[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2774222]I sometimes scan posts but almost never read entire posts unless something catches my eye (as the moniker reference above did), and as you said just don't post anymore. I just got to a point where it seemed like all the important things had been said and archived, so it didn't seem like an effective use of time. However, I don't think I ever discussed opinions about bartenders as SBs, so. Why not.
I see bartenders as no good for SBs *if* you meet them at their place of work. There are some important reasons bartending differs from other server industry jobs -- they are more invested in their actual skillset than for example a stripper, waitress or hostess. Some states require certification, and even in states that don't require it they usually are certified and trained to do their job. This means they are less transient in their jobs, and often work at the same place for years at a time. Their job is a bit more authoritative in nature than the others (they become sort of like babysitters or lifeguards for the drunks), and this tends to bring out the maturity factor and sense of responsibility in them (or perhaps draw that kind of person to the job role). They often make better money than a typical server, and they are in an intentionally non-sexual role (unlike a stripper). That said, I have met bartenders on SB websites before, so yes there are some who would like to upgrade their lifestyle, it's just that approaching them at work is probably working against you in more cases than not.
If you have a bartender that you think is sending strong vibes (it definitely does happen, sometimes they just like you and you'll see the difference in how they treat you vs. Other customers) then by all means pursue it if you don't have other reasons not to. I've had this happen to me in the past, and the only reason I didn't follow up on the opportunities was because it always seemed to happen at some of my favorite haunts. I didn't want to date an employee of bars that I regularly went to and hooked up with random women, because regardless of whether things went well or not she's always going to be there behind the bar while I'm trying to operate. I felt the same way about dating waitresses at some of these places -- no matter how strong they came on I would avoid if it was a place I liked to keep going back to. The number of random women coming through the doors of the places was always many times greater and offered far better variety than the same set of bartenders or waitresses at any given place, no matter how hot they were.
As far as to how to test the waters to see if a girl can be flipped to an SB, just bring up the subject of arrangements with her in a way that doesn't involve her directly. As you're talking, you're trying to read her to see what pushes her buttons (sometimes none of it does but you don't know until you try), then if she starts responding positively you start working your way more toward the idea of trying something between the two of you. I wouldn't directly suggest going out, because that makes it too personal and requires her to think about the idea of genuine fondness for you if it sounds like a date. Gravitating the conversation toward the concept of an arrangement seems is less risky, it implies a NSA just for fun sort of thing where you both get what you want then part ways. What works (or whether it works at all) is different for every girl (and even your own personal style of dealing with them). Strip clubs are good for practicing this, simply because of the sheer number of opportunities per hour. Note I didn't say it's a good place to find an SB, unless she's already used to doing takeout, strippers are tough. But they are good for sharpening the dialog, and because they are so difficult to get what you want it makes you better when dealing with everyone else (because non strippers will seem less challenging by comparison). It's just salesmanship at the end of it all, and rejection is a part of it. The goal is to reduce the frequency of rejection to the point that you've always got a stream of multiple projects in flux, not to try to eliminate rejection entirely.[/QUOTE]Thanks for well thought out response, I'm sure it took time to compose and I appreciate it. Good hunting Bro's.
