Sexual Addiction Reports

[QUOTE=Teabag X]I am a sex addict and that's OK. I don't smoke crack. HELL! I don't use drugs at all. I don't commit felonies. I don't drive drunk. I only use a firearm when I have to. I salute the flag. I consider all service men and women as heros, as well as all prior service men and women. I own a business. I pay my taxes. I don't mooch off the system. I drink beer. I make moonshine. And I enjoy having sex with beautiful, petite, young ladies, that enjoy older men.

I'm not doing anything wrong.

I'm a sex addict. And that's OK.[/QUOTE]


Teabag, most of us are sex addicts and there is nothing wrong with that because it is totally natural. I also enjoy sex with those young petite babes.

[QUOTE=Civ2000]You could also get drunk everynight and not be an alcoholic. Millions of college kids do it. Loss of control, unsuccessful attempts to quit, guilt and remorse, and negative consequences.....that is addiction.[/QUOTE]
Which why Alcoholics Anonymous was such a complete failure in Russia. All Russians already knows they are alcoholics... and are fine with that!

The Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior which may indicate the presence of sex addiction. Developed in cooperation with hospitals, treatment programs, private therapists, and community groups, the SAST provides a profile of responses which help to discriminate between addictive and non-addictive behavior. Before starting the assessment we need basic information in order to build your profile.

Please indicate gender:

Male__ Female __
Indicate Orientation:
Heterosexual __ Bi-sexual __ Homosexual __

Please check any of the following which apply:
__I have no concerns about my sexual behavior but am curious how I would score.
__I have no concerns about my sexual behavior but others are concerned.
__I am having problems with my sexual behavior but do not consider myself a "sex addict".
__I know I am a sex addict.
__I have sought therapy because of my sexual problems.

To complete the test, answer each question by selecting yes/no.

1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent? Y/N
2. Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior? Y/N
3. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts? Y/N
4. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal? Y/N
5. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior? Yes No
6. Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you/family? Y/N
7. Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like? Y/N
8. Has anyone been hurt emotionally due to of your sexual behavior? Y/N
9. Are any of your sexual activities against the law? Y/N
10. Have you made efforts to quit a type of sexual activity and failed? Y/N
11. Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others? Y/N
12. Have you attempted to stop some parts of your sexual activity? Y/N
13. Have you felt degraded by your sexual behaviors? Y/N
14. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards? Y/N
15. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire? Y/N
16. Have important parts of your life (e.g. job, family, friends, leisure) been neglected because you were spending too much time on sex? Y/N
17. Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are? Y/N
18. Is sex almost all you think about? Y/N
19. Has sex (or fantasies) been a way for you to escape your problems? Y/N
20. Has sex become the most important thing in your life? Y/N
21. Are you in crisis over sexual matters? Y/N
22. Has the Internet created sexual problems for you? Y/N
23. Do you spend too much time online for sexual purposes? Y/N
24. Have you purchased services online for erotic purposes (sites for dating, pornography, fantasy and friend finder)? Y/N
25. Have you used the Internet to make romantic or erotic connections with people online? Y/N
26. Have people in your life been upset about your sexual activities online? Y/N
27. Have you attempted to stop your online sexual behaviors? Y/N
28. Have you subscribed to or regularly purchased or rented sexually explicit materials (magazines, videos, books or online pornography)? Y/N
29. Have you been sexual with minors? Y/N
30. Have you spent considerable time and money on strip clubs, adult bookstores and movie houses? Y/N
31. Have you engaged prostitutes and escorts for your sexual needs? Y/N
32. Have you spent considerable time surfing pornography online? Y/N
33. Have you used magazines, videos or online pornography even when there was considerable risk of being caught by family members who would be upset by your behavior? Y/N
34. Have you regularly purchased romantic novels or sexually explicit magazines? Y/N
35. Have stayed in romantic relationships after they became emotionally or physically abusive? Y/N
36. Have you traded sex for money or gifts? Y/N
37. Have you maintained multiple romantic or sexual relationships at the same time? Y/N
38. After sexually acting out, do you sometimes refrain from all sex for a significant period? Y/N
39. Have you regularly engaged in sadomasochistic behavior? Y/N
40. Do you visit sexual bath-houses, sex clubs or adult video/bookstores as part of your regular sexual activity? Y/N
41. Have you engaged in unsafe or "risky" sex even though you knew it could cause you harm? Y/N
42. Have you cruised public restrooms, rest areas or parks looking for sex with strangers? Y/N
43. Do you believe casual or anonymous sex has kept you from having more long-term intimate relationships? Y/N
44. Has your sexual behavior put you at risk for arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency? Y/N
45. Have you been paid for sex? Y/N

If you picked up any new ideas from this test, you just might be addicted!

Be safe

One of my recent experiences is, that I've got all sorts of other shit going on in my life so I'm not mongering as much (or at all) as I used to. I've started a new school program, full time, high pressure, and I find that the social outlet of meeting all sorts of new people is really tempting me away from mongering. If I end up with a spare weekend night, maybe even a little tipsy because I was at a social hour, I'm not tempted to go slip off to the monger-zone and get an AMP service. Instead, I'm tempted (in a "what I WANT to do with my time" sort of thing) to get on Facebook and internet-chat with my classmates about some interesting idea that came up; or just get a textbook out and go back over something again because it was cool to me. In particular, I have FRIENDS who don't monger, and they're not UNHAPPY ABOUT LIFE or grumpy like I was. They get me up, instead of my life bringing me down.

For now, this is a solution to my desire to back off from mongering. I'm meeting plenty of younger women, and they spend time with me interacting as though I'm not a jerk. In fact, people, seem to respect me. They like my company. A few think I'm a bit wonky, weird, an older guy hanging out with younger people, but that's OK, I'm game to be the "king of the geeks." It feels like I have friends instead of adversaries. The girls are some of them flighty and difficult to deal with, but instead of them slamming me for the fact that I don't "know how to treat a woman," they instead want my opinion, and like being around me even if they'd never fuck me in a million years. I get the sense, that if or when I actually DO make a pass at one of the ones who's shown some interest, it won't be some kind of occasion for her to be a raving **** to me about how she can manipulate and control me. Instead, it would just be a pair of humans bumbling around like all of us do, and there'd be no bad power-imbalance that drove me to drink, to anger, to hatred of the manipulativeness of women. As I look forward at that possibility, it just seems like natural human clumsiness and wishful thinking on both sides, rather than the fucked up North American model of things which castrates and frustrates men at every turn. It all looks better, at least in my imagination.

This much for now is a wonderful change. I guess I had to get into a forward-looking program, to experience this. Partly, I'm anticipating being more employable, having a better life, more prospects, after I'm done with this degree (Spring 2011). I feel like, when I go to a club, and a girl asks me "so, what do you do?" I don't have to be apologetic. I don't have to MAKE UP something that's impressive, or somehow TWIST what I'm doing to the point that she'll give me the time of day. That means, I'm free to be myself, have my own opinions, because I feel like I deserve the audition.

