Massage Parlor Reports

[QUOTE=AngryNipples; 1569043]I had a dream that HT Pam stepped into Felica's house from the carport, and the first thing she saw (in small laundry room to the left) was a female operating a multiline telephone complete with a headset. Like she was a receptionist there to just take calls. Also in this dream, Janelle figured out what she was being used.

For, and BOOM. One less set of hands at HT.[/QUOTE]I don't understand why someone bothers to post something that is so cryptic that even people who know the principles can't follow it?

Here's a tip for you champ. If you're going to post things, number one they need to make some sort of sense, and not just to you. We shouldn't need a decoder to figure out what the hell you're talking about. The few posts you have make zero sense. I mean you obviously must have been a stellar English student by the way you construct your sentences. And secondly numb nuts, people post here to share information. If you're going to be in the habit of posting unreadable "insider" posts, and not be willing to explain yourself, you're going to be wasting your time and ours. It sounds like you're just the mac daddy of all this. So, we'll all be awaiting your post of how you conquered the Panda, but I'm pretty sure it would make zero sense, be extremely vague, and be total bullshit.

[QUOTE=AngryNipples;1569419]Spider. I actually got more and better service with Nicole the first time I visited her. And. Worth going back. I'm reluctant to share those type of trade secrets, But I'll say this. It has to do with knuckle-dragging, respect and the stereotypical "little head" slinging through someone's front door. Sounds to me like the Panda is working you guys like a violin. As fas as what the hell I'm talking about doesn't concern you. So just live with it champ.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=AngryNipples;1569419]Spider. I actually got more and better service with Nicole the first time I visited her. And. Worth going back. I'm reluctant to share those type of trade secrets, But I'll say this. It has to do with knuckle-dragging, respect and the stereotypical "little head" slinging through someone's front door. Sounds to me like the Panda is working you guys like a violin. As fas as what the hell I'm talking about doesn't concern you. So just live with it champ.[/QUOTE]I don't think Panda is working anyone since you actually get a decent massage for $50. 00.

Where you going to get a good massage and HE for fifty? If you know of such a place let me know.

Their advertisements are deceptive but they do not dress provocatively in my opinion.

My guess is this will eventually catch up with them and they'll either fold are start adding options.

[QUOTE=Spider Man;1569387]On to something else. I've been reading the posts about Panda and the one thing that I haven't really seen is a description of the ladies that work there and what they are wearing during the massage. I'm sure they look nothing like the pics they post.[/QUOTE]You are correct. Jeans, sneakers, short sleeve shirts. Decent shape, but not particularly attractive. The clothing in reality is nothing like the pics in their ads.

Again, not sure what their game is. They might get me as a customer 2 or 3 times, but that'll be the end of the line for me, and sounds like for most of you as well.

IMHO, there could be a market for a massage establishment ok with undraped massage, that doesn't require an appointment, that unashamedly massages the glutes, etc. There isn't anywhere else like that in town. But the teasing, without finishing the deal, is unnecessary and frustrating.

[QUOTE=LustyGuy;1568870]Can't believe you guys tolerate fraudent services. If you get a chance, come to Huntsville and try the Royal Spa (In phone book). Great Table Shower and you can be assured of HE or more. Classical asian massage parlor! LG.[/QUOTE]We have true FS AMPs here in Birmingham too, of course. Quality and LE attention varies, but we have them.

Some of us, however, prefer a massage and happy ending only; and want a quality massage as well as an appropriately priced session. Panda seemed like it might provide this, but now doesn't seem promising.

I too have been to the Panda with the same results as others posting here. It was during the lunch hour, girl dressed in jeans and T shirt. Could not speak any English really. But I heard another customer come in after me and the other lady was speaking fluent English. I wonder if going later at night would bring better results?

[QUOTE=PitbullMuscle;1569710]I too have been to the Panda with the same results as others posting here. It was during the lunch hour, girl dressed in jeans and T shirt. Could not speak any English really. But I heard another customer come in after me and the other lady was speaking fluent English. I wonder if going later at night would bring better results?[/QUOTE]No, it wouldn't. I've been midday, evening and late at night. Nothing to see here. Move along.

I too have been met with the same frustrations in homewood, and as with other reports, one would at least expect HE. I recently went to the new place in hoover on hwy 31. The shower was great, but the paper shorts were horrible. LOL Once in the room my therapist,"mickey"gave one hell of a massage, eventually fully removing the towel. Prior to the flip, things were going great, soft touch, all the usual teases. Upon the flip, she knew that I was aroused. She covered only my joint with the towel, tucking the rest under my thighs leaving all but my dick exposed. The inner thigh massage was driving me nuts! Soft "accidental" touches of the jewels, but no hands on. After a short time, she gently took my hand, placed it under the cover, and without actually saying anything, gave me permission to take care of business myself. This wasnt what I had hoped for, but better than nothing. There I was stroking away, and she just kept massaging. Hopefully these places will get things figured out, I would be perfectly willing to go back to the wallet for a HE, by no means am I expecting it for free, but DAMN!

