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In my state, I had to show I'd and the name and birthday had to match. Address was different and results were delivered anonymously. I had a fake birthday and it caused holy hell until I got it fixed.
[QUOTE=BigTigger;3027520][URL]https://www.stdcheck.com/[/URL]
You don't have to show I'd, you can use an alias. Results are delivered online using a code.
BigTigg.[/QUOTE]
My brief sugaring experience and endless SO experience lead me to this post on keeping the SO at bay. I believe that there are 3 levels of SO awareness of our hobby that we need to be thinking about.
1. Intuition. They have it. It can't be objectively proven, but I have seen it in action many times. I got very excited (internally) when I found the resources here and SA, and what incredible HYP was available. The SO was depressed for a week, enough to mention it and to mention that she was unable to explain why. I didn't help her out. Advice. Hide your emotional state as much as possible around activities in the bowl. Find a hot new POT. Just another day at the office.
2. Suspicion. The SO has this in spades b / c of an egregious episode in an earlier marriage. She suspects routinely, and speaks up about it, perhaps just to intimidate and remind. Other SOs I have had haven't voiced but I believe they had it. Advice. Know your SO and what she is sensitive about. Nights out with the boys? Don't do them if they raise her radar.
3. Evidence. If she gets here you are nearly sunk. Stonewalling denial can work only if there is a plausible and safe explanation ('I am not responsible for who dials my number. It could be a wrong number and I don't know who it is. Call it and see' You may be able to put the genie back in the bottle if you lay low from the bowl for a while. If there is *real* evidence (burner, electronic crumbs, receipts, even old fashioned lipstick / perfume / hair), the only way back is disavowal of future sugar activity. I know you. This is unlikely to happen and you are heading for some sort of separation. Advice. Here is where eternal vigilance is essential. You simply cannot allow any such evidence to accumulate. Always use encrypted browsers that don't store history. Don't use bookmarks or login tools. You have to have a good memory. If you have to save anything physically, do it on an encrypted flash drive you can take a hammer to if need be. More technically savvy SDs use the cloud. Check yourself once, twice, three times when you return to the SO.
My brief sugaring experience and endless SO experience lead me to this post on keeping the SO at bay. I believe that there are 3 levels of SO awareness of our hobby that we need to be thinking about.
1. Intuition. They have it. It can't be objectively proven, but I have seen it in action many times. I got very excited (internally) when I found the resources here and SA, and what incredible HYP was available. The SO was depressed for a week, enough to mention it and to mention that she was unable to explain why. I didn't help her out. Advice. Hide your emotional state as much as possible around activities in the bowl. Find a hot new POT. Just another day at the office.
2. Suspicion. The SO has this in spades b / c of an egregious episode in an earlier marriage. She suspects routinely, and speaks up about it, perhaps just to intimidate and remind. Other SOs I have had haven't voiced but I believe they had it. Advice. Know your SO and what she is sensitive about. Nights out with the boys? Don't do them if they raise her radar.
3. Evidence. If she gets here you are nearly sunk. Stonewalling denial can work only if there is a plausible and safe explanation ('I am not responsible for who dials my number. It could be a wrong number and I don't know who it is. Call it and see' You may be able to put the genie back in the bottle if you lay low from the bowl for a while. If there is *real* evidence (burner, electronic crumbs, receipts, even old fashioned lipstick / perfume / hair), the only way back is disavowal of future sugar activity. I know you. This is unlikely to happen and you are heading for some sort of separation. Advice. Here is where eternal vigilance is essential. You simply cannot allow any such evidence to accumulate. Always use encrypted browsers that don't store history, cookies, etc. Don't use bookmarks or login tools. You have to have a good memory. If you have to save anything physically, do it on an encrypted flash drive you can take a hammer to if need be. More technically savvy SDs use the cloud. Check yourself once, twice, three times when you return to the SO.