I remember in my last job, some of the more senior staff were hanging about chatting about some of our ongoing projects. One of the Senior Editors took down a picture of one of the latest authors of ours (it was a publishing house) and pointed out, that she was a very attractive woman. He commented something like, "She's probably married to some doctor or lawyer." He said it with chagrin, annoyance. Like, "... and I'm only a Senior Editor and therefore MY wife has to be uglier than her." Well, I thought at the time, "Gosh, and now *I'M* trapped into being like the Senior Editor, over time, slowly getting to his status." Now, however, I look at my own life and I think, there are CHOICES, opportunities. I can ask Emma out tomorrow. She might say yes. That sounds good. If she says no, or decides she only wants dinner and not fucky-fucky, then I'll still enjoy dinner. That also sounds good from this vantage. I can still ask Caroline out the next day. And it's not UNREASONABLE for me to do these things. I'm not "some Senior Editor who shouldn't think he deserves to be happy," not "some guy who is supposed to accept that his life will be bad."

The whole outlook, from inside me, changed. So far that's a good thing. And, gee what a surprise, the mongering interest shifted along with it.

(And, again, I'll repeat, I don't try to encourage others to do as I'm doing, nor do I judge anyone negatively or positively for his own choice. Plenty of us can monger and do so with little or no negative consequences, or even a preponderance of extremely positive consequences, and they can choose to continue to do so, and I just say "more power to 'em!" I have no aims at changing their behavior, or recommending any new path, for THEM. I'm just saying that my OWN mongering has been something I've wanted to be able to change. And yet, in the past, I've really had very little self-control on that issue, and very little success with alternate programs of action and behavior. I just kept on doing the same old thing, drinking and mongering and spending money I shouldn't have had -- even though if I'd invested it back then I would be poor because of the stocks crash, just like I am now, and so I'm glad I spent it!)

So God bless the lot of you.

I hope you don't mind hearing from a woman on some of these forums; I tend to speak my mind (at least on paper...er, on the keyboard) and have an opinion or two regarding this subject.

First of all, I am definitely a sex addict - always have been. I've chosen my profession as a provider as a natural consequence of my sexual appetites. But even a "busy" day (which I would consider more than four customers) still leaves me twitchy and wanting. That's why I try to give every one of my clients my all...not only because I love to please men, but because I so very much want to reach that feeling of "completion" that so many of you delicious men seem to take for granted.

Don't get my wrong; I orgasm with every customer, usually squirting several times. But I rarely "climax," as in "Ok, I'm done, let me sleep." It usually takes several hours to get me there, and that's not my usual professional experience.

I always laugh when I hear men wishing they had a nymphomaniac as a girlfriend. I've yet to find one that doesn't "tap out" on me after a few weeks or maybe months. Apparently, there are only so many 3-5 hour sessions any man wants in a week. I inevitably end up frustrated and move on to someone new.

Well, I just wanted to give you guys a little insight into the other half of your hobby. Not that I'm necessarily a "typical" provider. But men aren't the only ones addicted to sex. Some women just make a career, rather than a hobby, out of their predilections.

Reads like spam to me. Generally, women affirming themselves to be so goal-directed as the previous post -- counting orgasm; planning on giving "my all" unit by unit -- and generally, women affirming their ability to do such visually pleasing performances as squirting, or expressing the notion of "completeness" in terms of orgasm rather than emotional bond ... are women who think like men. I'm not saying it isn't possible. Just unlikely.

These "assessment items" were no doubt designed by pathetic "12-Steppers" of "Sexaholics Anonymous" who have the same broad standard to include EVERYONE as an addict, as much as AA does with THEIR "assessments"! I truly doubt there is ANY clinical research behind ANY of these items/behavior questions!

[QUOTE=Mirrar]The Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior which may indicate the presence of sex addiction. Developed in cooperation with hospitals, treatment programs, private therapists, and community groups, the SAST provides a profile of responses which help to discriminate between addictive and non-addictive behavior. Before starting the assessment we need basic information in order to build your profile.

Please indicate gender:

Male__ Female __
Indicate Orientation:
Heterosexual __ Bi-sexual __ Homosexual __

Please check any of the following which apply:
__I have no concerns about my sexual behavior but am curious how I would score.
__I have no concerns about my sexual behavior but others are concerned.
__I am having problems with my sexual behavior but do not consider myself a "sex addict".
__I know I am a sex addict.
__I have sought therapy because of my sexual problems.

To complete the test, answer each question by selecting yes/no.

1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent? Y/N
2. Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior? Y/N
3. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts? Y/N
4. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal? Y/N
5. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior? Yes No
6. Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you/family? Y/N
7. Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like? Y/N
8. Has anyone been hurt emotionally due to of your sexual behavior? Y/N
9. Are any of your sexual activities against the law? Y/N
10. Have you made efforts to quit a type of sexual activity and failed? Y/N
11. Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others? Y/N
12. Have you attempted to stop some parts of your sexual activity? Y/N
13. Have you felt degraded by your sexual behaviors? Y/N
14. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards? Y/N
15. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire? Y/N
16. Have important parts of your life (e.g. job, family, friends, leisure) been neglected because you were spending too much time on sex? Y/N
17. Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are? Y/N
18. Is sex almost all you think about? Y/N
19. Has sex (or fantasies) been a way for you to escape your problems? Y/N
20. Has sex become the most important thing in your life? Y/N
21. Are you in crisis over sexual matters? Y/N
22. Has the Internet created sexual problems for you? Y/N
23. Do you spend too much time online for sexual purposes? Y/N
24. Have you purchased services online for erotic purposes (sites for dating, pornography, fantasy and friend finder)? Y/N
25. Have you used the Internet to make romantic or erotic connections with people online? Y/N
26. Have people in your life been upset about your sexual activities online? Y/N
27. Have you attempted to stop your online sexual behaviors? Y/N
28. Have you subscribed to or regularly purchased or rented sexually explicit materials (magazines, videos, books or online pornography)? Y/N
29. Have you been sexual with minors? Y/N
30. Have you spent considerable time and money on strip clubs, adult bookstores and movie houses? Y/N
31. Have you engaged prostitutes and escorts for your sexual needs? Y/N
32. Have you spent considerable time surfing pornography online? Y/N
33. Have you used magazines, videos or online pornography even when there was considerable risk of being caught by family members who would be upset by your behavior? Y/N
34. Have you regularly purchased romantic novels or sexually explicit magazines? Y/N
35. Have stayed in romantic relationships after they became emotionally or physically abusive? Y/N
36. Have you traded sex for money or gifts? Y/N
37. Have you maintained multiple romantic or sexual relationships at the same time? Y/N
38. After sexually acting out, do you sometimes refrain from all sex for a significant period? Y/N
39. Have you regularly engaged in sadomasochistic behavior? Y/N
40. Do you visit sexual bath-houses, sex clubs or adult video/bookstores as part of your regular sexual activity? Y/N
41. Have you engaged in unsafe or "risky" sex even though you knew it could cause you harm? Y/N
42. Have you cruised public restrooms, rest areas or parks looking for sex with strangers? Y/N
43. Do you believe casual or anonymous sex has kept you from having more long-term intimate relationships? Y/N
44. Has your sexual behavior put you at risk for arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency? Y/N
45. Have you been paid for sex? Y/N

If you picked up any new ideas from this test, you just might be addicted!

