The Lebron James of the Sugar World
The true MVP. Gracious in the compliments to his fellow bowl brothers.
[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2914203]I kind of admire anyone with this level of patience. I never had that kind of patience, but I also think my lack of it is part of what motivated me to up my game to the point where I can very quickly assess them sexually. I'm also thankful for that because about 1 out of 30 is a dud in bed or has weird restrictions or lack of skills in a certain area -- I'd hate to spend two months plus cash to find out she's a dead fish in bed.
Some SBs have told me after the FC visit things to the effect of "I usually don't have sex on the first date", etc. But of course every woman wants to present themselves as a saint so I never know what to believe. It's not like I'm going to respect them any less for solving my immediate dilemma. In fact, quite the opposite. The one and only time that an SB M&G ever did has not resulted in a successful trip the FC after dinner, the POT said she wanted to end our nighttime date early after a couple of drinks at a bar, and reschedule our date for the next day when her energy levels were better. I said thanks but no thanks -- it was partially lack of patience on my part but also because I had another M&G scheduled for the next day. I was also a little pissed that I had let her pick the evening, and she specifically picked that night because she had the next day off work, so I felt it was her problem and not mine. I also felt like she was texting someone else and there was something else going on (I. E. Her boyfriend or whatever was demanding to see her that night etc).
I once took a virgin to the FC within only a couple of hours of meeting her online (civy dating find). My current live-in girlfriend gave it up the first night I met her, and to this day still jokes to the effect of "I don't know how you did that", so she's in the category of the "OMG I never do that on the first date" girls. But I guess the fact that I'm still with her all these years is living proof that I really do respect them in the morning. LOL.[/QUOTE]
Annnnnd I think I saw a ghost!
Or 2 ghosts rather. Yup. On both. The day before we were to meet. Theeeeeeeere gone. Whoop knows. One actually deleted her account on SA and the other has not been back on but I had her number and just texted a couple times asking if we were still on. No response.
Soooooooo I have another meeting with a 30 yr old Scarlett Johanson look alike Friday! She actually works full time etc and seems to have her head somewhat together. We have talked on the phone a couple times so hopefully flaking at the last minute won't happen. Said she had a 2 yr situation with an SD before. This could be a keeper from our texts / conversations and a nice replacement for my current SB. I will keep you updated. Interested or not! LOL.
[QUOTE=LikeMike1963;2907694]Well. Had a little trip with my SB and went well. I did try to break it off with her on our return though. Just not enough sex going on the last few months. None of this is really her fault. Health issues and a serious family situation she had to leave town for a bit. All verified issues but now I forsee some other issues still coming up so have been looking on SA. FYI. She was a bit more upset than I thought she would be when I tried to break it off. We talked and I caved. LOL. But am on the hunt and am sure it will be easier if I have another definitely lined up so I have been on SA and had a couple dates with one late 20's which I really prefer for drama reasons. All seemed well. We talked allowance she seemed like it was adequate. And I likely would of done a little more if asked but then went ghost!. Oh well. Back on the hunt and now I have 2 20 yr olds I am working (yeah yeah. I'm not wired for 220. Har har har) anyway one lives in my area and the other an easy drive but about an hour away. Suppose to have meets this week. I have a preference for one over the other just because she is a tiny spinner type but we will see if the meets happen and how we click. Both attractive and fit though. Wish me luck![/QUOTE]
Please, not yet another thread
Guys,
I don't think it's a good idea to start another thread.
It gets so confusing. More palces to check wisdom is not working in the long term. You like JL posts, you can filter just his. Very easy.
I guarantee you, JL will get tired. Others did in the past.
Let's just stick to one. So, we go one place.
Baltimore ended up with multiple threads and it's a mess.
Exercises for keeping your game sharp.
I've talked before about the importance of physical exercise, but in this post I'm going to discuss mental exercise. I'm going to share three tips that help me greatly when playing in the bowl. I've discussed these in the past but I don't think I've ever done so in a single post. I will attempt to do so here for indexing purposes (per recent suggestions. I'll index this post later).
All three of the following are simply alternate methods of practicing game, and the old saying practice makes perfect has never held more truth than it does when applied to dating. When I look back at the times in my life that I stayed in a long-term, monogamous relationship, every time I exited those relationships I felt awkwardly out of my element because I felt like I had to start all over. Luckily, game with women is a lot like riding a bike, and it comes back to you in days or weeks, but overall I've found myself to be more content if I just keep the skills sharp on an ongoing basis (and of course this also prevents being monogamous! LOL).
Tip #1 - Practice on strippers (at a strip club).
To become better at any skill, you must put yourself in an environment where your competition is better than you. Otherwise, you are shooting fish in a barrel, and there is nothing to help you elevate your skill to the next level. It applies to everything from sports to a game of chess, and is equally applicable to developing game with women. Whenever you enter a (decent) strip club, the odds are stacked against you the moment you walk in the door. Occasional exceptions aside, strippers are master manipulators of men who, by their chosen profession, they are trained and practiced at extracting money from you while striving to provide you with little more than a tease. Your goal is simply to practice turning the tables in your favor, hopefully getting her to agree to fuck you (for as little money as possible). Even when takeout is not possible, just practice seeing how long you can keep her interested in talking to you, or getting her to text you so you have her phone number, etc. Anything that breaks down her barrier a bit. Shoot for upscale clubs -- these are typically the most challenging because the dancers are often career entertainers. You want to practice on seasoned pros. You don't want to practice in dive bars where the girls are mostly amateurs that are already open to the possibility of takeout before they show up for work. That's shooting fish in a barrel again. You want to specifically seek out women that are challenging to deal with, and practice dealing with them effectively. You want the kind of place where a stripper can make several hundred dollars just with one trip to the VIP room, such that she doesn't really NEED takeout work; she would be open to it only if you can charm her into the idea. This means her motivation to fuck you for same money is almost nothing, so if you can charm her into doing that, you've made good progress.