The Ashley Madison hack is a good example. I was on there long ago, had made no headway, and had forgotten about them, but unfortunately they hadn't forgotten about me. I also foolishly used a real work email as part of my profile. I know. But it was 10+years ago, before we all knew what online danger was. Amazingly, my work IT staff scanned the hack site and discreetly alerted (individually) each and every person at my work whose email address was on AM. I began to get emails from the hackers that they were going to expose me, send the info to my family, etc. , and all I had to do was get in touch and pay them off. I ignored them and eventually they gave up. But I was pretty nervous for awhile. This can happen to *any* online resource you use in sugaring or hobbying. Make sure nothing there can come back to your real life.
I've been asked by a number of people what I have in my profile and for help getting attention on SB websites. So I thought it best to just post it here. I've had two main profiles over the years and there were a few constant themes that women have complimented me on with examples.
In your profile, make sure it hits the following areas:
1. Be engaging and funny-- "Not only can I keep a secret, tie my shoes and chew gum at the same, eat with all of my (god-given) brushed teeth, entice you with my smile and faint scent of cologne. ".
2. Be specific with what you are looking for from her and what you bring to the table without using numerical expressions-- (meet twice a week, travel every now and then. Someone who's fun to be around, no drama with passion and has a little 007 street smarts, I cover all expenses and you will be taken care of in and outside of the bedroom).
3. Appeal to their mind and frustrations -- "It's time out for one-sided relationships and imbalanced expectations. It's time that you spent your time with someone who appreciates you, your faults, your strengths, your insecurities and your loyalty. ".
4. Downplay when appropriate / show humility but confidence -- "Ok, I'm not 6'2, but I have a big. Personality and I suck in my stomach really well".
5. Show you are not desperate, have some guile with guidelines - "I have no problem waiting for the right one and skipping those who can't even get gas to meet me at the date or have immediate eviction needs".
6. Encourage them to take initiative with some homework -So hit me up if I've piqued your interest and give me at least two reasons why you think we'll be a great fit".
Then.
Actively search and seek out POTS.
Be flirtatious without being crude and dirty old man "wow your pictures had a few thoughts run through my mind, but the relationship is too new to share those thoughts just yet, LOL".
Be engaging via email and move to texting as soon as possible.
Have pics to share. Via text only. Limit it to 3 and remind them that you are married (if appropriate) so you just use that to make sure everyone is happy with what they see.
Do not send dic pics! Don't ask for pics after the first 3 or 4 (until after you have met), make sure to get a full body pic.
*Super Important*.
Bring small gifts in a gift bag to the first date. Get your pattern down for what's in the bag, but include a Thank You card with about $40-$50 visa gift card inside. You can say it's for gas, etc. Remember they are looking for someone financially healthy, so dropping $50 for a M&G goes a long way. Especially since there are not any sexual expectations. Spending a little upfront will get you way more down the road.
Compliment in as many ways as possible the entire relationship. Even slide them in during conversation "Well, maybe we are getting such good service because they see how pretty you are and think you are famous or something (don't forget to laugh)".
This has worked wonders for me, "I've been told over and over, you make me feel so beautiful and special". That is always a sign that I've been successful.
BigTigg.
[QUOTE=BigTigger;3028523]I've been asked by a number of people what I have in my profile and for help getting attention on SB websites. So I thought it best to just post it here. I've had two main profiles over the years and there were a few constant themes that women have complimented me on with examples.
In your profile, make sure it hits the following areas:
1. Be engaging and funny-- "Not only can I keep a secret, tie my shoes and chew gum at the same, eat with all of my (god-given) brushed teeth, entice you with my smile and faint scent of cologne. ".
2. Be specific with what you are looking for from her and what you bring to the table without using numerical expressions-- (meet twice a week, travel every now and then. Someone who's fun to be around, no drama with passion and has a little 007 street smarts, I cover all expenses and you will be taken care of in and outside of the bedroom).
3. Appeal to their mind and frustrations -- "It's time out for one-sided relationships and imbalanced expectations. It's time that you spent your time with someone who appreciates you, your faults, your strengths, your insecurities and your loyalty. ".
4. Downplay when appropriate / show humility but confidence -- "Ok, I'm not 6'2, but I have a big. Personality and I suck in my stomach really well".