Be safe[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Book Guy]Reads like spam to me. Generally, women affirming themselves to be so goal-directed as the previous post.- counting orgasm; planning on giving "my all" unit by unit.- and generally, women affirming their ability to do such visually pleasing performances as squirting, or expressing the notion of "completeness" in terms of orgasm rather than emotional bond. Are women who think like men. I'm not saying it isn't possible. Just unlikely. [/QUOTE]I know I've been insulted, but not quite sure as to the nature of the affront. I suppose you're calling me a liar, but I'm not sure upon what what you're basing your opinion.

And I'm really don't know what you mean by "spam. " USG is the only place I posted that response, and I didn't write it for any hope of gain. I merely wanted to share with you gentlemen the fact that sex "addiction" is not located on the Y chromosome.

I don't call myself typical or representative of my gender or profession. What I wrote is what I truly feel. Yes, I know my attitude toward sex is more like of a man, but it's no hype or bullshit. Do you think that all providers are really just angling for someone to cuddle up with?

To stay on-thread, I'll just say one more thing about my addiction: instead of letting my obsession with sex interrupt my "real" life, I incorporated it and now make a living out of your hobby. ("I enjoy being a girl. ")

Oh, and my G-spot doesn't know or care whether or not it's "visually pleasing" to you for me to squirt; it's just what happens when I come.

V

OK OK, I demur. Sorry if I came across as insulting; it was more defensiveness, than aggression, which I intended to convey. I just felt a bit of worry on the basis of your previous post, and I felt it important to share that worry. The worry was, that the post in question sounded to me like typical "starved-for-attention net-trolling male attempting to sound like horny female" posting (or permutation there-of), which is all too common on these sorts of boards. If your statements were genuine, then I'm sorry I called you out for something you didn't do.

Presuming arguendo that your statements were the truth: I do congratulate you on your evident capacity to move on from a self-daignosed condition and incorporate it into your life in a positive way that allows you to make it a benefit rather than a detriment. I'm sure you know that most of us won't be able to do that. Hot female sex addicts can become providers (given a set of other characteristics and willingnesses etc.); horny male sex addicts can seldom do the same for themselves. Most of us on this thread would LOVE to be able to wave a magic wand and change the world such that we were paid-for-play gigolos with nothing but nubile, beautiful, desperately horny women demanding our attention all day every day. Oh wouldn't it be woeful to be a male sex addict then? :) No, of course not. The world would actually FULFILL rather than DENY our needs.

I recall once on TER, a hot female provider -- call her Brandy --posted something along these lines: "I just had the most wonderful experience. I saw the Goddess. I and a woman with whom I have a deal to provide erotic services (they work together) decided to take a weekend off together, and call our favorite friend. Call him Pablo. Pablo and I and Juliette, we lay about the garden, gave each other massages, engaged in long stimulating foreplay, and finally tweaked each other to amazing, slow orgasms under the beautiful midnight moon. I don't understand why other men can't be as accommodating, giving, and sharing as Pablo and Juliette were. If you men would just stop being so selfish, and stop CARING about your own petty peeny little orgasms, and instead just let things come as they may, then you'd find that you were as close to seeing your God as I was to seeing my Goddess last night. I wish I could find men who would share with me like Pablo."

My response to this pablum was, to call her out at once. She was essentially saying, "if you're physically beautiful like Pablo or Juliette, and Brandy happens to give you the dumb-luck once-in-a-lifetime chance of lying around her expensive garden with her, then you'll be free to relax and not care about getting an orgasm with a hot woman because you'll know that the nut is forthcoming by the end of the evening. Now, presuming you ARE physically beautiful and Brandy happens to call you in to this tryst, she wants you to act nicer. And, oh, by the way, for the rest of you losers who aren't as hot as Pablo? Never mind the fact that you aren't Pablo, just go ahead and act like him anyway. Even if no hot woman EVER calls you, and you don't EVER get to cum, you'll still be thankful that you had the chance to be nice. Just sit around and wait for good things to happen. They happened to Pablo, who is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE YOU, and therefore they should happen to you, maybe. Even if good things don't happen to come about randomly, then her advice is, still, to just sit around waiting and doing the same thing over and over inactively, and maybe they will later. So, you should wait forever. And not be frustrated about lack of orgasm, in the interim."

What she doesn't GET, is not that her message is false. Her message is fairly true. The essential tenets aren't objectionable: you should relax, give to others, stop caring about selfish needs like the immediate-gratification style of typical male orgasm, and you'll probably have a better experience in life. Yeah, true dat.

What she doesn't GET, is that her message isn't APPLICABLE. Most men on that bulletin board ARE NOT PABLO or JULIETTE. We're here BECAUSE we're desperate. We can't CHOOSE to do without orgasm. Biologically, FACTUALLY, we NEED IT IMMEDIATELY. It'd be nice to learn to be more relaxed about it. But tell a man dying of thirst, "We have better water coming tomorrow. Why don't you wait a bit. Here's a nice chair. Go dilly-dally in the garden."

We here can't just say, "Hey, I'm going to act like Pablo because I know Brandy and Juliette are going to give me a call." They aren't. Pablo, furthermore, probably got laid with Betty the night before Brandy called, or at least, no more than a week previously, I'll bet. Therefore, when Brandy called, he was already well-screwed-out. He'd gotten a nut or two. He wasn't frustrated and angry at women. His balls sagged a bit. He thought of Brandy and Juliette as added spice to an already good life. I think of a chance with Brandy as the only small bit of nourishment I ever experience, the few drops of life-sustenance I can barely scrape up, once every six months or so. I'm the man dying of thirst. Don't deny me whatever water is immediately available, I might not make it.

We aren't so lucky as Pablo. Our looks, or wealth, or height, or "style," is the sort that makes us wait and wait and ... if we're really nice to hot chicks ... wait some more. And never get called. We have to BE PROACTIVE. We can't rely on dumb-butt Brandy to "happen" to decide to make our lives better for free.

It never ceases to amaze me, that women misunderstand this about most men. Even about men who are so bad at getting laid, that we ask one another's advice ON A SEX-ADDICT bulletin board, at a web site devoted to GETTING MONGERING OPPORTUNITIES. We are the blind leading the blind, yet still someone arrives to tell us to just take off the sunglasses and the moonlight will be so pretty. Blind. Moonlight. Duh.

Somehow, the advice given, seems to always be, "Just act like John F. Kennedy, Jr., and everything will be fine if you're John F. Kennedy, Jr." There's no dispensation for the 99.9999999% of us who aren't John F. Kennedy, Jr.

In like manner, your recent post says, "Just realize that women can be sex addicts too, and if you realize that, then all the females who are sex addicts will be free to act the way female sex addicts might choose to act." Jeepers. That applies to us ... HOW?

[QUOTE=Book Guy]In like manner, your recent post says, "Just realize that women can be sex addicts too, and if you realize that, then all the females who are sex addicts will be free to act the way female sex addicts might choose to act." Jeepers. That applies to us ... HOW?[/QUOTE]First of all, your logic as it applies to my remarks is captious. Yes, I wanted you all to know that there are women sex addicts. But your (men's) acceptance or rejection of that fact has nothing to to do with how I act, or how any woman acts. I don't need your permission, or even understanding, to conduct my life as I choose.

Secondly, you seem to be under the impression that, since I service men all day in my profession, my only function on this site is to somehow be of service to the men. Your implication that my post doesn't necessarily apply to all of the men on this site is correct; however, it does apply to sex addiction, which is what this thread is about, and I know that some men share my frustration at needing several hours of solid sex to to feel "done."

