Massage Parlor Reports

[QUOTE=HoodleDoodle;1556590]Far away and don't look back. On so many levels, the worst experience ever.[/QUOTE]I'm not positive but this sounds like someone I saw about 4-5 years ago. Only my second experience. My first had been a rushed one with a hot looking girl and this woman sounded friendly on the phone. I got to her house (yes, her house as she was in the process of getting a workplace). I arrive and she is wearing a bathrobe. Takes it off and her stomach looked like the back of giant turtle. Hard as a pregnant belly but much larger. Not flabby but like she had a shell under her skin. Wierd. She also smelled old lady perfume bad. So, she gives a good CBJ and talks a lot about the things she wants to do to me. I'm not into her but hop on for some mish. Her acting was awful and ruining the moment. Like a terrible porn movie. After about 3 minutes she says that is all and offers a prostate massage or jack off. I take the jack off. I finish up and leave. She could tell I was not happy and offered to let me come back at no charge (give her props for trying) but I had no interest. She had tons of rules and her faking it was awful. One of my worst experience in the hobby.

Everything I have posted on this forum or said in real life is a work of fiction. Every single thing ever.

[QUOTE=Kda Kodiac; 1556462]I guess I can pile on:

I am stating now for public record that every person I know, willing or unwilling, needs to be made aware that I not only do not speak the truth, carry the truth, or any means resemble the truth. All statements made here by me are fanciful representations of a mind in another dimension. Believe anything I say at your peril since all is made up or part of a warped sense of conjecture. In short truth is not spoken here.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Roscoe23;1558992]How was the session? I went there last week and it was pretty good.[/QUOTE]


I went there when they first opened, I was with the cute gal from the old Sennia's she's alway a good time. Went there a month R so ago. And as for as them saying grand opening? Some Spa's Been saying that for a realy time. Over a year R so

[QUOTE=Silvio;1556861]I Officially announce that I am full of shit. Anything I wrote or will write is complete bullshit. I have never engaged nor will I engage in any illegal activity. Its purely coincidental if I go to an AMP and my cock ends up in my therapists hand, mouth or pussy. Its merely a high tech hologram. The jizz extruding from said cock is simply a 3-Dimensional effect setup by yours truly. Don't forget your 3-D glasses for full effect. Furthermore I don't participate in anything deemed immoral or unethical. Any evidence pointing to the contrary is complete and utter bullshit fabricated by LEO with higher tech gadgets than I.[/QUOTE]That these things are like waving a red cape at a snorting 400 lb bull? Eh, whatever.

[QUOTE=Horny Dog #2; 1558834]Fireman,

I posted about one of the Nuru options near O'hare earlier this year. See link below.

[url]http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/showthread.php?7597-BackPage-Advertiser-Reviews&p=1436257#post1436257[/url][/QUOTE]_________________________________________________________________________________________________.

And how about this beauty below. WOW Any one know anything about her. May be need to take a trip to the north side to see her, Jean & Judes. Hot Dog.

[url]http://chicago.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/sexy-nuru-massage-beauty-amani-25-25/11372890[/url]

[QUOTE=Gopher88; 1560225]_________________________________________________________________________________________________.

And how about this beauty below. WOW Any one know anything about her. May be need to take a trip to the north side to see her, Jean & Judes. Hot Dog.

[url]http://chicago.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/sexy-nuru-massage-beauty-amani-25-25/11372890[/url][/QUOTE]Nuru is squishy slippery substance made from seaweed. They lay you on a plastic mat and ooze the nuru all over you. Then a naked asian girl slips and slides all over you. Never done it, wouldn't mind trying it.

[QUOTE=JuanPrimo;1560296]Nuru is squishy slippery substance made from seaweed. They lay you on a plastic mat and ooze the nuru all over you. Then a naked asian girl slips and slides all over you. Never done it, wouldn't mind trying it.[/QUOTE]Nuru is fun but it has to be with the right provider. Some do it up nice while others are looking for an excuse to jack up their prices.

