QUOTE=Moohk;3066909]While I know all woman are like that, do all woman lie and say they have never met anyone on SA before? I've heard it enough to think it's true, maybe 10% of contacts admit to meeting someone before. Maybe it's my area. Some girls have been on a few months some a year. Just seems crazy with how frequently they are online. Do these guys end up trying to impress through how romantic they are and end up being pen pals?[/QUOTE]I had one that I saw from June of last year message me at my new user name on SA recently saying she was new to this and wanted to see an older man as her first time as a sugar baby. Almost the same thing she wrote me last year. So I wrote back I would see her if she wore the same red dress she wore last time we went out. Got a one word "sorry" as her reply.

As for myself I only say I have had two successful arrangements and a few that just ended at dinner. Most never ask me to to tell more them about it.

I went back into the highlights and found post #2643 about how to keep your identity secret in a hotel room w / a SB. This is imperative. I had an experience a few years ago with a CL girl, not a SB, that curdled the blood. I made many mistakes here, first not asking for a photo before, relying on her honesty. She showed up at the door and I could see through the peephole she was large. I foolishly invited her in and she excused herself to the bathroom. We discussed matters for a few minutes and I suggested she wasn't really my type and I would give her half the agreed amount and she could just leave. She became irate (mock), etc. Etc. I am guessing she had played this game before. She then stated she had hacked my computer with her iPad while we were sitting there and she knew who I was and was going to be calling my SO unless I gave her the agreed-upon amount. Not true, what she had really done is look at my business card that I had left in my TSA-approved liquids bag that was in the bathroom. REALLY dumb on my part. I ended up giving her literally every bill I had, and still she emailed me for 2-3 days saying she needed to go shopping, etc. I lived in fear for quite some time afterward.

For those of you who see SBs when traveling on business (which I will be doing shortly), any other pointers on what not to do? I don't see specifics on the thread.

Well to add to what's been said about some women, here is mine. Just met one today, after trying to meet this one or to get any attention from her for several months. I wanted to taste some asian pussy, since haven't had any for long time, NOVA spas and the Tysons once spent so much there, had several once, but not lately. So I have been itching to get some. This girl is in her late 30's it is very unusual for me to see some one that old. Anyway, she is tiny and in every way, not so hot but thinks of herself to be all that!! She wants a very handsome, fit and rich guy and has too many picky things she lists out. I am so glad I just spent 10 dollars on her that is even too much. Don't think she is going to putout. So glad to cross one out. This is not normal for me met many of the young once go straight to the FC. Waiting for really hot mixed 19 yr old taking her to FC next week, could have done it today, it is that time of the month and she keeps feeding me with hot pics.

Well I am not sure how we can ask some these women to show their I'd's when all of involved are trying to be discreet and keep their true identity secret. The best thing is to avoid the once who look like they may be under 18, I had asked a girl one time if she really was 19 as she claimed since she said she does not drive and lives with her parents, well she got mad and blocked me!!

Now some of us talked about a profile on here several months ago, we came across from W'burg. Her posted pics looked so young and hope to god no one really got her meet, eventually profile is gone now. There was another one in F'burg similar type with very young looking pics as well, avoid them all together. Some of thees girls are from broken families and done really care how to get some attention! All in all I think it is up to the adults to adults weed carefully.

Stay careful.

S2568.

[QUOTE=Jayb20;3065639]So I got thrown for a loop when talking with a friend of mine said that he would check IDs of 18/19 years olds because of the "strict liability"even if they were on a site that was designed for 18+, if they're not you're still liable. [URL]http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2007/08/but-her-profile-said-she-was-18-jail-cell-judge-rules/[/URL].

So I found a great 19 year old, she's always claimed she's 19. My understanding in like the Chris Hansen videos, the girls definitely say they're underage. Again after reading other law blogs, the question comes down to "any reasonable person would have known she was a minor".

Plus I live on the border and I always wonder how the Mann act goes into effect for simply crossing a river.

How have you guys gotten around this issue?

Please feel to PM me for more details and thoughts.

J.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3067913]I went back into the highlights and found post #2643 about how to keep your identity secret in a hotel room w / a SB. This is imperative. I had an experience a few years ago with a CL girl, not a SB, that curdled the blood. I made many mistakes here, first not asking for a photo before, relying on her honesty. She showed up at the door and I could see through the peephole she was large. I foolishly invited her in and she excused herself to the bathroom. We discussed matters for a few minutes and I suggested she wasn't really my type and I would give her half the agreed amount and she could just leave. She became irate (mock), etc. Etc. I am guessing she had played this game before. She then stated she had hacked my computer with her iPad while we were sitting there and she knew who I was and was going to be calling my SO unless I gave her the agreed-upon amount. Not true, what she had really done is look at my business card that I had left in my TSA-approved liquids bag that was in the bathroom. REALLY dumb on my part. I ended up giving her literally every bill I had, and still she emailed me for 2-3 days saying she needed to go shopping, etc. I lived in fear for quite some time afterward.

For those of you who see SBs when traveling on business (which I will be doing shortly), any other pointers on what not to do? I don't see specifics on the thread.[/QUOTE]Perhaps obvious after your example, but lock away anything with your identity on it. Just a briefcase with a lock on it usually works. Things I commonly make a mental note to tuck away somewhere else are things like registration / insurance info that would normally be in my glove box if its my vehicle, or the paperwork if its a rental. When possible I try to book at hotels that have some sort of parking security, like a gate to enter the property, or a valet-guarded lot, etc. This is because its not uncommon for them (SBs or strippers etc) to follow me back to my place, and I want to prevent two things: 1) if things go horribly sideways I don't want the vehicle keyed or tires slashed. Not that likely, but 2) and much more common, I simply don't want them to see if I am in my room or not. For example I might have another date the next night and don't want the prior night's date showing up for an unexpected visit. Sometimes, especially in urban / downtown / walkable areas, I can operate without them ever seeing my vehicle (I. E. Its parked in a garage and they take a cab to meet me at some place within walking distance to my hotel). That's ideal but not always possible.