Much like Teabag X posted in an earlier response, I'm merely affirming that "I am a sex addict and that's OK" (from Teabags X's post).

Yikes, didn't mean to cause an argument, Verotica. I thought I'd apologized, but evidently I did a bad job of it. So, umm, again, sorry. :(

Anyway, yeah, you have a right to say, "I'm a sex addict too." I didn't mean to disparage that.

I think you can probably see, however, despite the above, where I'm coming from. My (admittedly rather long-winded) anecdote about Pablo et al. goes more to my point, than any accidentally negative comment I made toward you, Verotica. Maybe I was too long-winded. I'll try to put it tersely. What I'm getting at is, simply, the following notion:

Most male sexual addiction, and male lack of adequate access to sexuality, are essentially the same.

(Sure, there are some men who, even if they had enough sex enough of the time with hot-enough partners for free, would still be controlled by their addiction to the point of dysfunction. Yup, they're a different kettle of fish. And sure, the question of female sexual addiction isn't discussed in that sentence of mine. Yup, you're a different kettle of fish, too.)

And I think that this straightforward formulation is the heart of the matter. If most men GOT ENOUGH AT ALL then most men wouldn't be UNHAPPY ABOUT HOW THE DRIVE FOR SEX CONTROLS US.

Frankly, the only thing I need, to "fix" my need for sexuality, is more sex. It's not like I'm obsessive, or desperate, or somehow living a bad or imbalanced life. It's just a straightforward formula. Level of desire? 99 out of 100. Level of access? 1 out of 100. Discrepancy? 98. A 98% discrepancy between what I want, and getting what I want, is by definition an unhappy life. There ya go, that's my "sexual addiction" in a nutshell.

I'm sure there are other intelligent tangents to take that subject. I was responding to your initial post, Verotica, from the point of view of wishing to convey that simple nutshell, nothing more. You can see now how you're really almost contradicting my intent? I know you didn't mean to, but it ends up being that way anyway.

Presuming, of course, you're for real at all. :)

One thing for sure that makes men's addiction different than women is accessibility. If men had access to sex they won't feel they are addicted. Women definitely have more access that's why the market of supply and demand gave them the chance to charge for it. There is no free sex. Even the one that might seem free it ends up to be the most expensive one. So what's addiction?

The term "addiction" is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion, or excessive physical dependence or psychological dependence, such as: drug addiction, alcoholism, compulsive overeating, problem gambling, computer addiction, etc.

In medical terminology, addiction is a state in which the body relies on a substance for normal functioning and develops physical dependence, as in drug addiction. When a state of Chemistry on which someone is dependent is suddenly removed, it will cause withdrawal, a characteristic set of signs and symptoms. In physiological terms, addiction is not necessarily associated with substance abuse since this form of addiction can result from using medication as prescribed by a doctor.

The term addiction is also sometimes applied to compulsions that are not substance-related, such as sex and computer addiction. In these kinds of common usages, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life.

However, common usage of the term addiction has spread to include psychological dependence. In this context, the term is used in drug addiction and substance abuse problems, but also refers to behaviours that are not generally recognised by the medical community as problems of addiction, such as compulsive sex.

[i]Such as Verotica though she has solutions for the problem one of them is do not charge for the hour. Let your customer know he can spend as much time I am sure you will find men like myself.[/i]



[QUOTE=Verotica]First of all, your logic as it applies to my remarks is captious. Yes, I wanted you all to know that there are women sex addicts. But your (men's) acceptance or rejection of that fact has nothing to to do with how I act, or how any woman acts. I don't need your permission, or even understanding, to conduct my life as I choose.

Secondly, you seem to be under the impression that, since I service men all day in my profession, my only function on this site is to somehow be of service to the men. Your implication that my post doesn't necessarily apply to all of the men on this site is correct; however, it does apply to sex addiction, which is what this thread is about, and I know that some men share my frustration at needing several hours of solid sex to to feel "done."

Much like Teabag X posted in an earlier response, I'm merely affirming that "I am a sex addict and that's OK" (from Teabags X's post).[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Verotica]First of all, your logic as it applies to my remarks is captious. Yes, I wanted you all to know that there are women sex addicts. But your (men's) acceptance or rejection of that fact has nothing to to do with how I act, or how any woman acts. I don't need your permission, or even understanding, to conduct my life as I choose.

Secondly, you seem to be under the impression that, since I service men all day in my profession, my only function on this site is to somehow be of service to the men. Your implication that my post doesn't necessarily apply to all of the men on this site is correct; however, it does apply to sex addiction, which is what this thread is about, and I know that some men share my frustration at needing several hours of solid sex to to feel "done."

Much like Teabag X posted in an earlier response, I'm merely affirming that "I am a sex addict and that's OK" (from Teabags X's post).[/QUOTE]

Verotica, there may be some women sex addicts or nymphos in this world. But the bottom line is that over 90% of the time men are paying women for the sexual relations they have together. Also it is not my intention to insult you but a friend of mine made the accurate observation that women control 70% of the money and own 100% of the p*ssy.

[QUOTE=Book Guy]Hot female sex addicts can become providers (given a set of other characteristics and willingnesses etc.); horny male sex addicts can seldom do the same for themselves. Most of us on this thread would LOVE to be able to wave a magic wand and change the world such that we were paid-for-play gigolos with nothing but nubile, beautiful, desperately horny women demanding our attention all day every day. Oh wouldn't it be woeful to be a male sex addict then? :) No, of course not. The world would actually FULFILL rather than DENY our needs..[/QUOTE]
Hey, I'd settle for "nothing but average-looking, 45-year old, desperately horny women demanding my attention"! I am not greedy :)

[QUOTE=Book Guy]Yikes, didn't mean to cause an argument, Verotica. I thought I'd apologized, but evidently I did a bad job of it. So, umm, again, sorry.[/QUOTE]I appreciate the sincerity of your apology and retract the tone, if not the message, of my previous post, Book Guy.

[QUOTE=Book Guy]Frankly, the only thing I need, to "fix" my need for sexuality, is more sex.... It's just a straightforward formula. Level of desire? 99 out of 100. Level of access? 1 out of 100. Discrepancy? 98. A 98% discrepancy between what I want, and getting what I want, is by definition an unhappy life. There ya go, that's my "sexual addiction" in a nutshell.
....
You can see now how you're really almost contradicting my intent? I know you didn't mean to, but it ends up being that way anyway. [/QUOTE]I understand the discrepancy; indeed, I pay my rent off of the discrepancy. Fair? No. But a fact of life in today's America.

And I can now see how my...well my [i]existence[/i] increases your frustration, since we are alike in certain areas of constitution, but live very different lives as a result of societies hang-ups and mores. You'll forgive me for not apologizing for being on the positive side of fortune in this one area of my life.

[QUOTE=Book Guy]Presuming, of course, you're for real at all. [/QUOTE]If you'd like proof that I'm genuine, both in flesh and attitude, PM for pics and more details.

V

[QUOTE=Orlando J]The term addiction is also sometimes applied to compulsions that are not substance-related, such as sex and computer addiction. In these kinds of common usages, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life.[/QUOTE]Orlando, the best definition of addiction I've heard to date is "a compulsive activity that interferes with one's daily functioning in a negative way."

