An Open Letter About Personal Hygiene To All Hobbyists
I have received many PM's from mongers asking me for my "secret" to success with providers. The Mario coin notwithstanding, there is no "secret". Instead of answering, individually, the dozens of PM's I've received regarding this subject, I thought it would be incumbent upon me to simply post this letter to the Board / Massage / Rub forum, in an attempt to assist my brothers in their eternal search for soft, feminine, succulent "quiff". I can't speak for SW's as I never see them, or Escorts, as I don't see escorts either. This business model / marketing strategy applies mainly to cats that see LMT's and Rub chicks. Of course, you older, experienced hobbyists, already know what I am about to say. So you guys need not read any further than this sentence.
You younger and less experienced cats, listen up: I honestly cannot tell you how many providers have told me how they were "sickened" by guys whose "manscaping" skills were, shall we say, less than exemplary. NOTHING turns a provider off more than a guy with body odor. NOTHING. I have heard stories from providers about guys that, have "ass sweat", "nut sweat", "toilet paper" in their ass crack (yes, USED toilet paper! Dingleberry's, dingleberry's, dingleberry's all the way" (Oh, what fun it is to ride, oh never mind. I'm just in the Christmas spirit! In their ass hair, "body sweat", "disgusting nose hair", "ear hair" and the list goes on. Now, the Jag is sensitive to other cultures and their "manscaping" rules and I would never want to offend a fellow hobbyist who is from another country / foreign nationals / culturally different. But here in North America, in order to get pussy / BBBJ / CBJ from a "quality" provider, you better make sure you fucking "MANSCAPE". I promise you, a quality provider will shut you out, (like Sandy Koufax, circa 1963), if you are not exceptionally well groomed. I have heard from dozens of providers who tell me stories of clients, even good looking ones, that have despicable hygiene. The provider cannot get them out of the room quickly enough, coinage notwithstanding. You can look like Rock Hudson, Clint Walker, Tom Selleck, or, Tom Cruise. But if you don't shower / bath properly BEFORE you see a provider, don't expect any extras. But, some guys are just too fucking stupid to realize that hygiene is absolutely critical to their success rate. It does not matter if the chick is a "civilian", or, a Rub gal. Hygiene goes a long way in determining your success rate. Similarly, if a provider has a "hygiene" issue, I wouldn't expect a hobbyist to want to get close to her. And believe me; I have seen a few providers who have hygiene issues. I summarily refuse to see them again.
Think about it: You begin to finger blast a chick during foreplay, and out comes a "cheesy" substance, or, you detect an aroma better suited for the Hong Kong fish market. I don't know about you cats, but the Jag is "exiting stage left" at that point. True, that may be a bit of an overreaching example, if you will, but you cats get my drift, (or, is it a "whiff of quiff" So, as we move forward in our never ending quest for "quiff", please remember: 1. Shower thoroughly and completely prior to your appointment. That especially includes you "hairy" cats out there. Pay careful attention to your "crack" and "sac" areas. (You blue collar cats, I realize it is more difficult for you if you are seeing a provider on your lunch break, or, immediately after work before you go home to the Mrs. But, at least do the best you can, ok? Do NOT spray cologne over your body odor. It will only make it worse. You are better off stopping at a 7-11 and washing your man parts in the bathroom. Bring a change of underwear if possible and hide it in your lunch box. If the Mrs. Packs your lunch for you, hide your "monger" skivvies in your tool kit or utility belt).2. Avoid wearing: Sweats, ball caps, flip flops, dirty and smelly sneakers, tank tops, old tee shirts, etc. For those gents that can, try to wear a decent button down dress shirt, kakis', dress socks and business casual shoes. Remember, the providers are "sizing you up" the minute you walk through the door. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression, as they say. You don't have to walk in wearing a "Brioni', or, "Zegna" suit in order to get laid. Just dress nicely and look neat and clean. 3. Wear "lightly" scented cologne. You want the provider to "gag" on your cock, not on the scent of your cologne. 4. Cats with facial hair: Be neatly trimmed and free of food, toilet paper, mucosal droppings, etc. Inspect your facial hair carefully PRIOR to entering the studio / rub joint. 5. Walk into the studio with confidence, not arrogance. Don't look like you're a fucking tourist, lost, or, a newbie. And ALWAYS be a gentleman to the ladies. All women love a real gentleman and being a true gentleman is a real turn on for them. Never, ever grab or grope a gal. NEVER. They fucking hate it when a guy does that. Always ask permission before you touch a provider, otherwise they may ask you to leave. The Jag has even sent / brought flowers to a studio before. That's right mother fuckers; the Jag is a romanticist at heart. (I may have just blown my cover at a few places, but, oh well).
Gents, feel free to add anything, as this is just a general guide to assist you in your hobbying efforts. These tenets on hygiene have enabled me to achieve a remarkable "closing percentage", worthy of Mariano Rivera and Michael Jordan, during my 11 years of hobbying.
I wish you all great success.
Merry Christmas, fellas.
I'm out.
JaguarXF.
Inbox All Cleaned Out. Sorry About Any Inconvenience Brother Otown.
[QUOTE=Otownstamina;1962034]Jag... Your inbox is full.[/QUOTE]Just cleaned everything out. Let's roll, brothers!
JaguarXF.
And as I found out at AGG yesterday. . . .
[QUOTE=OrlandoJ;1962829]I have fully agree with JaguarXF on all basis and the only thing I have to add is that the AMP offers a tableshower take advantage of it. You will get a lot farther if the provider can scrub you clean.