5. Show you are not desperate, have some guile with guidelines - "I have no problem waiting for the right one and skipping those who can't even get gas to meet me at the date or have immediate eviction needs".
6. Encourage them to take initiative with some homework -So hit me up if I've piqued your interest and give me at least two reasons why you think we'll be a great fit".
Then.
Actively search and seek out POTS.
Be flirtatious without being crude and dirty old man "wow your pictures had a few thoughts run through my mind, but the relationship is too new to share those thoughts just yet, LOL".
Be engaging via email and move to texting as soon as possible.
Have pics to share. Via text only. Limit it to 3 and remind them that you are married (if appropriate) so you just use that to make sure everyone is happy with what they see.
Do not send dic pics! Don't ask for pics after the first 3 or 4 (until after you have met), make sure to get a full body pic.
*Super Important*.
Bring small gifts in a gift bag to the first date. Get your pattern down for what's in the bag, but include a Thank You card with about $40-$50 visa gift card inside. You can say it's for gas, etc. Remember they are looking for someone financially healthy, so dropping $50 for a M&G goes a long way. Especially since there are not any sexual expectations. Spending a little upfront will get you way more down the road.
Compliment in as many ways as possible the entire relationship. Even slide them in during conversation "Well, maybe we are getting such good service because they see how pretty you are and think you are famous or something (don't forget to laugh)".
This has worked wonders for me, "I've been told over and over, you make me feel so beautiful and special". That is always a sign that I've been successful.
BigTigg.[/QUOTE]Pretty well thought out and a good profile does wonders when they actually do get around to reading it. Most that contact me I have to ask if they read the profile, redirect them back to profile and then if still interested to get back to me. Now both can really go overboard with the profile and once you do a m / g you find someone else did the profile for them because the person sitting across from ya couldn't have crafted it or nowhere resembles that person. Now I'm dead set against gifts at the m / g. Now if she had to travel a distance I find gas money ok. But a gift for showing is a no no. Now if your wanting to impress then accept their arrangement request without haggling if its in the budget. The arrangement is the most important to these girls, then personality. Had numerous girls tell me they stay in a lt arrangement because the money was good. That was the only reason they hung in there so long. Your right about thedic pic or treating them like a hooker. From reading the various sd threads you can see most have no idea as to what a true sb is so they treat them like a hooker. Anway pretty good advice with just some of my thoughts.
[QUOTE=BigTigger;3027550]Found a 19 year old looking for her first SA experience. She was home waiting to move back to the dorms for her 2nd year in college. Mommy and Daddy left for work and I picked her up to put in some work. She just wanted some online shopping money. So gift cards and no cash. She suggested FC for the first meeting. We had breakfast and got to the TiggaBounce. I've had a few 21 and below. She was bar far one of the best. The intimacy came natural for her. Multiple positions two rounds and two pops for me 5 Os for her and some great ego boosting compliments. Amazing body, 5'1, small cute butt and perfect perky C-cups. $50 Retail Store gift card, breakfast and got the room for free on points. It was a great morning.
So I've by far had my most luck on SA.
BigTigg.[/QUOTE]BT, you seem to have the market in low cost sugaring. But, the babies who are on sugar sites are mostly looking for -well-sugar. It is good to know that there are cute young things looking for a good time, roll in the hay, and a gift card to Walmart, but it is important for the readership to know that this is not the norm. BT must be extremely talented at screening for this type of girl, or immensely appealing. Most of us have to pay the price to take the prize.
[QUOTE=FredMoore;3028619]BT, you seem to have the market in low cost sugaring. But, the babies who are on sugar sites are mostly looking for -well-sugar. It is good to know that there are cute young things looking for a good time, roll in the hay, and a gift card to Walmart, but it is important for the readership to know that this is not the norm. BT must be extremely talented at screening for this type of girl, or immensely appealing. Most of us have to pay the price to take the prize.[/QUOTE]You are correct, this one was really not the norm. I was very surprised at all of this. We did agree on $100 per meet going forward. The first date was supposed to be meet-and-greet, but it had been a while for her so I got real lucky. She was awfully happy with the gift card and I was still a little confused when I left, it just seemed to be a bit too good to be true. We have texted since then and things seem normal, not mention of more sugar. I will get two over night dates the next time I visit for $200. Still a great deal for me and for a college kid with all her expenses paid, she feels like it's a great deal. Spending money and good sex.