Society determines whether or not the interference is "negative." Is a new groom "addicted" to his bride? Is a new mother "addicted" to her infant? Is a cancer patient "addicted" to the drama that treatment engenders? Society recognizes those circumstances as unusual and allows for sketchy behavior relating to these extraordinary events.

But an unsatisfied libido? Seems the very definition of the American male, at least according to the comedians and barflies of the world. Men are always "supposed" to be horny, women always required to resist. Unsatisfied females are supposed to be ugly or otherwise socially impaired. I'd just like to break down that myth a little.

I am neither ugly nor socially inept, but I remain largely unsatisfied. I service many men every week, most of whom claim to have very intense experiences here. I still twitch. I still want. I still yearn. I am a sex addict in the sense that I require sexual contact more often than society would deem appropriate.

[QUOTE=Orlando J][i]Such as Verotica though she has solutions for the problem one of them is do not charge for the hour. Let your customer know he can spend as much time I am sure you will find men like myself.[/i]

The best definition I've heard to date of a "nymphomaniac" is a woman who craves sex as much as the average male. I do not rush any of my clients, Orlando. I let them talk and f*** and stroke and feel as much as they need to. I [i]do[/i] and [i]will[/i] charge for my time - but I don't keep my eye on the clock.

Orlando, I used to give it away all the time, and the fact is that men who pay for sex actually tend to be more aware of the intricacies and nuances involved in the act (i.e. much more willing to explore and experiment to discover a mutual satisfaction). But you do hit on a good point - after all of the service-type sex all week, I do require the companionship of a knowing partner who does not pay me in cash, but only in the type of attention that I sell every day. I know that sounds contradictory, but through the years I've culled my lovers from the few-and-far-between, extraordinary clients who truly enjoy every aspect of sex - selfless giving and selfishly receiving.

But that's just me.

[QUOTE=Tomkat4848]Verotica, there may be some women sex addicts or nymphos in this world. But the bottom line is that over 90% of the time men are paying women for the sexual relations they have together. Also it is not my intention to insult you but a friend of mine made the accurate observation that women control 70% of the money and own 100% of the p*ssy.[/QUOTE]You don't offend me in the least, Tomkat. I'd just like to know where I can sign up for the other 50% of the money!

I don't call it fair, but, yes men pay for sex. Women pay for attention. And the world goes on.

If I had a point when I started this discussion, it was that I [i]do[/i] know what it's like to suffer from this addiction. Before I got in the trade, I spent many nights (and days!) just [b]wanting[/b]. Wanting sex, wanting men, wanting relief that I can't provide myself. Ironically, it wasn't until I started charging that I got at least [i]some[/i] relief.

One more thing, Tomkat. I have to argue with women having 100% control over sex, since I've met too many men who took control of [i]my[/i] kitty in no time flat, once they realized I was addicted. It's not an even comparison regarding men and women, but the fact remains that there is always someone around to take advantage of another person's addiction.

Just to add a couple points to the recent discussion --

1. Personally I could not bear the idea to be a prostitute to satisfy my sexual desires, unless maybe I could be picky about who I service. The majority of would-be clients must be rather undesirable, I imagine. I suppose some prostitutes try to be picky initially, but eventually they lower their standards and over time it becomes more about the money and (so I've heard) they typically become jaded about sex. I've met very few providers who seemed like nymphos -- but they do exist. (Of course, some guys may be better at stimulating an excited response than me !)

2. I think one major difference between men and women is that when it comes to reproduction, they potentially expend far different amounts of energy. And although we are discussing recreational sex, it is, after all, the instinct for reproduction which drives our desires (even if we are not conscious of it). For women, reproduction requires an enormous investment in energy -- for gestation and child-rearing. They are therefore more circumspect in their decisions. For men, the possibility exists to expend only a trivial amount of energy -- a hit-and-run fuck. Of course, in society we try to require that men hang around and take care of the kids (e.g. get married), so then they expend a similar amount of energy. Having said that, no doubt there are promiscious women and the whole subject is more complicated than what can be said in a short post. I'm just pointing out that this asymmetry in energy expenditure tends to differentiate the behaviour of the sexes, and it is the instinct which female prostitutes exploit.

I am also addicted to sex, paid or otherwise, and have no problem admitting it. I certainly don't want to be "cured" of this affliction. As most of us could say "I wish I still had all of the money I have spent in my life chasing pussy" Yes, I would be borderline rich, but a whole lot unhappier!

Not to thread-jack this, but I can assure you that Verotica is is the genuine article, in both flesh and attitude. If you find yourself in PHX do yourself a favor and look her up.

Side note: Verotica, glad you took my advice and joined up with our little community, Welcome! You have some pretty unique insights, as I am well aware of. Please join in any of the discussions. Most of us will welcome your thoughts and ideas. Look forward to our next visit!

CC

[QUOTE=Verotica]

If you'd like proof that I'm genuine, both in flesh and attitude, PM for pics and more details.

V[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Verotica]Orlando, the best definition of addiction I've heard to date is "a compulsive activity that interferes with one's daily functioning in a negative way."

Society determines whether or not the interference is "negative." Is a new groom "addicted" to his bride? Is a new mother "addicted" to her infant? Is a cancer patient "addicted" to the drama that treatment engenders?[/QUOTE]
Very good point. Part of the reason Alcoholic Anonymous was a complete failure in Russia is because what in America is considered an alcoholic, in Russia is a normal, perfectly functional adult. What in Russia is called an alcoholic, in America is a lost cause.

If a man's mongering habits harm his life otherwise, then yes he is an addict. But [i]exactly same habits[/i] can be harmful in a country where prostitution is illegal yet not in a country where it is legal. So "addiction" is societally defined.

I do not think I am a sex addict. I never allowed mongering to put strain on my finances, and I had gone for months at a time without seeing a provider yet did not get obsessed about it. Maybe I am a "sex conosseuir" -- I like to try different women; sometimes for no more than a private strip show, sometimes for quality massages, etc. When I first heard of mongers call themselves "hobbyists" I thought it was a hilarious euphemism, but now I realize I approach the whole business exactly as if it were a (somewhat dangerous) hobby. For that matter, I have other fairly expensive, somewhat dangerous, physically demanding hobbies, and when I am busy with those, mongering is put on hold.

Note to all wives who happen to read this: if your husband hunts, spearfishes, or skydives, [b]encourage[/b] him! The more time, money, and energy he spends doing these things, the less he has to chase pussy. OTOH, a true sex addict would load up his hunting gear, and later would come up with some excuse why he "had such a lousy day". :)

Verotica, the difference between men's sex addiction and women's is huge. If you like what you do you might end up being as pretty woman or Sarah Palin :)

Verotica, you missed my point in this post, of yours, however your recent response ,to Book Guy, if you re-read it. You would understand.
Women have more access to sex. They can not complain of being sex addicts.
By posting definitions of sex addiction, I wanted to clarify two things.
The frequency of needing sex (I'd call quantity) and the duration of sex (I'd call quality).
As I understand from your posting you are not satisfied and I'd say your problem is in the quality of sex. Well you have the solution for the problem. I do not want to reiterate. You also know the answer just simply do not charge for time with the guys that you feel are willing to satisfy you.