Another Panda try. Would have tried the Hoover place but the paper shorts are just weird. The Panda was an OK to good massage. 60 minutes was back only. The girl was tall, spoke OK english and very plain. She was very nice and asked me about what people do in the area and we talked about where she was from and stuff. No towel but no hint of anything extra. She just seemed to be very straight. I could hear the other massage girl laughing with her client and cutting up a good bit but nothing that sounded like a HE for anyone. I asked and there was no TS at the Panda. I think she said there was a shower that could be used to rinse off but not for them to soap me up. LOL.

I think they are trying to bring in all of the hotel business around them with their ads just to generate business that won't be back anyways. Any locals they can get for regular massage will just be a bonus.

The Hoover place and those shorts are still weird. I would have had to just hit the road on that one.

I was under the impression that the other MP on 31 was affiliated with Houliang. If that's the case the where did the "masterbation assistance" come from. That seems kind of out of character for a legit MP affiliation. And what's up with the paper shorts? Do you have those on during the massage? I need more info on that.

[QUOTE=Cigar Smoke;1570356]I too have been met with the same frustrations in homewood, and as with other reports, one would at least expect HE. I recently went to the new place in hoover on hwy 31. The shower was great, but the paper shorts were horrible. LOL Once in the room my therapist,"mickey"gave one hell of a massage, eventually fully removing the towel. Prior to the flip, things were going great, soft touch, all the usual teases. Upon the flip, she knew that I was aroused. She covered only my joint with the towel, tucking the rest under my thighs leaving all but my dick exposed. The inner thigh massage was driving me nuts! Soft "accidental" touches of the jewels, but no hands on. After a short time, she gently took my hand, placed it under the cover, and without actually saying anything, gave me permission to take care of business myself. This wasnt what I had hoped for, but better than nothing. There I was stroking away, and she just kept massaging. Hopefully these places will get things figured out, I would be perfectly willing to go back to the wallet for a HE, by no means am I expecting it for free, but DAMN![/QUOTE]The "self-assist" happy ending isn't great, but better than nothing. I very nearly tried that at Panda last week, just to see what she'd do if I put my own hand under the towel.

Chinese (for the most part) staffed massage parlors are cropping up in malls and upscale studios all over the country giving places like Massage Envy a run for their money. Literally. I know because I have been a regular customer up here in Hsv at the PPM since they came into town a couple years back. Yes, the Chinese are Asian, their workers are well trained, and they know exactly where the line is separating legitimate and trouble. And they walk it with great skill and precision. This is almost a franchise and the stakes (not to mention the revenues generated) are high. The PPM place in Hsv is constantly packed and waiting in line for services (especially on weekends) is not too uncommon. Today I visited the PPM parlor where I waited 30 minutes for my favorite girl to be free whereupon I spent the next 90 minutes getting a really great massage by a really cute girl who teased the living daylights out of me. Damn, I swear LEO could have had separate video feeds into the room and never caught an intentional body contact (other than her hands all over my gluts). Yes, it's a tease. But there are plenty of old farts out there like me who are tired of the mechanical / upscale / boring massages trending the old AMPs. Today I had fun and benefited from skillful hands that scraped, swatted, and lightly brushed across the surfaces of my entire body. Agreed, no HE and no intention grabbing on my part and we stayed within the parameters of the rules of the game. Now I know that isn't for everybody and lately the parlor has required underwear to remain on because too many idiots think that a massage parlor in the middle of a freakin' mall, with curtains as doors where whispers can easily be heard across the hall is equivalent to your standard AMP where the menu is al a carte. Come on guys lets rationale with the 'thinking' head! I know the PPM manager and there is no doubt in my mind that the first working girl (or guy) to cross the line with a customer will be shipped back on a slow boat to Shanghi. She is making money hand over fist and without the extras the standard AMP offer. This is a legitimate business and I'm not so naive to know that some hanky-panky may be going on under extreme clandestine conditions (hell I'd love a piece of that) , but the few benefit I do enjoy were cultivated over time and $. Bottom line, if you want a decent massage with light touching / tease in a safe environment then the mall massage parlors are the answer, if HE and FS menus are your game, you'll have to stick to the standard AMP because I don't believe it'll be tolerated at the mall. Anyway thanks for the tip on Panda sounds like a place I might actually enjoy. LD.