[QUOTE=BigTigger;3027520][URL]https://www.stdcheck.com/[/URL]
You don't have to show I'd, you can use an alias. Results are delivered online using a code.
BigTigg.[/QUOTE]I have used both planned parenthood and my local county (NC) health dept. In both instances I told them I would pay out of pocket. Interestingly the two times I have used the county health dept for test and treat, they did not charge me either time. I have used Planned parenthood in two different cities (chapel hill and durham), sometimes as a walkin and sometimes with an appt. Their wait time can be long, bring something to read.
I have also used the online service operators that will schedule an appt at lab corp but they are pricey.
[QUOTE=BigTigger;3027520][URL]https://www.stdcheck.com/[/URL]
You don't have to show I'd, you can use an alias. Results are delivered online using a code.
BigTigg.[/QUOTE]If you have Patient First in your area they will do it totally anonymously. They call you with the results and ask you if your alone and can talk before they say anything. There are two tests they do. I don't remember the cost.
[QUOTE=StormyTuesday;3029496]I have used both planned parenthood and my local county (NC) health dept. In both instances I told them I would pay out of pocket. Interestingly the two times I have used the county health dept for test and treat, they did not charge me either time. I have used Planned parenthood in two different cities (chapel hill and durham), sometimes as a walkin and sometimes with an appt. Their wait time can be long, bring something to read.
I have also used the online service operators that will schedule an appt at lab corp but they are pricey.[/QUOTE]One issue that arises is that some Planned Parenthood clinics evidently do not offer HSV testing. That is allegedly the case in CA according to Hollywood Guy. For my money, testing vs. The incurable viral diseases (HSV, HIV, even hepatitis, though many have been immunized and there is the pricey new HepC treatment) is the key. Needing an antibiotic for a bacterial disease is a problem (especially for married SDs), but you *really* don't want the gift that keeps on giving.
[QUOTE=JohnHandCock;3028572]Pretty well thought out and a good profile does wonders when they actually do get around to reading it. Most that contact me I have to ask if they read the profile, redirect them back to profile and then if still interested to get back to me. Now both can really go overboard with the profile and once you do a m / g you find someone else did the profile for them because the person sitting across from ya couldn't have crafted it or nowhere resembles that person. Now I'm dead set against gifts at the m / g. Now if she had to travel a distance I find gas money ok. But a gift for showing is a no no. Now if your wanting to impress then accept their arrangement request without haggling if its in the budget. The arrangement is the most important to these girls, then personality. Had numerous girls tell me they stay in a lt arrangement because the money was good. That was the only reason they hung in there so long. Your right about thedic pic or treating them like a hooker. From reading the various sd threads you can see most have no idea as to what a true sb is so they treat them like a hooker. Anway pretty good advice with just some of my thoughts.[/QUOTE]You actually show a great difference in our approaches. I'm not looking for the women who want an arrangement. I'm looking for those who want what feels like a discreet affair with a married man with some financial help along the way. Your target audience would not work for me because the funds I offer are not enough for anyone to stay, LOL. So I probably should have had that caveat at the beginning of my post. Also, I target African American women and Latinas. As stated before, the nature of supply and demand for those two groups, keeps my expenses low. The good thing is that in many cases I don't have to sacrifice looks or body, I just have to be more emotionally involved and get them more emotionally involved. I will say this, I've been surprised at the number who were willing to deal with me knowing I had others in the stable. Sometimes honesty is a big turn on for them.
So fellow hobbyist, make sure to modify our suggestions based on who you are, what you bring to the table and what you are targeting. For the arrangement folks, funds and gifts at the M&G may have little effect. However for those who want to strongly believe they are not selling the goodies, the gifts and cash works wonders.