Finally you say [QUOTE=Verotica]I do require the companionship of a knowing partner who does not pay me in cash, but only in the type of attention that I sell every day. I know that sounds contradictory, but through the years I've culled my lovers from the few-and-far-between, extraordinary clients who truly enjoy every aspect of sex - selfless giving and selfishly receiving.[/quote]
[b]you are just like the majority of women who do not know what they want and need. That's our problem men who unfortunately love women. You want to have the cake and eat. You want money, attention, love, sex and everything on your terms/condition and whenever you want to apply those conditions. You want a guy who would pay to please you.[/b]
I have to tell you I picked a young lady few weeks ago. I saw her a couple of times after that. On the first time, she told me it's impossible to get her to orgasm on the first time though I felt she wanted pleasure. The second time I can feel she is trying hard not to cum. The third time, she was almost about to orgasm when she jumped out saying "what do you want? There are only two men who cared to satisfy me." Everytime I met her she complained about her problems. Obviously as she admitted she was in love with someone and still gieving the relation.
women are looking for attention

[QUOTE=Verotica]Orlando, the best definition of addiction I've heard to date is "a compulsive activity that interferes with one's daily functioning in a negative way."

Society determines whether or not the interference is "negative." Is a new groom "addicted" to his bride? Is a new mother "addicted" to her infant? Is a cancer patient "addicted" to the drama that treatment engenders? Society recognizes those circumstances as unusual and allows for sketchy behavior relating to these extraordinary events.

But an unsatisfied libido? Seems the very definition of the American male, at least according to the comedians and barflies of the world. Men are always "supposed" to be horny, women always required to resist. Unsatisfied females are supposed to be ugly or otherwise socially impaired. I'd just like to break down that myth a little.

I am neither ugly nor socially inept, but I remain largely unsatisfied. I service many men every week, most of whom claim to have very intense experiences here. I still twitch. I still want. I still yearn. I am a sex addict in the sense that I require sexual contact more often than society would deem appropriate.

[QUOTE=Orlando J][i]Such as Verotica though she has solutions for the problem one of them is do not charge for the hour. Let your customer know he can spend as much time I am sure you will find men like myself.[/i][/quote]

The best definition I've heard to date of a "nymphomaniac" is a woman who craves sex as much as the average male. I do not rush any of my clients, Orlando. I let them talk and f*** and stroke and feel as much as they need to. I [i]do[/i] and [i]will[/i] charge for my time - but I don't keep my eye on the clock.

Orlando, I used to give it away all the time, and the fact is that men who pay for sex actually tend to be more aware of the intricacies and nuances involved in the act (i.e. much more willing to explore and experiment to discover a mutual satisfaction). But you do hit on a good point - after all of the service-type sex all week, I do require the companionship of a knowing partner who does not pay me in cash, but only in the type of attention that I sell every day. I know that sounds contradictory, but through the years I've culled my lovers from the few-and-far-between, extraordinary clients who truly enjoy every aspect of sex - selfless giving and selfishly receiving.

But that's just me.[/QUOTE]

What city do you live in so we can all go out and get drunk and have some fun!!

Let the good times roll!

[QUOTE=Smackthatass]What city do you live in so we can all go out and get drunk and have some fun!!

Let the good times roll![/QUOTE]If you're ever in Phoenix, give me a call! PM me for my number (or just look in my post here in Provider Classifieds).

V

Comments Gents!

[quote]BBC NEWS
Inside a US sex addiction clinic

By Sima Kotecha
Newsbeat US reporter in Santa Fe

Like alcohol, drugs, and gambling, sex can become addictive too.

Celebrities Russell Brand and David Duchovny threw a spotlight on sex addiction by checking into rehabilitation centres in the States to get treatment for it.

Last year, Newsbeat discovered that sex addiction was a growing problem among men in the UK.

80% of the sex therapists we contacted said an increasing number of males were asking for help with sex addiction.

Today there are more than eight clinics in America offering specialist treatment to those who suffer from the disorder.

Newsbeat was given exclusive access to one of them.

The Life Healing Centre (LHC) is in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and it offers two sex addiction programmes: one for men and the other for women.

The centre is based at the top of a mountain range.

It's 7,500ft (2,286m) above sea level. The high altitude can make people feel light headed for a while.

From the balcony on campus, you can see nothing but mountains and desert.

Lose control

Rob Weiss is an addiction specialist. He created the sex addiction programme at LHC.

He said: "Sex addicts are people who lose control over healthy sexual choices.

"They say things to themselves like, 'I'm not going to go to that place for sex' or 'I'm not going to see that person for sex' but they continue to do it anyway.

"They show behaviours that are common to all addicts and they show consequences and thinking that is common to all addicts."

According to Mr. Weiss, 80% of sex addicts in the US are men.

It is impossible to say how many sex addicts there are though, as many don't admit to having the problem.

Psychologist and author Doctor Patrick Carnes, who has done substantial research in the area, estimates three to 5% of Americans suffer from the disorder.

Their behaviour can vary from compulsively watching porn online to visiting prostitutes at every opportunity.

Andy is 31 and is enrolled in the programme. He claims to have been a sex addict for years.

He said: "I was compulsive self-pleasuring, using pornography, going to prostitutes and having people sexually abuse and torture me for my pleasure."

His addiction got so out of control that he was unable to walk for a month after a dominatrix severely sexually abused him at his request.

"I was the masochist. Once I was so physically harmed because I'd taken it to an extreme level," he added.

Talking

So what goes on at this clinic which claims to cure sex addicts like Andy?

At LHC they focus on communication. Through hours of self-evaluation, the therapists and councillors attempt to get to the bottom of the cause of the addiction.

They believe in trauma exploration because many of the addicts have difficult pasts ranging from child abuse to problematic up-bringings.

The group sessions focus on reducing the shame in patients which goes along with the disorder.

The male addicts at LHC explained their addiction as being a force that was too great to control.

But Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, disagrees and says sex is about choices.

He said: "We think that sex addiction is not a proper definition.

"I mean it's up to you whether you go out and have sex with somebody.

"You have a choice or you stay in and watch EastEnders."

He thinks the condition would be better described as compulsive, obsessive or greedy.

Rob Weiss understands the scrutiny that comes with the term "sex addiction" but argues that it is a genuine problem and not just a glamorous term for someone who has a high sex drive.

He said: "I never think of sex addiction as being glamorous.

"The people I work with are often engaging in acts that they themselves aren't comfortable with.

"They hate themselves often for the types of places they go to and the behaviours they engage in.

"No sex addict would describe their behaviour as glamorous."

A 35-day programme at the centre doesn't come cheap.

It costs around £20,000. Doug is a sex addict and has been in rehab for several weeks.

He said: "As far as the number of women I've been with, it runs in the hundreds. I don't count.

"But now I hope to live a normal life, and have a normally functioning sex life."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/newsbeat/hi/health/newsid_7771000/7771758.stm

Published: 2008/12/09 07:17:12 GMT

© BBC MMVIII

Print Sponsor
Advertisement
BBC NEWS
Inside a US sex addiction clinic

By Sima Kotecha
Newsbeat US reporter in Santa Fe

Like alcohol, drugs, and gambling, sex can become addictive too.

Celebrities Russell Brand and David Duchovny threw a spotlight on sex addiction by checking into rehabilitation centres in the States to get treatment for it.

