"Weird" is being generous
[QUOTE=Porthos1844;5408836]I haven't been to Panacea in years (I more regularly attend the other places on the NE side. But not Five Star -- Five Star sucks). Based on some good reviews here, I thought I'd head back there. I knew (or at least I thought I knew) what to expect based on recent (and many) reviews here.
I didn't make an appointment but did call to make sure someone would be available if I stopped in. The Phone Answered said yes but didn't give me a name and said she'd see me in 15 minutes. I was in a gambling mood, so I rolled those dice.
Got there and the Phone Answered (after butchering my name) took my money (one hour) and showed me to the first door on the left. Bad start. I always hate being up near the front.
The room was pitch dark save a small corner table with an LED wand light that was running at about. 5 incandescent equivalents. Still pitch dark. But I sensed not one but two table in the room, one a few feet from the other. Since I couldn't see anything else, I got comfortable and stuck my clothes on the second table which I could at least feel if not see.
Then I hear what I can only describe as a convention outside my door. Lots of talking. Some guy named "John" comes in (I swear to God I'm not making that up). Then I hear something about needing the other table. There is a knock on my door and a woman comes, says "I'm really sorry but we've gotten really busy and we need the table," then realizing my state, sticks her head back out and says "He's already gotten comfortable. " Then from the convention: "Just put a towel on him".
I get up and drape myself in a towel. I say "that's fine" because I'm a nice and flexible guy. But I have to move my clothes off the table they need (maybe for "John" I put my clothes over on a smaller table (that I only saw because she left the door open and (first room, remember) plenty of light is coming into the room from the Gigantic windows in front of the parking lot.Then the first woman comes in with a second woman (pink-ish hair and tats) and they wrangled the emergency backup table out of my large room, having to turn that beast sideways to get it out. All the while, door open and I'm staring (in nothing other than a towel) at my car in the parking lot.
Then things returned to normal. I took the opportunity as the commotion settled down to put my tip on the table next to the. 5 LED light. It was a generous tip for Panacea. I figured with the weirdness that just happened, and with the tip, I had a decent chance of an above-average massage.
In any event, first woman comes back in and start the massage. It was okay. I like a lot of pressure and she was more light, but that's not her fault because I didn't say anything. We chit chat. She asked if I'd been to any massage places before. I explained that I had. She said she her name was Haley and she used to be at Serenity. I'm thinking "could be good" as I've had some fun at Serenity. She talked about how Panacea is expanding into the next space over. Okay, getting the business plan, that's sort of interesting. But that was pretty much it. The mediocre massage continued with not the slightest bit of teasing or hinting. It. Just. Went. On. At some point, she asked if I was interested in a nude or nuru massage, and I said I was. Okay, we're getting somewhere. Then nothing. No additional information provided, no request, no "well in that case. . . " Just more mediocre massage. Then she said I could turn over anytime I wanted, but kept up the massage. So I waited for her to pause and then flipped over.
The end was just okay. Standard. Uninspired. What'd you'd expect a mediocre place.
As I was getting dressed and waiting for Haley to finish changing the linens, she looked at me and said "Are you going to tip me?" I said "I did and it's right there" (pointing at the wad of cash under the. 5 LED). "Oh. Okay. " And that was it.
Oh, well. I rolled the dice and lost. I gave it a shot. I don't think I'll be back anytime soon.
What a weird visit to Panacea.[/QUOTE]Wow, that sucks! I've had plenty of good appointments there but that's the kind of bullshit that would keep me from going back.