I never let a girl come straight to my room for first meet. Meeting is always somewhere else. Main reason is because she may not look like her pics, but there are other benefits. With a recent SB M&G I was unusually pressed for time, needed to get up early and drive to another city the next morning, so I set up the meeting for a restaurant that was literally across the street from my hotel. I thought it would be nice if I could use that extra hour or so toward creative fucking rather than spend it inside the restaurant on useless small talk. So, I told her to meet me in the parking lot of the restaurant. The idea was to skip the time and expense of the dinner meet and just go back to my room, a risky move I don't normally attempt. I decided to play it by ear, going with instinct. So we met in the parking lot, I got out and hugged her, my intuition said go for it so I said "I'm so sorry but I'm running a little later than usual, do you mind if we make the best use of time and skip dinner"? Off to the room we go for some epic fucking, no drinks or dinner. Note the hug was key there, it would have been awkward without some physical contact and show of affection. Had she turned out to be different than her pics, I could have just gone inside, eaten dinner and called the night a loss, but it was a win that night.

You might ask them not to put a receipt under the door in the morning in case she ends up spending the night (something you often just don't know whether or not is going to happen at time of check-in). And if she does, try to get up early and check to intercept it.

I've actually had good luck overall with these girls not prying too much into that sort of thing.

[QUOTE=S2568;3068007]Well I am not sure how we can ask some these women to show their I'd's when all of involved are trying to be discreet and keep their true identity secret. The best thing is to avoid the once who look like they may be under 18, I had asked a girl one time if she really was 19 as she claimed since she said she does not drive and lives with her parents, [b]well she got mad and blocked me!![/b]

[/QUOTE]Whenever that happens I just laugh and thank my lucky stars! If she is going to blow up at you for such an innocent question, I can only imagine the drama that lies in waiting? So for me, much better to have her upset now and drop out rather than deal with it in public or the FC! LOL!

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;3067913]I went back into the highlights and found post #2643 about how to keep your identity secret in a hotel room w / a SB. This is imperative. I had an experience a few years ago with a CL girl, not a SB, that curdled the blood. I made many mistakes here, first not asking for a photo before, relying on her honesty. She showed up at the door and I could see through the peephole she was large. I foolishly invited her in and she excused herself to the bathroom. We discussed matters for a few minutes and I suggested she wasn't really my type and I would give her half the agreed amount and she could just leave. She became irate (mock), etc. Etc. I am guessing she had played this game before. She then stated she had hacked my computer with her iPad while we were sitting there and she knew who I was and was going to be calling my SO unless I gave her the agreed-upon amount. Not true, what she had really done is look at my business card that I had left in my TSA-approved liquids bag that was in the bathroom. REALLY dumb on my part. I ended up giving her literally every bill I had, and still she emailed me for 2-3 days saying she needed to go shopping, etc. I lived in fear for quite some time afterward.

For those of you who see SBs when traveling on business (which I will be doing shortly), any other pointers on what not to do? I don't see specifics on the thread.[/QUOTE]That "con" only works as long as you let yourself be vulnerable. She is doing extortion or blackmail which I believe are felonies. "Dating" if something illegal was done, is a misdemeanor. So if you have to trade charges, she gets the heavy weight and you take a slap on the wrist. These girls work off of your fear. The more fear they can smell the harder they will push and keep pushing. But usually if you take a stand and push back you call their bluff!

If you really think she is going to call the SO, inoculate yourself by telling the SO a story about meeting a girl in a bar, conference, etc whatever and giving her your business card. Then next thing you know she is making up stories and threatening to call the SO. But hey, if she can go to the SO with texts from your personal number, emails from your personal account and pictures you sent her. Then you are cooked.

Get a burner number, and layer a GV number on it. Meet in public to size her up and come to an agreement. NEVER be unwilling, afraid or to horny to WALK AWAY if something doesn't feel right!

A lot of The Rules for BP Mongering are applicable to this situation. Have those down cold.

[QUOTE=CephlapodLove;3068856]That "con" only works as long as you let yourself be vulnerable. She is doing extortion or blackmail which I believe are felonies. "Dating" if something illegal was done, is a misdemeanor. So if you have to trade charges, she gets the heavy weight and you take a slap on the wrist. These girls work off of your fear. The more fear they can smell the harder they will push and keep pushing. But usually if you take a stand and push back you call their bluff!

If you really think she is going to call the SO, inoculate yourself by telling the SO a story about meeting a girl in a bar, conference, etc whatever and giving her your business card. Then next thing you know she is making up stories and threatening to call the SO. But hey, if she can go to the SO with texts from your personal number, emails from your personal account and pictures you sent her. Then you are cooked.

Get a burner number, and layer a GV number on it. Meet in public to size her up and come to an agreement. NEVER be unwilling, afraid or to horny to WALK AWAY if something doesn't feel right!

A lot of The Rules for BP Mongering are applicable to this situation. Have those down cold.[/QUOTE]At the time, I thought long and hard about some level of confession / prevarication with the SO about what went down. I decided to do nothing and wait (advice from a great friend, who had confessed to me his inability to stay away from a grad student in his department, long ago), and fortunately, she was bluffing so could not follow through on her threat. I did have essentially that explanation at the ready, provided by my more level-headed friend.