Last year, Newsbeat discovered that sex addiction was a growing problem among men in the UK.

80% of the sex therapists we contacted said an increasing number of males were asking for help with sex addiction.

Today there are more than eight clinics in America offering specialist treatment to those who suffer from the disorder.

Newsbeat was given exclusive access to one of them.

The Life Healing Centre (LHC) is in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and it offers two sex addiction programmes: one for men and the other for women.

The centre is based at the top of a mountain range.

It's 7,500ft (2,286m) above sea level. The high altitude can make people feel light headed for a while.

From the balcony on campus, you can see nothing but mountains and desert.

Lose control

Rob Weiss is an addiction specialist. He created the sex addiction programme at LHC.

He said: "Sex addicts are people who lose control over healthy sexual choices.

"They say things to themselves like, 'I'm not going to go to that place for sex' or 'I'm not going to see that person for sex' but they continue to do it anyway.

"They show behaviours that are common to all addicts and they show consequences and thinking that is common to all addicts."

According to Mr. Weiss, 80% of sex addicts in the US are men.

It is impossible to say how many sex addicts there are though, as many don't admit to having the problem.

Psychologist and author Doctor Patrick Carnes, who has done substantial research in the area, estimates three to 5% of Americans suffer from the disorder.

Their behaviour can vary from compulsively watching porn online to visiting prostitutes at every opportunity.

Andy is 31 and is enrolled in the programme. He claims to have been a sex addict for years.

He said: "I was compulsive self-pleasuring, using pornography, going to prostitutes and having people sexually abuse and torture me for my pleasure."

His addiction got so out of control that he was unable to walk for a month after a dominatrix severely sexually abused him at his request.

"I was the masochist. Once I was so physically harmed because I'd taken it to an extreme level," he added.

Talking

So what goes on at this clinic which claims to cure sex addicts like Andy?

At LHC they focus on communication. Through hours of self-evaluation, the therapists and councillors attempt to get to the bottom of the cause of the addiction.

They believe in trauma exploration because many of the addicts have difficult pasts ranging from child abuse to problematic up-bringings.

The group sessions focus on reducing the shame in patients which goes along with the disorder.

The male addicts at LHC explained their addiction as being a force that was too great to control.

But Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, disagrees and says sex is about choices.

He said: "We think that sex addiction is not a proper definition.

"I mean it's up to you whether you go out and have sex with somebody.

"You have a choice or you stay in and watch EastEnders."

He thinks the condition would be better described as compulsive, obsessive or greedy.

Rob Weiss understands the scrutiny that comes with the term "sex addiction" but argues that it is a genuine problem and not just a glamorous term for someone who has a high sex drive.

He said: "I never think of sex addiction as being glamorous.

"The people I work with are often engaging in acts that they themselves aren't comfortable with.

"They hate themselves often for the types of places they go to and the behaviours they engage in.

"No sex addict would describe their behaviour as glamorous."

A 35-day programme at the centre doesn't come cheap.

It costs around £20,000. Doug is a sex addict and has been in rehab for several weeks.

He said: "As far as the number of women I've been with, it runs in the hundreds. I don't count.

"But now I hope to live a normal life, and have a normally functioning sex life."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/newsbeat/hi/health/newsid_7771000/7771758.stm

Published: 2008/12/09 07:17:12 GMT

© BBC MMVIII[/quote]

Horndog132, it's an interesting article which explains the problem and some of the approaches to solutions. I like the idea of trauma exploration, as I bet that has a lot to do with many cases.

However, one problem with the article (and this is not your fault) is that it does not mention if the therapies actually work ! What is their success rate and how do they define success ? That part is totally unclear. The article needs a follow-up.

I have not gone through this thread deeply yet, but I have to sneak in a few cents until I have more time.

While the differences between men and women in our society definitely lead of great differences in how either gender will experience sexual addiction, I can assure you that the core of the addiction issue is just as acute ... and can be just as live-altering (or destructive). I have known women who have experienced it differently, and certainly differently then men, but it still controlled their lives, some very negatively.

The movie Black Snake Moan kind of deals (somewhat successfully) with a young woman's sexual compulsion resulting from abuse.

[QUOTE=Verotica]You don't offend me in the least, Tomkat. I'd just like to know where I can sign up for the other 50% of the money!

I don't call it fair, but, yes men pay for sex. Women pay for attention. And the world goes on.

If I had a point when I started this discussion, it was that I [i]do[/i] know what it's like to suffer from this addiction. Before I got in the trade, I spent many nights (and days!) just [b]wanting[/b]. Wanting sex, wanting men, wanting relief that I can't provide myself. Ironically, it wasn't until I started charging that I got at least [i]some[/i] relief.

One more thing, Tomkat. I have to argue with women having 100% control over sex, since I've met too many men who took control of [i]my[/i] kitty in no time flat, once they realized I was addicted. It's not an even comparison regarding men and women, but the fact remains that there is always someone around to take advantage of another person's addiction.[/QUOTE]

Verotica what you say is true and I'm glad you are not offended. If I knew where to find the other 50% of the money I would sign us both up. In the meantime, I wouldn't mind sharing my addiction with your addiction and I don't think I would try to take advantage of it. I bet my addiction which is a natural physical and mental hard drive is a lot stronger than yours. It would be fun to find out. What do you think?

It a feminized society's attempt to castrate male's.

And here is my screen name.

Smiling Fox

[QUOTE=Verotica]Orlando, the best definition of addiction I've heard to date is "a compulsive activity that interferes with one's daily functioning in a negative way."[/QUOTE]

I have just discovered there is a 12 step program for our affliction out there:

[url]http://www.sexaa.org/[/url]

Part of their definintion of sexual addiction is

[b]"The essence of all addiction is the addicts' experience of powerlessness over a compulsive behavior, resulting in their lives becoming unmanageable. The addict is out of control and experiences tremendous shame, pain and self-loathing. The addict may wish to stop --- yet repeatedly fails to do so. The unmanageability of addicts' lives can be seen in the consequences they suffer: losing relationships, difficulties with work, arrests, financial troubles, a loss of interest in things not sexual, low self-esteem and despair."[/b] Sounds pretty close to Verotica's description to me.

After taking a look at a few pages, they provide a pretty comprehensive checklist to determine if you are a sex addict:

[b]Answer these twelve questions to assess whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction.

1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
7. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
8. Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we would encourage you to seek out additional literature as a resource or to attend a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to further assess your needs.[/b]

[url]http://www.sexaa.org/12ques.htm[/url]

After looking at this list, there's not much doubt in my mind of MY addiction. I'm guessing that many of us on this board suffer this affliction. Seems there are meetings happening close by....wonder if this may be a good place to meet/pick-up ladies? ;)

How about rewriting the code.

1. Did your sig. other ever ask you about porn, and you lie about it?
2. Did your sig. other ask about sharing porn? And you lied about your involvement in porn?
3. Did your sig. other ask about erotic stories and sharing them (and you lied)?
4. Did you say you were not involved in porn?
5. Have you ever done something that might transmit a STD?
6. Did you lie to the Sig. about the transmittle of an STD.
7. Have you ever had an STD?
8. Why do you have a sig. other if you indulge in these activities?
9. Should she know?
10. What are the results?
11. Do overs would you change anything? HH and hate to be an ass hoe but gives you something to think about.