[url]http://chicago.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/grand-openning-45/12658788[/url]

I called this place a couple of weeks ago for info. 45 for 1/2 hour & 65 for 1 hour, no shower. I passed because I felt that was too pricey for a place with no shower. Anyone here had any luck with this spot? Feel free to PM

[QUOTE=Gopher88; 1560225]_________________________________________________________________________________________________.

And how about this beauty below. WOW Any one know anything about her. May be need to take a trip to the north side to see her, Jean & Judes. Hot Dog.

[url]http://chicago.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/sexy-nuru-massage-beauty-amani-25-25/11372890[/url][/QUOTE]Gopher,

I would not expect that the girl you see will be the girl in the picture. It was not for me (but the girl was still attractive). It was a typical Asian apartment setup (where the girls in the ads are rarely the girl that is actually there). The only difference from the typical Asian apartment was the Nuru option for about 100 bucks more.

[QUOTE=Horny Dog #2; 1560822]Gopher,

I would not expect that the girl you see will be the girl in the picture. It was not for me (but the girl was still attractive). It was a typical Asian apartment setup (where the girls in the ads are rarely the girl that is actually there). The only difference from the typical Asian apartment was the Nuru option for about 100 bucks more.[/QUOTE]Thanks Mr. Dog

[QUOTE=JuanPrimo;1560296]Nuru is squishy slippery substance made from seaweed. They lay you on a plastic mat and ooze the nuru all over you. Then a naked asian girl slips and slides all over you. Never done it, wouldn't mind trying it.[/QUOTE]I wouldn't mind trying it ether

I did not know we needed this as I just assumed that everything everyone wrote on here including anything I have ever written was a complete fabrication. I will continue to write my stories but please do not assume they are based in fact at all.

[QUOTE=Gopher88;1560971]I wouldn't mind trying it ether[/QUOTE]I had the opportunity to try it a few weeks ago. It is very erotic and got me going! Is it worth the upcharge? I guess that depends on the girl and her performance. Also, you have to make sure they use actual Nuru gel. Some people try to save money and use oil instead. Also, when the Nuru gel dries, it becomes very sticky, and it's very tough to wash off.

My disclaimer: Everything that I have ever posted to this board or will post to this board is pure fiction. I have not and will not ever engage in any illegal activity.

BJ001

[QUOTE=Gopher88; 1560225]_________________________________________________________________________________________________.

And how about this beauty below. WOW Any one know anything about her. May be need to take a trip to the north side to see her, Jean & Judes. Hot Dog.

[url]http://chicago.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/sexy-nuru-massage-beauty-amani-25-25/11372890[/url][/QUOTE]Not long after I saw videos ripped from this site (nurumassage dot com) floating around the p2p file sharing community, a black provider started advertising it (nuru) on Chicago BP. Then a little while later a bunch of the asian apt started too. For a considerably heftier fee. Don't know if it's the real nuru gel stuff they are using, I have read numerous reports somewheres that it's not (at $50/quart, not surprising http://www.nurunurugel.com/buy-nuru-massage-gels/numa-nuru-gel-classic.html). But who cares. A hot naked slippery asian babe is a hot naked slippery asian babe. I wouldn't mind trying it either.

[QUOTE=BeetleJuice001; 1561378]I had the opportunity to try it a few weeks ago. It is very erotic and got me going! Is it worth the upcharge? I guess that depends on the girl and her performance. Also, you have to make sure they use actual Nuru gel. Some people try to save money and use oil instead. Also, when the Nuru gel dries, it becomes very sticky, and it's very tough to wash off.

My disclaimer: Everything that I have ever posted to this board or will post to this board is pure fiction. I have not and will not ever engage in any illegal activity.

BJ001[/QUOTE]And I agree with your Qoute:

My disclaimer: Everything that I have ever posted to this board or will post to this board is pure fiction. I have not and will not ever engage in any illegal activity. Gopher88