The degree to which they "need" money is the key here. Because good strippers typically do not need extra money and SBs do, dealing with SBs after dealing with strippers will seem like a cakewalk, and when I say "deal" I do mean it's all about first charming them into saying yes, then negotiating a low price. This is contrary to the way I deal with SBs, where my policy is to not discuss price up front (with the only exception to be explained in tip #2 below). At times you might develop a genuine connection with a stripper to the point she's interested in dating you pro-bono, and if that happens regularly with hot strippers, then you probably already have good enough game that the advice in this tip is redundant for you. And, if that is the case, you are probably already banging as many strippers as SBs. And yes, some strippers are SBs, but meeting them on a SD site doesn't count toward the above exercise because they are then operating outside of their competitive environment and their presence on an SD site would indicate a need for money (in other words the stripping thing isn't working out well for them).
Tip #2 - Practice your salesmanship on SBs you'll never meet on the site.
First, to clarify something I've written about here in the past, I don't discuss allowance amounts with SBs I'm interested in meeting, I just gift them based on performance after the fact. I believe that discussing money up front is bad luck, so I just tell them let's meet first and see if there's a connection. It's at the M&G that I pour on the game, and that's the method I've become most comfortable with.
However, I sometimes discuss money with SBs I know I'll never meet. Why? Because I figure I've already paid for the site membership, why not use it as an opportunity to practice. It helps me stay in touch with how they think, and gives me the opportunity to practice level-setting expectations.
I specifically look for girls that exhibit some form of GPS / inflated ego / entitlement etc in cities that I have no intention of visiting. Then I try to ask them what their expectation is, and if they won't come up with an amount I usually just ask them what they've gotten in the past. From there I start looking for ways to wear them down, seeing how low of an amount I can get them to agree to, just using text and email. I'm sure some of them are UTRs or higher volume SBs, but that's okay because they are helping me without realizing it. Maybe there's a bit of a latent sociopath in me, but I find this activity extraordinarily fun and a good time filler for when I'm waiting for other flaky POTs to respond or just want to kill some time. It's so rewarding when you're able to talk a girl that starts out with a number like $$$$$ per date down to $ per date, or in some cases they just agree to no direct payment just to date straight up. I know it begs the question of how exactly to do it, but there's just not a good answer for that one. I never have the same conversation with the same girl twice. Learning to read each one individually, and respond to individual circumstances, is the whole reason for doing this exercise. There is no script or forumula for success. And fairly often, the end result is not what I would like it to be, sometimes they just stop responding or whatever. But, even in those cases the experience is still valuable. Think of it this way, if you say something that causes three or four girls to stop responding, then you've just discovered what not to say. This puts you that much close to learning what you SHOULD say.
The key here is to do it outside of your normal market. You don't want to experiment on POTs you might actually want. Use the practice you gained on the pseudo-POTS to execute a more careful negotiation strategy with the ones you actually do want to meet in your preferred markets. If you travel all over, try to pick cities you'll never visit.
Tip #3 - Bait random girls into complaining about money.
You might be inclined to predict where this is going -- get them talking about their money situation (which is never what they want it to be) and the foundation has been laid to get them thinking about sugar possibilities. But actually, the goal here is much simpler.
This one is much lower in priority than the first two, because honestly I don't get a chance to do it often enough. When I used to spend a lot of time in bars, and was involved in a lot of civy dating sites, I used to do it regularly because I was in the presence of random women often. I don't do either much these days, so the best opportunity I have is if I go somewhere to get a bite to eat and end up with a cute waitress, and even that seems few and far between. The last time I went into a Hooters alone for a sandwich I had a cute waitress that was a perfect prospect, and as I was planning my approach she got a phone call from her father who apparently chewed her out, and she spent the remaining hour balling her eyes out and barely doing her job. I had zero windows of opportunity, it happens.
The basic idea is just to practice steering the conversation where you want it to go. In civy dating circles (websites / bars) you might find this results in a lot of dates from "needy" girls that aren't really SBs per se but could easily flip. If you go randomly into restaurants you'll find results few and far between, but keep in mind the point of this is NOT to get laid. It's not even to come out of the restaurant with her phone number.
The goal is simply to get her to exhibit the behavior you planned for her to. For example, the last thing a waitress should be doing is complaining to customers about money, so if you can get her to do this, you've pulled her out of her professional zone and into your world, even if only for a moment. And that is a victory in itself (if you do actually get a phone number and get laid that's great, but honestly even though servers make great SBs, hitting on them while they're working is not really the best of plans). The win is simply in the act of intentionally causing some behavioral effect. Setting a goal then making it happen, particularly if that goal is contrary to her normal behavior, is affirmation that you're able to make things happen conversationally.
Once you become very adept at making those things happen, you will be better at more advanced techniques like invoking reactance and ego regression (see post #11359 for more on ego regression). I will write more about reactance and reverse psychology at a later date, but all of these techniques work in conjunction with each other.