[QUOTE=Cigar Smoke;1570356]I too have been met with the same frustrations in homewood, and as with other reports, one would at least expect HE. I recently went to the new place in hoover on hwy 31. The shower was great, but the paper shorts were horrible. LOL Once in the room my therapist,"mickey"gave one hell of a massage, eventually fully removing the towel. Prior to the flip, things were going great, soft touch, all the usual teases. Upon the flip, she knew that I was aroused. She covered only my joint with the towel, tucking the rest under my thighs leaving all but my dick exposed. The inner thigh massage was driving me nuts! Soft "accidental" touches of the jewels, but no hands on. After a short time, she gently took my hand, placed it under the cover, and without actually saying anything, gave me permission to take care of business myself. This wasnt what I had hoped for, but better than nothing. There I was stroking away, and she just kept massaging. Hopefully these places will get things figured out, I would be perfectly willing to go back to the wallet for a HE, by no means am I expecting it for free, but DAMN![/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Hobby Eric;1571115]The "self-assist" happy ending isn't great, but better than nothing. I very nearly tried that at Panda last week, just to see what she'd do if I put my own hand under the towel.[/QUOTE]Eric,

If you do try that at Panda let us know how it goes. I'd be curious if that didn't "unlock" your status so they know you're not Leo.

Maybe next time they do it for you.

Hey guys,

First off I'm not new to this community. I'm here reading you guys all the time. However this is my first time posting here. Also thanks for all the helpful posts, they are really beneficial.

I'm no newbie to the AMP business. So I went in to this message palor about 3 weeks ago hoping that I could get a HE in spite of what I had heard about them—that nothing is going on besides a legit massage and paper short showers. LOL. However, let me say that first off I called because I didn't know how to get there. And to my surprise a male answered the phone. I'm like WTF. This place must really be legit. I'm not used to seeing male employees in these places. So anyways. He goes we busy. Can you come in 30 mins. I tell him ill just come another day. He gets all persuasive on the phone and is like we have pretty asian girl in."Young California girl" he says. In my mind I'm like are you serious. Nobody sells their my massage palor by young pretty girl from California if they are legit. So I decided to go in. And let me say that the building is deceptively large and clean. Very upscale feel. And the area for the massage is hidden in the exit of the building, so you get the impression upon walking in that its just too private to not be offering more. So I get to my room and the asian man walks in. I'm like dude WTF. He goes "my friend I have pretty girl for you today. Can you wait no longer then 10 mins for her." Finally she walks in in sweat pants and a t shirt, but is very young and pretty indeed. By this time I was already changed into the rob that they supply. No paper shorts were to be found. She completely bathed me uncovered front and back, though never touching the junk. She gave an exception shower, and even washed my hair and face. So we get back to the room, and here comes the disappointment as far as the HE goes, though I did get an exceptional massage and left feeling refreshed. She did the normal teasing and grazing of the balls with the inner thigh massage though keeping my junk under the sheet at all times. So I left a little disappointed, but in my mind I felt like the asian man was just too anxious about his" young asian girl". So I came back for a second try at scoring and nothing. Same thing. And yes the shower was still uncovered, no paper shorts to be found. So I finally told myself, I can only be teased one more time, so about a week and a half ago I went back. Same asian guy."my friend, I have new girl for you" he says. Also I must Say that you have no worries while in this place. It is very relaxing. So this time I'm getting my shower, but my masseuse is older maybe 55 and not the best looking which I didn't mind, for I just wanted to see could I score. Again guys, another uncovered no shirts shower. But this time when getting hard as a rock, she gave it attention. She bathed my cock with a towel and not bare hand. So during the stand where she dried me off, she bent down face level with my cock and grabed it with the towel and said "wow he's happy today". At this point I knew I was on. I wanted to make her feel like what she was doing was okay, so I actully bounced up and down a little to make my cock jump in her face and she laughed. So now back in the room, the massage is standardly good there on the back side. She asked me to turn over and she does a excellent leg massage, and the closer she gets to my area, the harder I was getting. I mean literally poking through the sheet. Finally, with out my asking she puts a little grease in her hand and then she removes the sheet and goes to town. An amazing handjob, but I was taking a long time to cum, and she never rushed me but started playing with my ass, while letting me go under her shirt and bra to play with her tits, which were average. But again that's besides the point. I scored, but even more surprising to me is after I came literally everywhere she asked me "you feeling better?" I replied "much better." Then she grabbed the sheet while laughing and cleaned up all of my man gravy. But shockingly she goes back and finishes the massage to my chest and neck. I have never been treated better at a place like this, not even at the known and easy AMPs. Then she never expects a tip, like she really never says anything about it. But don't worry I payed good, well over the standard HE tip trying to assure that I can get this service when I return.

Bad news report, since the day I seen the older lady who gave me the wonderful HE, I haven't seen her their since. I've been three more times since my HE and now when I go in I get paper shorts shower and come no where near closed to a HE. I must say that they do give Consistly good massages though.

I hope that helps guys!

Fantastic report, JodaMan. BRAVO! I was hanging on every word. I mean it. It was like "review porn". Velly interesting and informative. I wonder what happened to mamasan?