Most Creative Post of 2006 Award
[QUOTE=SummerSausage]Santa went to see a reindeer at Kneaderbodies on Thomas today since the deer at the regular location ran off with Rudolph. When Santa got there he was offered a couple of jugs of milk and cookies. He thought the milk came in plastic jugs since they were so large, but after lengthy sampling he was sure the milk was in natural containers. Santa loved the cookies, especially with the milk.
Seems this deer was of asian lineage with a name that started with and M, Michele I think, a freind of Cupid I guess.[/QUOTE]
You have my vote!
DN
Communiqué from the North Pole
Got a communiqué from the North Pole today. Seems Santa woke up with a fire in his Yule log.
Mrs. Claus was tending to Rudolph's broken nose as he/she broke it off with that deer from the other place. Santa eyed the elves and they quickly puckered their butts and hid their women. The rest of the reindeer were grazing in the bog.
Santa decided to slip into his disguise and beat feet back to Phoenix and Kneaderbodies. He was dressed as an illegal and stood around across the street so as to blend in. When the time came he moved in and selected the same deer he saw on Tuesday.
To his surprise he felt he was given egg nog instead of milk as his mind must have been fuzzy. The face had a lot of make up but the body was still pretty nice. Santa thinks that deer is stealing tanning time as she was really dark for this time of year and for that asian vintage. No presents for that deer!
After sampling the milk with a clear head he thinks that the milk may in fact be in plastic jugs. Really hard to tell. That deer must have a really good vet. He also noted that the cookies must be diet as there was very low fiber and they scratched his face.
Sausage
CL Bust in Mesa, My Perspective
I would have liked to state my feelings about this incident earlier, but have been out of the country.
Here is my perspective on this:
A: The hotel manager was not merely "surfing the Web" as stated in the article. Anyone who is familiar with craigslist knows that "Erotic Services" are not out in the open, you have to click erotic, then go past the disclaimer, then click to enter, not something you do by accident, or "stumble" across. So, this means that he was INTENTIONALLY searching the erotic services section. I am assuming that Homestead Studio Suites Hotels allows their employees to search and browse for erotic services/porn/nude photos on company equipment on company time. Seems pretty liberal for a company based in South Carolina.
B: If the idiot they popped had kept his mouth shut, there is nothing the police could have done other than charge him with the traffic violation and the drug posession charges (DOHHHHH!) Lessons 1 & 2, Keep your mouth shut and don't have illegal items with you when mongering. Yeah, the cops could hassle you (and would) they would play good cop/bad cop with you, they would tell you she ratted you out, etc etc etc, but it boils down to a simple massage, nothing more, nothing less. She says she fucked you for money, you say you got a massage only. Unless they had the inside of the room bugged or had cameras, they have nothing other than her word. She is gonna go down quicker than you based on her ads and her drugs. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! What are they gonna charge you with, getting an unlicensed massage?? He was in and out in 10 mins? "Gee officer, I went there for a massage, she offered me sex for money, I said NO and left!!!" That is a better story in my opinion. When it boils right down to it, they had NOTHING on this guy other than his confession and his drugs. We all have the right to remain silent, use that right wisely, because it is VERY obvious that what you say CAN and WILL BE used against you. Fermin David Lopez, you are an Idiot!
C: Don't do bonehead things while driving that give them the opportunity to pull you over. Make sure all your lights are working, nothing broken, don't do stupid things. Notice that he was not charged with the illegal tint or the wide turn that he was originally pulled over for. He was charged with what he admitted to and what they found in his car. (pssst. from everything I read, he was arrested at night, illegal tint my ass!)
D: Never, EVER, EVER patronize Homestead Suites Studio Hotels, Extended Stay America, StudioPLUS Deluxe Studios or Extended Stay Deluxe Hotels. It is very obvious that they to not take the privacy of their customers seriously. I could totally understand if the maid tripped over a bale of pot or discovered a meth-lab or something very obvious like that, but for a manager to scan sexually oriented ads looking for sex and finding one of your customers, then turning her in? Come-on, how ridiculously lame is this prick?
E: It is too bad that several thousand people won't write to: Homestead Studio Suites Hotels, 100 Dunbar Street, Spartanburg SC. 29306. or call 864-573-1600 and tell them how disgusted you are with the fact that one of their managers would surf the web for sexually erotic services, apparently on company time. What a PR nightmare!! They allow managers to surf for porn/sex?? Do they let their managers solicit illegal drugs from customers so they can turn them in???
F: What kind of turd is this guy? He is scanning erotic services ads, presumably looking for some kind of erotic service, he comes across a picture of someone he recognizes, he goes straight to the police. This was prior to drugs being found. I think the reasonable thing to do would be to call her up and tell her, hey you can't do that here, you need to move out, leave, etc. No, he wants to be a hero, be famous. Lets make him famous, lets let his bosses know he is seeking erotic services! Again, this prick was not innocently surfing the web, he knew where he was surfing and what he was looking for.
Ok, enough of my rant. What have we learned today??? Be careful out there, and keep your mouth shut!! Oh yeah and write or call Homestead Studio Suites Hotel.