BigTigg.
[QUOTE=BigTigger;3030191]You actually show a great difference in our approaches. I'm not looking for the women who want an arrangement. I'm looking for those who want what feels like a discreet affair with a married man with some financial help along the way. Your target audience would not work for me because the funds I offer are not enough for anyone to stay, LOL. So I probably should have had that caveat at the beginning of my post. Also, I target African American women and Latinas. As stated before, the nature of supply and demand for those two groups, keeps my expenses low. The good thing is that in many cases I don't have to sacrifice looks or body, I just have to be more emotionally involved and get them more emotionally involved. I will say this, I've been surprised at the number who were willing to deal with me knowing I had others in the stable. Sometimes honesty is a big turn on for them.
So fellow hobbyist, make sure to modify our suggestions based on who you are, what you bring to the table and what you are targeting. For the arrangement folks, funds and gifts at the M&G may have little effect. However for those who want to strongly believe they are not selling the goodies, the gifts and cash works wonders.
BigTigg.[/QUOTE]K you lost me. Your first paragraph has me confused. If your providing financial aid that is an arrangement. Now if your just dating them and randomly give her assistance without her asking for anything that to me is civy dating. If that's the case then good for you but how does that fall under a sb thread? I know everyone here has a different definition of a sb but if I'm dating a girl and randomly helping with $$ without her asking I would classify her as my gf, not a sb.
It's been said many times before. Many of us have very different definitions of SB's. It seems like Tigg looks for more of a cross between a girlfriend and a misstress that he provides some financial help, but that is not the corner stone of the relationship. Many women are attracted to older more mature mean that treat them better than they have been treated by many younger guys.
You may argue that is not an SB, but I'm not sure the definition is that clean cut. I've had several long term SB'S that became girlfriends eventually. It does make the ultimate break up more painful, but I've had other SB arrangements ends with as much, if not more, drama.
(in their words).
[QUOTE=JohnHandCock;3030253]K you lost me. Your first paragraph has me confused. If your providing financial aid that is an arrangement. Now if your just dating them and randomly give her assistance without her asking for anything that to me is civy dating. If that's the case then good for you but how does that fall under a sb thread? I know everyone here has a different definition of a sb but if I'm dating a girl and randomly helping with $$ without her asking I would classify her as my gf, not a sb.[/QUOTE].
[QUOTE=JohnHandCock;3030253]K you lost me. Your first paragraph has me confused. If your providing financial aid that is an arrangement. Now if your just dating them and randomly give her assistance without her asking for anything that to me is civy dating. If that's the case then good for you but how does that fall under a sb thread? I know everyone here has a different definition of a sb but if I'm dating a girl and randomly helping with $$ without her asking I would classify her as my gf, not a sb.[/QUOTE]Great point, I actually do guarantee a minimum amount per month. The key is these want it to feel like it's random help, so in their mind it doesn't feel like an arrangement when we all know it is.
BigTigg.
[QUOTE=Madaboutmax;3030568]It's been said many times before. Many of us have very different definitions of SB's. It seems like Tigg looks for more of a cross between a girlfriend and a misstress that he provides some financial help, but that is not the corner stone of the relationship. Many women are attracted to older more mature mean that treat them better than they have been treated by many younger guys.
You may argue that is not an SB, but I'm not sure the definition is that clean cut. I've had several long term SB'S that became girlfriends eventually. It does make the ultimate break up more painful, but I've had other SB arrangements ends with as much, if not more, drama.
(in their words).
.[/QUOTE]A sb and gf definition is pretty clear for me. A sb there is an arrangement in place that both have agreed to. A gf is someone you date without her expecting financial help. Now if you want to help out randomly that tickles her to death and much appreciated. If you have a sb that you think is a gf take the sugar away. If she is still there you got a gf and congrads. Most are going to be gone. Now the girls on the sites are there for financial help 99% of them. That why we are members because of variety and ease of finding them. For me to try and cultivate a sb from a real life situation is just to time consuming, much easier and faster finding a gf.