OJ.[/QUOTE]The table shower can be quite relaxing too.
V.
You going to the prom or an AMP?
[QUOTE=JaguarXF;1962686]I have received many PM's from mongers asking me for my "secret" to success with providers. The Mario coin notwithstanding, there is no "secret". Instead of answering, individually, the dozens of PM's I've received regarding this subject, I thought it would be incumbent upon me to simply post this letter to the Board / Massage / Rub forum, in an attempt to assist my brothers in their eternal search for soft, feminine, succulent "quiff". I can't speak for SW's as I never see them, or Escorts, as I don't see escorts either. This business model / marketing strategy applies mainly to cats that see LMT's and Rub chicks. Of course, you older, experienced hobbyists, already know what I am about to say. So you guys need not read any further than this sentence.
You younger and less experienced cats, listen up: I honestly cannot tell you how many providers have told me how they were "sickened" by guys whose "manscaping" skills were, shall we say, less than exemplary. NOTHING turns a provider off more than a guy with body odor. NOTHING. I have heard stories from providers about guys that, have "ass sweat", "nut sweat", "toilet paper" in their ass crack (yes, USED toilet paper! Dingleberry's, dingleberry's, dingleberry's all the way" (Oh, what fun it is to ride, oh never mind. I'm just in the Christmas spirit! In their ass hair, "body sweat", "disgusting nose hair", "ear hair" and the list goes on. Now, the Jag is sensitive to other cultures and their "manscaping" rules and I would never want to offend a fellow hobbyist who is from another country / foreign nationals / culturally different. But here in North America, in order to get pussy / BBBJ / CBJ from a "quality" provider, you better make sure you fucking "MANSCAPE". I promise you, a quality provider will shut you out, (like Sandy Koufax, circa 1963), if you are not exceptionally well groomed. I have heard from dozens of providers who tell me stories of clients, even good looking ones, that have despicable hygiene. The provider cannot get them out of the room quickly enough, coinage notwithstanding. You can look like Rock Hudson, Clint Walker, Tom Selleck, or, Tom Cruise. But if you don't shower / bath properly BEFORE you see a provider, don't expect any extras. But, some guys are just too fucking stupid to realize that hygiene is absolutely critical to their success rate. It does not matter if the chick is a "civilian", or, a Rub gal. Hygiene goes a long way in determining your success rate. Similarly, if a provider has a "hygiene" issue, I wouldn't expect a hobbyist to want to get close to her. And believe me; I have seen a few providers who have hygiene issues. I summarily refuse to see them again.
Think about it: You begin to finger blast a chick during foreplay, and out comes a "cheesy" substance, or, you detect an aroma better suited for the Hong Kong fish market. I don't know about you cats, but the Jag is "exiting stage left" at that point. True, that may be a bit of an overreaching example, if you will, but you cats get my drift, (or, is it a "whiff of quiff" So, as we move forward in our never ending quest for "quiff", please remember: 1. Shower thoroughly and completely prior to your appointment. That especially includes you "hairy" cats out there. Pay careful attention to your "crack" and "sac" areas. (You blue collar cats, I realize it is more difficult for you if you are seeing a provider on your lunch break, or, immediately after work before you go home to the Mrs. But, at least do the best you can, ok? Do NOT spray cologne over your body odor. It will only make it worse. You are better off stopping at a 7-11 and washing your man parts in the bathroom. Bring a change of underwear if possible and hide it in your lunch box. If the Mrs. Packs your lunch for you, hide your "monger" skivvies in your tool kit or utility belt).2. Avoid wearing: Sweats, ball caps, flip flops, dirty and smelly sneakers, tank tops, old tee shirts, etc. For those gents that can, try to wear a decent button down dress shirt, kakis', dress socks and business casual shoes. Remember, the providers are "sizing you up" the minute you walk through the door. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression, as they say. You don't have to walk in wearing a "Brioni', or, "Zegna" suit in order to get laid. Just dress nicely and look neat and clean. 3. Wear "lightly" scented cologne. You want the provider to "gag" on your cock, not on the scent of your cologne. 4. Cats with facial hair: Be neatly trimmed and free of food, toilet paper, mucosal droppings, etc. Inspect your facial hair carefully PRIOR to entering the studio / rub joint. 5. Walk into the studio with confidence, not arrogance. Don't look like you're a fucking tourist, lost, or, a newbie. And ALWAYS be a gentleman to the ladies. All women love a real gentleman and being a true gentleman is a real turn on for them. Never, ever grab or grope a gal. NEVER. They fucking hate it when a guy does that. Always ask permission before you touch a provider, otherwise they may ask you to leave. The Jag has even sent / brought flowers to a studio before. That's right mother fuckers; the Jag is a romanticist at heart. (I may have just blown my cover at a few places, but, oh well).
Gents, feel free to add anything, as this is just a general guide to assist you in your hobbying efforts. These tenets on hygiene have enabled me to achieve a remarkable "closing percentage", worthy of Mariano Rivera and Michael Jordan, during my 11 years of hobbying.
I wish you all great success.
Merry Christmas, fellas.
I'm out.
JaguarXF.[/QUOTE]Jag you left out the rule that you have to drive a rental car.
If I had your coinage I could whistle Dixie out my ass while dining at the Y and still get a great massage.
Of course, as always, YMMV.
Peace brothers & sistas.