Did Sex Addiction kill him.....

[url]http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090606/ap_on_en_mo/as_carradine_death[/url]

Damn!!!!

BALDY CRUISER

To Chica Chaser: dude, I'm sure you realize, that the twelve-step program which you found, has extremely heavy doses of both JUDGING and MORALIZING from a set of religious assumptions. (Of course, it will always be near-impossible for any program of social and psychological recovery, NOT to include some base assumptions of one sort or another, whether they be homiletic Christian fundamentalism, or flakey fake New Age pseudo-spiritualism, so it's not like we should be surprised that there's a foundational point of view to those 12 steps!) For example, I'm uncomfortable with any program that asks, " 11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?" without also remembering, that many "average" or "normal" sex acts nevertheless have at least a small chance of causing both disease and pregnancy.

To Hell on Wls: I don't quite understand your tone. You rightly "turn the tables" on Chica Chaser's initial 12-step post (just below yours) but I can't quite tell whether you're turning those tables in earnest or in irony. See, I find BOTH posts a bit ironic and off-putting.

And by the way, to all -- I don't want to dismiss claims of sexual addiction, or claims of the potential for recovery that a morally-based program (perhaps even a religious one!) might bring. To each his own.

I know that my own "addiction" (if it ever really was that) has actually been more, a type of psychological "fervor" for many cravings and failures at impulse-control. As I've begun to understand that my condition isn't "normal" -- that I'm genuinely NOT a fully functional, adjusted, North American citizen -- I've also come to understand, that my sex acts aren't really the root of the problem. They're a symptom of a larger picture. I'm part ADHD or ADD; I'm part depressed; I'm partly just a typically ego-centric guy who had good genetic luck to get decently good looks, fairly wealthy parents who ensured a high-caliber elite education, extremely high IQ, all "naturally." I don't claim ANY CREDIT for any of these status symbols -- I did literally NOTHING to achieve them. Nevertheless, they do reasonably give me a perfectly normal sense, that I want as a partner only a woman who is as appealing to me, as I would believe I could be to her. I'm not a troll (thank you, GOOD LUCK and nothing else) and I don't mistreat her (thank you, GOOD LUCK and nothing else) and I'm well educated, with a high income potential, a stable family life, good grooming habits, and a sense of humor (thank you GOOD LUCK! and hard work to KEEP the benefits that the luck gave me). So, it's actually perfectly REASONABLE of me, to seek high-quality sex partners. The fact that I'm perpetually disappointed in my sexual access (see Chica Chaser's twelve questions, especially number 8!) is simply ... COMMON SENSE. Fat ugly North American bitches are, quite frankly, BAD CATCHES.

So, is that dysfunction? Or good reasoning?

A little bit of both ...

Book Guy; Dude, (dude??...what educated professional uses that term?) obviously, I didn't make the "tongue-in-cheek" tone of my 12-step post clear to either you or Hell On Wls. I suppose I figured you would would pick up on that with my last sentence of the post.

I am, of course, familiar with the 12-step programs for alcoholics, drug abusers, gamblers, etc. Yes, they certainly have a basis in religious beliefs. I think that these types of programs can be very beneficial to those individuals that "want" to get off or overcome of whatever addiction they have. These groups can provide a solid support foundation for them.

As I said in some earlier posts on this thread, I am a sex addict, I have no problem admitting and accepting that, in fact, I am quite comfortable with it. I have no "want" to change that. I was merely bringing to the board's attention that there is a 12-step program out there for sexual addiction as it was the first time I had heard of it. Not that I am a member or supporter or believer, only that it exists.

So sorry to have "off-put" you with my posting (most of which is a copy/paste from the organizations website, see the bolded print) Now, since you brought it up, I find your comments about your upbringing, your high-caliber, elite education, your extremely high IQ, your decent good-looks, good grooming habits, et al plus your general pontificating, to be quite "off-putting" to me. It seems that I was raised in much the same manner and share many of your personal habits and beliefs. However, I think that if you have to tell someone all of these things about yourself, either in person or on an anonymous internet posting board, then you just come across as a pompous and self-boasting ass. Looking at your past posting history and writings just confirms that fact, to me at least. Again we are all entitled to our own opinions, I just don't always see a need or an advantage to express them all the time; nor would I, had you not made your comments below.

To Hell On Wls; I have to agree with Mr. Book Guy, when I originally read your post I did not know if you were writing earnestly or in jest. Quite frankly, I couldn't care less, either way. My addiction is my issue, it does not affect anyone else. I do have a SO, with the same affliction and we have certain rules for extra-curricular activities in place, for each of us, that we are both comfortable with. Communication and honesty are big keys to relationship happiness.

[QUOTE=Chica Chaser]Book Guy; Dude, (dude??...what educated professional uses that term?) obviously, I didn't make the "tongue-in-cheek" tone of my 12-step post clear to either you or Hell On Wls. I suppose I figured you would would pick up on that with my last sentence of the post.

I am, of course, familiar with the 12-step programs for alcoholics, drug abusers, gamblers, etc. Yes, they certainly have a basis in religious beliefs. I think that these types of programs can be very beneficial to those individuals that "want" to get off or overcome of whatever addiction they have. These groups can provide a solid support foundation for them.

As I said in some earlier posts on this thread, I am a sex addict, I have no problem admitting and accepting that, in fact, I am quite comfortable with it. I have no "want" to change that. I was merely bringing to the board's attention that there is a 12-step program out there for sexual addiction as it was the first time I had heard of it. Not that I am a member or supporter or believer, only that it exists.

So sorry to have "off-put" you with my posting (most of which is a copy/paste from the organizations website, see the bolded print) Now, since you brought it up, I find your comments about your upbringing, your high-caliber, elite education, your extremely high IQ, your decent good-looks, good grooming habits, et al plus your general pontificating, to be quite "off-putting" to me. It seems that I was raised in much the same manner and share many of your personal habits and beliefs. However, I think that if you have to tell someone all of these things about yourself, either in person or on an anonymous internet posting board, then you just come across as a pompous and self-boasting ass. Looking at your past posting history and writings just confirms that fact, to me at least. Again we are all entitled to our own opinions, I just don't always see a need or an advantage to express them all the time; nor would I, had you not made your comments below.

To Hell On Wls; I have to agree with Mr. Book Guy, when I originally read your post I did not know if you were writing earnestly or in jest. Quite frankly, I couldn't care less, either way. My addiction is my issue, it does not affect anyone else. I do have a SO, with the same affliction and we have certain rules for extra-curricular activities in place, for each of us, that we are both comfortable with. Communication and honesty are big keys to relationship happiness.[/QUOTE]You hit the nail on the head! Your SO knows and guide lines have been set! That was my point. Have fun and be safe. How

Chica Chaser --

We misunderstood one another. Then, one of us abandoned the discussion of the topic at hand and, instead, attacked the other through character-assassination (derived strictly from subjective implications of what his statement MIGHT imply, not what it ACTUALLY SAID).

Good.

Nice Work.

[QUOTE=Smiling Fox]It a feminized society's attempt to castrate male's.

And here is my screen name.

Smiling Fox[/QUOTE]


Pitty the poor pussys that fall for this stuff...

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Does any one have advice for sexual addiction, can it be curred?